«Home

2 Girls are in my life..who should I marry ??

I wont bore u with details but I need a very honest and real contributions. I was in love with this girl and we dated for like 4 years. She's stuborn while I was a flirt. She caught me on 2 occasions in the act!. Later I traveled out of da country and told her to stay in ma apartment. I later cracked her email and read some mails that pointed to the fact that she's secretely dating another person. I was enraged and rang her phone to explain but instead for her to give me explanation, she just said she's no more interested in the relationship again, So we parted ways. I was deflated abroad and about a month after that I was hooked with another babe in nigeria. I have been to Nigeria to see her, she's calmer and not stubborn, and respect me a lot, but after about 5 months, my old flame came back begging me to take her back. Strange thing is I still found myself loving her and I still love this new girl a lot. I have met the new babe family and my family loves her. But to be honest ,I can't shake my ex from my mind. What do u suggest I do because I can't understand why she had to be begging?, Please give me concrete advice because I don't want to make mistake in ma marriage.

Avatar
Newbie
40 answers

@ poster

Funny question, kick the second girl and enjoy a real miserable

My friend do the right thing.I could have said love matters but thank your stars you have a feeling for the second one.

You know the answer , crazy silly guy

0
Avatar
Newbie

for u to break her password for her email shows u don't trust her. if u want long life and happy home, stick with the new girl like glue but if you want to die prematurely, go for your Ex.

0
Avatar
Newbie

pretty simple, u love both, u want 2 b wit both of dem, so marry d two of dem, its nt a crime bro, sharin is caring

0
Avatar
Newbie

Since you know the two girls better l suggest you choose the one you fancy the most

cause there is no way you can love the two girls by the same intensity

but if the choice was mine to make l would choose the newer girl sounds more decent l must say

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Nikegenius @ nairalanders

You are all darlings!. It's being a wonderful piece of advice that I have greatly benefitted from. It's amazing the ingenuity of the nairalanders. I really appreciate the babes and guys that hang out here. I hope that in the end I will be able to make a good decision that I wont ever regret, decision that wont be based on the physical but lasting platform. It's not easy as im trying to pull away from the forces of ma ex, it's not easy at all cos anytime i speak to ma new babe, she springs to ma mind and I always feel the guilt of double standard. More advice, if any still welcome

0
Avatar
Newbie

MT

Your ex is so smart. infact, she thinks she is too smart and u are buying into her smartness. For Christ's sake, u said she is 29. I hope you know that when girls start clocking 25, they want who to cling to. She feels you are her best bet.

You have the money i guess, u cant resist her too. what a thing to use against you. Dont tell me u believe the "you are the only one in my life".

Its all in the game.

Moreso, even if things might have gone better for both of u in marriage, the God of ur new girl whose heart you will break will make you suffer for it (and its you alone).

Pls make the best use of ur time b4 marraige to make the right decision. Once u say "I do", no turning back.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ MT

I think you should just move on with your life and stick with the new girl. What's past is past, thinking about the good old times (though i think this is the good old sex) is not the solution. All that protestation about you being the only guy for her and her not being happy without you is just a ruse to get what she wants. And the thing is @ her age most guys in Nigeria will probably wonder about her past and might be non-commital or just want to string her along for her ride and so she'll be like Y not try to get this guy (yourself) who's probably ready to settle down that go throught all the hassles of a new relationship and not knowing where it will eventually end.

