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What Will U Do If Ur Husband's Mistress Calls U With His Line?

What will u do if u recently got married, with a 5months old baby and ur husband went 4 a business trip and hasn't called u 4 2wks, and then one night, ur phone rings and u see its ur husband calling, then u pick up the phone expecting him 2 apologise 4 not calling u 4 a long time, but instead u hear a woman's voice and she is calling u a Dam, that u shld stay away 4rm him, ?

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51 answers

@Omalichanwa

I want you to take things easy with your self and don't start regretting because it will do you no good.

That Lady (mistress) must have picked your husband phone to call you just to arouse emotional truama in you without your husband knowing.

Relax.

Make sure you treat your husband good, as you have always done. Let him into it that someone used his fone for such.

Pray for God's help in your marriage and then concentrate on your studies.

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ABEG JUST PASS DEY GO OH, E NO CONCERN YOU!

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@skyspirit

I want to know, Are you married? How old are you?

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^^I can't possibly just pass when I see a child wallowing in his folly my dear, it's morally wrong. But u know wot? I think i've lost hope in your redemption, your case is irredeemable, Cos u're finished,  2 bad.

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Common shut up your lousy mouth, if you have just passed like I advised your one leg wont have been connected in this matter. I would surely see the psychiatrist after your useless backside has been attended to, kindergarten grow up!

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^^^@ skyspirit I feel sooooo sorry 4 u young man. U ought to be ashamed of urself, bt instead u r priding in your stupidity. It's such a huge pity. eee yah kpele. But pls be sure to visit a psychiatrist.

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You dont have 2feel bad, if u read through the threads, you would observe that I merely gave my candid view in response to the initial post. Then mimicole or whatever she calls herself attacked me. Then Outstrip joined her 1 leg in the matter. I replied Outstrip, because if she talks to her husband in a derogatory manner & he tolerates it, it doesnt mean other men would do same.

I equally warned that buffoon called mimicole to just pass when next she sees my post, without replying her insult yet she took my silence for weakness & continued to attack me. Well, I dont belong to the group of people who go about looking for trouble & abusing people unnecessarily, but I would reply any offensive post whenever it becomes necessary.

Regret inconveniences please.

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@ Sky spirit: I am really disappointed at ur choice of words in this forum.

Are you a married man? If so, I wonder how u treat ur wife.

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^^^^^^^^Yes take charge of your marriage and see how things will turn around.

I was in deep mess in my marriage until I opened up on NL, I got some very useful tips which I applied

and since then my marriage took a new turn. Many people that contributed on my thread have given u quality advice, please take heed and make ur marriage work.

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@ topic

I'm just so amazed at the guts of that glorified mistress.

Well girl, its really up to you. Either you want to play the victim or you are ready to take charge of your marriage.

I think you should go for the later- take charge of your marraige.

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@ sky spirit u need2 do somtin abt ur name quickly,it ought 2 be sick spirit,silly spirit,u know somtin in dt line. Pls what are u doing in d family session wt ur dad's PC, are u sure u're above 15? Don't go arnd insulting doz fit 2 be your parents, go bk and finish your homework or u'll never leave d bottom where u currently are in class ok, be a good boy n stop fooling arnd. Jeez!! U really got dem here on NL. **shakes head**

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@ Omalichanwa,

Quit thinking like a victim!

Who says you cannot have your soul back?

Who judged you and what for?

Please you need to wake up from your slumber and stop seeing yourself with that victim-mentality of yours. If you believe that you can pull thru then you will. Whether your husband is chasing everything in skirt solely depends on you.

What is the state of your home? Is your home a safe haven where your hubby can come to after a long day at work? Are you able to provide for your husband physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual nourishment? What values do you add to him as your hubby?

You need to use this period for evaluation. What have you been doing wrong before, what attitudes have you been putting up that are repulsive to your man. Does your hubby still find you attractive or not?

How supportive are you to your hubby? Although you have not revealed much about your home, I strongly sense that a lot still needs to be done by you.

Please stop thinking about love potions or bewitchment. Why don't you start thinking about ways to captivate your hubby such that he would not even bear the thots of leaving you for someone else.

