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Friends!friends!friends!are They Really Necessary?

This issue is something that has been going through my mind for some years now.Friendships in reality aren't what the are hyped up to be.The last truly-unbiased friendship i remember having goes back to my primary school days in the '80s.I don't like to generalize but it seems the friendships of today border on material gains.I'll explain.Let's assume you went through school, had lots of friends (10 of the lot being those you could actually call close friends), it seems good right?Now, you're out of the university,get a good job,nice apartment or house,good car,sweet girl and all the works and then, SOMETHING HAPPENS! You lose the job,lose everything else, your girl starts talking about "needing some space",your "close friends" start disappearing one by one and maybe three months later, about 3-4 four of them are the only ones that remember you exist! Those ones hope that things might improve for you on time and you will be back on your feet and back to the good old times.Lets say life isnt fair with you and six months pass and still no improvement, the friends are reduced to just one.And even that one only flashes once a week to see if you will have credit to call back (lol).I won't continue with this narration but to people who have gone down this road, i know you can relate to what i'm saying.

The people who hurt the most are those we call family and close "friends".I mean face it, someone who knows nothing about you can't hurt you in any way and even if they do, it won't hurt half as much as someone who you "thought" was close to you.I've seen a lot of "friends" come and go and you know what?They seem to have this "radar" imbedded in their brains that lets them know when things are looking up for you.People who don't have your time anymore start calling, all of a sudden. . . they want to visit.I might be blabbing here but i know someone out there can relate to what am talking about.

So if friendships borders on what you've got, isn't it better just be on your own?Personally, the only use "friends" serve as for me are ALCOHOL DRINKING BUDDIES and nothing more.I feel it's better that way.

NL, what do you think?

NB : Matured posts please.

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26 answers

Yes friends are very necessary.

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Yes friends are very necessary.

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Maybe u need to be more selective in ur choice of friends?

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@ topic, no not necessary.

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redsky1

my friend lost her job so my boyfriend gave her a job cleaning his aparments, would u believe my friend has used his tenants details to cliam sola-sola (family tax credits) all his tenanats are on job seekers allowance so she used their details for the scam, about 30 of them had their addresses changed to different addresses in se28 and se7, one of the tenants had seen my friend going thr the posts everytime she cleaned the flats, when my boyfriend told me, i did not believe him, until few of the tenants gave me addresses the job centre had given to they to ask if they recongised the address, i recongnised some of the addresses straight away few were empty repossessed apartments in the same building her boyfriend was living, my boyfriend, his staff and i went thr her bag after legal advice while she was sent on an errand, we found lots of NI's that belonged to my boyfriends tenants, we sacked her on the spot, her mum rang me from nigeria saying it was her boyfriends idea but i was shocked, my boyfriend and his staff wanted to get the police involved but i was against it. she's apologised non-stop but i feel sorry for her cos she's a single mother, i miss her but she let me down, her boyfriend does not care, he's not even bothered to apologise, he's so arrogrant

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my dear - tell me about it - i try to stay away from our people when it comes to friendship.

jealousy, envy, gossip, defamation of character is just too much.

if there is nothing u can offer people they don't want to know. fake life and lies.

thank goodness my closest friends are not nigerian only one and she is not even full nigerian

i learnt early on about this

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they are nigerian's. , they only want to be ur friend if they can use you, if not they want nothing to do with you,

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were these girls nigerian?

i know why i'm asking

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Keep friends close,keep enemies closer

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i have bn used and abused by the so-called friends , i once had a friend who's siser was getting married, she told me she was going to order a dress from a catalogue and use my address cos i worked nights and she worked days, i agreed but when the delivery man arrived, he 25oxes of clothes. i was shocked cos i was expecting a dress, he told me he knew i had used a credit card details to buy the stuff but he did not care as long as he could have some stuff, i telephoned my friend and asked her y she had lied to me, when i told her the delivery man (he was white) wanted some stuff, she said he could not have any of the stuff, the delivery man snatched my mobile phone from me and spoke to her, she agreed, and i thought that was the end, an hour later, there was another knock for 6 laptops, she did not tell me about the laptops, i signed for it but did not tell her, later she called me and asked if the laptops had arrived, i said no and her boyfriend called me and said he was going to break my legs, my friend and her boyfriend came to pick their stuff, when i asked if i could have some clothes, they both said the stuff did not belong to them blah blah blah blah, i ve not spoken to her ever since

when i was going thra rough patch- no job, only 3 of my friends supported financailly, now that am fine, drving a bently bought for me by my propery millonaire boyfried, they all want to come to the £2M hse i share with my boyfriend, every1 wants to be my friend, initially some of my friends were like my lebanese boyfriend was a play boy and was going to use me, when he asked me to move in with him and gave a bought me a bently in my name, they changed their tunes, now they want me to introduce them to only his millonaire friends, i did introduce 1 to 1 of his friends but she told the guy to warn my boyfriend that i was a god digger, the guy dumped her because he thought she was a gold digger, even in church, every1 wants to have a convesation with me or want a lift. (my friends)

a friend of mine told our pastor that i use work as a cleaner and a kitchen porter and i told pastor iwas not ashamed of my past,

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Okay iice.I get your point.Well said.

