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Would you leave your husband/wife to marry your long-lost first and true love?

This is the scenario - My very adamant cousin's plight and dilemma. He is willing to leave his wife and three children for his long-lost but recently found first true-love.

You were in love with someone, who more or less is your true first-love, every thing you ever wanted in a man or woman. You dreamed of being husband and wife someday, however, through no fault of either one of you, you lost contact only to come into contact with each other through providence, at a stage later in life. From the first meeting, and after years of such time lapse, memories of the good-times that made your relationship such a wonderful and blissful one comes flooding back to the both of you, love gets rekindled.

My question is, after these many years, say 10-15 years absence, both of you being happily/unhappily married to your respective partners, would you be prepared to leave or divorce your husband/wife for a more lasting and satisfying happiness, (Utopia) with your long-lost first and true love? 

Irunmole.

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If my first love was really my true love, then he wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place would he?

There is a huge difference between child-like fantasy and down-to-earth maturity born of being thrown the realistic ups and downs of real life. Plus factoring kids in the equation makes it an absolute no-no. They now take priority and their needs superceed any personal and selfish needs.

No point raking up dead ashes. There is a reason why he would have been in the past. Let the past and its associates remain firmly where they belong. In the past.

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Princess Zoe, why should I explain to you the basis of my annulment? It was granted by my Church, and that is all that is necessary to know. I find your words and attitude offensive. I don't intend to follow this interchange with a person who does not respect my faith, my Church, or my personal life. Enough said.

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What was the basis for that annulment? I know marriages in catholic church are very hard to break, rather most people settle for separation. To prove a case for annulment you have to have some concrete and convincing evidence. Like the marriage was never consummated, was conducted under deception by one spouse in which the other was not aware of, and wouldnt have gotten married to that person if they were. Or if the person was forced to marry their spouse. Under duress or undue influence. I wonder how you were able to get that annulment. I will be waiting for your response.

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15 Years is a long time ago.

The past should be the past and let her proceed with what is at hand now.

Do you think the same love/person u knew 15years ago would be the same person in 2013

NO. So many things would have change for either good or worse therefore let her forget what is gone by to be bye gone.

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Princess Zoe, in the Catholic Church there is no divorce. There is annulment, and adultery is not a basis for annulment. My case is not at issue here. My answer to the original question would not change, regardless of religion. Each one has to follow her or his own faith and in case there is none, his or her moral principles. I am a Catholic, and behaved accordingly, but would not pretend to impose the principles of my faith on anyone.

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After 15years hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. No i wont

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I hope you divorced on the basis of adultery ? Did you seek for the will of God before that ? Matthew 19 verse 9.

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This is a very difficult question. It depends not only in the persons involved but also in the state of the marriages, if there are children involved, how old they are, and even in their moral principles and vows. If the marriage is not a solid one, and through the years have brought less than happiness, then my answer would be to seek a divorce, and then proceed with a relation with that first love. If there are small children in the marriage, then they should be your priority. Forget the first love, at least until they are grown up. If the couple is Catholic and has taken at heart their marriage vows, at least seek a Church annulment. I did it, although not to marry my first love, and was very happy thereafter.

The question of the first love is heartbreaking. Much depends on why the relation was broken. If it was for reasons that had nothing to do with the lovers, such as familiar opposition, the possibilities of happiness are good. If the rapture was due to problems in their relationship the same problems may return.

So, in order to answer your question I would say Yes under some condition and absolutely No under others.

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Better to let long lost remain lost and be happy with the found love

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tufiakwa, i wont do that for anything in the world, and if my husband does that to me, speechless

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Like you say Utopia, he should just catch a wake fast before he loses the most important thing in his life (family) which he took so much time and effort building. Silly man.

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OP

Does the pleasure of rekindling the old love worth sacrificing the happiness of others who have laboured with you for years, including your own children?

I dont think so.

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^^^^^^^ I rest my case.

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chaircover,

Providence, that word, providence has brought them back into each others path, and love which they say conquers all has been rekindled, surely, as the saying goes again, better late than never should ring true. My take would be that it was meant to be hence they came acroos each other, time I believe is

Irunmole.

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Nope!

I wouldn't do that for any reason.

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