Woman, the ball is inside your court.

Finally, there is no battle you cannot take to God to fight for you.

All da best!!!

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^^Don't be a Fluid!

My replies has nothing to do with this awkward if not bizarre topic. . .

What kind of a brain comes up with a discussion like "What would you do if your husband's mistress Calls you with his Line". . .

It's Called telling the fact. . .

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Okay Mama gee, how about we discuss this wonderful topic? http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-435450.0.html.

Oi listen, just shut up!

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Mama gee, isn't it funny how you can 'judge' which topics should be discussed as your comments are hardly ever in line with any topic of discussion?

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Pls pple, never marry just to escape 4rm hardship, pray that God helps u 2 be succeed by ur hard works. I have 3 fancy cars, i have too much material things much more than i ever thought i'd have but my husband have no respect 4 me, i dnt even think he loves me. I have suffered alot in this marriage, both physically and emotionally bt i cnt leave now becos i have sold my soul, i have been judged and now i must pay the price.

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@ Poster,

When your husband travelled, why did you have to wait for him to call you? You should have kept in touch consistently knowing the type of person he is.

For how long did he tell you that he will be away? Does he know that you know about the "other woman?"

How did you respond to the call from the other woman?

Wow, lots of questions to be answered. God bless your marriage.

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Nope, he will make her his second wife once both of you get friendly.

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my dear d real problem is u husband leavin 4 2wks is d real problem not d call 4rm d oda woman. any responsible husband will call 4rm his location on arrival and regular intervals. he is accountable to u by virtue of ur marriage to him. even i am sure if neighbors travel dey call to check in once in a while. he shuld realise say no be him get himself. ur marriage has much deeper issues dan d cheating.

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For some people marriage is the surest way to heaven so they aint having a laugh

Unless you've been to a soothsayer and they told you as much and you believe it.

It's your life after all but a miserable life is no life at all

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In that case there is really something wrong somewhere, like somebody already pointed out.

On a final note, don’t make a man to pity you in any form of relationship or marriage. There should be love and make him to continually love you not to pity. Relationships and marriages based on pity don’t last whether it’s the lady pitying the guy or vice versa.

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Oh be quiet. Honestly do you even have a heart. It is so obvious from your post that

you are either a horrible husband or you will make a horrible one.

@ poster you have to make your husband see that you are not a fool because he

obviously takes you for one. How can he possibly leave you with a baby for so long

and not call. The age difference, the fact that you are entirely dependent on him tells

me that he picked you out for those reasons.

I am not saying leave him now but I want you to start thinking independently and start

acting like an adult. You also need to handle the issue about the woman now. Do not just

let it go. It will not fix itself. Do not let him bully you out of him acknowledging that it happend.

You also need to make sure he uses protection from now on. There is no if and or buts about it.

Not only is he sleeping around but the woman or women for all you know have reached the

level of calling you.

As for your younger ones how old are they? You cannot sell yourself into slavery for your siblings.

Plan your life and empower yourself. Do it for you and your child. Set a good example

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A man leaves his family for weeks and doesn't call and the only time his number shows up is a woman's voice calling to tell his wife off and you guys say "be calm" ? He didn't even bother to call to know how his baby was doing let alone how his wife was coping alone.

How would you guys have reacted if it were the woman who did this? It's death sentence straight up!

Why are we so calm and 'understanding' of the wrong situations? I can even understand if she suspects her husband is cheating but holy hell for a man to be gone for weeks and not care about his family? What sort of man is that? Why would a man old enough to be her father treat a child like this? This is wickedness and he sure does it 'cause he knows she ain't going nowhere!

Someone said don't divorce your husband under any situation. You must be having a laugh for real!

Poster, if the man was so kind he wouldn't have married you just yet or never even. He could have helped you through school and sorted out your accommodation if you didn't want to live with your Dad. This man didn't have to marry you. Some men are good at spending on a woman but that doesn't equal respect. Some of them do it just to shield your mind from his wicked acts.

It is not acceptable whether your Dad is supportive of you or not. Stop acting like you're nothing without this man.

