«Home

Boy Lives Abroad, Girl lives in Nigeria. Should he remain faithful?

This is a situation of a boy; what would you do?

He lived all his life from a toddler to the age of eighteen in the great land Nigeria, and after that he was relocated to the US. Of course he had a girlfriend in Nigeria, and they planned to get married and they were both very understanding but on getting to America he finds new friends that made him to understand that almost all the girls in the new countries are [sexually promiscous].

Now the Qestion:

Does he stay faithful to his girlfriend or does he play along with his friends and still go home to marry his so much loved girlfriend? Put this in mind he does not have feelings for the [promiscous girls].

Avatar
Newbie
57 answers

He should, ideally. But if she is not able to and he cant manage to travel back and forth at reasonable intervals will either of them be able to?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why cant you visit Nija often or is that isnt a possibility.

The decision is obviously yours. Why go into something with your new 'friends' that you know isnt going anywhere.

Be very careful cause if you say you wanna 'chop clean mouth' there may be dire consequences that will follow.

I understand the pressure you are in cause you wanna fit in but think very hard before you step into their world - obviously if you are thinking this way that means you have a good heart and a good conscience.

Omo, there are many that have taken the steps you are thinking of taking and have ended up in big time regrets. Its hard but omo you just have to ask God to strengthen you.

Ask yourself this question, How would you feel if your girl is doing the same thing?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why shldnt he remain faithful?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why shldnt he remain faithful?

0
Avatar
Newbie

cheat but dont get caught

0
Avatar
Newbie

I dont beleive in long distance relationships. My take is that the guy should break the relationship with his Nigerian girl. If or when he comes back they can hook up if they wish to

0
Avatar
Newbie

if he truly loves her than we can remain faithful

0
Avatar
Newbie

What ever the boy does over there is his business. My advice to the lady is, girl, you get down with anyone you wanna get down with. You might be losing a lot of chances if you are pining for a guy 5000 miles away from you. Whenever he gets back to Nigeria and you are available for him to hit it off with, then what have you got to lose? You go for it baby.

0
Avatar
Newbie

He should remain faithful. But he wouldnt!

0
Avatar
Newbie

maame is right. but i am in a longdistance relationship now and this wld be me last one hopefully. if anything shld happen with me present relationship (hopefully nothing shld happen) i wld not go into any long thingy anymore.it hard to cope with and not all u wish or hope for come too past.

0
Avatar
Newbie

tayonita that is a funny Bottom diagram. Me BF is in the State and i am in England. i still believe he shld remain faithful to me. if u cant be faithful in a longdistance relationship why end up having one.if u cant let ur partner know how u feel by telling him or her that u can not cope and u wanna still mess about but u love her than any other gurl and still have a relationship together or both of ya to split up.

0
Avatar
Newbie

from what i have been seeing on television and hearing on air i will rather forget about the guy and continue with my life cos he will end up dumping you after a long period waiting. they are all the same after making alot of promises cos out of 100% about 3.4% fulfill their promises even with that he might have already seen other gals so as for this it doesnt work so my advice to both is that they better continue with their life but if the guy is not going to stay for long i think she can wait for him even with that hmm..........................

0
Avatar
Newbie

Everyone Remember a guy has needs.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Don't take the advantage of that, just do it,

0
Avatar
Newbie

The pix you posted reminded me that there was a pix trend we've not been able get you convinced to post your pix.

But with recent development between Pkrix and pinky I start to have a re-think.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Where did you see the pix you posted on this forum, Tayo? You're to post your pix and not this. So we are still waiting.

0
Avatar
Newbie

tayotina I am cool with you anyway, just trying to settle things down now.

I cannot get angry at you jare. you are one of the few female realists on this site.

0
Avatar
Newbie

In that case Vieira, we are sorry.

0
Avatar
Newbie

what rufee said was too generic and he should not have said it.

but the same should also go for when the girls make statemens like: men are all players or all men just want one thing, sex.

fair is fair

0
Avatar
Newbie

Tayo don't take it too hard ok....

you know guys na.......,they just wan yarn

0
Avatar
Newbie

What you guys don't know is that, whatever you say on this forum affects at least one person. We all know how to insult but we just have to control ourselves sometimes.

I don't tolerate nonsense and as such I would not have anyone talk to me anyhow. If I decide to remain silent at times, that doesn't mean I don't know what am doing.

This wouldn't be the first time this sort of this is happening. It's just not fair.

0
Avatar
Newbie

please someone should appologize to Tayotina.....

My mum is a nigerian pleeeeeeeese,because of her, lets respect Nigerian women.

rufee....na u i di talk to oh.(u could have used the word "some"or "most")

0
Avatar
Newbie

I think its high time we start accepting that cheating is ok.. especially when ur loved one is very far from u .

u just want someone u can hold, kiss, and talk to, someone who can pet u..

we are not monks for God sake, The girls cheat too, thats for sure. but who cares..if she cheats on me i cheat on her...what matters is we love each other and someday we will open the secretes to each other perhaps after marriage.it will be fun.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ rufee,now that is a very VERY wrong thing to say. Statistically, that statement is false. You might say majority, you might say most, but to just throw a blancket on all Nigerian girls and call them unfaithful abeg...

