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Should A Married Lady Ask Her Very Rich Ex-boy Friend For Finaicial Assistance?

Hello N/landers,

I met a guy who posed that question to me and thought to bring it down here for discussion.

Please tell me what u think.

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Any husband that consents to such nonsense with the assurance that there'll be no strings attached must be the biggest buffoon of his generation. No two ways about that

And I can't help but laugh contemptuously at the women who say "why not, so far there are no strings attached". No strings, because of what? It's incredible the way women deceive themselves and wholeheartedly believe their own deception.

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My prayer is that no one will face a challenge that would warrant such act. hence, in my own opinion i think  its depends on the person of this "ex/bf". If he has intergrity, his kind hearted and willing to help not because of what he wants to get in return but because he sees a need which he feels God has enabled him to meet. I think he can be of help. But if its the other way round i strongly disagree. I noticed that some nairalanders mentioned, the woman getting help from else where, but in a situation where the "else where" fails e.g family members not rich, friends dissapointing, banks not ready to loan?? e.t.c and left with the only option of this ex  and probably its a pressing situation such as a life needs to be saved ( Health issues)? Above all just as i mentioned may God sufficiency be made availabe to us always.

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Crucify me if you want- but as far as Im concerned, the marriage ends the day my wife mentions it or even give me any reason to believe she's considering it

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, that means she still in touch with with her ex or still thinking about him?

C'mon give me a break

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i aint in support of anybody asking anybody for money, , ex or unex, let all man work for his money., provide a usevalue that can be transformed to cash value. if she wants to work in her ex's company, then fine! u see the only way to move the country forward is by working for your pay, charity would only put food on the table for hours, , get INSPIRATION., if ur ex is rich then that should inspire your husband to work harder.

i am not asking u to be strong hearted and not give, all i am asking is this "let asking anybody for a favour be your entirely last resort and even at such, try giving a use value in return." for instance, if a student needs help from his uncle, the student shouldnt mind doing some manaul labour for the uncle, u culd help with the garden and stuffs, if the uncle then decides to give u a million, FINE!

to be creative, a use value should always be transfered to cash value. sorry if my epistle is too long!

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It is an insult to the husband, it is a great disrespect towards my husband for me to ask for money from my x-boyfriend. If that should happen definatly have given my x-boyfriend a reason for disrespect towards my husband

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I have been following your posts on this matter. Keep them coming. We men sweet-talk a lot and many women - including married ones, fall yakata at the 'strenght' of a sweet-talking, romantic guy. Be not deceived, you're playing with fire if you meet your wealthy ex for financial help - even with the consent of your husband!

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All this talk about it being ok, because you want to show you're "secure" doesn't cut it with me.

I won't be comfy with my wife asking for cash from her ex. Someone she used to sleep with, and

saw what Ideally, only me was supposed to see.

Abeg.

If I was collecting money from an ex in marriage, wait a sec, I wouldn't do it, simple!

I won't even have them around me, because I want no attachment to the past, just the person in the present.

Its an insult to your hubby if you don't know. And if you keep it a secret, and he finds out, good luck in your marriage.

No woman would be comfortable with the idea if the tables were turned. If she posted it on NL, everyone

would crucify the guy and swear he was sleeping with her.

Please abeg, there are more ways to get money than from the ex. What if the guy tries to sleep with her? And she agrees

out of indebtedness? Or He blackmails her abt telling her husband? There are so many things wrong with this scenario.

And most guys would tell you, once you've slept with someone, you can always go back,

So lets leave this thing abeg,

Nothing "secure" or "mature" about this scenario,

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You guess is as good as mine as per what will happen if your husband finds out, and not from you. Right?

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^^^^^^^rephrase that as SOME men are like that. the repayment of the loan is all the expenses that a REAL FRIEND will require. . . . . . . . . . . focus on REAL FRIEND not the supposed "friend", desperate that has a volcano in his pant and wants to sh*ag all his female acquaintance.

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^^^^thats because there is a common bond (the child in between) if not that, he will be wanting a payment for his expenses, men are like that.

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i was a single mother before i got married. my son's father parents never liked me but my son's father was my friend at university. it is 10years now and he is married too and we are good friends and i ask him for money when i am broke and he usually gives me. but my husband doesnt know this .i have nothing with him he is just my friend no feelings, so i feel like asking money from my big brother.

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i dont think its right for her to tell her hubby cos when they get out of the woods it will backfire on the lady.

if she has do it shd be on a platonic level no strings attached.

