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Would You Let Your Spouse Change You?

I have seen so many relationships that the guy or the girl try to change who they really are, just for the sake of pleasing their spouses. Is this type of relationship going to last?

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From my observation (which could be inaccurate), it's usually the women who try to change their men more often than not. As soon as the dotted lines are signed, she becomes "madam".All of a sudden, she doesn't like him spending his usual hour or two during the weekends with his buddies watching the Carling cup, she doesn't like his goatee beard, she doesn't like him in the kitchen (even though he cooks better than herself), she doesn't like the idea of his younger siblings coming around without her approval, she wants to know everything about his finances and investments (but it's okay if she keeps her's on the hush hush), she hates seeing his female friends but there's nothing wrong with her seeing and keeping hers, she wants to know everything going on in the guy's head but she has an avalanche of secrets and buried skeletons the guy has virtually no idea of . . .

***and the beat goes on***

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@topic i say yes!

As stated in self esteem article www.naijacoach.com

". As long as I don’t put more weight on their needs or their perception of me; as long as I don’t get caught up in feeling like I need their approval or that they shouldn’t be angry with me I can easily stay solid and true to myself, honor my truth about what I need, feel, and want." -

http://naijacoach.com/2010/12/what-does-self-%E2%80%93-respect-really-mean/

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sure i would change some. We all do without realizing it. It is natural. What do you think, U live life on an island? Egocentric.

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If there's anything i hate the most. . .it's being toyed with or manipulated. Why would i let a women change me? This is one of the reasons i'm not so keen on marriage.

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I would let my spouse change me, for the better though, I mean why not??

I want to be a better person and I want to please him, of course I'll think of the consequences to this change, like loss of my dignity (note how it is dignity not pride!!), loss of what makes me me, , loss of my morals etc

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Important questions:

Is he man enough to take me as I am?

Why does he want to change me? For his own benefit or for both of us?

Can I really change? What if I can't? What happens then?

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Well seeing as though I don't think anything is seriously wrong with me um heck to the no I won't change to please my bf's or husband's family. I don't want a weak man whose partnership in OUR relationship is run by his family, it shows he has no spine, or guts or brain of his own. I don't mind a bit of compromise but trying to change who I am or fake it to please people no, I'd rather be disliked for what I am than loved for being what I'm not.

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This is a cute question, Very cute

I would like to think that God (the original manufacturer) is the only one who can change a person (if the person wills). Your spouse may desire to change you, however, if you "yourself" are not willing to change-it will never work. On the other hand, even if you were willing to change, you cannot do so on your own. You gotta seek the manufacturer. He will ease the process-of course-He will see to it that the change your spouse desires is for your good.

On the other side, did you also realize that even God cannot change someone that was not willing to change, Yes, i did say earlier that He is the manufacturer, and very well-He is. But as humans we have been given free will and even if God wants you to change your ways you yourself can oppose this.

Concluson: Change is a "You + God" collabo- God may use the spouse to enlighten you of a much needed change-Wisdom is always good here.

Agape!

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As you all know that the only thing that is constant in life is Change itself.

My spouse can change me if it's going to be for my own good, but i will apprc8 it if he can take me for who iam.

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I agree, so long as the change is not imposed as a demand, then change is definitely good. Many ppl don't like the thought of change, though. In many ways, we all like to remain in the familiar, whether good or bad. However, if we see that the change presented is for our good rather than pooping the party, then we will definitely embrace it. Would I let my spouse change me? Yeah!

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To me, if you[i] really[/i] love someone then you shouldn't really have to try to change them.

Just love and accept them for what they are and if you don't, then find someone else.

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I can.What's the point of being rigid since I opted for union of body ,spirit and soul with her.My personality has to change and likewise hers.Man's strength is not determine by rigidity but by wisdom to change for the better

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Be real. I mean be natural in everythin you do. if at all it does nt do anything it commands respect.

So at any time of creating inspiration btw u & spouse she sees you as a KING of the house and can never be able to change you. well my spouse can change me if she has a right attitute while i dnt have but when i hv a right & she doest hv' she can't infect me with hers.

Follow the proceedure above nd achieve a pace of ur life,

Swaltz

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No body changes anybody from good to bad. People would want to change for the better therefore i think some times we can change people we meet. But some times also things are taking for granted especially when the woman wants to change the man to suite her kind of man. Most times she ends up been bossy and trouble ensues thereafter.

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Change they say is the most contant thing in life, When we talk about changing for your spouse I don't see any thing wrong with it at all, The problem I see is changing for the worst and not for the better,

Every body has a bad side and if your spouse comes in to your life and helps you change your bad parts then I think that's a positive change, But if on the other hand your spouse causes you to have negative change then that's bad,

Sometimes the problem we have is pride, there's nothing wrong with changing for your spouse, if it's a positive change.

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U have put it just as i would, nothing wrong in changing for the best, especially if its for ur man. Would do it any day any time. But hope he would do same for me?

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yeah, as long as its for my own betterment, my spouse actually changed many things bout me

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None is perfect,so definitely change is inevitable.

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its definately impossible to change someone,think adjusting and having respect for each others preferences is better.thats y i always advocate marrying someone that u can withstand their behaviour.so y dont u people start looking for someone that can live with u not somebody u can live with uh.cheers

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Wow! that is very deep. I just have a question. How did you get him to sleep with you?