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@Radiant (again)

I hope i'm not being sexist here (and i definitely don't intend to be) but the way males interact is a lil different from female relationships.It's not a matter of someone offending me or not being patient with people or thinking they are pathetic.Far from it.I'm not being conceited but i am a very tolerant and forgiving person but when you tolerate and forgive someone for all the bullsh*t they keep throwing at you over and over and over and over and over again, it's obvious such a person doesn't mean you well.You talked about assumptions.Well, don't judge people based on assumptions or perceptions.I judge them based on their actions (which i forgive times without number but they keep repeating the same thing timelessly).

What i finally realized is "males" aren't meant to be friendly to each other (once again, i'm not trying to be sexist).We are meant to be competitive and dissociated from each other in a social sense.Need sources?Watch animal planet or discovery channel.Even the wildlife know this.

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@Radiant

You could right although i wasn't talking about making new friends.The post was based on friends i've known for at least a decade or more.Friends i grew up with, friends i spent 80% of my growing up with,friends i went to school with,friends i ate with (you get the picture ).

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***continued***

He was stabbed in the senate house.A place where arms weren't allowed.They knew he was a gallant and fearless soldier and he wouldn't be armed while addressing the senate (western politics as we know it today originated from Rome).What was Ceasar's crime?His "trusted friends" felt he was getting too powerful and influential so he had to be "stopped".This was a man who strengthened Rome at a time when the empire was almost totally crumbled.This was a man who rescued Rome from being taken over by enemies.If you look at it critically, it all boils down to envy and jealousy.Human beings will always be human beings (unreliable when needed the most).

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@iice

Nice post.I wish i could agree with you on most of what you said but i can't.The way i see it, keeping close companions and friends can only be successful if you are someone that isn't moved by back stabbing and betrayal of trust.If you aren't sensitive to these factors, then friendships will definitely work well for you.I don't happen to belong to that category.I take life seriously and i have no room for unnecessary bullsh*t.Time has proved again and again how unreliable human beings can be (both family and friends).I'll cite some examples from the bible and the roman era :

(1)Cain killed his brother Abel out of jealousy.What was Abel's crime?God favored him more (imagine that)

(2)Joseph was sold out to slavery out of jealousy.What was his crime?His father seemed to favor him more (if you can't trust your brothers, who can you trust?)

(3)Absalom tried unsuccessfully to kill his father (King David).What was Davids crime?He gave the kingship to Solomon.A deed that was instructed by God and his son Absalom knew this but human beings will always be human beings.

(4)Our lord Jesus was betrayed by one of his trusted disciples (Judas Iscariot).We all know that everything was predestined but this shows what human beings are capable of.Judas was someone that saw first hand what the lord was capable of (healing the blind,deaf,dumb,sick,mentally ill,feeding 5000 people with fish,priceless teachings etc) and yet, he still sold his master for peanuts.Human beings! I tire.

(5)Julius Ceasar was emperor and dictator of the Roman empire.He was loved by the people.He solidified the captured kingdoms subject to Rome from Asia to Africa.This was at a time when there was no satellites or reliable navigation.The only means of transportation was boats and horses.He was [b]stabbed 27 times by the people he called "trusted friends".[/b]The person who landed the last fatal stab that finished him off was his best friend,adviser and companion by the name Brutus.

These are examples from the past.I tend to learn from other people's mistakes.Friendships don't work for me.I've had enough experiences to proove this.

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@djcrucifix

Well, i think it's two options.An individual can do with or without friends.As far as i'm concerned, i don't need them for anything.Each and every friend i've known has betrayed my trust in one way or the other.If they aren't sucking you try, they have something else up their sleeve e.g a chance to get "fresh" with your woman if the opportunity shows itself.

Some people can't do without friends and for others, friends end up being nightmares.

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we all need friends bro, it's inevitable, it's like water to man, we can't do without 'em.

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d fact there is never have a close friend bt just have friends.these alone makes a man caution himself

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women who go out of their way to stay away

from their fellow women; i have found that they

are in fact the crazy ones who like creating drama

I don't understand why a woman cannot have female

friend/s albeit one or just a few. Rather than going about

looking for men to be friends with simply because they have

less"drama".

i have very few friends and they are like brothers to me.

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ahhh well, atleast now i can look self righteous bastards in the face n say "been there, done that"

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~Oh Bugger! Gutted for you! We Live & Learn. . .

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I agree. Its really hard keeping solid and genuine friendships as adults. My closest friends are my husband and my sister plus 1 or 2 girls from school and uni.

There are plenty of people I mix with socially but I would never go to them in a crisis or lean on them in my hour of need - too much negative energy and you know so many of them would be gloating inside.

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It is a matter of a friend in need is a friend indeed or a friend indeed is a friend in need. Shikena

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Not entirely correct, but correct all the same! Try having only 1 best frnd, @ least!

It helps to have sme1 watching ur back

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No comments yet? Maybe i should have posted a topic concerning sexual issues. That seems to attract posters,lol

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