«Home

You Want To Marry Her, Parents Dissent - What Do You Do?

It's something we're all familiar with and have encountered over time - either by experience or having met someone passing through the throes of it. Or seen it on TV. Whichever may be the case, what would you do if it were you? It's plaguing some of my boys and I and there seems to be no way out - no compromise, no common ground. Our spouses-to-be are tearing us to bits and our parents won't let us have peace of mind - even tried match-making (yup, old-school tactics). Not quite a cry for help - just an avenue to gather more knowledge and expand the database. Kind of like distributed thinking. Throw in all you've got - junk and all. Thanks!

Avatar
Newbie
12 answers

Hmmmm, o ma gbiyanju ke!!! Sugbon "gboro" ni o, ki i se "gboron"!!

Ara Eko spelling niyen o!!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Twas coincidental as much as it may seem otherwise. Considering the oddness of the coincidence, indeed, the Fates may be up to something!

0
Avatar
Newbie

I concur. You see, we never truly know the alternative. Surely it would have been different; but would it have been better? Off-guard, nostalgia may creep on you from time-to-time but it's better sticking with your guns. Truly, it hurt like hell when I couldn't have the girl of my dreams but my wife (whom I met much later & at the time had few, if any of the qualities I admire) amazingly evolved to develop the traits I seek. Moreover, physically, she blossomed into a different woman altogether.

I hate to hand it to them but yes, my parents ultimately "forced" me onto a brighter path. Remember, it is often said that "what the youth standing cannot see, the sage sitting has already seen".

Not to say parents don't get it awfully wrong at times. I tell you, prayer is the key.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Rarely.... they can't see avalanche and tell their kids to go skiing. It's called experience.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Parents do make mistakes as well you know. They can be blinded by sentiments. Mine really thought it would be too much for their baby. Not understanding language and culture. Plus he had many dependents and expectations being the first and most successful male.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Majority of them crawl back home with their tails btw their legs..... yourba adage says ma ta ara e lopo...gboron si obi e lenu( don't sell yourself cheap, listen to your parents)

0
Avatar
Newbie

'Them' as in Parents?

0
Avatar
Newbie

You never said what made them right? Honestly this ex has never left me alone. I feel so sad, bad and ashamed when I hear from him cause honestly he was a great guy. That drama almost killed him. My parents sha... We are just friends now and we talk about our lives. Before his wedding years later he was still talking of eloping, but I refused. How would the girl feel? Its not easy for him at all, he can't seem to let go.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Most times parents are right bout suitors...... I've come to learn the greatest principle that has been shaping my life since I became independent ..... ' don't push things and what will be will be' and it's been working for me , and I'm gonna apply it with my kids too.

I was gonna marry an amazing Igbo guy that is every woman's dream... 5.8'', I don't know if it's green eyes but he's very light skinned and weird eye color, hefty ... lemme stop there sha , my point is my Daddy never liked this guy , you know Igbo guys very generous especially when he just arrived from Netherlands.. my Daddy was like blah ,

So thank God I met my man same statistics cos I'm picky but brown eyes and brown Yoruba skin..., my Daddy gelled with him like snap ! And I couldn't have asked for more in a partner, very supportive and shares the same values with me.

0
Avatar
Newbie

So you resurrected this thread after several years.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well, no response on these pages and even I had almost forgotten about this thread. Got a lot of calls from friends, family & well-wishers though.

The scenario remains the same but individuals involved have changed. Mostly. Ideas are still welcome as the circumstances motivating the thread are nonplussed & self-perpetuating, even as we speak. The thread might nonetheless serve as valuable reference for someone, someday.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.