Do you want to be popular in society? What should you do step by steps? What principles and tips you should follow? You’ll find out everything about gaining people’s love here!
Each of us wants to live in peace and harmony not only with themselves but also with others. But somehow, some has bunch of friends, partners, colleagues, and others don’t have any relationships with people. How to be popular and attractive for other people? According to psychologists, there are ten universal principles that will let you to become popular.
1. The first principle. Look at life through a ‘plus’ sign
Try to think in a positive way. Do not focus on the negative aspects and insults. Do not waste your time on self-pity, it is better to develop an action plan that will improve your life.
2. The second principle. Treat life as a game
This does not mean that you have to treat life lightly and skin-deep. Try to enjoy it, if you have an opportunity - do what you love, what really pulls you to. Any way, we have only one life!
3. The third principle. Do not try to be like someone
Each person is unique and unrepeatable. In an effort to imitate someone, you spend a lot of energy, and the outcome is likely to turn out unsatisfactory. So use what you have - your own abilities and resources. And maybe, you can really succeed this way.
4. The fourth principle. Always do what you think is right
Do not lie to yourself. Sometimes we, for example, consider it necessary to stay or to communicate with another person just because we are afraid to offend him or believe that we have any obligations before him. However, in general, it does not lead to anything good. Build your life in accordance with your internal needs - and it will be much more harmonious.
5. The fifth principle. Do not gossip and do not judge people or things superficially
Spending time on gossips, you senseless kill it and also run the risk of further damage relations with those about whom you gossip. And expressing your opinion on the subject, which you do not know well, you are demonstrating your limitations. Before making any judgments, first gather all the required information, and then give your opinion.
6. The sixth principle. Support others
Do not assume that someone will raise you up. Start with yourself! Try to give others some positive, rather than complain about your problems. Infect their optimism - and it will come back to you a hundredfold.
If you have hard times, at this point you will probably want someone to say to you: ‘Do not worry, you are not alone, I'm with you!’ Use the same idea with the others. Offer your help when they feel bad, and you will find loved ones.
7. The seventh principle. Do not apply pressure to the others
Do not force others to do what you want and what you think is right. It will not bring happiness to you or them. If you need someone and you are interested in him, show it to him, but do not force to communicate with you. Life itself will put everything in its place.
8. The eighth principle. Respect other people's opinions
No wonder they say that ‘everyone has his own truth’. There is no ultimate truth. There are so many people and accordingly so many opinions. You have the right to express your opinion, but at the same time respect other people, do not make fun of them and do not judge. Remember that, claiming your rightness and superiority over others, you'll get only the deterioration of relations with them.
9. The ninth principle. Do not look at the past and do not live in future
A lot of people are afraid to move forward, referring to past mistakes and failures. This should not be done. The past is just what has been in your life. Look for new opportunities, build new relationships. And then everything will move forward.
Also remember that your future can only grow from this. So just do everything to achieve your goals right now: empty, unsubstantiated dreams always lead to nothing.
10. The tenth principle. Be flexible, and believe in yourself
Our principles can sometimes interfere with us very much. Try to overcome your prejudices, to solve problems that your life gives you, look at obstacles as opportunities to gain new experience.
Remember that you have enough resources to cope on your own with various tasks and challenges. Just contact them, and do not look for outside help. Do not be afraid to make difficult decisions and validate them with actions. And also always be ready for a radical change in his life. Sometimes they are necessary in order to move forward.
So now we have learnt the principles, which may help you to become an attractive, interesting person. But what should you start with building good relationships with people? How to be popular in school, how to be popular in college or even how to be popular on Instagram? What exactly should you do? Top tips are here!
1. Nurture self-confidence. Nobody is perfect. So, to be popular, you do not have to be perfect in everything. Even if you feel that, unfortunately, you are far from ideal, make the first step to gaining real confidence, that is believing in yourself.
2. Be in a prominent place. This usually means that you want to get out of your comfort zone. Whether you are not very popular, it happens because you are not cozy doing whatever popular people do, namely:
- Start a conversation, joke, try to flirt and generally attract people. Also remember that popular guys are popular just because they know a lot of other people (and they attract attention).
- Remember that whether you are not so popular yet, do not wait until someone decides to come to talk to you. Begin a conversation first, even if you haven't ever done something like this before.
- It’s possible that you are introverted, modest, shy person, but to get the desired, you have to change your relationship with people.
