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After She Tests Positive To HIV: Would You Still Marry Her?

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please folks stop instilling fear into the minds of readers of this forum, hiv is just a viral infection and tremendous progress has been made in the manegement of the infection, the only thing you will beg God is to spare you from the scourge,every body should be concerned, its either you re infected or you are affected.There are millions who have the virus today but are oblivious of the fact,any one of you in this forum may be developing the virus unknown to him or her, so turn the table around and put yourself in the shoes of someone who has the virus.please let us work hard to stop the stigma attached to this virus because if we do, things will turn out better.remember there are medications to control it and if you re on medication, you cannot pass the virus to your spouse or lover, the key is knowledge.in as much as we continue to hide our head in the sand like the ostrich, we will continue to habour this virus and give it the impetus to rule our lives.

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With HIV growing at an alarming rate- not just in Africa, but all over th world, it makes no sense to completely ostracise the infected.

Nowadays there are non_HIV people who date and even marry HIV-people, without it affecting their lives - much. It has been said that is is possible to date and even have sex with a HIV positive person without catching the virus yourself. If the HIV person is on medication, the chances of them being infectious to others is very low, especially if it's a woman as it is statiscally harder for women to pass the the virus on than it is for a man to pass it on. Practise safe sex, always and you would not get infected. Even mixed couples (where one is positive and the other is not) who do have unprotected sex often escape the risk of transmission, especially if the HIV positive one is on medication - not that am saying you have unprotected sex with HIV positive person ooooo!

New medications are being developed all the time and a lot of HIV positive people live happy, healthy active lives - the survival rates has increased to more than 30/40 years and the scientists are actively searching for a vaccine and then a cure

With regards to children, once again, a lot of healthy children are being born to same-status couples (couples who are both HIV positive) and mixed-status couples (couples where only one is HIV positive). The mother is administered medication in pregnancy, the baby is via Cesearean section and given medication for a few months after birth - alll this results in a completely healthy child, completely free of the virus.

In any case, in answer to the topic, it would be very hard for me to make that decision if i was in that situation - it all depends on the strength of love between us.

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Omo i know that love is blind o but you better wear sun glasses or ask Ray Charles to borrow you his own.

Be very careful in the choices you make.

Its ok for you to be with her but what about the unborn kids you are planning to have. They didnt ask for this and its unfair to lump this on them even before they are born.

Everybody deserves to be loved but you just need to think about this well and think about the long run effects.

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Douzy,

I do. Let me let u understand where I am coming from. What's the difference between sin & death? HIV leads to AIDS. So, what's the big deal. Honestly, I do not think it would be advisable for me to still relate with this person sexually [knowing the health consequences], but I can still show her love and support.

But as for MARRIAGE? NO WAY.

Meanwhile, what is your full name? Your screen name reminds me of one classmate I used to have who now resides in Abuja. His name is Dozie Esemonu. Could you be the one?

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@otuonye

Obviously, you don't know the difference between HIV and AIDS.

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Anybody wey dey talk say him go marry girl wey carry HIV don dey crazeee. Have you see a picture of a patient before? Do u know what they look like? Na im you dey talk say you wan marry am?

Ok now, marry am. But remember say na "till death do you part". As for me, I will check whether I have the disease, if I do, only on that reason can I marry her, but if I am negative, o boy, agbafuolam oooooo.

Candid Advice

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well, as long as d pple involved r careful wit alot of tins, i ttttink they'll end up 2gda, 4 me,i tink it's safe not 2,cos one cnt be too careful.

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hey folks, I'll advise that we all get involved in active biomedical studies than making unqualified statements. don't forget that Africa , our home, has the largest number of HIV-Patients! how to get involved actively u asked? start a biomedical university program or support actively those doing this.

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I just read that HIV is different than AIDS. Well thats wrong. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS (which is the desease). If you have a baby with her it is more likely that the baby will have the virus after birth. The virus passes from the mother to the child durring birth most of the times. If she is just a carrier of the virus (that means that she does not have the symptoms of AIDS, the virus is at " sleep" ) she is okay , but she can pass the virus through sex or blood contact.

So you choose what you are going to do, It is a risk, But first be sure If you are infected too or not.

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lol. . . where did you get this from?

