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Would You Marry Your Best Friend's Widow?

Your best friend is dead, leaving behind a young widow with kids. You are currently single and there is a mutual attraction. Should you attempt to date and if there is a connection, marry her, or transfer your feelings to another eligible single woman?

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54 answers

yes u should,she is single also u are!!!still ur friend wuld have been happy,because with u her and her kida are in good hands, if u guys like ich other, there is nothing bad in it!u both single right now!

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Its absolutely wrong to marry your best friend's widow because one they may think you even ploted for his death, the lady may be hated by the family to the late hubby, basically its not correct,, its morally wrong

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We are too narrow minded at times. Why is it anyone's business if they married their friend's widow? WE ARE such hypocrites. Let guess: Its ok to have multiple womenOR Or its okay to have multiple boy friends and girlfriends yet: its an abomination to marry a single man or woman who is a widow. This is the same mentality that has caused so much strife and ethnic divisions in that country. Ibo can't marry Yoruba. Yoruba won't marry Benin. Calabars are lesser human beings than the rest, etc. The choice should be left to each individual who to marry. Just because one person doesn't feel comfortable doing it doesn't make it an abomination. Make una stop dis yeye beliefs wey tie us down for so long oooo. We are allowing ignorance hold us captive to outdated ideologies, at the expense of advancement and enlightenment. Live and let live, peace will prevail.

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I don't think I could, though this is purely hypothetical.

If faced with such a scenario in real life, my answer and reactions may well be different.

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@rasputinn

go sidan myfrien, y u go talk lyke dat? so long as god know say both of them no get any affair wen him frien

dey alyve and after d death of the friend, he became interested to d woman, y won't the marraige commence?

the only problem be say, pipu go talk but dat 1 concern dem, if dem talk finish dem go shut-up. I GO DO AM!

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Na im be say na you kill your best friend be that

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IF I love her and she loves me, why wont I at least its better than having a secret affiar

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No!

Why would I take the left-over of my best friend?

Cann't I find my own missing rib? My own woman?

Will I suddenly fall in love with my friend's wife after his demise?

I'd do everything to support her and the kids but that's where it will end!

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Osondi Owendi.

I cant say what i will do in such a situation.

However, if anyone does it, i will be in support.

People will always talk but i won't be one of such.

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Covetousness after the man is dead and even the Holy Bible has given her permission to remarry, you still have a problem with that?

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I cant agree less but not to you.You were once friends remember,that's covetousness by every meaning of it.

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How so? She is morally obligated to remarry after the death of her husband.

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@post

Why u wanna go and do n do dat luv?

Regardless of the attraction or whatever it's utterly wrong!

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I think it happens in America, particularly when the man knows he is dying and confides in his friend and his wife about his wishes for them to be together if they are compatible. It boils down to trust. Sometimes men, knowing their friends would want to commit to their wife to a trust worthy friend.

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@Ranoscky , if you have read my post properly you'll notice that I am not against this scenario completely. All I said is that you need a tough skin to pull through. To your question, yes it has happened before but it is more common to find a best friend getting down with his buddie's wife than best friends marrying their friends' widow. It's just odd

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@next1, so long as my brother's best friend had no fowl play with my brother's wife when my brother was alive and

my brother's friend feels like to continue with my brother's wife, then y will i stop him from marrying her?

i will even be happy that my brother's wife is in a good and safer hands.

some widows became harlot just b'cos of their husband is nomore and abandon the children on the street, is it

better thet way? . . . i'v said it b4 and i'll say it again . . . I CAN AND I WILL!

i wanna ask u a question . . has such problem happened in nigeria or not?

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@madoba I agree with you to the extent that there is nothing with marrying your late friend's widow but I will have to add that it's takes a very strong character to pull this stunt through and the backlash of sentiments and emotions will not get to you. We are NIGERIANS. We think act, think and live 9ja so let's us drop this "it's only in Nigeria that people think like this , " cos that's who we are. We think about how our actions affects other people. Do not forget that there are children involved and the late guy also has family left behind. In as much as both of you can ward off the intruders what of the kids? how will they handle the whispers from their uncles and aunts ? The guy may have to contend with violent reactions from the late guy's kid.Put yourself in the place of the sibling of the late guy, how will you handle the fact that your brother is in a cold grave and HIS BEST FRIEND is getting with HIS WIFE?!!!

Now before you venture into such a journey you have to have it all figured out and it has to be for the very right reasons. I don't think I can handle it.

