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Wife Tears Husband's Clothes,husband Beats Wife-who's Wrong?

A friend of mine (pregnant) and her husband got into a heated argument. In the course of the argument, Man brushes her aside (granted,not smoothly). He apologises to her, and goes to take a bath to cool off. As he leaves the bathroom, His wife tears his boxers of his waist! iin front of the househelp and kids. He is terribly embarrased, and he picks up a towel and she snatches the towel off him and leaves him standing Unclad! He tries to run into the room but she blocks him and pushes him roughly. of course the husband (who is normaly really hot tempered) proceeds to beat her!

Now, I'm a gal, I wont stand for any man, (born by beast, man, or both) to lay a finger on me in this life, or the next even!especially when i'm pregnant.

However, I dont think I will tear my husbands clothes and leave him in all his glory infront of my kids and the househelp! My friend is normally even headed, and so is her husband even with his temper. I have no idea how they came to this. But I honestly feel that she was wrong in doing that to him. I think its only grace that can stop a man (or even a woman) from attacking anyone who does this.

Granted,no man should beat his wife, but should a wife also provoke her husband? He's only human and there's so much he can endure!

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34 answers

if you dont want their marriage to collapse, they better start doing some talking and soul searching as to what they both want from the marriage.

The wife needs to learn how to behave like human and not expose her husband to just anyone and his unclothedness.

The husband needs to learn how to listen and pay attention to his wife.

The husbands needs to find other ways to show his frustration instead of beating the wife.

they have have serious work to do

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I'm a gal!!! Well,like i've been saying,i guess i'm just being optimistic. both of them are close to me and would hate for their marriage to be unsuccessful.

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p.s, the beating wasnt a pumelling though.so the question of killing her doesnt really come in like dat.but if its any comfort to anyone, she won the fight. he has the bite marks to prove. i think it was more of him holding her down ( wiv occasional swipes sha).

I hope they look back at this and laugh at their stupidity.

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in my world, if any woman decide to put her hands on me she will suffer the consequences of her action BUT in the poster's case, the woman was pregnant therefore not in her right state of mind, confused, stressed out by the pregnancy and her "out of control hormones"(any man who has ever been through a pregnancy with a partner will know that) and therefore he should have walked away.

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that is what i think too, he could have walked away, cos i think in a fight btw man and wife, it is not a matter of who won, but all that matters is that at the end of it all, both would have been able to say what is on their mind and then, sort it out.

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everybody has a threashold for anger. its easy to say all the 'walk away' or 'go for a spin' or 'listen to some music'! but why didnt she do that too? this is where both of them are wrong kinda. its possible that she too had reached her own point of no return. so,she pushed him out of no return. before any of you preach the whole walk away thing.just consider that everyone has a point where they just cant control themselves.

infact,me sef, I dont know which side I'm on.lol

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What the woman did was wrong, but also, the wife would have paid attention to what matters

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If she didnt want to get beaten up she should of stopped herself she went too far. Simple

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No matter how much your husband has frustrated you, or your wife has frustrated you, you need to find a better way to deal with issues, you need to find a way to deal with your anger and frustration.

As a man, go a spin and listen to some nice music that you and the woman used to love and that will remind you of all the good memories, as the woman, think about all the good things that attracted you to him and remember that it is not the man that doing all the nonsense, but the devil behind broken homes.

I dont know too much about marriage, and i will admit to that, but this much i know, the day a man beat a woman, that day, you have created a monster.

The day the woman tore the man's clothe out of anger, she had created a lion and now a lion and monster are best friends in same house and that will be sad.

All in the name of "no be today yansh dey back" we cant go ahead and follow same pattern, it has to change somehow and the changes can start with us all.

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please DO READ MY POST AND THE THREAD FULLY BEFORE YOU ANSWER OR QUOTE ME, it will save you time and you wouldnt need to write EXACTLY what i was saying.

as for self defense, you must be joking right? are you saying that this man had to beat his woman up to defend/protect himself? here is what he "could" have done: hold her down, gently push her away, walk into another room, leave the house, stay away from her etc. anger/shame/frustration made him do what he did, nothing else.

if you knew the LAW, you would therefore know that beating someone up because they tear up your clothes is NOT self defense.

