People are wondering why children lie. Do they do it on purpose? Why should not parents punish them for lies? You’ll find all the answers in this article in one click!
Children’s lie is a type of deviant behavior. Lying is a product of speech activity, which aims to mislead a person. Children lie as using it they get back good relationship, not through spiritual unity with people, but due to the apparent elimination of the conflict.
If a parent knows the truth, he asks a kid. The root of child’s lies is in an adult, who presents the child the choice. Facing a choice, initially the child shows courage, ready to return the unity between him and adults: he says about his lies.
‘If this test is repeated too often, it takes the severe forms, it has serious consequences for the child, child's soul does not stand up, breaks down and gives way to the field of action to reasons’.
If a child manages to deceive the parents, and the parents do not realize that seemingly there is peace. This peace is held on the inside of the remoteness between the parents and the child.
This situation is convenient to parents. The child is busy with his business, the parents - with their own. Nobody bothers anyone.
Lying child is the first sign of alienation between adult and child.
There are several types of children's lie:
1. ‘Justifying’. A lie which is necessary in some circumstances.
3. Bragging and exaggeration.
4. ‘White Lies’ - a lie, designed to defuse the tense situation or to bring pleasure to someone.
There are several ways of lying:
2. Blatant lie.
The motives of child’s lie are varied and they change with age. Each age period are characterized by their motives and reasons of the lie:
1. Age 3 - 4 years, when the child acquires the ability to go on a deliberate deception that may be caused of his wish to:
- avoid punishment,
- hide his guilt,
- express the hostility to the parents,
- achieve praise from adults.
2. Adolescence. Insincerity and susceptibility to the influence of friends in this period reaches its peak, so the motivations of lies in this age group are:
- protecting comrades
- improving the social status,
- protection of his privacy,
- the desire not to create an awkward situation,
- the desire for self-assertion,
- fear of humiliation or avoiding embarrassment,
- for checking his own strength.
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The word ‘lie’ in the different age stages of children’s life is understood differently. Until the age of eight children deny any false statement, regardless of whether the speaker knows that his words do not correspond to the truth or not. 12 years old children do not regard lies as an absolute evil. Lie depends on the circumstances.
As children get older, they will not only acquire the skills to successfully deceive others, but also learn to recognize when they are cheated. It is necessary to distinguish between a lie and a children's fantasy. This is especially true for children of primary school age.
Child can create fantasies because:
1. He feels deep trouble, tends to leave it and find a certain balance;
2. Unconsciously tries to make others be interested in him;
3. The crisis of the game. The game still plays an important role in a child's life, but it becomes a role-playing - fantasizing. The game turns into an inner fantasy of dreams and desires.
Lies can become a serious problem in the life of any family.
Dealing with children's lies
All parents face the real difficulties in raising children. Analysis of the motivations of the child to lie, will allow parents to understand the child better and help him to become more truthful. The manifestation of lies in children is greatly influenced by parents and persons, who have the authority.
Tips for parents:
1. Forget about the physical punishment.
2. Separate the punishment for a concealed lie from punishment for wrongdoing.
3. Specify your child the consequences of the lie.
4. Install the complete trust contacts with the child, so the child does not feel the need to tell a lie.
5. Tell a children's story about lies, which has led to some bad consequences.
If you have not yet learned to distinguish truth from falsehood ‘in the eyes’ of your kid, look for the simplest and most obvious signs of lies of a young child:
- child covers his mouth with his hand;
- he looks away or blinking hard, because he cannot look in your eye;
- his pupils constrict, then dilate;
- child is excited, his cheeks get blush;
- in order to make lie sound believable, he chooses his words properly, comes up with the details, speaks slowly and hesitantly, interrupting himself, makes long pauses between phrases.
But if the child believes that you love him no matter what, and he can always find understanding and a desire to help in the solution of his ‘serious problems’, his mendacity will remain innocent childish prank, thing of the past, and will not turn into a way of life.
Thus, the age characteristics, causes and motives of lie depend on who surrounds children, the nature of the relationships with parents, peers and teachers. Therefore, it is important to create an atmosphere of understanding, trust and patience as a communion in the family and at school.
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