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What I feel is that noone ever plans to experience certain things in life; but somehow, fate or destiny forces one to be in a situation not planned for. I may not be able to do this, but I will not condemn anybody in that situation.

life itself is full of surprises!

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ordinarily, there is nothing wrong with marrying ur friend`s widow if you are doing so with a genuine purpose. But personally I can not marry any widow or any woman that have kids already, be it a friend`s or foe`s.

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you want me to begin my life carrying another mans load abi? God forbid

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Why would i marry a widow?

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Genesis 38 vs 8-10 what's the difference between your brother or relation marrying your wife and your best friend marrying your wife?

If you marry her people will talk, if you don't marry her but help her regularly, people will also talk, even your own wife can accuse you of infidelity, but i think things like these draws lots of sentiments, and if you can handle things then do it.

I watched an interview of iretiola doyle where she said she married her best friend's husband when she died! She asked the reporter whats wrong about it, she said she saw the kids as hers and felt it wasn't wrong to marry patrick doyle.

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It's funny how some people are eternally bothered/concerned about what "people" will say. They forget that people will always say, no matter what. Considering the topic, if you indeed found the widow suitable, and you being capable with genuine intentions didn't make the move, people would still say! Lol,

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It is not an abomination, as earlier stated by somebody. In addition, if you find her suitable, and you're capable, why not if not!?!

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This is a very upseting question. Why would someone did such? Can will call it a fun? or Help? or Madness? I dont understand the logic or the idea behind this question because this is a very upseting question.

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y will you marry her is there no other person to marry

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Why not if not? Its only in Nigeria that we get this kind of responses that you guys are giving, in civilized world, there is nothing wrong with it.

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Am amazed at some of the immature replies on this thread, I would like to know what on earth is wrong with marrying your best friend's widow if there has been no foul play involved at any point in time.

If there was no foul play during his marriage, before his death or at the time of his death I see nothing wrong with it. We can never control what people will think or say about us, its so annoying when people don't want to be honest and do the things they like because of what people might think or say about them.

To hell with the people and their talk, so long as you have a clear & clean conscience, you are sincere with God (for he sees the sincerity of our hearts) then by all means go for it and blank out the haters & talkers.

This is not a morality issue i don't understand why some people are screaming abomination.Children please grow up

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NIGERIA AND NIGERIANS are civilise

i think there is nothing wrong with marrying the lady if they have feelings for each other and he is willing to become a father to her children. What i thinis important however is time. They must give it like 2/3 years before getting together. People will talk yes, but are u happy?

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there is noting too bad in marring your best friend's wife after death as long as you don't have hand in his death.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

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there is noting too bad in marring your best friend's wife after death as long as you don't have hand in his death.

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y not i can if i love her after all d supposed husband is dead so?

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yes i can. and i will!

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yes and only if she's the only single lady left on earth,

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Yes, if she has no kids yet. But that will depend on the circumstances sorrounding my friends death.

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You can marry her if you both so desire. There is nothing wrong in that. afterall most likely she will not remain a widow for ever, she will marry someone.

As long as you were not dating before the death of the husband, who the hell cares whether you marry a widow or not.

If you marry someone else, you can never help your friend's family as much as you want, your new wife will ensure you are not too close to give valuable help. women have a way of doing that.

But donot marry anyone out of pity. you might regret it.

and do not take advantage of her. She might just be down now due to the death of her spouse. Do you really think you are good for her?

She might marry you out of her current depression and later regret it

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I see nothing wrong with it unless they had an intimate relationship while the friend/partner was alive. People will talk no matter what you do.

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Cant do that for personal reasons, but its not an abomination if theres mutual feelings btw the two

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I find that weird, but HEY if both of you have feelings for each others why not.

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you will get hunted by your friend dead image for the rest of your life after being with her.honour your friend more by helping her to raise the kids and marry your own wife.is she also your missing rib?

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true. but some rumors and suspicion can be very powerful that you cant just simply ignore them. some does get to you

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I have no problem with anybody doing it, but am not sure I can.

I can only guarantee my support to her and her kids.

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You can never stop people from talking, but can always stop yourself from listening!

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I can't marry my friend's widow.

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Depends on the circumstances of his death. Assuming, he did a high jump from a skyscraper 40days ago and you and the wife are now jollofing or planning to get married,you too will experience black magic!

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Yes, provided i have spoken with her and we understand each other and reach an agreement. Love & understanding should come first.

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true. some might even argue you eliminated him so to be with him/her

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