SELF DEFENSE: Use of force is justified when a person reasonably believes that it is necessary for the defense of oneself or another against the immediate use of unlawful force. However, a person must use no more force than appears reasonably necessary in the circumstances.

get your facts right.

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I dont support the woman at all, i think a woman should give her husy some sort of respect.

Secondly the man apologized for what he did, she should ve just allowed put thing on hold,walk away and keep the discussion for later when the children re not present.

She really embarrased her husy and pushed him to the wall.Knowing her husy,she should ve known that she s pregnant and that what she did could result to getting anything in return from her husy since he's hot tempered.She called for it and got what she wanted.I dont support a woman daring her husy to know what he ll do especially when the man tries to avoid the trouble.she went too far abeg,

As for the man,i dont support him pushing his wife either cos shes pregnant,what if she slipped and fell, but he recognized he was wrong and apologized.she would ve let it go for Good or talk it over later .

They were both wrong but i think the husy tried to play mature but his wife pushed him to the wall!

Patience should be one of the virtues of a wife though its not easy anyway,

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Of course,we can all stand on our moral high grounds and say no man should ever beat a woman. . . . but please, dnt now provoke him to the point where he does that. Although this gives excuse to those men who terrorise their wives for no reason. But please, a woman and a man have lived in the same house for up to 5 years, he has never touched her b4 now. so that means the woman should know which bottons to press and what not. Its almost as if she knew what she was looking for.

Maybe he had really been fustrating her sha. one can never tell. like u've all said, all marriages have thier own issues.

and as for Ffhemmy, if you think this marriage is doomed,maybe you dont know  lot about marriages! no be today yansh de for back. they're most likely going to reconcile and use this as a reference to their lowest point! (am i sounding too hopeful?)

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FYI by law, what she did constitutes assault, and if she did that in public, she would be under arrest too. They were both wrong, but in this case I am afraid the woman takes the bigger share of the blame. The man can argue self defense!

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@chaircover

would you have done what the woman did?

@outstrip

remember the poster said they got into a heated arguement. Women have a tendency to rant and say things they wont even remember when they're angry.

The man should have known that pregnant women have mood swings. They can get angry for no reason at all.

If she wasnt pregnant and pulled this kind of stunt, i'd say she deserves some serious punishment which can come in any form the husband desires, but in this case, she has her "hormones over drive" as an excuse. So sad.

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The poster said that the man shoved her. I am sure it did not hurt physically but you do not put your hand on anyone. Shoving will become a slap tomorrow and a slap will be a punch the next. I say she went overboard with the stripping part but he put his hands on her first. I don't see how the behavior of either one can be justified but I definitely do not see from the story how the woman provoked it. The man actually did from this story.

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[left]One basic and unique difference btw d sexes is dat men have "balls", while women do not. Balls has often been seen to mean that a man shod be domineering. Far from that, it stands for a man’s ability to be in control; first, of himself. Granted, this is not easy, but can be done. It shld be done.

There is absolutely no excuse for a husband to beat his wife.

There are very many ways of heady a difficult woman & beating is not one of them. A man loses his respect and dignity. Usually, no matter what ur wife has done to u, beating her only brings u to her level, and d blame will be put at the man’s table. A man shld start above board. Usually, over time women even appreciate a man who uses other controlled means to bring a wife to other. Living with a woman requires insight, discernment, and lots of love and appreciation. You'll be surprised that over time, she’ll turn to become an obedient and submissive pet, and will quickly apologies when she occasionally misses it.

A truly powerful man does not need to use bruth force. This is d “information” age, not dark ages or “industrial age”.

It’s simply a lie, when people say some women actually want and love being beaten - unless the woman has some psychological / mental problems, and possible has not know a better life.

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She needed a single hot slap!

After ripping his pants off she should of stopped she went too far Im sorry.

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What lame excuses am I making? The truth is Both of them are wrong. I never supported the woman here, maybe u should read what I had written and try to understand it. I said though it is good a man should not hit a woman but in most cases, it is the woman that provokes such action. Most times, women are the ones that cause it being hit and and the man has no choice than to hit. So what don't you understand in what I said or what did I say wrong?

