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Why Would Your Parents Disown You?

Every parent has a breaking point. What's yours?

What would it take for your folks to disown you?

Prostitution?

Partaking in Indecency?

Teenage pregnancy?

Drugtaking?

Premarital sex?

Homosexuality?

Getting arrested/going to jail?

Throwing a house party (without their knowledge or consent)?

I still haven't figured out my folks' boiling point.

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49 answers

Having child without wedluck.

Happened to me.

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HABA, PEOPLE ARE MISS UNDERSTANDING THINGS

THERE IS NO WAY UR PARENT OR RELATIVES CAN DISOWN U, THEY CAN ONLY IGNORE U

WE HAVE FORCE RELATIONSHIP AND CHOICE RELATIONSHIP

FORCE RELATION IS BY BLOOD WHILE CHOICE IS BY PERSONALITY OF WHAT U WANT.

U CAN DISOWN ANYONE OR EVERYONE IN A CHOICE RELATIONSHIP BUT, BUT, BUT, U CANT DISOWN ANYBODY EVEN THE BADEST IN UR BLOOD LINE AT ALL.

REMAIN BLESS

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I'm a 20 year old female I live on Long Island when I was eighteen my parents evicted me from there home and disowned me. I havent seen them in over two years. My mother drank almost everyday of my life and my father was so into my younger brother I could never be who they wanted me to be. I use to get hit a lot by them both and also my younger brother who is much bigger then me being a football player and all. He was the star of his high school football team and my father seemed to love that. I never did fit in at school. The day I left my mother hit me, fed up I hit her back and then my father had me arrested for harrasement assault. Me in jail!? I'm a 5'3 113 lb girl quiet for the most part afraid of getting into any kind of trouble and here I am sleeping in a jail cell. My life has changed I'm very determined though. I work full time and go to college full time. Though I still feel troubled. I cry a lot and think about suicide. I don't think I would ever kill myself and I feel so guilty for even thinking that way sometimes. God has given me this presious life and here I am saying I want to die. I feel selfish. I really don't have many people in my life. I don't have friends, I don't know why. I have a boyfriend who has been there for me through all of this but he has his own family. He has a great family a wonderful mother and a good relationship with his brother. I do envy him sometimes. Growing up my mother was hardly a mother to me. I feel cheated. I know there are a lot of people out there who think I am troubled but what am I suppose to do. I try to stay strong and no one seems to notice. I really feel so alone. I've never heard of this happening to anyone else. So why me? Was I really a bad kid that my parents could go the rest of there life without me?

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I can't figure out how to cite the quotes the way you guys do. Hopefully someone can show me how. Anyway, it seems to me that lots of people can think of acceptable reasons for their parents to disown them (whether or not it is likely to happen), but few can think of acceptable reasons to disown their parents. Why? Cos they brought us into the world. Is that what makes someone a parent? What choice did we have in that? Why are we expected to accept practically anything our parents do, and to do practically everything THEY want for a choice that THEY made (i.e., bringing us into the world). I am Nigerian, (half-Nigerian anyway). I grew up there and I am familiar with the culture. I also have children of my own. However, I believe that I am more responsible to my children than they are to me. I CHOSE to bring THEM into this world. The first was unplanned, and while the other was, I was still too young to know what the hell I was doing. Either way, they had no choice in the matter. So, I owe THEM the best life I can reasonably give them, not the other way around. At the very least, I should do the least damage possible to them. If I did fail to be a parent, and not simply an inseminator, and particularly if I abused them significantly in any way, while it might hurt significantly if they disowned me, I would certainly not be surprised or fault them for it.

Happy New Year, everyone.

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my parents cannot and wud never ever dream of disowning me and same here too.

yes ,we do fall out,they might have wronged me and i have wronged them too but we forgive each other and move on.for crying out loud,they are my p-a-r-e-n-t-s.i became a being today cos of them,they are a positive force in my well being so its unthinkable for me or them to dream of disowning.NO way.

so poster back to your topic,i have no reason to disown my parents.

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Re: wendymanda's post: WHat has your parents done. I boy divorced his father for killing his mother so he can be independent at 15 years.

I did not want to go into specifics, otherwise I would have. Several people who know me use this website, and I do not want them to know until February 16th, which is when I'll tell my father. The reasons are a lot less clear-cut than something as obvious as murdering my mother, but it started with something that happened to me at a young age, and it involves prolonged and severe emotional trauma, neglect, manipulation and invalidation, physical abuse (yes, I know that is very controversial), and his constant excuses and a refusal to admit any wrongdoing despite the severe damage it did to me, and an unwillingness to put any significant effort into righting the wrongs of the past. I know this sounds vague, but I can assure you that the specific incidents would be considered traumatic by most people. I can forgive and not hold the past against him. To a large extent I have. However, I will not continue to have a relationship with him since he cannot admit to any wrongdoing or put any effort into our relationship.

