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Would You Do A DNA Testing On Your Kids?

Among the Ashanti of Ghana, children are not recognized as their father's property, but trace their lineage through the matrilineal line. At first, I was that it was an absurd tradition. An interview granted by Nana Rawlings (she was then the first lady of Ghana) that trust was solely lacking in some marriages among the Ashantis did not even make sense to me. Dont get me wrong, I was a teenager then and had not been thrust into the world of betrayal and marital infidelities. I just thought it would be ridiculous if I grew up in Ghana, and then, bam, my father dies, and my mom, including my siblings were kicked out of the house.

As a grown up man, I can't fault their tradition, though I wont adhere to it. On the Oprah Winfrey show, some years back, she had on a guest who narrated a heart rending story to her. He was recently widowed with two daughter and a son, or so he assumed. His two adult daughters were in college when his wife announced that she was pregnant. Naturally, he was excited, an excitement that became intense when he found out that the foetus was a boy. Later on, she gave birth to a baby boy, but died months after her delivery. Devastated, the man told Oprah that it was the month old baby that saw him through the crisis in his life. A year or so later, he received a nasty letter from some guy telling him to return the baby, that it wasnt his. Dumbfounded, he made an investigation and the case landed in court. A DNA was taken and the baby was not his, his wife had cheated on him.

The man, still would not give up on the child he so much loved and the presiding judge agreed with him, so he had to share custody with the real biological father of his wife's baby. He told Oprah that the child sometimes seemed confused (he was past five then) and would ask him who the other man was that was coming to pick him up for visitation rights. Oprah asked him if he had told him the truth that the man was actually his biological father, but he shook his head. So, when he was asked again if he knew that his late wife had been unfaithful, he replied in the negative, but told her that upon investigation, the phone calls, and the trips she had undertaken all made sense to him.

I aint even going to ask any of you if the judge should award custody of the child to the biological father of this child, because I wouldnt (maybe an unpopular view, but I stick to it), but my question is this, would you perform a DNA test on your children?

Even the most confident men sometimes get edgy or even offended if a remark that "The child looks like their mother" is made. But in Nigeria chances of a woman conceiving a child outside the black race is quite slim because of our more than 90 percent black population. Abroad here with different mixture of races, hmmm, sometimes a child with a different color from the father is bound to raise suspicion.

I know I would do a DNA test on my kids, unless they are my spitting image. Heck, if I insist on a prenup, why would I not do a DNA testing on my , that those two are co-related, what will prevent an unfaithful woman from cleaning out her husband?kids? My supervisor at work told me that he wouldnt, because of the trust he would have on his wife, but he will insist on a prenup though. But these two scenarios are co-related, an unfaithful wife may still divorce the husband and take half of his property.

What do you think?

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33 answers

what's this about, can you explain, @ ndipe?

anyway, he should redo the test.

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Read about Idris Elba's reaction when he found out that his ex-girlfriend's child was not actually his son as he thought after telling people that he had fathered him. DNA proved him wrong.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/507707/20130920/idris-elba-reveals-desiree-newberry-paternity-test.htm

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the exception is not the rule.

if it were, then you yourself should start questioning your identity.

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HARTFORD, Conn. – Over the years, Eric Fischer had grown suspicious of whether he was really the father of his youngest daughter. So he secretly got a sample of the girl's hair, grabbed one from his own head and sent them to a lab for DNA testing. Sure enough, he was right. The girl was the product of an affair between Fischer's wife, Pamela Tournier, and her business partner, Richard Zollino. . .

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/02/connecticut-man-can-seek-payment-from-15-year-old-childs-real-father-judge/#ixzz1lNAYGgsE

The man is contesting for payment from the girl's biological father for taking care of his brood, and the judge has approved his request.

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In some parts of nigeria, children tend to have varied features and may not all look the same. This is a normal thing and possibly due to various levels of integration or immigration by unknown persons in the past. So, someone from that area who is going crazy wondering if the kids arent his (doesnt happen often i should think), might just be wasting his time doing a dna test.

In other parts of nigeria like the southwest, features run in families and most times its pretty easy to connect the child to a particular person somewhere along the line. In cases where it seems impossible to do so, then there might be a problem.

However, imo most of these things [as per thread title] are simply paranoia unless there's strong evidence to suggest otherwise.

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Another one:

http://www.diggersrealm.com/mt/archives/001246.html

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Mildred Baena's ex-husband had 'no idea' his son was Arnold Schwarzenegger's lovechild

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1390543/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-love-child-Mildred-Baenas-ex-husband-didnt-know-son-wasnt-his.html#ixzz1NJh2pal1

The ex-husband of Arnold's former housekeeper was kept in the dark on the paternity of the little tyke whom he thought was his biological son. And I would like to think that he trusted his wife so much that he never contemplated that she would cheat on him. Perhaps, this would be the reason why I dont blame men for insisting on having a paternity/DNA testing on their kids to ascertain if they are truly theirs biologically or not.

What d'yall think?

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Tell that to the likes of Paul McCartney who lost a significant chunk of his fortune to Heather Mills when she divorced him, due to his refusal to have her sign a prenup. While Mills was portrayed as a gold digger in the press, still, others may have wondered why he did not have her sign a prenup.

Still on the discussion of DNA, read this letter to an agony aunt.