0
Avatar
Newbie

he could remain faithful but for her being a nigerian girl. i doubt much, nigerian girls are never faithfull to their man.

0
Avatar
Newbie

how will that prove anything? you can just put names who will confirm if they are players or saints?

which kind test be that??

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well I present a challenge to you. For every "playa" you post, i will post a committed guy. We have to be honest here. You can use pseudonyms if you want.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Flint, when I say guys will always be guys, I know what am talking about.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Their ego my lady , their ego, guys do not like their ladies to feel, they are crazy about them. They like to be at the upper egde. They normally think that when a lady sees that you are crazy about her, she misbehaves. And i agree to some extent.

0
Avatar
Newbie

So why don't they show it kazey boy? Why do they have to hide their feelings from us. Making us feel as if we are forcing ourselves on them?

Kazey you mean you don't know or you just don't want to accept the fact that guys would always cheat?

As for that pix, I did not get it from a feminist website ok?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Guys will always be guys, they would cheat no matter what. Both parties are supposed to be committed in a relationship but unfortunately it is not so. The lady puts in all her heart while the guy just doesn't care.

Imagine this:

0
Avatar
Newbie

To the best of my knowledge, it is not RIGHT. If we are to look at it from the point of how much commitment is involved then a scale has to be put into consideration. Firstly, how much have they put into it? Secondly, are they really thinking of marriage before he left? Also, how long can both of them hold for?

I am in the Uk and i really know what it takes to keep your eyes away from the torment of attractive bodies. Now if the relationship is not grounded enough on good foundation then the guy will cheat. I am not saying the guy SHOULD cheat but i know he will cheat.

Let us not forget the girls of today too! there is no two way about it that she won't cheat. She will hide under the umbrella that she does not know what the guy is "doing" abroad so she won't want to waste her time for nobody.

My believe is no two relationship is the same but the parties involed are the two very people that can their own way forward. People are meant to err but the power of reconciliation is what actually determine how far a relationship can go.

Thank you house

0
Avatar
Newbie

If the distance is brought about by education, and the guy or lady is in a univesity that is flodded with active beautiful guys and ladies, and the guy and lady is a normal and happening person, how long would that guy or lady be idle?

I wonder?

0
Avatar
Newbie

you guys need to be jokers. You expect a guy at this age to be celibate? Abeg that is not even being realistic. We are looking for realistic solutions not ideal solutions.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Greatpeter, why not LIST a way out for him to achieve your idea (i want to know also), but remember those friends that pointed out the promiscuous lifestyle of most ladies are still around him.

0
Avatar
Newbie

He should remain faithful ever

0
Avatar
Newbie

Yes he should remain faithful. If he wants to wait he should wait.  If he is able to bring the babe over fine but he should believe that if the relationship continuous the way it is right now and the babe cannot come over, he will also become promiscuous knowingly or unknowingly whichever way he wants to call it. Very few people are sincere with themselves nowadays.

0
Avatar
Newbie

they should forget their marriage plans. IF the guy and girl can wait they should wait. There is no way both of them won't cheat at some point.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I believe that sex can be seperated from deep feelings and both guys and girls can have sex with one person while in love with somebody else. If the guy feels that he cannot stay faithful to his girl then what I would do in his shoes would be to tell the girl hey I still love you but right now I don't want to end up cheating on you and losing you in the long run so why don't you do your thing back home and I'll do mine here and if we are meant to be together then someday when I'm more mature and ready to maintain a deep, loving and faithful relationship I'll come back for you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

18 what is that age a baby i should say

fact is kids this days are promiscuous so i cant say abstan but i think its no business of theirs going the marriage lane and they have alot ahead so distractions should not be welcomed

0
Avatar
Newbie

Simply 4 the ladies out there if u have a guy living abroad, he will swear to u that he has never touched a woman but 4 SURE he has. The women over here in the west are not sexually inhibited like african women and go after a guy if they like the guy just to experience what he is like esp if he is handsome. Not that u would blame the guy cos i dont see any guy suffering in the midst of plenty. Sorry seun no offense meant but even u would join the band waggon. I mean its more than a question of principle, reality is involved

0
Avatar
Newbie

I think its very bad,one: you cheat on your fiancee and two:you probably hurt someones feelings very badly.

One thing we have to understand is that everywhere on this planet,people have different cultures and values about different things. Say in Nigeria now, a girl of 22 who has slept with more than 10 guys is regarded as promiscous but in these foreign countries it is regarded as nohing.that's ours and their cultural orientation. The girl might well in her own culturally-tuned mind be falling in love and sex is the only tangible expression of love she knows while the guy might be feeling that "[I]oh you silly LovePeddler,you've known me for only two days and you are already sleeping with me[/I]" no!

Please guys if you have a fiancee just be true to her no matter where you find yourself and there wont be need for all this talk.

The sermon is ended. Chikena!

0
Avatar
Newbie

naive? i wouldn't hace sais so ordinarily, i was just stating a likely possibility, anyway whatever makes u happy.....

0
Avatar
Newbie

Maybe I'm naive but I am certainly holding out for this 'rare' specimen myself!

0
Avatar
Newbie

^^^exactly. naija/US relationships are mostly nonsense anyway. both parties usually end up getting some on the side. i would advise to separate from the naija girl. if y'all are truly meant to be together you'll find your way back.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.