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Should A Housewife Demand An Allowance?

Pls my people, is it proper for a housewife to ask her husband for a monthly allowance since she is not working yet? All my married sisters in the house, I need your advice.

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its good to give an allowance but woman should not demand for it. I give my gilfriend money but she never demanded because I have chase away the demanding ones, this issue of allowance may lead to divorce if force on the husband when he is broke but woman should work and not be a burden because they are partner and not pet

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To me, a housewife shouldnt demand an allowance from his husband because a responsibe husband should set aside a total amount of money for his wife's upkeeps every month

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I think this must be the motive of the OP.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-271735.0.html#msg3869610

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ofcourse an allowance should be given to the wife, it will be totally unfair if she has to meet oga for evry of her needs

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I think a man should give his wife allowance especially if she is a house-wife, there is nothing wrong in being a stay-at-home mom. Somewhat they must reach an agreement, he either gives her allowance or she gets working. But every parent knows that bringing up their children without major outside influence like e.g Nannies, Care-givers or even Househelps is priceless. That aside, it helps the man in a way, knowing how much he sets aside for his family gives him a clear start, without having his wife piss him off, each time she needs money to take care of some basic things.

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I don't like the premise of 'demand for an allowance'.

The income to the home belongs to the couple and not the individual (irrespective of who is working or not) and thus it should be a joint decision on how it is spent.

Getting allowances sounds more like if you are being paid to be is wife, a tone I would rather not hear.

I might be odd, but it peeves me when I hear couples, particularly men, use phrases like 'my house', 'my car' etc. They are phrases I would understand coming from a bachelor, but not a married man

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@ Post

ALLOWANCE!! Hellz no!!

If you are talking bout giving the wife money every now and again for her up keep, house keeping e.t.c, then by all means yes, every married man needs to do this. But ALLOWANCE!! NO.

Thats another way of saying should a housewife recieve monthly salary from her husband?? I'll be damned before I pay my wife any salary.

Why not should a husband pay his crippled wife disability, or should a housewife demand a pension scheme from her husband for old age. If we start this bloody allowance scheme, how long before we increase her salary.

Handouts!! Yes

ALLOWANCE, NO

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Nothing wrong with having individual accounts, but a joint one in addition isn't such a lousy idea. A wife that knows how much is in a joint account is most unlikely to make demands on you that are not feasible, she doesn't have to "assume", it's all there in black and white.

I just feel that having seperate accounts only doesn't allow for joint planning for the home.

But, your point's noted, whatever works for you.

Just one thing I'd mention, Ladej - please don't refer to me as "son". For starters, you have no idea how old I am, besides, I find it rather patronizing.

Thank you.

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but the thing is we r not sure why she is not working , it could be that she actually is looking for a job and hasnt been lucky, in the meantime there is nothing wrong with the husband giving her the so called allowance or money for her upkeep, even if she were working there is nothing wrong with him giving her from time to time some money for herself.

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Why would a married woman have to ask her husband for an allowance?

As a married couple, both husband and wife should have access to finances, i.e a joint account.

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Thanks Osisi.

The issue has been discussed many times, but it's like dancing around a very big ball.

When a man has a different opinion on how to treat a wife as a wife not a maid, when a man is so full of himself and thinks nothing or no one knows better than you do then it's somehow difficult.

Your suggestion is highly appreciated, will see to that, hope it works.

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i am a proud yoruba man. I REPEAT IT WILL GIVE ME TREMENDOUS JOY TO GIVE MY WIFE AN ALLOWANCE, AM I NOT HER BETTER HALF? I PRAY GOD CONTINUES TO BLESS ME SO I CAN DO THAT. ANYMAN THAT ARGUES OTHERWISE IS NOT A REAL MAN

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You don't know the husband's income neither do you know their cost of living. There are lots of families where one person's income is enough for them to live on and where the other income is simply to take them to a higher standard of living. There are also those where the one income ensures a very high standard of living beyond others where both parties are working.