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Should A Married Lady Ask Her Very Rich Ex-boy Friend For Finaicial Assistance?

A capital NO! I have a theory dat says ~Never put urself in the hands of a guy/man(long as he got balls),especially if u`re attractive. He`ll take advantage.` Dont tempt the tempter.

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Ere ki laja n bekun se. He that wants to dine with devil must use a long spoon. In my books, this includes staying away from exes especially when married.

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^^^^^^thanks for being sincere.

it is not easy to just forget some ex's. talk of 'true', youthful relationtionship/intimacy.

everything you are doing with your wife/husband in the bedroom today, somebody did the same thing(s) with her/him some time in the past.

and intimacy lasts longer that we think at times.

hypocricy is the main problem in nigeria.

thank you MRbrownJAY.

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apart from the relationship that ended on a very negative note (and the ones that i lost their contact), i am in contact with most of my exes. thanks to Facebook, i even found some more from WAY back!

my woman has no problem with that and i have absolutely no problem in her having contact with her ex. if i didnt trust her in such small BS then there would be no reason for us to be together. life is to beautiful to be worrying about stupidity like that, the stress will give you an ulcer, lol!!!!

to all the people in relationship/married who dont have any trust in their partners, i suggest you chain your partner to the bedpost every morning before going to work because any smart person will know that if your partner REALLY WANTS to cheat then they will bloody do it and wont wait for a loan to get the opportunity. . . . . . . .they can do it whether it is with a colleague, an ex, the house gal/boy, the gardener or simply the driver.

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You don't need to sleep with someone before giving a helping hand to him or her,once they have been together is always good to keep it going even after both got married to different people,so each can still assist the other,though sex should not be there again,but we are all human attraction is still there so when it happens,it should be taking as nothing afterall once together always together,either mentally,emotionaly or spiritualy.

What is the big deal in sleeping with your EX anywhere?

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well i think i agree wt u. pray such circumstances shld nt arise

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What is not good is not good.

Never make any attempt of asking any money or anything from your ex-man,

this simply means that you are setting a trap to spoiling your marriage

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this could lead to assunder, its not bad, depend on the ex kind of person. even if she tells th husband, in the long run he will still be makn reference, the trust will depreciate despite the wifes faithfulnes. wen it coms to man / woman trust gt limit. if i were the lady i will thnk 2ce b4 telln my husband rather confide in a close frnd of his who will trust me or his relations. make God no let us see hardship. sometym the become fussy.

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there is notin bad in it, but let it have a limit.

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If the ex is easily hot tempered then don't.

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men, please answer this question.

are you in CONTACT (may be just to say hi, once in a while) with one or two among your ex's or not?

if your answer is yes (most likely, provided you are not lying), then, surely, an ex of your wife, is also in contact with her.

and once d'ebe is d'ebe for life.

don't be deceived!

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Provided the ex- will not use that as an avenue to lure her to bed because the husband will not be happy if he finds out.

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i dont think there is anything wroug in asking money from your ex-boy if there is nothing between both of them and the husband of the lady should be aware,there is where the problem come in something when he doesnt know about it,

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The word Ex-boyfriend means someone who had sex with in the past or just ordinary friend.

If the woman ever had sex with the guy. NO NO dont ever try it, cos we cant trust ourselves well enough to the rythmn of emotions.

Besides, being a husband doesnt make any man immuned to hardship, if all the doors are closed and the only one opened is Ex-bf, may be there is a lesson to learn. Nature dont make mistakes. You are being tested. Fall for it or against it. Use your agency, Whatever decision you take is Okay. Afterall many policitians push their wives into sleeping with presidents and governors for contracts. What makes u think makes their wives have superior powers over them

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NO WAY.D rich guy can use his cash to control the marriage

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A married woman should have no business with her ex in the first place. . .

I find it tacky.

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Once a thief will always be a thief,& there is no other name for something that is bad,the best thing is for the man to be prayerful,not to eat the food of his enemy,there is no way you will heard that something connect your wife with her ex- that your mind will not think otherwise,so the best way is to stay out of it

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all those of you saying '"NO, WHAT ARE BANKS FOR, HE IS NOT MAN ENOUGH."etc, I guess you have never really needed money. if you have ever REALLY needed money, your ex or your wifes ex would appeal to you. how easy is it to get a loan from a bank? whay makes you think she cant be bleeping him without borrowing a penny from him? i would like to see the look on your face when baba landlord comes ond throw you and your kids on the street knowing fully well that there is someone who could have easily helped you if you would only ask.