Anyway, let me ask you. Could you say you were happy with this man before this incident? Can you proudly testify that you've found happiness and not just a man to shelter and feed you?

Don't you have siblings, Aunts and Uncles who can help you?

Honestly dear, you might see the money, live in a nice house, wear nice clothes but underneath, your scars might be too many. If you really insist on staying in this marriage just fasten your seat belt, fix your shock absorber real tight and live your life!

There are certain things we can tolerate but not everything! Let's stop claiming to be the stup!d good wives that we claim to be all in the name of being married. There's more to this life than we make of it.

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For your husband to stay 2weeks without calling you shows you ve a problem

with him that you are yet to realize. His mistress has more information about you,

& she is acting based on what ills your husband would ve told her in confidence.

You are the real enemy to yourself, try to find out what he likes that your are not

doing for him & what he doesnt like that you are doing. Learn to massage his ego

& never tamper with his pride. Try to be friendly with his mistress, he will run from

her, I assure you!

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Becos i recently had our baby, we cldn't be intimate 4 a while, not becos i didnt want 2 bt becos the doctor said so and he was all willing 2 cooperate. If he was dat desperate, he shld've discussed abt it with me and not leave me all alone while he is out with other girls.

@ BB25 i tot as much.

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@ agitator, i didn't force myself on him. I never lived with him or move in with him until we got married. I didnt marry him becos he was rich but because he was kind, and was like a father 2 me. Shld i have said no just because he was rich? I never knw he was a cheat and i didn't even suspect he was cheating on me.

@ all, these days i just feel like this is where i can get friends that really care and wont be snickering behind me or gossiping abt my predicament. Pls talk to me more cos am so lonely and need some1 2 talk 2 inorder 2 maintain my sanity.

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@Poster, There's a great possibility your husband is not aware of the call the other lady which is why he just might be sounding ll charming and sweet.

I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.

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ladies thread?

for your information, most times there is no real love,  ladies just try by hook or crook to marry a man because he has money or they see him as someone to depend on financially.  After marriage they have to live with all the Poo from him.  I have witnessed it personally.

There was this girl about 19yrs, she followed her friend, who lives with the elder brother, home one day.  Along the way the girl told her that her brother is a womanizer, but on getting home the story changed, after about two days she came back home to meet the friend with her bro.  In two weeks time, she was living with them and even wanted to control the friend because she was now dating the elder bro.  To cut a long story short, she succeeded in driving out her friend from the house.  Later, she started seeing hell.  Babes will be waiting for him to return from work and later after changing cloths both of them will go out.

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Just follow the advice given by chaircover. She has said it all.

Sit your husband down and talk to him. There's nothing as effective as communication in a relationship. Personally, when I am offended that I do not air my greivances, I end up treating my man like poo. Cos am unhappy inside. But as soon as I let it all out, I feel good. And it most cases it works. My bobo behaves himself.

No matter what happens, do not shout at him or throw insults at him. It might be hard. But try hard to control your Tongue.

Lastly, develop yourslef further educationally. Get a job. Get active. Be happy. Move closer to God. Engage in church activities.

I have learnt never to allow a man play puppets with my happiness or future.

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I really feel sorry for your situation. I do not advise you to divorce your husband under any situation. It is hard but it does not solve anything plus you would just be giving up your home to the other woman. You alone know what you stand to lose. Rather I would advise you to calmly respond to this situation.When he comes home treat him well. Later when he's rested, and you've adjudged his mood, talk to him, ask him why he did not call and why he allowed another woman to disrespect you by calling you on his phone. No matter what happens try to be calm so you can actually hear what he says. His response should allow you to ascertain whats been going on.

After this, I advise you to concentrate on your studies, get a side business going (tell him you want to start a business and make him give you the funds. (Don't agree to nothing less). Also focus on trying to give him what he's looking for outside, even though sometimes no matter how hard you try, they will cheat. Nothing to do with you.

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Sad indeed but I do hope you find a solution that works for you and your baby best, I just don't think burying your head in the sand will solve the problem, confront it now so you know what you are up against, all the best!