Again depending on income, sometimes it's not worth going to work and putting children in Nurseries as they are not cheap. By the time taxes are deducted and travel/lunch etc, it might not be worth going to work. Regardless, if both parties are happy for the woman to stay at home, I ask again, why not?

What you've highlighted in bold doesn't hold water. The woman not working does not save her husband from been made redundant etc. That's what Income Protection Insurance, Life Insurance etc are for.

I asked before, are you married?

You are a lucky man, she should have chopped your clothes and made them into disposable sanitary towels. You deserve every name she calls you though I don't know what 'akagum' means.

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Sit down and talk about it with him

If it doesn't work,give him those bills and refuse to pay them

by the time the light gets cut off, and the water is shut down,he'll pay them

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What about in a case that both husband and wife work and the husband never appreciated all what the wife is doing to support the family, he earns more than the wife obviously, has a small business he's doing but he never sees all the bills the wife is paying with her paychecks living from hands to mouth, he does not care how the wife looks, in fact he monitors what the wife wears sometimes. How can that wife ask the husband for allowance?

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One person's salary is enough indeed[b],have you heard of lay offs, downsizing, termination, divorce, sickness, death?[/b]

why should you stay home full time ,are you a quadriplegic?

Children can be put in day care and that woman can carry her behind to work part time.There's no study to show that children in day care are worse off,if anything,they get to associate with other children and learn how to interact from an early age not being smothered at home by a puff puff eating mother.

why should a grown woman depend 100% on a man for financial sustenance,do you know what happens when the " I do" becomes "I don't?"

A wise woman learns from other people's experiences

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a housewife do not need to demand allowance from a RESPONSIBLE man.

it is natural for a man to give his wife allowances for the upkeep of the house and other micellaneous and for a full time housewife she need a personal allowance. .

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Do we really understand wot an allowance is?

For me it like giving one pocket money.

From the topic, it is clearly stated that the wife is not working.

Why should I give her pocket money when I personally would rather prefer her working. Lets say her qualification cant take her into the corporate world then I will open a business for her. She has to learn how to make the money. I as a man know my responsibilities in the home, which by the grace of God I will not be found wanting in but until she makes effort to earn her own income, she might never appreaciate the value of my rising early and coming in late to provide for her. What if she wakes up one morning and the Lord has called me home, wot happens to her and the kids.

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My wife asked me for an allowance and i told her i couldn't afford it but i would rather she table her needs as they come so that i would solve them based on available resources. She got angry and refused to tell me her needs altogether except for pressing needs like making her hair, buying pads or recharge cards.

I don't have any problem with my wife coming to me every now and then asking me she needs this or that and i don't see any reason why she should not be able to tell me her needs.

After sometime, we had issues and she attributed it to my refusal to cater for her needs claiming that i should know when she has needs like changing her undies, buying her cream and toiletries or new clothes since we live in the same house.

At the end of the day, she decided to get a job and she is working now. I expect that since she is working and earning enough to meet her needs the problem is solved. But not at all. she's still calling me a wicked, mean and an 'akagum' of a man even though she doesn't contribute a dime of her income to the upkeep of the home.

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@ post.

You should not have to demand it. I believe a responsible man should trust a responsible wife with all his money and vice versa since they are one and have the same goals.

My wife (who has a job) has two of my credits cards and my atm card.  She also has access to all my financial accounts. She never asked for the cards - she earned them. Cos i know she's either spending to take care of the house, my child or herself to look good and presentable. That way, she never has to ask me for money, although she tells me when she needs to do something major. We do not waste money. And when we want to send money to our extended families, we're both ok with it since we need them to be happy too.

it's all about the relationship you have.

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@ poster

I believe the husband should know his responsibility and should know his wife needs money for upkeep. He should wait till she demands as u put it. That expression kind of like picture the marriage as an endurable one rather than an enjoyable one.

