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Should I Let My Feelings Known To Him? Pls Help!

we have been friends for about six months now. hes a good friend to me and we get along very well. all this while i have loved him secretly and funny enough, we have never discussed anything about love life until just last week when he started asking questions about my boyfriend and i told him i dont have. when i asked about him he said he has just expressed his love to someone but refused to disclose who the person is and that she has not agreed. the way he talks about it, its like speaking in parables. im suspecting he may be talking about me or someone else, i dont really know.

now the feelings i have for him are even more intense and i cant eat or sleep. i dont know either if he has feelings for me. i as a woman have never liked the idea of approaching a guy first. but now im being tempted to throw caution to the wind and tell him how i feel about him, but i fear wat the outcome may be. pls wat do i do? im really confused.

pls advice me.

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38 answers

i think you should follow your instincts. it's better if you let him know how you feel bout him cos you can't keep waiting for him to tell you whether he likes you or not, if you do that and he doesn't feel the same you ll be able to back out before you build you dreams and aspirations around someone that you are not sure of.

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My gf and i are together becos she broke the ice by texting me she love me.

send her a text msg that u love her

i mean the txt msg shud jst say " I LUV U" that all, and c his respond wen next u met him.

after my girl txt me that, i notice her feeling, den i begin to tell her how much i also do, our relationship is 1yr plus now.

like i say, jst txt him, "I LUV U" that all, not "i lik u"

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thank you all for ur advice and responses.

i have been able to find out that my friend actually had someone else in mind and not me. very painful though but i hav decided to move on and maybe be smarter next time. thanks once again.

end of story!

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@Poster,

Like someone said earlier, Ask Him What he feels about you. you need to know this before you start proffessing your love.

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i want to thank you all so much for ur suggestions and replies so far.

as for wat has happened so far, as at friday last week, i decided to try and take his tots off my mind. i decided not to call him except he calls and i avoided seeing him since then. i just had to do this to clear my head.

i also talked to one of his very close senior friend who was very understanding to my plight and promised to talk to him in a bid to know the mystery girl he talked about without letting him know that we had discussed anything. so far, they've not been able to talk but i am waiting for him to give me feedback sha. i think the outcome of their discussion will determine my next line of action.

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have u ever lived in ph? i guess not, if u haven't go there, it been no big deal to the best of my knowledge, even back in 1997 my friend was approached by a girl that she is interested in him and she said more stuff i cant write here, she just laid down her cards period. in RUST another girl approached me and my friends, she too laid her cards down, i didnt disrespect her for being so bold and forward, i admired her even when i was not interested in her, up till this date, i dont look down on her, i see her as a respectable woman period. in my high school back in abuja, girls ask guys out constantly like no man biz and nobody gives a tooth. so nigeria has its liberal parts too

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You think asking a guy out in England is the same thing as asking a guy out in Naija,abi? You think the liberal attitudes in such countries have leached into all the countries iof the world? Nigerian attitudes towards stuff like that have remained pretty much the same. 'How liberal they are about dating depends on how much they've been exposed to Western attitudes, if they'd gotten educated or lived there. If the couple were neighbours in Soho I'd give her different advice. But they're not. You're importing a liberalism that only pretends to exist in Nigeria there. Still I don't know the guy personally and she does. If she can get away with it, tell him why not. But I wouldn't advise it. The reverse psychology thing might be a good idea. She still doesn't tell him outright and so avoids getting egg on her face. Even our European counterparts mostly don't just go blabbing their feelings to guys, but are often reasonably sure of success before they try,and if the guy isn't emotionally available to them they often say nothing at all. And those are in countries where a lot of the men have some emotional integrity.

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it is funny how when it comes to asking for love naija women always claim old fashion but cooking they tell u they are 21st century girls. times have changed girl, a guy will use u whether he asked u 1st or u did. ur respect in a relationship is not built on the approach or request but what happens there after, how u conduct urself, boundaries u set. she will remain there until another sharp warri/ph/lagos girl will show up and steal his heart right from under her nose

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What are you waiting for? Tell him girl.

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Mehnnn! i agree to reverse psychology. for example, during a conversation, look for the right place to chip this in. Tell him you

thought he was a correct guy and that you have been giving him green light since but he has not been seeing it. Then don't talk to

him again.

There are two possible outcomes

1. If he likes you, he'll try to respond to the indirect verbal green light. When he does, slow him down to your pace.

2. If he doesn't like you like that, he'll just ignore you too. In this case, asking him out will not have worked either.

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Girlie2000

My advise/oppinion is tell him how you feel.(it doesn't mean you damn cheap!)

fact is you can always play the 'hard-catch' as the relationship goes on. . .