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I dated this Good looking guy and I thought I could change him

But it was the biggest mistake I've made in my life because He prefers Guys.

whenever we have sex, he will scream out a guy's name.

well I cut my losses and dumped him in the end.

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The issue of spouse changing the partner is an ego thing (I believe). I used to be of the impression that a woman would never change me but a relationship is at its best if both parties are open to change. Scratch my back i scratch yours. Nothing is better than a good wife. Who knows, the change might just be what is missing in your life. (Just my two cents)

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It really is not a question of whether u allow him/her change u, u'll just b adapting 2 d person if u say u love him/her and I believe he/she wld b doin same if love is involved it's d only way d marriage wld last and d only way u'll b able to enjoy stayin married.

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Have a seen a situation a girl changed a guy from being a drunkard,smoker and street fighter to quit those bad habits,

Was able to change a gal to quit hot temper.

Bad habits can and shld be abandoned when necessary by the assistance of a spouse

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it is not the change that is important. wat is important as why and how. the change should not be for the good of one but for the mutual benefit of the the two.we should remember tha change is constant.

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it is not the change that is important. wat is important as why and how. the change should not be for the good of one but for the mutual benefit of the the two.we should remember tha change is constant.

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If the change is for good, why not. Love is sacrificial and no two persons have the same character. I will allow her to change me for good if she can. Infact, if she can overhaul me and make a far better man out of me, i will allow her, but this does not mean i will become her handbag. I will still be the head and she will be the neck.

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De King has said it all. To change a human being? hmm I dont think so. the person will only put up an act for sometime and before u know it, it's back to status quo and the problems begin to roll in.

As for me, I wont try to change anybody and no one should try to change me!

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we all in one way unconsciously change some of our habits that we know that are disgusting, once we find ourselves truly in love and not lust.

When we are truly in love, whatever we do is to put a smile across the face of the beloved one.So when this is done,both parties are doing it unconsciously,wheteher you we like it or not.

This is where nature takes control.

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i dont want anyone trying to change me cause i won't try changing anyone.i think you should know what you want and if you don't like certain characters in a person then no need dating someone with these characteristics and then try changing them to suit you.it just dosen't make sense.

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its not right when one partner tries so hard to change the other and this is so common with naija pple.

why not let the other ccouple change by themselve and if they really love u, then they'll compromise and

adjust to the other partner's lifestyle, likes and dislikes. Changing someone would always end at disaster.

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Can my spouse really change me?,na ,I don't think so.For us to be 2gether it is the actions of our first contact that tells us how we are going to approach each other again,in that case u might want to correct ur first mistakes,maybe u were too forward,then u try not too be next time.

Then 4 u too be 2gether u will have too know what I like and what I don't like, then u correct each other.

So nobody as to change his or her character to be with the spouse,it just ain't right.

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Hello this ia a man's affair not for the ladies!! As for me i would not allow that to happen to me because women are flexible and weak in nature ! But a man will always be a man i mean adapt to any changes that comes his way, able to stand up to any challenges any day any time

THAT'S A MAN FOR U!!

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Wat will make amn to cheat on his wife in as much the Bible does not permit it and i want to believe that a man loves his wife that was why they got married

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the only permanent thing in life is Change. It can be for better or for worse. But any positive change for the better in a relationship I believe should be a welcome development.

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He can change me and i can change him positively and not negatively.

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i won't him change me cause i think im alright th way i am,but i will agree with him to correct and guide me wherever that he finds fault in me!!!

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Talk about a real reason why anyone would want to change the spouse; have u noticed that when at home spouses may ignore how they look and dress but as soon as they wish to go out, then they shape up for the kill as if to make the spouse jealous?

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#1 rule of a relationship, do not try to hide who u are. Hidding who u are won't allow the relationship last. Let the guy or the girl know ur real attitude and behavior.

I am never going to hide my behavior just to please my bf, never.

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it's good to change for good but not change to please someone. that sounds muguish. just b urself!

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it all depends on a lot of things

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Why not. that is why we have courtship before marriage in order to work on each other. and probably change some habit which you both knew its not good. since there is no Mr or Mrs perfect. i can allow my spouse to change me if there is any habit in me that is not good enough.

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Whether you like it or not, almost everytime you're in a relationship, something changes. you might not recognise it at first, but it's alwayz there n when you look back, you know why it's that way.My point is that our spouses change us, knowingly or not, they do!

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I be na bent tree - sorry o! but nobody fit straigthen me. My head hard pas rock. no changing me at this stage so....it will be a complete waste of your valuable time if you try.

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Change they say is the most contant thing in life....When we talk about changing for your spouse I don't see any thing wrong with it at all...The problem I see is changing for the worst and not for the better...

Every body has a bad side and if your spouse comes in to your life and helps you change your bad parts then I think that's a positive change...But if on the other hand your spouse causes you to have negative change then that's bad...

Sometimes the problem we have is pride...there's nothing wrong with changing for your spouse...if it's a positive change.

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If you come into a relationship with this idea in mind, that you'll change whatever it is that you do not really like in your spouse, chances are that you'll be disappointed! But relationships are about people learning to help one another go back home to God at the end of this life. Divorce is a good thing and that's one way to force a change in your mate through the heart-break. In a marriage, the commitment to helping one another home is much more demanding but the fibre of this exchange is love - doing things to make life easier for one another without expecting rewards.

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Ohh yes, i'll follow wat he says.. if he says it 'nicely'. Plus i love to take corrections.

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Cos you wont follow what you husband suggest, i know you

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