Once again, I was wondering if there are reasons, apart from the obvious of course, which would lead others to disown their parents.

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I don't want to find out how near the edge of parental disownment is.

WHat has your parents done. I boy divorced his father for killing his mother so he can be independent at 15 yrs.

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I have a similar question. I was actually searching online for reasons to disown one or both of your parents, and it led me to this discussion. I am very seriously considering, and most likely will disown my father. I don't need approval or validation, but I was wondering if others have any valid reasons why they would do the same, and what they are.

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dey will never ever ever disown me, lil princess

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i think its get pregnant men! my father would kill me but my mum would never do that

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Long time ago there was a group of people that were selected to be the servants of the gods.

These people were outcasts . It was not allowed to marry them or befriend them . and you are born one. That is if your mother or father was one.

There are no gods they are serving these days. And many of them do not even know what its all about. But people have carried this Tradition out to this day.

There is nothing wrong with them.And they have done nothing.

The only mistake they made was being born into the family they are born into.

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DAMN that EXPLAINS this whole notion. Thanks for clearing it up badman

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Josboy, did you not read Things fall apart? anyways ogbanje are evil sprits.

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obanje is devil worshipper idol e.t.c

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@ TX

whats ogbanje? And is a leper not a human being with a disease of the body that can be fixed?

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Don't mean to creep you out  my dear, it's just our history.

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Thats why many parents might disown their children that marry ritualist or stuffs like that,

shawna dont be scared

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Osu are mostly lepers in those days or ogbanje ppl that could not be buried but left in the evil forest to die and decay

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so its a bad thing if u marry one of them?

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i dont think so as well

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I don't think the can be classified as OSU.

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yea they all basically the same thing

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secret cult in some places in 9ja

also refered to outcast

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Is Olumbe Olumbe a classified "osu"

mind my spellling oh, but those pplz in white garments and praying over speaker phone

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is the osu thingy still as bad as that?

let us move forward now

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lol im understanding some of that french

hehe so once time i told my mom i was thinking of going somewhere on a booty call and she said 'ehn, your father will kill you!'

she said it so seriously that i was afraid. anyway i know my mother will never disown me, as for my dad, i doubt it too, but i dont know for that man, he might disown me for having sex. f'real

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Most (Naija) parents would disown you if:

- You got preggies outside wedlock

- You marry from an Osu (outcast) family

- Indecency

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Non, je ne crois pas que j'ai déjà été en France. Y a moyen, bref chui pas sure. Lol! Tu vas tjrs a l'école?

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Je préfère ça q'hiver, mais bref, il fait trop chaud. J'veux même pas sortir de la maison! Je brûle!! J'ai envie d'aller en France. Les français (garçons) sont beau a ce qui parait.

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Oui. Il fait très chaud ici. Et toi, tè en France . . . quelle chance.

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retro t'é en belgique c'est ça?

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nope!! definately not too old!!

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@damygirl

Aren't you too old for that?

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my peeps will never disown me though they might threaten to do it but i know they will never actually do it. if i do the worst thing imaginable i will still be their daughter though they gon be hurt and might even smack me no matter the age

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get pregnant or drop out of skool

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not the least bit Surprising, i mean most ppl do

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Afeni, yes, he is. He's a terrible person. My mom on the other hand is Bahamian.

Rhodalyn, they are pretty scary. Most of the boys carry knives to school.

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Is your father Nigerian?

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Euh, my dad didn't go to jail. I want him to go to jail. It was a response to Afeni's post.

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Lol. I hate my dad so, I think he should go to jail for at least that.

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wow, that is terrible. I think people should be held accountable for what they say. If that means jail time, so be it.

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I sort of agree with them. I'm now sort of 'racist' towards them. Eww, I can't believe I dated one.

My dad's even worse, he took his car to the garage so he called a cab to take him to work. The driver was Arab, my dad said: 'I don't want no bleeping Arab driving me to work'. I felt bad for the driver but ----

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I don't think it is possible for my family to disown me. Besides, I don't go around looking for their approval before I do what I want.

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I have racist parents. Where I live, Arabs are violent, freaks, rude, dirty, disgusting, also, they are muslims. If my mom should find out that I dated an Arab, I'll be dead.

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If I should marry an Arab, my mom'll kill me then disown my body. My dad, well, I don't have a dad. My sister'll react like my mom.

NO ARABS IN MY LIFE

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hopefully, i don't do anything that'll my em disown me.

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Sometimes I think tat too, I haven't done anything to push them to the edge.

I think it's quite depressing that people would disown their kids for just being who they are esp. homosexual.

I believe in unconditional love that parents should have for their children- that's probably why I want to know why anyone would treat their children with such contempt.

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That unconditional love a parent has for their kids shouldnt push them to the extreme of disowning their kids. That just doesnt sound right. I used to think my mum can disown based on my preference. But NOPE, i was surprised!

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