I think you should just tune her out of your mind and focus on the new girl. Just make sure you are sure of what you want 'cos we can all just advise you, in the end it's your decision and you'll live with it for the rest of your life.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@KACHI @KATHERINAE

Those r wonderful comments that knocked me to the canvass. I appreciate them. Strange, I'm almost settled with these, but more views and opinios are welcome

0
Avatar
Newbie

blacknbold,

i completely disagree with u, i dont really believe he is still in love with his ex, i think he just finds her attractive thats all, take me for example after breaking up with my ex he still bothered me and bothered me because he was physically attracted, i mean we had nothing in common, and i barely even called him. so i believe MT is just going through a physical thing, its ok MT it happens to the best of us, i dont believe u love ur ex, ifnot u wouldnt even be asking for ur advice, u just find her more attractive than ur new one hence the hesitation. well pick ur ex and see what happens.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I think for MT to bring this issue up in the first place its because he is thinking of life with his ex and that only happens when you are in love with someone , you are still inlove with your ex, and except you kill that feeling you are not going to feel good about yourself, what gives you the guarantee that your new girl will not cheat , remember girls are good pretenders, also remember there is no one that does not have a dark past (if not all most ), for those that don't they tend to cheat while married ,,,it sounds dumb but its true ,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Dude, U may love her but the question to ask is if the feeling is reciprocated? A woman will have nothing to do with u (no matter how much u love her) if she doesnt love u. and hey, if she did it once, she'll do it again to u, All she needs is someone to fill up the gaps when she's in transit, dont be a spare tyre oh.

You need to get rid of all those feelings u feel for her and move on with your life. This new girl seems nice and doesnt deserve the heartbreak you'll cause her if u decide to run back so if u love her like u say, then stick with her.

0
Avatar
Newbie

MT

let me give u some advice, there is a reason y she hasnt married someone else yet, no matter how pretty or independent she may come off, dont u think other brothers would have noticed. i believe thta there is something other men in naija are noticing that u arent. Good looks, and good sex get old, as weird as that sounds, they do. take ur time and make the right decision. u have a hard one to make, do u really want a woman like this who can approach ur gf mother and lie about abortin a child to be the mother of ur children, would u want ur kids to exhibit this type of behavior. I would be highly ashamed if when i had children they acted like this. Try thinking of ur future, and remember someone cheated not once and not twice but a lot of times on halleberry, tyra and all the most beautiful women out there, so clearly good looks is not going to keep u faithful, or make u happy in the future,, when it will matter hte most.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ cutie

That's a wonderful piece of advice. I have to see the face of God in the most earnest way. I'm nota perfect man but I hope God will still speak to me cos Im having a nightmare of life now. Thanks once again

0
Avatar
Newbie

MT , MT , MT

How many times did i call you

I want to tell you this , if you are still in love with ur ex there is no way u can move on with a new person even if shes queen of the coast

so be careful ,,everyone makes mistakes ,,you haven't seen the new girls bad side /mistake thats y u think  u love her . once you do , you will run back to

ur ex and it may be too late

0
Avatar
Newbie

MT

Dont worry, i will keep praying for u not to make a big mistake.

She was not right to cheat on u in anyway.

Wish you all the best as u make the most important decision of ur life.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ MY PEACE

This is not funny at all o. It's ur advice I need not castigation or disdain. If u read all ma posting, u will realise It's situation that made me to end with 2 girls and no by being a playboy

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ Nikegenius

Your words really touched me, i must confess. I see myself as selfish and mean !. My new girl is wonderful. Even when I wrong her, she still apologise to me. She hates seeing me getting angry. She will do all to make me glad. I just PRAY that I will be able to overcome this "PULL" towards me ex. I'm struggling hard to shake her off, but she cling like a flea. Please, pray with me, because im not having the best of time.

But was my ex right to cheat on me cos she caught me cheated TWICE?. Was it a tenable excuse?, cos I use to think of this most times.

Further honest and candid opinion will be welcome.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Personally, i feel ur ex has something she wants to gain from u. What makes you feel she has been approached by the best of men. May i tell you that those girls you think heaven fall for might not be so appealing to some good men. Either they think she has someone already or those that want her are married. Maybe she just wants u for show off. it could even be a bet. maybe the person she left u for has offended her a lil and she wants to use u against him. there are a lot of maybesssssssssss.For her to have gone to tell ur girls mum to hands off, thats bad of her.and plsssssssss let the new girl go if you have to becos you want know ur realise the blessing you wil get from her until she experience tough times with ur ex when u both get married.

