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What Are The Issues You Discuss During Courtship ?

What are the issues you discussed with you husband when you were in courtship or with your spouse now you are in courtship?

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Nice thread.. Learning so much.. Thanks @OP for this topic..

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wrappers? most women nowadays don't go anywhere near wrappers. except traditional wear, and even that one is geared towards the older women like you said. wrappers can be so unflattering. i don't even remember the last time i went near one. but come o, if you want your woman to stay sexy and whatnot after marriage, it should be a joint effort. no be say na only her go dey stay trim. don't be carrying around a bear belly and expect your wife to still be looking like halle berry. go the gym together.

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Yes,

It's something that I have noticed in most peoples marriages. After the first child is born, most women just let themselves go. They become annoying fat and also lazy. I really do not want to cheat on my wife so it would be to her advantage to stay sexy and hot. She has to give me a reason to want to come home every evening and hit that for the next 50 years.

So you see it's important that such things are made known during the courtship period so as to avoid the drama later in the future.

It's just like davidylan said. no wrappers 24/7 around the house. I want my wife to look good all the time. save the wrappers for old age.

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you dont "put it to her", that is like commanding her to stay slim or else.

The type of woman she will turn out to be in 40yrs can be gleaned from the type of woman she is now.

But it does help to let her know what you expect of her.

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Its not a matter of culture . . . no one wants a fat slob around the house. You bet i will be snooping around to see if she is bingeing on junk foods.

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actually I should have included that a big beer gut should be satisfied with a banquet on request.

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oh I forgot to mention the dress sense bit. How woudl you put it then david "do you think you can always dress trendy and be sexy and turn me on?" even when you have about five kids to take care of, you better still be quite hip, slim, and sexy! talk about the whiteman!!!!!!!!

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So u mean in your culture its quite okay for you to put that comment to your fiance ie hey honey do u think you will eat junkfood and get fat? do you think you will always remain as appetising as you are today?

So I take it its the norm to put these sort of questions to ones finace?

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e.g is she the type that is going to lose herself after marriage, splurge on junk foods and get fat while tying wrappers around the house.

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ess, can u please explain weight issues and dress sense please and how this is so relevant to courtship.

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Thanks you all for your response.

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1. No of kids

2. No joint accounts

3. Kids names

4. Will she work or not

5. Visitation rights of family relatives

6. Sex (Frequency,positions and toys)

7. Late Nights

8. Medical history

9. Bills

10. Where we hope to be , time from now

11. Infidelity

12. Weight issues

13. Dress sense

14. Fears

15. Dreams

16. Likes and dislikes

erm,

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discuss any issues on this earth

altar call experience

no of kids

hw to fund the kids education

what business to do 4 more income

her menstrual period

discuss dream,visions,aspiration

discuss who will be mentors, counselors

discuss hw long to stay in a rented apartment

and pray

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don't forget how you will both raise your future kids, for example, everyone's idea of discipline is different. i will make sure i lay it out to him that my children are precious, therefore, not to be beaten like goats when they do something wrong. in my opinion, beating a child does more harm than good, especially a female child. its a big NO NO! if you can't discipline your kids without giving them bulala (switch/cane), then you need help yourself. i know there are some kids that don't hear word, but a little smacking is ok, but not beating them like donkeys!

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That's it. . . All said!

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so wat do u discuss wen u guys are dating and u dont mind getting married to each other though u v started off as boy/girlfriend?

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Wedding and honeymoon

Children

Employment

Place of residence/type of plan--double masters bedroom/double closet spaces.

Plan for the future/finances/budgets

Household chores

Dealing with relatives and friends

Choice of next of kins --  chosing at least 3 sets just in case----

Vacation spots

Familly doctors and Pedriatricians

Type of family cars

Health history and genetics

Food choices

Diet and exercise

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In my own little opinion, this is the time that all cards are on the table, be Unclad to your partner, everything must be put on the table.

So that if anybody  or anything crops up in the future nothing will meet him/her by shock, he or she would even laugh about it and say he/she already told me or I am already aware.

Trust is what you discuss, or how to build it, children(if you are planning to have any etc) finances , investments , work, spiritual life. foods, likes and dislikes., cleaniness.

To be honest with you, you may need to find a christian book that discuss Courtship and marriage and both of you to read it and discuss things.

In marriages, there are constant that can make or break marriages

1. communication

2.Trust

3.Finance

4.Care and attention

5. Sex without being used as bargaining tools from women in particular (sometimes some men-though more of emotional punishment with men)

6. Above all prayers to every situation

I wish every bachelors and spinsters who are on this ladder best of luck.

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for serious minded people who know what they want for themselves,they are to plan and discuss life both in the present and future tense coupled their individual basic priority that could help boost their marrital life.Most importantly,they should endevour they are truely compatible before setting up a marriage date.Good luck to you all.

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Remember that courtship isnt the same as boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.Here you hope to be heading for marriage.My advice is , Do not pretend, Let him know your likes and dislikes, your desired family size,where you both will fellowship, the location you guys desire to settle in, your future ambition and projections, relationship with inlaws and friends, finance management in the home, sharing of duties, plans for leisure etc

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@afolayangs

Thanks for your contribution.

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issues like family background

ur pass lover(s)

And everything good or bad that 've done

Treat each other as brother and sister and disclose things

u can't even share with ur mum

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but in the topic its say the word discuss. So when youre thinking of marryig a lady would you put it to her that she should remain sexy etc and not get fat?

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