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Would You Marry Someone Out Of Sympathy?

Let us say u met/saw some body who got physical limitations and you feel them but it become clear to you they need more than feeling sorry, they might not get some body to marry easily because they are physically challenged i.e. blind, deaf or other forms of physical disabling.

Would you marry them for sake of God  or sympathy in that matter?

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47 answers

@Giftsong, I think i agree with u!

@ddippset, U'v said it all! N daz d marraige of today for d gurls. (marrying out of pity for d love of money)

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i will never because there is nothing like sympathy in my dico.jooooooooooooo

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i find your post rather insulting and am not physically cahllenged.

are you suggesting that people with disability do not have endearing traits?

so the only reason people with disability get married is cos somebody 'took pity' on them?

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most nigerian girls marry out of pity for a man's cash!

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lETS examine in the light of Scriptures. 1John 3:17

Niv

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?

NLT

if someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion--how can God's love be in that person?

ESV

But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?

KJV

But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

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Its is not advisable to marry someone out of pity. The marriage is not gonna last. I can not do that ooo.

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Coming to think of it, saying we can't marry someone out of pity is a statment that some people use as an excuse to get ride of a partner. Some people can use that statement to pacify their conscience after dumping a partner without a valid cause.

Some people use that statement to run away from responsability.

It is a good statement for players (I don't mean anyone who use it is a player).

TheCongo

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Thanks for taking the time to read

and also posting ur thoughts

I appreciate it

it is better than someone blindly criticizing and calling names and defaming

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well to me it all depends on the situation.

im married to a man wt lung cancer! yesssss som may say dats crazy

only God can tell where ever he got it from.

it all started few weeks to our wedding when he started coughing out blood n no doc here in nigeria could depict what was actually wrong wt him, we had to put a hold on d wedding to allow us use d money intended for d wedding to send him abroad to seek medical attention and lo and behold he was diagnosed of lung cancer.

i couldnt believe it! i was totally devastated! but he had his first cycle of chemo abroad n den came bak to naija to continue n d coughing up of blood stopped.

i got several devilish advice to let go of him, i was reminded of how my future will be ruined if i went ahead wt d marriage, and so oonn,

afta so much thots i decided to get married to him just to spite d enemies n put dem to shame, i ve put so much light into his life and he has plenty reasons to live.

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When you have a woman who is very confrontational and competitive both in and outside your home but despite this,you love her dearly despite your frequent unhappiness over her inability to understand that she is rather killing you slowly through her negative acts. When you put corrective measures in place,she runs and cry foul. Then,you meet another one that is dutiful, caring,thinks of you more than you think of her,wise in dealing with you.In short,you met a wife material yet your love still resides with the firebrand that took off cos you frown at her. But despite the undying love for the former,you made up your mind to marry the later,is that what is called marrying out of sympathy? What is the solution or option then; marry the former and die early ,or marry the later and live longer? Which one is the best?

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I want to point out something

when you guys talk about pity u make it sound like disgust, hate, despite, mockery, shame, ridiculous, disgusting,  and many more such like things.

But pity is none of these things.

just like someone pointed out here before, what of if your beautiful married wife becomes disabled years after marriage or having bosom cancer or other deformities.

u abandon her? will u

or maybe how will u feel if your wife abandons u cos u lost your legs in an accident?

nairaland romance and sexuality section will be filled with tales of how all women are golddiggers. How money is the number one criteria one woman's list of qualities of their dream men.?

why wouldn't it be so when such mentality is promoted and defended. mentality that leads to such acts.( cos as a man thinketh so is he.)

take a look at this thread of mine>[url]http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=496010.msg6561312#msg6561312

[/url]

what i am saying is the disability should not stand in the way

the major factor is the purpose of ur life on earth and fulfilling it as |God has directed u to.

ur wife is a partner in that life purpose cos she is a help for you and u are to help her in other to experience her help

so as long as her disability does not get in the way of ur ministry no problem.

I am saying this because i know that God will not give u somebody as ur wife in other to prevent u from fulfilling ur mission that he has given u. but rather to help u finish it

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@invisible--haha, there's nothing wrong marrying a girl whose future seems 'bleak' at the moment, but she sure must have some strong character in her, and must also be very intelligent and hardworking, cos at times it happens when you bring up a girl from grass to grace, they usually suddenly grow wings, and act otherwise, thats why one has to shine his eyes with the girl, @ ranoscky, thank you again, u are quite straight with issues!