As they say, you dont know the worth of what you have until you loose it. Let some other decision making guys give her rest of mind for Christ sake.

I know she will be hurt but i will personally pray for her to get someone better than you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

my mistake blacknbold but u know girl he has to open his eyes and make the right choice now to avoid divorce later cos its not African to divorce cos when 1+1 in the lord is 1.so i just hope u opens his eyes and forget about the things he likes in his ex and try to build them up in his new found love.

0
Avatar
Newbie

theres nothing like screwed for life cause theres now something called divorce

0
Avatar
Newbie

man.i must say u love ur ex but she doesn't she is after the goodies cos she is missing that.u have to be strong.open ur eyes and erase this love for her off ur mind or u are screwd for life if u try to marry her.capice

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ MT

Please leave the new and marry the old! If not you will keep cheating on the new! You dont love the new, she was a mere stopgap and you're just afraid of hurting her or you're trying to eat your cake and have it!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Guy,we are in the same shoes,but remember the one you like outside sex is the one to go for.How did you do your yahoo password crack,I need tolearn that.

0
Avatar
Newbie

hi,its such a sad situation u find urself in between u should make a decision that would not hurt ur new girl not just that only u can as well make the wedding arrangements as quick as possible so as to give ur ex a rest from you .

marry the new girl as u reaalized she suits ur taste.

0
Avatar
Newbie

If I were to be honest with u guys, there r basically 2 things that I remember about ma ex--her beauty and the way we make love. Though 98% of people say ma new girl is prettier but I don't know if they say this to console me so that I could forget about my ex or it's me that somethin has blindfolded. And to make matter worse, my ex has gone to confront my new girl's mum that her daughter is trying to snatch her husband. Though not in a violent way, she went to discuss the issue with her that her mum should help her to tell her daughter to hands off. I still speak to ma ex and ma new girl till now, and I don't av time against my side. I need to mak a concrete decision pretty soon. And moreso, before me and ma ex parted , we did introduction and , same has been done to ma new babe. But ma ex keeps flashing to ma mind. I hate it that I find it so hard to make my decision, but I can't explain what is actually happenin. My ex even insinuates that my new girl is respecting me just because she's trying to pretend not to show her true colour for now. The last time i was in Nigeria, i DID the terrible, I slept with ma ex secretly, and later she had to tell me that she's pregnant. She made a fuss about it to the extent that ma new girl heard about it. she felt so bad, but I challenged ma ex to let's go to hospital for test and she declined. She said since I refused to accept the pregnancy, she'd go and terminate it. She said she terminated it already now. I never knew if it's true she got pregnant though, but I'm back abroad and she's still begging, and telling me that it's not that she's not being approached by men that are even better than me, but that she cant explain why she doesnt love them but ME!. Im confused!!. Please, contribute because im not enjoying my life at all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hey HT man.to be candid u cant be in love with 2 ppl.Ur ex should be let alone.and forge ahead with this Ur new GF.cos i see that Ur ex is a greedy fella she cant just take u for a spare tire and when her BF goes wrong she comes back to u beggin.thats bullshit.marriage not about making he happy while u are not.its about both of u being happy.so man kill that love u have for Ur ex and increase that u have for Ur new found love.whoever will be patient with u even when u are wrong as a man is worth spending the rest of Ur life with.try to ignore what u feel for Ur ex.aight.hope u get me.

0
Avatar
Newbie

go for the old girl, she's the one you truly love and NOT the new girl. You cheated on your ex and she decided to move on, now she's returned pls let her back!

If you married the new girl, you'd spend the rest of your days thinking of how life would have been if you had married your ex. you wont be happy and neither will your new girl!

