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Check This Out Please?any Criticisims?

Dare was holding Isabel's hands as they entered the park. Today they both had their days off, a rare occurence, which Dare immediately took advantage of by asking Isabel if she wanted to go out with him to which she quickly replied in the affirmative. As they sat on the bench, he leaned over to kiss and hug her and then he felt her freeze.

''What is it?'' he asked in concern.

''Tim ''she stammered, and he followed her gaze to Tim. He felt the rage boiling in him, and he clenched and unclenched his fists.

''What's he doing here''she asked.

''I dont know but i guess we are about to find out'' Dare said as Tim walked towards them.

''Isabel, so nice to see you again''he said.

''What do you want?'' asked Dare.

''I want to speak with Isabel alone''.

''Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of my husband''replied Isabel.

''Fine then. Isabel i want to know if we can continue our relationship from where we stopped.''

''Are you crazy?''asked Dare in anger.

''You did say that you wanted your husband to stay, didnt you?'' asked Tim.

''For your information , i am a happily married woman. So i cant and will not have anything to do with a conceited, arrogant, selfish, egocentric male chauvinist pig like you.''said Isabel to a shocked Tim.

''Isabel please go to the car, I want to have a word with this guy.'' said Dare.

''What, '' said Isabel who was interrupted by Dare.

''Please.'' he said.

''Fine'' said Isabel grumpily and walked off to the car.

''I dont have much to say to you, but i know that i mean every word i say. Stay away from my wife or you will regret the day you met her.''Dare said.

''What makes you think you can speak to me like that? Is it because you are sharing her bed? Well that's nothing, because i've been there before.'' said Tim furiously.

''You slimy bastard''said Dare with a smile and continued, ''Even if you were telling the truth, i couldnt care less, because Isabel is my wife now. But i know you are lying because Isabel, my wife was a virgin when i married her. Remember, stay away from my wife abd do have a horrible day.''said Dare leaving a stunned Tim behind.

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5 answers

9ice work thouqh,bt it almost lukd to me like it started frm the middle of knw whr.try and make ur suspense accurate,.

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Nice. So who's lying now, Dare, Isabel or Tim about the "who got there first"?? Lol, great teaser though. I hope there's more.

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Its good dear.

Pls continue and how could Dare have met Isabel a virgin if Tim said he's been there before?

I likey.

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I luv the way it ended. Very good man! But i would prefer if it began a little bit more attention-gripping-like. I don't really read romance novels anymore, so for such a novel to catch my attention it has to do so from the very first line. But that's just me. Millions of readers don't  have such requirements. Good work man!

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