Sometimes when dueling couple attempt to fix their rocky marriage, they resort to a 'neutral' third party. At times, it may work, but often times, a backlash may ensue, because, the secrets binding the couple has now been revealed to a third party. I can recall an interview granted by Dr. Tokunbo Dosumu (Awo's daughter) to Quality magazine of the advice that her father gave her prior to her marriage. He told her that she should never bring in a third party in her marriage. Ok, I was stunned by her admission. Along that line, my mother's servant repeated the same line that never would she intercede in any marital squabble because you are bringing trouble upon yourself. This sagacious woman told me of a couple who fought each time the wife was pregnant, and dare anybody intercede. The third party would be beaten up by the dueling couple, and at the same time, they would solve their marital quanta.
Unlike the USA, where such barbaric act usually necessitates the presence of the cops from a vigilant neighbor or bystander, in Nigeria, who sai? Marital quanta is sometimes strictly off limits. So for some of us, who have resided abroad and do know the lasting repercussions of a marital dispute (case in point, the wife may be beaten to death by the enraged husband, or the man's head may be bludgeoned with a pestle , yeah, it happens.), would you intercede?
Agony aunts in America would definitely refer the victim to the services of a shelter, but in Nigeria, sometimes the woman would be told to bear with it. WE have read some African novels where this practise is endorsed by our customs, and I have even read that about a woman who would be sent packing by her mother each time she returned home from a marital dispute with her husband. So, while we are now endowed with the mentality that squabbles can be solved without the use of fists, would you still brazenly intercede in a marital dispute in Nigeria, involving your next door neighbour, or would you just accomodate this practise, because it is none of your business?