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Why Do Most Women Maltreat Their Househelps?

I know a deaconess in my church, she starves her househelp.In the morning her househelp goes around begging people for money to feed,her househelp sleeps under the staircase,she doesn't allow her househelp sleep with her children.She doesn't pay her househelp's school fees.Whenever her children goes back to school,she would tell her househelp to sleep on the floor of her children's bedroom and warn her not to lie on the bed.Her househelp goes around with a torn school uniform.

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Suprisingly, those kids you maltreat turns out to be better than your kids in future. Tomorrow you might find yourselves in a situation where that child you treated so cruely would be your only saviour.

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Power and authority over someone else in such an intimate setting is bound to lead to some friction. Many women don't have control over anything or anyone but they people they employ. When powerless people find themselves in power, it can corrupt the best person with the best intentions. I am not saying all women are powerless, but some are.

Another issue is that sometimes employees do things to provoke or upset their employers out of jealousy, bitterness, or malice. They need to be handled firmly and fairly because they pose a detriment to the household affairs. Many house employees have limited education and need to be trained, but that does not warrant abuse, verbal or physical.

When I think about the legacy of household servants in a variety of societies, abuse is a common trend. There may be something inherent in human nature like "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." I think a psychological approach may do more to solve the mystery than a condemnation of the women.

Try to be patient, fair, and understanding to women in the house and workers in the house. Everyone deserves respect.

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Not all women maltreat househelp. Like most Nigerians the help are the cause of high BP. You just have to be fair and firm. They will interpret this as harsh sometimes.

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Oops! Posted in the wrong section.

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This is a hard topic I must say,although you will see people commenting,

by going against those that do it,but the honest truth is that, if you bring

100 percent of women who have house help,95 percent of them Mal-treat them.

I could remember years back when i was in Abuja ,I saw lot of bad things

which this Rich women does to their house help.The funny aspect of it is that,

no one to rescue them.

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If you employ any girl or a boy as a housemaid, she or he will feel any harassment from you means you are wicked to her Most house maids feel you’re not supposed to shout on them even when they’ve gone wrong. For so doing they feel you hate them or you’re wicked because they believe you’re not their mother. I have experienced it with even my cousins that came to stay with me. I take good care of them, but once you shout on them, they’ll report to their mother that you’re maltreating them. But when their father or mother spank them, they’ll see nobody to report to. You may be enduring or decide to ignore some of their silly behavior but once you decide to call their attention to the awful they’ve been doing, they’ll report to their mother that you’ve started being wicked and I notice some mothers usually agree with all the information coming from their daughters. E.g you’ll send a girl for an errand that suppose to take 5-10minutes on the same street, she’ll go for 2hrs. In fact it’s really annoying. For me I don’t refer to them as a house girl, I take them as my relatives cos I believe we are all one in Christ. Most people here will not really understand. I believe it’s working mothers with little kids that can really tell this story better, not mothers with grownup children, cos I believe if you have a grownup child of like 14 up, he or she should be able to carry out some house hold responsibilities /care for her younger once. I have 7 5 & 2+yr old kids and I am a working mother, I know what I go through with maids. I don’t spank my maids cos if you do, your children are in danger, so I don’t want my kids to feel inferior living in their own house in my absent because of one housemaid excuses that I spanked her. I try to over look things, but that doesn’t mean I would not correct/advice her if she goes wrong.

Just like @Afribiz rightly mentioned above: quote

Most of them are too greedy that they'll go about begging for food, even after eating at home, telling everyone that cares to listen that they've not had any food to eat since yesterday.

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Haba, you dey vex?

Most of the time, some househelps are even distant member of the family that has a father that is poor to take care of her or him, and cos the lil lad is living with the Uncle or the Aunt, the made the poor lad do all the work and become a househelp, and yet wit no pay, but cos they give them some lil food.

i think a nanny should be encouraged and with the description of duty, add house works

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Ndipe i agree with you. house help should be abolish. if you want someone to take care of your chores and home, get a grown up.

those family who use little children as househelp should be hanged!

they think they are rich! if they are that rich and want to show off their wealth, why not get a mature person to do the work? yeye pple with spoilt children.