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I have been thinking of my life and what i would do when i leave him but so far i dnt knw. My mom is dead and my father remarried and he is still having more kids, where would i fit in if i move in with them? My husband called this morning and he was all sounding charming even apologising 4 not calling 4 long, he didnt say anything abt the call,i didnt say anything myself cos i just wantd 2 cry, i just remember all the beautiful moments and i just cnt believe he wld hurt me like dat. He is coming back this wkend. Dnt knw hw 2 react.

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It's either you leave this marriage now or prepare to be unhappy and miserable for God knows how long.

This is the price you pay for marrying at a young age especially when the man is twice your age and when money is the main attraction. Please don't tell me you married for love.

I see why it's 'unusual' to walk out "because he cheated". Most women believe it's a man's thing. It is not. The minute you start believing this that's when you'll learn to say no to certain situations.

As for the baby, you can always find a man that will love you and your baby 'cause to be honest I don't think this your husband is ready to treat you like a wife and not a baby machine.

I hope he doesn't beat you too.

Take your eyes off money and do what is right. Money will come gradually.

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I would have said igore her but your husband left you and a five month old baby for two weeks without callig, thats bad. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start making a life for your self so you wont be dependent on him, he will always find a way to hurt you this will never stop, so prepare your self to be independent so when the time is right you can leave. If you have some money, start a small business even if it is buying and selling, start something .

All I can say is that dont give him the power to hurt you

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Sweetie, there's something very wrong if your husband can afford to not call you for so long especially since his phone can be used by someone else from that location

Sounds to me like there are much deeper issues at play here

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Better start praying for your family.

Every thing is possible with God.

Good luck.

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oh please lady quit being melodramatic wats love portion got to do wit this ?

you 've made it so obvious to that man dat he is your lifeline so why wont he take you for granted ?

he fends for you so ? he doesnt own you and shouldnt treat you like a spoilt trash can

stand up for your baby's sake pls get a per time job or sommin try and depend on yourself

trust me with independence comes power and peace of mind. . . . wen you start making your own money

and stop putting all your hopes on this man of yours he will respect you to an extent

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I think my husband has been given a love portion or he has been bewitched!

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Now i see why you would rather sit back and pretend it never happened,

I feel for you and ur baby, i really do

Have you tried sending him a text message? See if that'll gear a response from him,

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is this story really true?

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I am 23yrs old and my husband is much older. Am still a student, what do i do with my baby cos i dnt have dat much money. I dnt have any1, even my siblings depend on me. I have been all alone with my baby 4 3days and he still hasn't called. I just pray that it's just a joke,

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The man is indeed wicked, not worth the tears and drama he is about to put his wife through! SMH

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My sagely grandma (God rest her soul) once told me that if you can't stand being cheated on, don't marry a serial cheater. However, if by some bad stroke of luck you do, get out quick and fast. A man who does what OP describes here is not only disrespectful but also a very wicked man and I will not hesitate to initiate divorce immediately. That kind of man can kill without blinking.

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Poo what people think/say. am not telling you to divorce your husband, thats your decision

He definitely have no among of respect for you what so ever. And without respect there is

no genuine love. I think he wants to dump the divorce decision in your lap because he knows you

won’t pull the trigger. Meanwhile, he is free to be the serial cheater he is, all the while knowing that if

and when he comes home, you will accept him back with open arms as long as he makes you one of those empty promises.

some men are pathectic!

And for that Dam, the next time she calls, Tell the tramp to go f*ck someone else's husband

and get off your neck.

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Hw can i let my marriage go down the drain like that? What will i tell people? Hw can i bear the shame? Can i let another woman break up my marriage? What abt my baby? What if i just pretend like it didn't happen? Aren't all men naturally cheats?

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For me i think i will gather courage and say to her," i was actually going to call him today to tell him that our blood results are out, we are both hiv positive. So can u pliz pass my message to him." just to spite her but i will cry afterwards i wont let her or him know am hurt

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Did you marry him legally? If not, you better start worried! Hmmm,  are you sure you are his first wife?

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I would obviously be seeing red at the time, but I would take a laugh it off and calmly tell her to tell him that for his sake and for half of what his sorry Bottom owns it had better be a joke!

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