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I still need to understand what you mean by 'staying in touch'

But whatever that means, only an irresponsible and shameless woman will carry the affair of her family to her ex, to the extend of borrowing money from him,

which means she is indirectly telling her ex, that her husband is incapable.

As for me, if my wife 'stays in touch' and borrowed money from the ex and I found out, she lost whatever respect and trust I have for her

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A responsible husband should disagree to that no matter how worst the case maybe. (BIG MAN)i agree with u.

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and they ask for gifts occassionally. but, the fact is, 'once there is there forever'. forget what women are saying here, almost all of them would have intimacy with you as long as you continue to progress (at least better than their husbands). or if you were so nice (and successful now as well) when you're lovers.

i have not done it (intmacy) just out of respect i have for them but i know it is possible. i tend to stay in touch with those who treated me well. some of these girls were so nice when we're lovers.

are jonathan goodluck's ex's not going to try to stay in touch with him now?

think about that.

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trust me on this. almost all married women stay in touch with one ex lover or the other.  up to 3 among my ex's still call me regularly. the same with my brothers. one is even a stong 'born again' christian. one tells her husband about it. believe me guys, they tend to stay in touch with men who continue to progress or if you treated them well when you're lovers.

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as i said i havent seen her in a long time and she is already in a bad situation with her marriage so being tempted by her did not arise.besides that "fire"for her has died and has been replaced!!!

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But, were you tempted, I mean that fire that was there, did it tempt you to want something. Suppose she was near?

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@invisible the issue of "settlement"never came up cos i havent seen her for over THREE YEARS(we dont stay in the same area.i gave her what i could but when it became too much i backed out.it seems she aint having a happily married life and i no wan worsen the matter!!

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@dmy, did it ever cross your mind to collect 'settlement' from her for the assistance?

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guy are u crazy? if God bless person like u, u go miss use life oh. dats means ur help to are is conditional. in order way round u go betray ur wife 4 money.

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hmmm- im at the fence on this, just remember nothing is for free!

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ummm, i found myself in this same situation with my Ex-who is now married(i'm not)it seems her husband isnt taking care of her too well and she came to me for assistance.i helped with the little i had but when she became persistent i had to CUT0OFF.(mind u i havent seen her in over 3yrs.all communication with her was by phone)so that na wetin i do oh

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I thinks its wrong, and for those saying the

woman can take money from her ex,as long as her hubby is not aware,hmmm,that's even more risky.

cos the moment the husband finds out,its gonna be the beginnin of the end of their marriage.

i pray i wont find myself in sure a dire situation.i know of a woman who kept asking her ex for money to buy baby things

when she was heavily pregnant. i mean its so shameful,but in her situation,i think the husby was damn broke at taht moment,though to me its still not an excuse,she clda asked her family members.

@favourdjb, You should know that by going to her family is proving to them that the husband is not capable of having a wife or her family may not be financialy okay.

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I thinks its wrong, and for those saying the

woman can take money from her ex,as long as her hubby is not aware,hmmm,that's even more risky.

cos the  moment the husband finds out,its gonna be the beginnin of the end of their marriage.

i pray i wont find myself in sure a dire situation.i know of a woman who kept asking her ex for money to buy baby things

when she was heavily pregnant. i mean its so shameful,but in her situation,i think the husby was damn broke at taht moment,though to me its still not an excuse,she clda asked her family members.

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There is this saying by my colleague in the office" Old firewood dey quick catch fire" meaning that old lovers be it ex or no ex, that old fealings can ignite and anything could happen. Some women might decide not to inform their hubby about it. May we not see problems in our life.

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There is nothing wrong with that, but I still feel we have to be contented with what we have as that might still lead to another thing, if the man is not responsible and vice verser.

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"That is because i trust my wife. . . . . .I know no amount of money can get her to go sleep with another man.

In your case, you don't trust yourself and you know a briefcase full of cash can egg you on to eat the forbidden fruit."

ok even if money cant move her, other things might, like wanting to be adventurous, or even trying to remember what her ex felt inside (or outside) of her, so?? money wont be the thing moving her, just curiosity, please let sleeping dogs sleep and even fall into death. so you should not let anything bring exex together at all. whether near death-money/ financial or even employment needs

dont go there!!!!!

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