@poster, you actually contemplatin on marrying a HIV victim?

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@Brymore

What makes you think a cure is almost here? Let's know the facts and your sources, else you might be misleading some folks here, knowingly or unknowingly,

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If I went into the relationship for love, I would still marry her (We can have sex and children without me contacting the virus if we want to), but if I go into the relationship for some other reason, it will be the natural thing to let her off. Only thing is, u might drive her to do something bad to herself as she would think life is not worth living if she truely loves u (she would not tell u her status unless she did). Love should have no boundaries, besides, HIV will soon have a cure, there are so many ways of reducing it's impact and effects already.

#Candid Submission#

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Hmm,i go run 40-40, my leg no go touch ground and wit immediate effect go for a check-up.

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Hmm,i go run 40-40, my leg no go touch ground and wit immediate effect go for a check-up.

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Hmm,i go run 40-40, my leg no go touch ground and wit immediate effect go for a check-up.

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Anotha reason pre-marital sex could cause problems!!, i wouldn't sleep with any1 b4 they get tested 4 HIV in my presence n get the results!!. In ur situation though, i wouldn't waste any tym mannn, i would end the relationship but will still be there to support them,

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HIV Ke? O boy i go flee. what else do i av 2 do with her? Though i will give her the neccessary support and encouragement. As for the relationship. LAYE LAYE

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first is to know weather you are also infected, and secondly, what is the need getting married when we are both infected of it(HIV)? is it to start producing HIV infected babies?

still, if i go for a test and i'm negative, na thanks giving for church naaah, and after then i go cable without looking back. afterall she go don go get am somwhere wey i no no

more seriously, i will terminate that love making relationship and start a new caring one.

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HIV can de cured so i think if u really love her go ahead and marry her

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What do u mean by this please!!!!

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What do you mean by nullifying the effect of the virus during SEX? Never heard of that before.

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I can marry her,AIDS is only a virus whose effect can be nullified&it dies!it's only a matter of nullifying d effect during SEX

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I can marry her,AIDS is only a virus whose effect can be nullified&it dies!it's only a matter of nullifying d effect during SEX

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It's matter of opinion. I think I'd still love her -- I'm being realistic -- but obviously, I'd like to find out how she contracted it. I won't say I won't be disappointed if I discover it came about thru sex [if it's molest I'll be full of pity], but I'll hang on and assist. I hate seeing people with HIV/AIDS stigmatised. I'm sure if AIDS had a cure people wouldn't have a problem with that -- I know at least one person's soulmate here has had an std like Gonnorhea and it was easy to forgive.

Compatibility-wise, I would be lying if I say I'd still get married to her -- she'll definitely understand.

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i would marry her if i ws the one who gave it to her in the first place. otherwise, peace out to that relationship.

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u are very right aljohnson, HIV is different from AID'S and love can conquers them all.

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Since HIV is not AIDS and you can have your baby without the baby having the virus, i think if you truly love the person you can go on with the marriage

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See also: If You Find Out That Your Lover is HIV Positive

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This is serious what kind of question is this?I'm sure the person that asked this question already know the answer. This is life we are talking about here,what if the one u loves dies,can't u stay?so if the one u love has HIV then show empathy,but be careful u too don't contact it.

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for her to be HIV positive and am not could mean the girl had played an away match. how she got infected will come into the issue. if no reasonable convincing explanation is offered, then ..so long! but if i can be convinced(be it a well packaged lie) that she wasnt sleeping around, i will hang on and support her till death comes calling. but Marriage?? OTI O! that is the end of that.

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I might not marry her but then I will still love her and assist her.

We will still be friends and no stigma will be attached.

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Since im planning to not have premarital sex. I will be sure that i dont have it too. And then, wetin i go dey wait for again?? Nna, im sorry.. but it cannot work.

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First, i'll find out if i am infected too. If i am, then i'll go ahead with the marriage 'plans'. But if i am not, i 'll scram with style!

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For me, the issue should not be about scramming, it is knowing and being sure i am not infected. Then I will know what to do.

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i go take style scram *tip toe away quietly*

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So long, Farewell, Auf wiedersehen, Goodbye.

Nah so I go tell the gal, comot. HIV nah love killer.

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