0
Avatar
Newbie

omo u cant eat ur cake and hav it,my own opinion is u shd go 4 the new girl.the choice is urs.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i am not trying to impose anything on him, but remember i said untimately at the end it is his decision, you are trying to say the new girlfriend is an angel in disguise, pleaseeee give me a break. put urself in the new gf's shoes would you want to get hurt bcoz some guy can't make up his mind. but hey he and his ex deserve each other, so they could keep cheating on each other.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@kheme. Ur name sounds ugly, hence u must b ugly n kindly kip ur ugly ideas about WOMEN 2 ursef. Cant imagin d sort of women u'v got in ur , As 4 u ima1. Y r u tryin 2 impose ur idea on him. Rimemba he knos dis grl beta dan we all do. He may b confus, pls dnt make his case worst. I feel if he wnts 2 go 4 his ex, he has his reasn. D angel u dnt kno is worst dan d devil u kno. Boy ur decisn is as gud as mine. I wnt mix words in telin u 2 go 4 ur ex. Suces.

0
Avatar
Newbie

why r ppl saying the gurl cheated? didn't da dude cheat and was caught red handed? its ur choice, we can't tell u wat 2 do

0
Avatar
Newbie

ok stop making F****** excuse for you ex, if you want to get back with her then do it but trust me u are gonna regret it, there is no excuse for anyone to cheat, if you are not going to stay with ur new girlfriend then tell her now and stop stringing her along. but i keep maintaining this, "what goes around comes around". you obviously want to be with your ex if all you do is remind yourself of the good times, no one ever thinks of the bad times and when you get back together all the bad stuff comes up and you regret getting back together. just don't hurt the new girl she doesn't deserve this and you don't even deserve her.

i hate when guys can't make up their minds, you always want your ex and hurt the other ones trying hard to make you happy, makes me think you guys don't deserve happiness.

everyone on here has said stay with the new girl, they all have reasons for saying it. but at the end its up to you. do watever u want. you can't eat you cake and have it. please make a f**king decision.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I'm quite happy with the response I have got from the Nairaland users. I agree with every bits of it, but one thing is that while I was actually with my ex, I was a big-time I flirt. I now have this feeling that my action then drove her to cheat on me as well. Though, she had always maintained that she didnt sleep with any man even after we broke up. She claimed that she was trying to fool the guy on the email, that she didnt have anything attached. She even swore to this. I wouldnt know how far that's true though. But I find myself discussing the nice moments I had with my ex with my new babe consciuosly or unconsciously, and it's hurting her. I always feel bad after though. And another confusing thing is that my ex is so beautiful that I know she would not have any problem with hooking up with a guy, but she continues to plead profusely and cry for me to have her back, and I always remeber the good old days when this happens. I love her and I still love my new girl. It's delaying me from making up my mind about the issue of marriage. I don't know if what is happening to me is normal. I hate to make my new girl feel like a stop-gap sort. Moreso,my ex is running her own business, she has money (she's not back cos of money), she only says that she cant love any other person but me, and she normally says I shouldnt make her life miserable. Please contribute

0
Avatar
Newbie

Dude

Go for the new babe.

Old things have passed away.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Don't you know your own feelings abi heart? In d end, the final decision still lies with you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

okay i hate when guys do stuff like that and end up hurting the poor girl that decides to give you her heart, remember once a cheater, always a cheater, if you want someone who will cheat on you in the future then go with your ex, but remember what goes around comes around. trust me you will regret hurting that poor girl. anyway i think you should watch this movie on www.onlinenigeria.com, the movie is called FORCES OF NATURE.

your experience is pretty similar.

i will say dump the ex, or you will regret it in the future, and you can't just hurt someone for no reason.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Men she cheated on you.r u sure she's changed? after he told u she was nolonger interested?

0
Avatar
Newbie

the answer lies within u cos i don't believe u can be in love with both girls at the same time. U gotta love one more.

Morever with ur stubborn ex, the one that cheated on u? be sure not to make the same mistakes twice.

The new girl respects u, u need to consider that.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.