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^

So long as she's a wyfy material, i would marry her, no doubt!

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Would you marry a young woman you know who just lost her dad and their family future seems bleak at the time. Maybe with sypathy remove her from low life that can lead to selling herself. Maybe also to put her in higher school?

Another angle to it.

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^

U'r highly welcome brov!

If u have a relationship with a gurl in such, n u love her so much dat u wanted to marry her before d accident, pls go ahead n marry her. Accident can happen to ANYBODY so dia's no big deal on it my broda. Som say dey can't marry a disabled gurl buh, what if dey married an abled beautiful gurl, n after 1week of dia marraige, she got an accident n d doctor say's she can't walk anymore, R dey gonna dump her n marry another wyf? RUBBISH!!! I'v said it before, n i'll stil say it again n again dat, i can marry a blind gurl. "GOD" KNOWS MY HEART!!!

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@Ranoscky --thanks a bunch guy, actually have a babe like dat, and i mean she's almost everything, good xcter, beauty, brains, even before her accident, pity at times shouldnt form the bulk of reason for marrying someone, but lets use the word-compassion instead, cos in some way, when you are assailed with various choice of women whom u love almost synonymously, then compassion could come, as in--which babe go kill herself, if i dont marry her?, my submission!

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^^^^^

translation in ibo

MMBAAAAAAAAAA

OOOOLLLLOOOOOOOO

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It is not advisable to marry someone out of pity, if anybody tries that, they will live to regret it, marriage only thrives on true love.

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@Poster, Have you pictured living with someone out of pity for at least 40 years?

We must never marry because of one thing or the other. Marriage has its purposes as clearly taught in the scriptures. Its a godly thing not a pity/sympathy thing.

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@Valacious,

such case lyk dat, i'll stil marry her not out of pity buh, for d sake dat she's stil my gurlfriend amid her accident!

But somhow i can stil marry a gurl out pity. y? my reason goes lyk dis- what if i know a gurl dat is not dat beautiful n b'cos of dat guy's don't always aproach her buh, she's a wyfy material, den, y won't i marry her/such gurl? is it a must dat every man must marry beautiful gurls? after all, not all so called beaytiful gurls r wyfy materials, dey'r just "beautiful for nottin". Dia beauty is just to attract boy's n next is to have dem on bed, after dat, dey'r useless!

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No! YOu will regret itr if you do so. I had a terrible experience already

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Marrying because of one's behaviour could as well be for sympathy. I believe love should be the basis of marriage as it covers a multitude of sins. Hope I would not marry due to sympathy - but who can say?

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As silly as it is people does.

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Why would anyone marry some one for sympathy?

That doesn't even make sense, if you want to marry, marry for someone for his/her behaviour.

Not out of pity or sympathy, it's ridiculous.

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Now let me ask, what if you had a relationship where suddenly she had an okada accident, and that gave her a little limp, and before then she was your perfect dream girl, and you loved her, would you still go ahead in the relationship? would you call that pity? can someone answer this!

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@naturaltee, you are brave sha.

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you should never use temporal emotions(pity) to solve a permanant situation(marriage)

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Do not marry out of pity. U R hurting the person you are marrying. They deserve to be married for love and nothing short of that.

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No, but I would definitely marry a MUTE girl. In fact, its #2 on my list things my future wife should have/be

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", but i must say it is better than marring someone for beauty and money or whatever you can get from the relationship other than what you can give to the relationship."

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Most Nigerian marry out of pity, family influence e. t. c dts why we have many failed marriage in the country with many more to follow in the recent years, Parley no even try and marry for sympathy oooo.

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no, i nearly did but not to a disabled person.

i would not marry out of sympathy

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by virtue of the fact that marriage is a covenant between two people, it would be wise not to embark on it for sympathy sake.

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Omo men, na WEAC question be dis O! But i no fit sha, make i no lie! (E be as e get!)

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What happens when the sympathetic disposition wane off?end of the marriage.

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Basis of marriage should be love not pity, marriage of such kind stands no chance of lasting, no matter how hard the couple may try. That kind of marriage is just doomed for failure.

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No! Why would you mary somebody for sympathy?

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No, I wouldn't because the marriage would not be productive if i married only out of pity.

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I almost did, but to a jobless guy. I tried to help him, but he back stab me.

NO MORE SYMPATHY

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