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Why Aren't Men Emotional?

I made a post in my blog concerning the lack of emotion most men show. The question is, why are we men so ashamed to show our emotions. Is it because we're scared of being called gay when we hug our fellow man, kiss his cheek etc or do we just . Just wondering.

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u know, reading comments from all the guys , it just demonstrates how women are treated by men which in itself is a reason why women cant help but cry. since men are more aggressive, u push us so hard that we can't take it and sadly men are not as compassionate as they claim to be, like whoever said that its ok for women to cry is BSsing, Believe it or not, like always, this world is still a Man's world , and u know why i say that, becoz today women are expected to be tough and critiqued similar to men and sometimes women struggle alot more than men in surviving and unfortunately, women don't get any sympathy for screwing up like you guys claim, and so many times women get sterotyped , in today's world , no one gives a Flick if a women gets hurt, men are cruel, to women, hence to fight back the abuse, sadly, women are toughening up, and who says women are allowed to show their emotions, women aren't treated any better than men unless afcourse she is Jessica Alba, and turst me this is coming from a early 20 something decent looking woman, afcourse i assume i will be receiving comments about my appearance, so typical of men,

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When emotions need to flow, they flow naturally. You don't need to stress yourself showing emotions when they don't come naturally. You don't necessarilly have to to kiss or hug to show emotions. Just be yourself.

Most men don't show emotions because they are just being themselves.

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As for my husband, I want an honest man as a husband. I fear liars more than murders b/c liars will never admit who they are. I don't like head games. If the man must cry over work then so be it. It's no cause for divorce. I'd rather that then him wanting to beat the sight out of me for "offending" him days later. Yes, my dear this is what men are made of. They are made to express themselves one way or another. A child who cries and a child who throws a tantrum are feeling the same thing. Only the articulation is different. To show emotion is to articulate one's show honestly & precisely. I don't think Z wants all men to start sobbing over drivel, but repression isn't healthy. Go well.

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I'm not talking about being too emotional. There are time you need to let your emotions show -- the only one men like to show is anger, which is plain wrong.

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Pls being less emotional is no crime. In fact most women don't like guys that are too emotional.

chinani, I know you won't like a husband who would be crying over a problem he had with his boss.

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In trying to mimick nature engineers have to adapt models that allow for variations. e.g Artificial Neural Networks and Fuzzy Logic. I don't want to divert too much, the point is that variations can be part of design.

If it's a matter of choice then why do more women choose to emotional and more men choose to be less emotional ?

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Tell them please, chinani. Even "Jesus wept."

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Examples: Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, & Napoleon to name a few.

These men were all strong & feared in their day and age and they also managed to convey emotions (i.e., cry semi-publically) while in power.

Also, women manage to be strong and show emotion.

Example: Catherine the Great (who wrestled power away from the rightful Czar who was her husband she had killed), Princess Di, Evita (who did much to create the modern Argentine society)

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That's a very chauvinistic view, in my opinion [no offence intended].

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cos we are men. dats y. men=strong, women=weak and cry and yapping about. we dont show emtion because that will make us so weak.

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IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD:

What I mean by design issue is that is how men are created.

Just like the fact like men cannot give birth.

When we talk of creation we only tend to think of physical things and forget concepts like fear, anger , shame e.t.c. Everything you can think of is a creation. Even ideas are creations in your mind.

NATURAL SELECTION: Over time men need to do things that requires they be brave. Things like protecting a territory, hunting , raids e.t.c. As you know bravery is not the absence of fear but the ability to overcome it. This gives most men the ability to hide many feelings apart from fear, since fear is one feeling that is very difficult to hide.

Note that the above are not theories, but my own views which I believe are OK.

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Interesting IG. Could you expantiate on the issue?

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The emotion thing is a "design issue". If you believe in GOD then, it's how man is created.

And if you believe in natural selection then men became like that so as to survive.

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Damn, age 5? That's awfully young. I cried about ten times or so every year up until I turned 10.

What the, why can't I use ellipses?

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Strong men do cry -- and there's nothing wrong in being weak.

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Emotions will make us look weak, and a lot of girls don't like guyz with too much emotions. Cry baby

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Please can we get back to why men aren't emotional?

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@IG

If it is a design issue then why are there so many variations in design? With so many varitaions, isn't it possible to say that it's really a matter of choice?

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Thank you allonym -- you seem a reasonable guy. However did the girls get pissed off at you?

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it is true. . he did nominate Seun.

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I nominate Seun for the wisest man in the house. Every man in the end remains what he is or becomes something else because of a woman.

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Most women also don't care about "being on top", "being the boss", "being in charge", "being the richest among my colleagues", "putting my spouse in her place", "earning proper respect", "defending my pride" and so many of the things that men are preoccupied with. But the thing is that they are able to get proper support for the things they care about while men are busy pretending not to care or trying to use brute force to get what they want.

I truly believe we live in a woman's world cleverly disguised as a man's world. We keep slaving away all day for the women thinking we're in charge and striving to remain on top!

