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What Would You Call This Poem?2

hello,

           

i wrote this poem about a year or so ago,but i still kind of have it fresh on my mind.i would like a good or rather better poet to tell me what he or she thinks about it.

     

                                cry not brother

                               at my moment of departure

                               cause am not done

                                but only gone

                                if only you listen

                                you'll hear me calling

                                and when am singing

                                i only pray you'll stop mourning

                               cause am still very much around

                               and for the love by which we abound

                               I'll wait upon thee till the right time.

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11 answers

so wad up with this section anyways nobody is talking?

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@ Poster,

While this is poetry and belongs in the Poem Section, I'd say I think an appropriate title for your poem is "Lingering On" or "Lingering Presence"

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tx to you all.you're all such wonderful fellas.lots of love.you can mail me at nonso3k@yahoo.com

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Very emotional and beautiful poem.

As for the name. . .I go for Still Here

He's gone but still here.

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@Title

I prefer 'STILL HERE' because it is obvious the person speaking in the poem though gone is still very much around/alive (spirit) and promises to be till the appropriate time. He still lives on.

@nonso3k

The poem carries warmth and feeling though it could still be better.Permit me to make some alterations on the poem.

STILL HERE

Cry not brother

At my moment of departure

For I am not done

But only gone

If only you'd listen

You'd hear me calling

And when I'm singing

I pray you would stop mourning

Cause am still very much around

For the love by which we are bound

I'll wait upon thee till the right time.

This is not the best I could make of it but i didn't want to do much alteration.

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ok. i understand now. from your explanation, "gone" seems very appropriate

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EPITAPH is the best title. Pray, are you still alive?

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So I'm not the only one afterall. I always have a problem titling my works - maybe because I like condensed and uncommon titles and find it had sometimes to concoct one.

Let me try, um , well, maybe later

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@poster

nice poem.

@ojukwu

"Gone" sounds really nice. i love one word titles, but the poet says he is still very much around, probly still has unfinished business. i dnt really think "gone" is an appropriate title. wot do u think?

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I'm not a poet nor a literary critic, so I can't give you any advice relating to your poem. But I would like to say it's a nice poem and your words had meaning. I could feel the emotions in the construction of each phrase.

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