- At first it may look a little superficial or fake, but remember to be yourself, and what is the most important - to know what you want from life.
3. Find your own, personal style. If you want to be noticed, you should not dye your hair pink, or make a tattoo on your face. However, what you really need - is to find your own way and style, and show people that you're pleased with yourself.
4. Risk. To gain popularity on the social level, you have to take risks, of course, which under normal circumstances would have been inconvenient for you. So get ready to be brave.
Take a chance and introduce yourself to the people you have never met. Go to a party, where you are invited, even if there are little people you know; or make comments, which will allocate you out of the crowd.
If you have already got used to risk (of course, without putting yourself in danger) you will definitely become more noticeable.
5. Do not behave as if you do not care. Yes, if you begin to behave as if you're too cool for school, this office or something like this, people can notice you, but not in a positive light for you. Although you do not want to be among the teachers' pets and answer every question, participate in the classroom, and make some efforts to attract positive attention to you. It will work much better than if you shrug your shoulders or you are rude when the teacher ask you.
6. Be interested, not interesting. Do not try to be interesting, to attract the attention of other people ; show your interest in them. Ask others how they study or work, how their families are, everything, what they have mentioned before, and so on. And then you will get a connection. If people tell a special story, tell about you or someone you know and mention that there is something similar and how they have coped with it.
7. Be friendly. Popular people are friends with almost all - not only with their peers but also with teachers, leaders, grocery store employees, janitors, parents, children and all those who are sympathetic to them at least a little. They communicate with everyone to make a short, friendly conversation with people in the room. There is no reason why you cannot do the same. Friendliness does not require a huge effort, but it really has an effect.
8. Do not interrupt. There is a difference between friendliness and intervention, when you are not asked. Respect the privacy of people’s lives, do not interfere! Learn how to read body language and to notice when your questions cause a person some discomfort. If the person retreats or rejects you, check the phone every five minutes or began talking to another friend before you approach – probably, it is not the best time to talk.
9. Give a helping hand. Popular people do not just know everyone - they are on good terms with everyone. They establish such relationships, helping people, and emphasize it. So they create a connection doing small things (in addition to the large, for example, volunteering). They offer help to those who need it.
10. Become a member of a club or organization. This is another version of how you can expand your horizons and meet new people. The school newspaper and the football team can let you meet different people, so it would be a good idea to participate there and there, if you are interested and have free time in your schedule. Find something that interests you. Once you get enough experience - you have to be more convenient to be on top and you'll find more people - try to take a leadership position in the organization.
- Behave kindly to those whom know. Smile and greet, and if you say hello in response, ask how they are doing. Wherever you go, take it a habit of talking like the same with friends and strangers, even if it’s a minute conversation.
- If you cannot say anything good, do not say anything. It may resemble the words of your grandmother, but the tip itself is not bad. Even if people around you are discussing someone, do not let yourself to be drawn into nasty gossip. If your opinion persistently quizzed, simply say something neutral, such as: ‘"Well, he's always nice to me, so I do not know’ or ‘Maybe he had some personal problems, anything can happen’.
- Work on an open and friendly appearance. Communicating with nice people is a pleasure. And those who have always tragic facial expression are not attractive at all. Warm the others with your inner warmth.
- Never attempt to repeat the behavior of another person, be yourself!
- Exercise! As a rule, all the popular girls and boys are athletic and do sports! Cheerleading, gymnastics and dancing - the obvious choice. If you do not like this, try swimming, athletics, basketball, volleyball or soccer. Almost all the sports teams have popular people. Again, sports girl, as a rule, are most popular.
- Realize that popularity does not define who you are, but only sheds light on your personality. So do not think that you need to become a different person, if you are popular now.
- Although people treats badly ‘unpopular’ ones in some societies. As an example, in the middle and upper classes. If your environment is such, think twice before trying to improve your ‘place’, otherwise you might lose one of your friends, maybe even a best friend.
- Keep your phone on. If people want to call you, or invite somewhere, but your phone is turned off, they can do it without you, and you miss all the fun with your friends.
- If you have an account on Facebook, you can add your school friends, if they also have an account on Facebook. Always talk to them. But do not start with the words: ‘Hello, I'm bored’. Then will say: ‘And me’. So everything is banal and uninteresting. So if you want to start a conversation, think of what you are saying.