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Personally, I think its better not to care. Some poeple don't think this is possible and will accuse you of bottling up your feelings. . .of course, if you truely apply this philosophy, you wouldn't care about that either.

Or. . be a lot more selective in the things you allow yourself to care about. For example, most men are easily able to not care about breaking nails, lassie getting killed, etc. Need to extend that to more things. .

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Most men are very emotional. The problem is that they are conditioned express their frustrations using explosive anger rather than crying or seeking support which is like an admission of helplessness. This may be why women generally live much longer than men despite the fact that it's a "man's world". Stoic people don't live long.

Personally, I don't cry because no-one is going to comfort me if I cry. So I'd rather fight the world than cry!

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I'm responding to your post because I love sharing ideas, so please don't get it twisted.

Back to your interesting discourse. Societal behaviors evolve over time. And if what you're advocating, which has nothing to do with the rights of a woman (we're talking about show of emotions), is not widely practiced, maybe it's not for the good of the majority. Until then, you have every right to promote it and try to convince more people that it is better than the norm.

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You seem to be among those who believe in putting women in their place. Now, I'm talking about learned behavior -- who decided it was the men to make decisions etc etc. Why can't women make decisions or why can't they exhibit some of the so called manly traits? I'm not saying they should -- I guess I'm just a natural wonderer.

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It's not about defending male pride. You can't advocate femininity as a means of relieving pressure for men. Most men has been able to handle pressure without having to "chicken" out. And those men that hasn't been able to handle pressure well will not have done so with tons of hugs and kisses. Behavioral pattern of both men and women has been borne out of age long cultural orientations, and it has worked for humanity.

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Thanks chinani. I hope the men in the house would stop defending their "manly pride" and come out.

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I agree w/ you about the learned behavior part. Yes, I think it can be unlearned. I'm a woman and all but I was raised to not cry too. My family doesn't hug and never kisses. A few years ago, when I went away to college, my siblings started hugging and kissing me, etc. I made me uncomfortable and I didn't like it, but I didn't resist either. Now, I love it as a form of self-expression. I didn't cry until recently either. Unlearning is difficult b/c it's like "well now I'm a baby" or a total "mush pot" or an "emotional female". You still think of all the stereotypes you've ever heard. I still don't let anyone in my family know that I've ever cried since age 5. (sigh) I know, it's different b/c I'm a girl. But point is: I do think an individual can unlearn, as for a whole group/gender. . . the jury is still out on that one.

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I'm analysing stereotypes and trying to find out why we act the way we do.

I'm of the opinion that this is learned behavior and I'm trying to find out how men would react to unlearning it -- or at least I want us to be more open and say what's really at the bottom of our minds.

Do you behave the way you do because that's the way everyone does -- or because you decided to, that's the kind of question I'm asking.

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That's what you think -- but that's why men feel lonely without a woman. Because they need the hugs and kisses -- and have you ever noticed how much closer men are in countries that men hug [Italians and French]?

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ooh boy, in this life, i've learned that i cannot based my decisions on someone else feelings

because someone is alwayz gonna have a problem with what ya do

so do what you want, what ya feel is right,

u cannot live life thinkin always of what others are gonna think,

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I started this thread hoping we men would confess to what makes us behave the way we do. Personally, I don't cry because I've found it hard to cry since I was little. As for fraternising with other boys, I don't think I'be hugged any boy before not because I see anything wrong in it but because the other person might find something wrong with it.

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That's better than "Men don't cry. They're better etc etc." Thumbs up Seun! Thanks Idekeson.

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as u can see, i also said maybe NOT,

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Its the quantity that varies.

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Both progesterone and testosterone have been found in both sexes, mind you Free.

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men are just protecting their ego, they belief when u cry, it makes u a baby, it doesnt appeal to all guys tho!

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Good point. There's a difference.

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I mean, I understand where you are coming from, its better to express your emotions, than let it take you to the point where you are actively hurting the other person (like by cheating on them).

I guess what I'm saying is that, I don't think men keep their emotions so tightly to themselves, that they would be more likely to seek . . . satisfaction. , happiness. . .somewhere else, rather than discuss the problem.

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@ allonym

Hmmm, I still perfer my example, but I see your issue w/ it.

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Sorry. I strayed from the question on this thread.

@ Idekeson

You say women "hinder conflict resolution". That is your opinion. But I think NOT expressing your feelings, no matter how seemingly unrelated or seemingly "conflicted", creates conflict!

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There is no argument here. . . I think I'm not quite getting the examples she was making.

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Now we're turning it into an argument with both sides trying to justify themselves. Can we return to the question in particular and forget about whose example is better.

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My example is better. I compare breaking a dish to being hungry.

You compare breaking a dish to adultery.

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In a conflict, men can articulate and clearly express their grievance but often times women project numerous conflicting signals, most of which are not directly related to the original disagreement. This is clearly because they let their emotions dictate their reaction. This fault of the female specie hinders conflict resolution in most relationships

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Wait, I'm confused. Which example to you think is better?

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