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/abby/4550480-417/ex-wifes-affairs-prompt-doubts-about-paternity.html

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A prenuptial agreement brings you back to the same issue - trust. Unless you go into a marriage, with the thought of divorce on your mind, why would you need one? Are money and other material assets more important than your relationship with your wife and kids, should you have any?

If you're going to live in constant fear of your wife making off with your money and property, before it actually happens, you might as well remain single, than worry yourself silly on a daily basis. It's like buying a coffin for yourself, and maintaining a freshly-dug grave, "just in case you die".

I'm happily married, and love my wife. Should the unexpected happen, I would be more interested in trying to save my marriage, than claw back money and property. And if it can't be saved, then I wouldn't have any reservations about splitting our assets down the middle, and moving on with my life.

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which is why you shouldnt marry another a woman who wasnt meant to be your wife. once she is your wife, you are supposed to be best friends and without trust there is no relation.

on another side, if you were an Isoko man from delta state, u need not bother yourself about DNA because Isoko wives do not cheat and get away with it. Whether they r born again christians or not, an ancentral spirit called erin strikes her and she confesses. the bad part of it is that, the strike might begin by claiming innocent family members before she falls ill and starts to swell all over.

also, a wife in the house of an isoko man who is carrying another man's child might go into labour, but will not deliver the child if her husband is unsure who the father is. No joke. true.

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Someone just mentioned trust as the underlying reason for their decision not to have a DNA test done on their child. I also have to direct this question to them: Would you have your wife sign a prenuptial agreement before marrying her, or would you forego it, because of trust?

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13568.0.html

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Mr. Siena you don't belong on this thread. Your baby is your carbon copy!

But yes, you are right. Why get into a marriage where there is no trust in the first place.

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Why would I want to carry out a DNA test on my kids? If I can't trust my wife, then I wouldn't be with her, simple.

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DNA test result is out, and it is confirmed that one out of say three is not yours what do u do? DIVORCE or settle amicably with your wife ?

This no be joke matter o

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Read this story.

LOS ANGELES – A judge says it's too late for a man to contest nearly $200,000 in unpaid child support for a daughter who was likely fathered by comic Sam Kinison before he died in 1992.

Carl La Bove asked a judge to invalidate an agreement with his ex-wife that required him to make the payments.

Recent DNA tests have shown Kinison likely fathered the child born to La Bove's ex-wife.

Superior Court Judge Thomas Trent Lewis told La Bove during a brief hearing Tuesday that he was years late in contesting paternity and trying to nullify at least $188,000 in back child support. . .

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110329/ap_en_ot/us_people_sam_kinison;_ylt=Ap7IOezjYoBlxku5CKuzyWtxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTJtYmdiNGNxBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTEwMzI5L3VzX3Blb3BsZV9zYW1fa2luaXNvbgRjcG9zAzIEcG9zAzQEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yeQRzbGsDanVkZ2Vva3NzdXBw

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http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-259392.0.html

Read the above link on the man who so much trusted his wife, that he was unaware that she had stolen a baby, while faking a pregnancy and presented her to him as their daughter.

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@Ndipe, I see your point but isn't it better to do it openly than in secret? What if she finds out I did the test behind her back? No matter the result, she'll be very upset. I believe in clear, open, communication and will tell her of my concerns - but there has to be good reason. Example: if we're having an argument and she says something like "are you sure these kids are yours?"; if the baby's physical features are way off; etc. If she vehemently protests the tests, I'll only have more reasons to be suspicious.

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No, I will not put DNA test on my kids no matter what. Because I know who is the father of children at the time we were married and I got pregnant whole time.

Now I am single divorced mother for 14 years; therefore, no need for DNA testing on my kids.

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@Richyblack, so you will consult your wife, before taking the child for a DNA testing. Tell me, how can you even broach such a sensitive subject with her which borders on trust? You will be at the losing end if the result shows you are the father and you could pay big time for you have betrayed your wife's trust. If it is negative, oh well, that one is another wahala.

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It depends on he kind of woman I end up marrying. However, if I have ANY reason to suspect, I'll do the DNA test, of course in consultation with wifey.

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Hmm, chiegemba, i never said so. In fact, we all are culprits, its just that some get away with it. But what am saying is that whenever anyone is caught, i think such a person should dance to the music. Such a penalty or perceived punishment could serve as a deterrent to recklessness in some situations. if i know that i will be forgiven after shedding some crocodile tears, i may as well do it and get away with it.

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"Saints" and women d "Sinners''

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Of course, as a lady, you dont need DNA to know if the children are yours but will their father have the same confidence you have? That is where the DNA becomes very useful. To make him a proud father of his children.

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Laughing my fantabulous Bottom off @ some of the replies here.

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4 wetin now?

i call them my kids then i would go do a "DNA" i guess somethin doesnt add up right then!

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Not every woman knows the father of her baby. Think of women with multiple partners who appear on talkshows for paternity test, because they have no clue is

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Read the link below

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-104748.0.html

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I fit do am if the woman wey carry belle na oyibo

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Just don't trust women! get ur Kids tested just to make sure,I'm writing from a hard learned lesson.

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I suppose by 'maternal' you don't mean female dominated, right? Their president is male, and so are most politicians!

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Ghana is a Maternal society.

Ive been there a couple of times and thats the only thing that pisses me off.

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yes, almost all ma friends r 4rom Ghana and yea, itz true, they mostly answer their mother's names and in most cases, more respectful to their mothers than their fathers and maybe cuz their women can marry a man, move to another place with da kid(s) and get married to another person, datz their tradition i come to realize

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