However, for the men who wants to be told everything, there is a way u can approach ur husband and talk it over. Make it personal and not official. God bless u!

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This has absolutely nothing to do with being a house wife or not. A man that wants to misbehave will do so regardless of how much money the wife puts on the table and so will a man that will abuse his wife or let his family do it for him.

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i can understand a person who is not working expecting some form of allowance, but for a working woman. . .perhaps i too should still be collecting alawi from my folks

it has already been stated, as long as you are financially dependent on a person, he/she will piss on you. its just human nature. all those advocating for stay at home moms should realize this. a man will always think twice about hitting cheating on or misbehaving in any other way, with a woman who has the fiscal means to tell him to go to hell

right now, in my office, one of my colleagues has more or less moved out of her husband's house. (the mans's jnr sis was beating up on her or some such and the man was more or less approving of the whole thing. she sits opposite me, so i get to hear the phone conversations etal) the man and so many people have been calling. if the woman was a housewife, na soso i jam staircase one would have been hearing every other day. those who will hear , let them hear, get a job! one of my uncles took a second wife some years back. the wife could do nada, as she was a pure housewife.

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And why not? If you have children and one person's salary is enough to care for the family why can't she stay home to raise the children? Even if there are no children and the husband is agreeable, I see why not.

Do you really mean this?

@ Poster

I work and I still get allowances from my husband; helps to teach responsibility. I wasn't getting it before as I felt I was an independent woman but he found other uses for his money including putting his extended family first. Now he will consider his responsibilities at home before being Father Xmas.

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Gbam!!

Osisi!! I am so glad women like you still exist.

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me never will I give allowance to my wife,,we both work and spend our money based on our budget.we operate all the accounts we have.There is one we don't touch at all and we invest adequately for our future.basically we are approaching the stage where she would start staying with the kids at home,,and we have saved more than enough to start a business that would give her adequate time for the kids and family while I continue my with work.

She can,t sit at home doing nothing because of the way I have groomed her in this relationship,,I still have over 15 years to put into my job or even 20,,and God is helping us all the way.She is no doubt the proverbs 31 woman and I wish all women could be like her.

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I thought the poster was asking on her sisters' behalf ,the statement below got me confused.

Anyway, I have a little problem with the phrase "demand for allowance"

What type of relationship is this?

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It looks like a prostitute service. Sad and pathetic.

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Ok sorry I thought you were the husband asking too! Sorry. Make a list of what you need each month - for both the house and for yourself - and ask him straight up for it. He should be taking care of you as his wife.

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I thought the husband posted the topic. If you are the wife, we are all on your side. Yes, you should be getting allowance for your own personal needs. If you don't how do you intend to take care of yourself e.g clothes, hair and other things women need to look good. Request for it otherwise, you need to get urself a job or ask him to give you some money to start a business so you can get some spending money from ur porfit  cos it seems your husband cannot take care of you.

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its not that i dont get the monthly pay to stock up the house with food stuff,just that i feel i should be getting my own personal allawance

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oga oh, so if she isnt working and you don't give her an allowance other than grocery money, how would she take care of herself and buy the things she needs. If she needs sanitary pad for her monthly or need new underwear, would you prefer she come to you to ask for that or would you want her to give you a list of what she needs so you can get them for her. If she starts looking hagard now, you will be the first to complain about not looking the way she was before you married her. If you know what is good for you and you don't want any problems in your marriage, you better take care of your wife.

I work fulltime and still get allowance from my hubby, and its not like i even asked him for it. He pays for my hair to get done and my pedicure to be on point. I take care of whatever else i need and part of our bills with my paycheck.

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or would u prefer other men pay it for you sir?

it is your responsibility any responsible man would gladly give his wife allowance

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I think its ok. I work but my husband gives me a monthly allowance to take care of the home, go to the market etc.

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Thanks, Ladej.

Usually, I don't react to a lot of things, but it's been a heavy week.

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