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Boyfriend Or Sister?

My sister and I have been very close since young and we basically tells each other on every single thing!!! even sex, bf's (well, thats her cause I dont do or have any that time), what underwear are we wearing and so on. . .

But ever since I have a bf, I dont tell her anything about the both of us. . . its not like I dont want to tell her its because at the earlier stage, when I talk to her about him, she always bash him up (My sister does not really like me dating a foreignor to begin with and also I just feel that ever since I have a bf, she feels like she's being left out) and also she always compares my bf to her newly wedded husband.

Like if my bf does not really favour eating sweet food, she would say this. . . I dont understand your bf! If frezer can eat it I dont see why he cant! Is he gay or what?!

You know,. . . Stuff like that can be very hurtful . .

And than theres one day she mock him again and I got so angry that I mock her husband back and we were really fighting like wild cats and dogs. and than soon she told me that ever since I have that foreignor bf of mine, I have never payed attention to her. . .  she is the same anyways with her hussband but I have never complaint. . .

Mind you, I have tried to plan outings with her and her husband and my bf and I together but my sister does not like it at all. . . She's that typical Malaysian whom likes to mixed with her own kind and is not comfortable mixing with other race. . . well. . . apart from the whites

Guys, will you be at your bf's side or your sister side?

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15 answers

You will have to sit you sister down and tell her your with your bf for six years & your going to be with him a lot longer than that, that he is a big part of your life & you love him to bits & that she hurts your feelings when she mocks your bf, & explain to her while you appreciate her buying food for you all, that your bf does not like sweet food, that she should not take offence that your bf does not eat the food she bought, or if in future she does mock your bf do not rise to her, turn the deaf ear to her when she mocks your bf it will be hard but when she sees she is not getting to you she will soon tire of mouthing off cos she wont be getting a reaction out of you,

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~ So Gabby u stil tink u'r whyt? Dnt make me laff, u're black inside! ~

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@ gab, its unbelievable u're not a nigeria, u write like one,u even know the slangs,

there's nothing like family, you can't substitute ur bf for ur sister,

soldier go soldier come, you might not end u with ur bf, but u're stuck with ur sis for life

my advise, be very diplomatic

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Oh dear. . . So dont tell me if they get married, their going to be like that forever?

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Not me. But a my friend's sister hated his girlfriend and used to have only nasty things to say about her when she came to visit (not as mean or as blatant as your sister though. but just little insults and digs and put-downs). And my friend just tried to make sure that they were kept separate and like his mom and cousin helped too by creating interference between the sister and the girlfriend so that they didn't have much interaction.

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Damn ur sister.there's nothing 2 be confused about.she mussn't force anything on d poor guy.if i were him i might hit and teach her some lessons.

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Tatase,

Ok, thanks. Ill try that and see how it goes. have you ever had this problem before?

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Don't try to engage the two of them in conversations together; as in don't try to make them get along. Like even though it's an effort, try to keep them apart as much as possible even at home. Don't be open to any discussions about him with your sister. Like still be friendly with her and talk and laugh as usual, but shut down any conversations that she tries to start about your boyfriend; just tell her that she never has anything good to say about him and that she's entitled to her opinion but you'd rather talk about something else with her because he makes you happy and you don't want to argue with her, then immediately switch topics to something trivial or funny without giving her time to come back with something mean. Try to spend time alone with your boyfriend without your sister (even when you're home) and try to do the same with your sister; you don't all have to hang out en masse especially since there's a lot of antagonism there. It will be tough, but I don't think it's impossible.

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Well the problem is that if he comes to my hometown, he automatically stays in my family's house and my sister is always here as well so how can I avoid? its really impossible ooo

However, yeah i would try to do the part where I tell her and dont want to talk bad about her husband.

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I think to keep the peace just keep your love life (with your boyfriend) separate from your family life (with your sister) for now. They don't have to be best friends, even though obviously it would be easier if they at least got along.

There's no real need for your sister and your boyfriend to interact since they can't get along but make time to hang out one-on-one with your sister because it's important to maintain family ties and also its not nice to ignore your family/friends just because of love. However, when u guys are hanging out, just keep the discussions off your love life and if she asks about him, just tell her that you don't like what she has to say about him but that YOU like him/he makes u happy, and then change the subject to something else.

Also don't say bad things about her husband and if she persists in talking badly about your boyfriend, excuse yourself from your hang out session and leave so that things don't get into a nasty screaming match again.

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Qs:

1. Does she say them to his (ur bf's) face, and if not does ur bf know that she says such behind his back?

2. Are your parents and/or her husband aware of what she says?

3. Whats ur bf's opinion of ur sis?

Your best option is to avoid having to choose between your bf and ur sis, as they play different roles in your life

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I can understand your conflict. You have to think more about this. If forced, what side would you choose and could you live with that decision?

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I hope so iice.

speaking about my grandparents in the past washing clothes. . . I honestly got oofended when there was one time we went to a chinese restaurant to eat and my father ordered Chicken Feet Stew. Well. . . when we were young, we use to eat it alot just that it has been such a long time that we have not eaten it and my sister was complaining saying that those chicken feet is dirty and disgusting because it touches the ground and it steps on all those poo and all. . . I was thinking as if she dont eat it before like all the time.

I dont know what is going on with her. . . But I came to a conclusion that I just feel like Im on my bf's side and not hers especially when I think that she is wrong.

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DO NOT TAKE SIDES.***Keep them away from one another.Do not talk to your sister about your Bf and do not talk to your bf about your sis.***Stay Neutral.

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she's racist? Oh well except to whites of course.

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