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LOL at deaconess! All those hypocrites that use church to shield their wickedness. Hissssss. They will stand and preach but they will never do what they tell others to do.

Nigeria is filled with too many of these folks who just go to church/mosque but learn absolutely nothing from it. They collect bribes, behead children for juju, torture their house helps, murder "infidels", burn down worship centers, rob the poor, molest their daughters, kill their relatives for juju money and shout "Hallelujah!". May God punish them all!

Thank God Fela exposed these zombies before he died. I miss Fela.

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Cos they wanna put some fear in them to make sure they dont go near Oga.

Also, the fear of Oga maddam, is the beginning of wisdom

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"Witch" can be a relative term which depends on a fair amount of credulousness for validity.

Child abuse can turn a victim into what a society can choose to call witchcraft.

Some slaves in the Americas attempted to poison their white masters. Some were successful while others werent. All could be termed witches since they were using unseen ways of getting revenge.

what about men who sleep with the housemaids? Whats your take on that kind of sexual harrassment which goes unpunished, and even if discovered, the victim still gets blamed?

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But honestly, there are stories of maids who are witches and wreaked havoc in the family of their oga. That one no be lie.

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I have to agree househelps are a form of slavery.

and why wont they misbehave when they're not happy and dont see any good prospects for their future. Not to mention the way they're constantly reminded of their second class status in society. Always the outsider looking in on the "superior" family.

Many of them are branded as witches- but do you know what kind of abuse they went through before being brought over as househelps. Or while they were househelps. Things they must have experienced but couldnt tell anyone.

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For the fellow who called their housemaid a 'slowpoke', why didnt you simply send her home? At first, I was way too ignorant to realize that housemaid in Nigeria is slavery, until I moved to the USA and thought about it. Look at it this way. You are an employee, you work for your boss for 40 hours a week, and get paid at the end of the week with 2 days off. But a maid back home works seven days a week for peanuts. That is unacceptable and a gross service of injustice. Tell me, who would willingly accept that? If I am to move back home, believe me, this is something that I would want the government to tackle from the roots. I blame poverty and ignorance, just yesterday, I was reading an old edition of Tell Magazine. On the cover was a picture(s?) of little kids hawking their goods on the streets, and I did point that out earlier that it's child abuse.

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I think the question here should be :Why do most househelps maltreat their boss.

I've seen many cases of househelps being unduly/unnecessarily wicked, doing so many unimaginable and absurd things in and out of the house. Tell me, how do you want the madam to treat such a househelp?

Most of them are too greedy that they'll go about begging for food, even after eating at home, telling everyone that cares to listen that they've not had any food to eat since yesterday.

I always advise women close to me to send such househelps back home cuz people will only see the maltreatment, and won't believe the level of atrocity being committed by the househelp.

I don't have any househelp for now, and i pray to get a good one when I'm ready. God help us.

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I agree with u guys to some extents.

Some househelps are dumbos, 1yr old child may behave wisely than some of them.

Some of their behaviour may tempt u to even call them witches. . . how wld u treat a female househelp that abuses your 8yr old boy sexually? it's a horible thing to behold!

Some madams/Ogas are simply cruel to them without cause and it's simply unjust.

Sack them if you can't cope before u become the bad one in the picture.

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@ Crackles

How/when does anyone deserve to be maltreated??

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Best solution rather than resorting to maltreatment which will eventually lead to them getting sent away!

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Topic

The trend is sort of standard and i dont agree with it one bit

Some househelps deserve to be treated like poo but at the end of the day, it is not the right thing to do!

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If there is a NAPTIP office around you, go and report her case. Its your responsibilty too since you know.

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http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-10441.0.html

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If that woman was a deaconess in my church I will definitely say something to my pastor and f they let her be a deaconess inspite of her wickedness I wll leave that church. You have nothng to teach me when you let your ordained ministers wreck such havoc on people. Bunch of hypocrites.

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U should ask yourself, what would u do in such a situation? If u had a housegirl, would u treat her well? As for me, I will always show respect to other people's children bc I fear God! And I don't really think I'd like to keep a maid, no way.

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