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Should Parents Find Wives For Their Son?

Should a man marry a woman even if his parents didn't agree to it. On the other hand if someone's parents finds a wife for him should he marry the girl even if he is not inlove with her or should he say no to it.

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36 answers

I think if my dad shuld choose for me, the girl must be assy and breastee

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@post

No, because i don't want to find my husband through his mother nor father. I want to be the girl he chooses. I want to know that he wants me because he chose me out of all the other women.

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Well said, however, most parents feel threatened when questioned, but time has changed, when we need to question and get answers.

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If a parent object about a lady you intend, ask them why.

I believe they have good reasons that you may not see.

But you don't have to marry their propose girl for you

because you are to find your wife yourself to obtain favour from God

and not the other way round

All the best.

Cheers

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I kinda agreed with you, but how could a man always running to mama and papa when he and his wife is having a prob, likewise, how cld a woman learn how to be a wife, when she has to run home to mama at all times, and not all mothers have a good advice, so it is important that the man and the woman are able to handle their wahala, except if it is out of hand

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im not disputing all these but not all marriages in the old days went along these lines u just bullet pointed,the fact is that what makes most marriages crumble is people not willing to work issues out,if parents were involved right from the beginning then your wife or husbandwill think twice before doing some things and will also think twice before i.e beating the wife,cheating e.t.c

you say the world has moved on and i say to you that,the institution of marriage has lost its appeal since the old days when things were done diffrently true or false?if true then doesnt that say who is right or wrong?

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That is simply because:

1~~ in the old days, the women dont eevn work, so they depends on the man for everything, now some babes ave more money than the husband sef, we have more stay home dada now than then.

2~~it is almost like a taboo then fro the woman to leave the husband house, cos when they do, they will have to go back to their mama and papa's house, not now, the babe also have her own house, before she married u and have her own money

3~~ the mothers will stay even when they are not happy, cos of the kids, but now, the kids will be the one to beg the mother to leave, cos home without happiness is iraqi with talibans.

4~~women are not even aloud to talk then, but now, women are respected and even more judge now in da court of law are ladies.

if you want more, i cld continue, all i am saying is that, time has changed and we cant compare those times and this time together.

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thats why most men or women dont do adequate researches into their prospective partner's families before marriage

at least its working for the indians,how has it worked for the white man or the average dude "who supposedly has his head screwed on to thier necks"seeing as they have left their parents out of it and married their choice how come the rate of divorce in the rest of theworld is going up while amongst the indians,chinese is stagnant or even going down in some cases??

how come the old school parents rarely divorce but sort things out amongst themselves

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Sometimes it cld be a good thing, cos there are some guys out there that have no idea what is good for them, so for such men, YES, but for other men that has their heads screwed well to their neck, Mama and Papa shd stay out it and let them make their choice.

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Gosh!!! thats a bad thing, the man is not blind, its an institution a man gotta open hin eye well.

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Thats an 18th century question cos the answer is NO

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@post

I'm sure hell would not be going out looking for a husband for my son(s).

Them no get leg?

I can approve or disapprove after they've found her

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Do you know we have something called punctuation marks? Full stop, comma, hyphen, dash, exclamation mark, question mark etc--- Your posts are hard to read is it better this way?.

1. Darling, you use a capital letter to start a new sentence.

2. Comma isn't the only existing punctuation mark

3. At a point you need to put a full stop to your sentence and start a new one.

4. Who do you think need some English classes between us?

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well its not my fault if you dont understand or couldnt read it,all i know is that i v not made any grammartical errors so the inability to read it is with yourself

arranged marriage has evolved into a modern phenomenon in the asian community,its no more about forcing people to marry,its about educated,independent,focused male and female asian professionals in every field who are looking to settle down with someone of their ethnicity but have no time to do the whole trial and error search and gets their parents involved,i am educated and independent in every sense and i dont live in nigeria and so are many nigerians guys and girls,if we decide that we dont want to marry a white or non nigerian yet we cant meet a nigerian partner that ticks all our boxes if parents get involved and working by the kind of partner we want they come through wheres the negative in that?the statistics prove it is a sucess and looking for partners on our own is not as sucessful,just by looking at the dating section on here and also the diffrent experiences of heart aches/broken relationships on here shows that arranged marriage is better

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I have finally read it, or tried to read it. Well, I didn't understand what you were trying to say but I'll comment the little I caught.

