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Thinking About Divorce?: Read This

For all those Married, Dating or thinking of marriage out there!!!

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.  Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?  I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!    

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our  marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to Dew. I did'nt love her anymore, I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.  The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.  I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.  Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I did'nt have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.  I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.  She requested that in that one month we should both struggle to live a normal life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she did'nt want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me.  But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning.  I thought she was going crazy.  Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.  So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest, I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.  For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.  I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin,  that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, , she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said,  Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.  My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I had'nt noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead.  Do you have a fever? She said.  I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.  My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.  Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.  It is not the   mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah, blah, blah.   These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.  So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.  Do have a real happy marriage!

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25 answers

This woman just demostrated what yoruba will say MO JOKO TI ERU MI.

Must you psycologically trumatised her to tell her she should value marriage?

www.naijamarriage.com

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Thanks to the wisdom and patience of the lady. Women will always be in control if they know the right button to press. Some women would have started abusing, cursing and fighting all at the same time. Married women should note that the lady outside would always try to treat your hussy better than yourself. The solution is to outshine the lady outside and get back to that first love, care and intimacy you once shared together.

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fairytale but still a touching story.

the vast majority of couples do go ahead with their divorces once it gets to that stage, i should think.

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This is so lovely. So glad the story had a happy ending.

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Aww. This is so lovely and touching.

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so what happen to DEW? heart broken? ol boy u could have married Dew as ur second wife abi?

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so what happen to DEW? heart broken? ol boy u could have married Dew as ur second wife abi?

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So touching,wether it was culled or not,its a lesson to everyone married or unmarried, keep up d good work.

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Well folks, aside from politicking on Nairaland, I'm happy I could make some people cry some. Tears of joy, fear, pity or what? Well, I wish and pray that every marriages should last till death part either of the couples. The writeup was culled, like[b] naijacutee [/b] rightly said. Not my experience.

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thats so nice.

how i wish most people actually took that time off to really do these things.

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Culled - "Taken from"

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Nice one.

Really thought provoking. Little things do matter.

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@ damoche, you make me laugh. Firstly i wasn't talking to you. Next, i guess you should understand what my post meant. I wanted to clarify stuff and if you're not intelligent, please don't reply me, cos i see you can only make dumb statements.

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@ damoche, you make me laugh. Firstly i wasn't talking to you. Next, i guess you should understand what my post meant. I wanted to clarify stuff and if you're not intelligent, please don't reply me.

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Divorce dose not always have to do with another man or woman

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It doesn't matter. The gospel here is: Spread the News so that others could know, learn and benefit. The post is heart-warming and very good to men who are contemplating divorce. i love it.

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American here, what is culled?

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Shut ur mouth up,domino baby or watever u call ur name.even if was culled,wats ur problem?it was a beautiful story and am sure it will touch any rational human being.lets be careful of wat we say.negative comments like yours take the shine of good threads like this.i am expecting your harsh reply just to prove me right that you have a negative mindset.am waiting.

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Loq. Anabel, that isn't the poster's story, it was culled . . . .

Nice piece though.

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Hey ya, tears actually dropped my eyes. Guys too cry. I love this.

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This is very touching,it actually brought tears to my eyes.

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thats really a nice one

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