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Both are wrong. None is right. Even as a female, saying that no man should raise his hands on a woman, women most times provoke such reaction. Women are sometimes the cause of a man hitting them as that is the only way he can react, but even at that, it should not be supported and this case, both are wrong.

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The man pummelling his wife in this circumstance was in perfect order.I detest all these hypocritical talk abt 'a man shld not beat his wife under any circumstance',rubbish.Read thru the original post & tell me why a woman wld subject her other half to that type of shame.She'd be lucky if she remains in my house going forward.

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@ bolded

amazing isnt it.

Some couples do claim they've never quarrelled in their entire lives so maybe it can happen, though I dont see how. If one of them is spaced out all the time maybe.

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They are both wrong.

The man could have paid attention to her and all these could have been prevented.

The woman however has no right at all to have tore his clothes, the wife has no right to have made the man stood Unclad infront of anyone, talkless of the househelp.

I think that marriage is doomed, cos nothing the woman or the man say that can bring happiness back into such marriage.

The man shd't have beaten the woman at all afterwards.

He shd have walked into the room, dress up and leave.

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Like everyone has said. None of them were right, just complete asinine behavior.

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that was one of these moment where "super human strength to walk away" was needed.

the mere fact that she was pregnant should have been enough to make the husband steer clear of laying his hands on her (write it on a board and when she give birth, you can give her the beating accordingly if that was such a big deal) but he could have hurt the unborn child, she could have lost the baby let alone her life.

this was very irresponsible of the husband.

i dont buy the excuse that he was so upset thats why he did it. lets reverse it and say that it was his mother who did that to him (for whatever reason) do you think he would have beaten his mother too?!

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We all know the rules! but that's why I say it takes super human strength to 'walk away' or 'turn the other cheek' when somone leaves ur crown jewels bare! not only infront of children who'll prob forget,but infront of house girl who'll NEVER forget what Oga's 'ding-dong' looks like!

another part of me argues that for her to have done that,the wife too must have been pushed to the wall. but well,in the end, 2 of dem don chop shame na. . . I feel bad.makes me worry about marriage and what turns sensible people into betta morons!

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you are absolutely right about the above statement but you forgot a tiny important point:

1) there is absolutely no excuse for a woman to lay her hand on her husband

2) if you tear someone's clothes in public till the point that they are Unclad, you will be arrested and probably go to jail too

@poster

the husband should have known that pregnant women experience mood and anxiety problems due to their "hormone overdrive" which can affect their day to day sanity. the husband should have understood that and play it down accordingly.

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Well, most couples dont 'PLAN' to have quarrels in front of their children. somehow,i feel its easier said than done. dunno. . . sha. and as for simply walking away, he tried to do that but she wouldnt let him.

I just feel bad cos when she was giving me the gist, I couldnt entirely support her. cos i felt what she did was wrong. but some people feel that no matter what a woman does, a man should not lay a finger on his wife. I used to be of this opinion until I saw this case. I pray that I never push my husband (when ever he materialises) into doing this. I think i've changed my views to no man should beat his wife unless inhumanely provoked. not when she doesnt cook the 'eba' well, or she's always singing or some other silly excuse.if u want to rack ur wife,let it be for something u would have racked even mike tyson for!

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Oh and by the way, answer to your question. They were both wrong. Neither one of them were right! you got kids involved looking at their parents acting a damn fool. I cannot stand when adults have disputes in front of children.

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See, another case of provoking a man. I don't get why women always want to do that. Especially when you know that he's a violent or say hot headed man. That right there really burns me. She should even know better as she's pregnant. You cant push a dog up against the wall and expect them not to react. Its only nature when someone or something feels threatened. We are all human with emotions and feelings, its like i always said to my little cousin as she was growing up. If you cant take it, don't dish it out! I don't know why women do that.

On the flip side. I am not condoning his behavior. He should have simply walked away from the scene. Got his clothes and left the house until he cooled down. His wife is very vulnerable and pregnant. You should never beat a pregnant woman. You shouldn't beat women pregnant or not. He could have handled that differently. In fact they both could. Its called maturity.

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they both deserve each other.

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