Nor be only naive, illiterates and village girls are tricked into arranged marriage. Any act that isn't your will is bound to fail if it depended solely on you without external influences. You may see those couples from Pakistan and other Arab countries together, smiling in public but do you know what really goes on in their homes? I can't prove they are unhappy, just like you can prove they are satisfied, therefore I have every right, just like you, to say that arrange marriages are nothing but a way to secure the parents' interests. Their children's happiness is the last thing they think of because they always take it for granted that the child is happy when the family is happy.

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I'll read your essay some other time.

*yawnnnnn*

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hahahahha, my parents cant even try it

they know me too well,

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most of these ladies arent even happy with their marriage. they just suffer in silence. and "the strong family support" you are talking about is just the women trying to convince the young lady that there is no way out so just bear it.

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Do you even realize the kind of crap you are saying? I bet you as well support child marriages since they never turn out in divorce. Imagine using a society where people are denied their most important human rights to justify a supposed happy situation! Tell me, i bet you also prefer a dictatorship to democracy then, right?

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Who bleeping cares about their family support? They can rot in hell for all I care if it guarantees my happiness!

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recently in the state of Chicago, Illinois a Pakistani man murdered his own blood daughter just because she longer wanted to be married to her arranged husband. so dont tell me anything about strong families support.

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@ poster

Why don't they move directly to their matrimonial bed to teach him how to make love to his wife?

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the reason why they have low divorce rates is because they believe strongly on family honor. so if a woman tries to divorce her arrange marriage with her husband, she has the possibility of being killed or disowned to restore that honor.

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the indians and pakistanis do arranged marriages and they have the lowest divorce rates of all minorities and even whites, lowest crime rates and the sons are accomplished,independent in their chosen field of endeavours,ill  rather marry a girl from my parents recommendation than marry a girl i met or got hooked up with by friends who s more or less a prostitute

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And the ladies do? yeh rite!!!

@post

Well, if all parties involved (the parent and the couple) sees notin wrong then who are we to disagree? my take is no one shud be presssured to marry agaist their wish. At least, must of our parent whose oarents looked for wives for are still happpiliy married today. But like someone said time change, So i for one has chosen to change wit it so i am gonna take my time to find whats mine (WIFE)

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They should ooh!

becos these days the Sons dont know what they want

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why is that,tell me why its wrong instead of calling me a baby,either you like it or not you r still a baby as far as your parents are concerned

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lucabrasi

you are still a baby.

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i dont see anything wrong with parents finding a wife for their son,as long as he is allowed to make the final decision and not pressured,after all guys and girls tell their friends to hook them up with a guy or girl,the only diffrence3 in this case is that while your friend is hooking you up with a girlfriend,your mum/dad will hook u up with a friend's daughter all same thing

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Marriage they say is an institution.It is seen as a school of wisdom and learning for those that are rightly involved. It is also a life affair that needs to be entered in through a divine will and direction from God.The bible says ''for in this case shall a man leave his parent and cleave to his own wife and both of them  shall become one''. It is not good and not adviseable for any father or mother to find wife for their son or husband for their daughter.Everybody has aright to carry his or her own cross, so that at any situation or conditons that may arises from their martrimonial home, be it good or bad,the parent will be free from it.

So it is not good for parent to find wife for their son.

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If the guy is blind the answer is YES.

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"Words of wisdom", those are the words of our parents, and it's always good to heed their warnings. If parents don't agree to their son marrying a lady, I think the son should find a way to stop the relationship fast and not stubbornly go ahead to marry the lady - such marriages don't last. The parents must have seen, heard or stumble upon some facts about the lady or her family and don't the Yoruba's say again "oro agba bi o se l'owuro, bo pe titi a se lojo ale" - it's only a matter of time.

Do you know that in those days there is what is called 'arranged family weddings'. Most popular in the Northern Nigeria and also among the Ondo people in the south. Two close affluent families would, the moment they have both sex children, decide there and then they would be married when they grow up. The families also become in-laws immediately. And no matter where these children are raised, home or away, whether they've met or not, they know they have a wife/husband waiting for them somewhere. And when the time is right, they are married. I have seen arranged marriages like this work over and over again. But times are changing, and its changing with our custom and traditions, and most young men nowadays feel they have a right to decide for themselves.

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is it the parent that will live with the girl? cant marry someone you dont really know and love,the marriage wont last long

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It's improper for parents to find wives for there sons, what happens to love/affection,only those guys that are not man enough that can accept that.

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I agree with you. Parents shouldn't be the one to select wives for their sons. It complicates issues because they will be expecting too much from the woman based on the fact that they are the ones that recommended her to marry their son.

http://www.yourchristianzone.com

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I think it is better for the man to find a wife for himself, Bible says when a man find a good wife, never said when a man's parents find am iyawo, the man will be the one to live with the woman, so better to use ya own hand kill ya self.

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