Jus tell him how you feel for him---period!

and lets both of you get moving

truth me, you maybe be the one he is talking about and vice-versa!

if you c a guy you love, baby---No Dull Yourself!

funny enough! One of my male friend was force to become a firlt when a gurl approach him where in Nigeria(warri). . .

Imagine her coment "I will like to mess you ooo"

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Try using reverse psychology, Ignore him for some days, If he ask you what the matter is, Tell him that you have feelings for a guy and you wondering if you should tell him first because you are scared some other girl may snatch him and you are so in love with him, Tell him with all these with an air of nonchallance, His response will determine how everything is gonna play out,

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she will end up dying within

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Life is to short, don't you might to to subtle. He may never get your message. just let him know how your feel or it may pass bye and you always wonder what if?

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Don't tell him. DON'T. Get a hold on yourself.

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@poster

snap out of it

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no teach her bad thing ooo

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IMHO, i would say zip your mouth and tape your feelings for him at least for now. dont rush it, cuz you might appear desperate to him and he will likely

take advantage of your vulnerability. wait and see who this mystery girl he has feelings for is, if it is you or someone else before you unload your own package.

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[red] seem like its fun here, am new to this section,,, proper info, i am TjoSH[/red]

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ask him what he thinks of you. you dont loose your head for that do u?

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girl,expresss urself.all these ones no get confidence

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tell him, i love girls tell me than me tell them

i feel lovely and confortable when they tell me

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@girlie2000. What exactly do you want to know? I am an naija person and always will be. The thing is I deeply appreciate women that have the courage to let a man know exactly how they feel towards them (though some shallow minded people see it as being cheap) i know some men see it that way and the take it for granted saying afterall she asked me out.

I have and will always appreciate courageous women, they are indeed very rare.

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are u serious?! did this happen here in nigeria? cld u tell me a little about it pls?

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This is a new world. Go ahead and express yourself, no one is going to kill you for it. A lady once expressed herself to me and now were are happily married.

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you need to get a hold of your feelings, allow him come out express himself, and do the asking. not you. and i will advise your keep your thots straight, its possible he is talking about someone else. so u dnt get hurt when he opens up, and u find its someone else. besides if its you, them u will get to hear it in due course, there's no need racing your heart muscles for nothing.

sleep and eat.

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If your sister no fine no be him fault

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@Afribiz thanks for ur suggestions too, i appreciate. actually, i do some of the things in ur list already cos of our friendship. maybe i'll need to do more while i try to get a hold of myself

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@ girlie,

* Call him on phone (at most once a day) and ask how he's doing

* Acknowledge his looks- like, whao! you look so handsome today

* Allow him to accompany you to some places, eg salon, cyber-cafe, church/mosque, etc, and do likewise.

* Little gifts every now and then will do.

* Ask him what he feels about your dressing when you're about going out (As in , do i look okay?)

* Show great concern in matters relating to his family and friends.

* Do console/encourage him when he feels sad, discouraged and confused.

* Always look good (from head to toe). Don't overdress, just be simple and unique.

Those are the clues i can think of for now. Please don't throw yourself on him, don't seduce him, that will only make you look worthless. It could even mar your blissful relationship with him. I'm sure he'll prefer to go for the girl he spent some energy on, than the one that came for him. Who knows, you could even be the one he was indirectly referring to, so just play cool and matured, till he eventually opens up.

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Be careful girl,lest ur actions wud scare him away and make u look like some desperate slut.what if he does not feel the same way as u do and turn u down,can u handle the rejection?

Things like that are better left for men,let him make the first move,Ok.dont let ur emotions ruin the beautiful relationship u are enjoying now.Hes a Nigerian man,let him make the first move,if na Oyinbo e for be a diff. ball game.

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haba! AjaraEwuro, dont spoil d poor girlee!

@poster

Just show him more care and attention. ask him wittingly what he feels abt u. pls don't sleep with him or try to appeal to him sexually.

all the best dear.

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simple as asking what he thinks of you?

it is tricky but be carefull and pls pls dont spoil it by sleeping with him

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appear Unclad when he comes in, open your laps wide and ask him to dip his pe nis inside your hot steamy pu ssy, thats the only way to express your feelings to him.

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@foye57 and JJYOU thanks, i appreciate ur replies.

still open to more suggestions pls

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. . .was only jokin, girlie.

in my opinion, you need to show some green light. . this might really help. instead of expecting a miracle.

just pray the guy won't take advantage of you.

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lets know how d cindarella story goes dear. cheers.

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