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Are You An Ajebota or An Ajepako?
The following speaks for itself:
1. If every morning after you wake up your folks give you a hug and a kiss before sending you off to school you just might be Ajebota....but if you are slapped for not kneeling down or prostrating 'properly' you are definitely PAKO!(Like my papa talk one time YOU DEY GREET ME ABI YOU DEY TRY CATCH CHIKEN?)
2. If as a young woman, before you even dare stepping outside you put on at least a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a cap on with matching sneakers..you just might be Ajebota....but if you repeatedly nonchalantly simply tie a wrapper around your chest, slip on a pair of foam slippers and head to Mama Chukwudi's store to buy three cubes of Maggi your "pakoness" is of a high level!
3. If your folks, perhaps through an exclusive Country Club, introduced you to a variety of sports like cricket, Polo, lawn tennis and hockey..perhaps you can be classified as Ajebota...but if cars have repeatedly avoided hitting you from playing either 'Ten-ten','Su-way' or 'set'(5 per side soccer) on the street you are a serious pako!
4. If your clothes were bought almost exclusively from abroad and you were always wearing the 'latest' name-brands that made everybody else wonder...you just might have been an Ajebota...but if you specialise in 'Boskona'(trying your clothes on in a makeshift stall before you purchase) pricing you're "enpakiated!"
5. If you were the type to get dropped in school and picked up by a driver designated to do so by your parents....you might qualify as an Ajebota....but if you hold the world record for either boarding a moving LMTS bus through ANY OPENING(door or window, driver's side inclusive) or hopping off a slowing down danfo bus without ever crash-landing you're a pako original!
6. If you were familiar and current with the latest things in vogue you may have qualified as an Ajebota...but if the very first time you saw a pair of NIKE shoes you wondered why the owner had to paint some Yoruba girl's name on it, pako-ism don skatta ya head!
7. If you ever toasted a girl speaking perfect Queen's English with the latest 'fo-ne' slangs and acting 'cool'...you might fall in the Ajebota category...but if you're the type to approach women with tribal marks who hardly speak any English with your native tongue souped up with strong dialect and try to impress them with bad pronunciation of the few English words you know...man mi...you have been genetically enPAKIlised!
8. If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and then returns them washed , ironed and folded..or you take your clothings to a cleaner's shop for the same services..well...we could call you an ajebota...but if you use a pail-ful of OMO to soak your clothes, then spread them out on a special concrete slab for the 'super-scrub' with Kongi soap to hit the troublesome collar, dip it back and forth in an extra pail of water until it starts looking too milky, hand squeeze it with your upper body twisting in one direction while the cloth is heading in the other, .snap it in mid-air fifteen times to get the wrinkles out before using wooden clips to hold it down on the rope line or better yet lay it over your corrugated iron fence...Nnem..you are pako level 10!
9.If you happen to do emergency laundry for an outfit you wish to wear in a very short while you pop it into a dryer and hit buttons to get it ready..you just may somehow be an Ajebota...but if after washing it you squueze wringe it out, grab a towel, roll it into the towel and have someone nearby tranversely and alternately dry squeeze it before finally steam-drying it with your coal or electric iron...you be pako O!
10.If every summer after school your idea of a holiday is looking forward to a trip to either England, US or anywhere else in the northern hemisphere for that matter...well...you are an Ajebota..but if you're excited that the Yam Festival and hunting seasons are coinciding hence you can finally trash that old Egungun outfit and don a new one..my friend you are an ajepako!!
11. If you happen to have maids and caterers that handle all the cooking in your household...well...just maybe you could be classified as an Ajebota...but if you have expert hands that have perfected trapping the dinner fowl by clipping its wings under your feet and holding its neck just right for the knifing...you be pako my friend!
12 If...you are a woman...you walk with the 'model strut' on the runway even if you're performing the slightest of chores like say...going to fix a cup of tea.. U just might be an ajebota...but if you walk anyhow with your foam slippers drawing on the ground and making so much noise, paki is engrained in your genetic code!
13. If the musical collection you have at home comprises the likes of Kool and The Gang, The Whispers and Tina Turner and by the way you know all the lyrics and can sing long...well...you just may somehow qualify to be a bit of an Ajebota...but if na onli Barrister and Uwaifo you sabi and Uyou no dey show eye for di kin parti wey dem no dey 'spray' man mi you be paki.
Footnote: So what is wrong in being pako? The lessons of life are in the end on the street.... As 4 me, if Ajebota=White and Ajepkako=Black., Whiteshark= Grey