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Can A Relationship Survive A Break?

After going out with someone for 3 and a half years, I decided we should take a break,

see other people, grow apart for sometime, the thing is there's not timeframe fixed and it's all my idea.

He isn't happy about it and we promiseed to stay in touch and remain friends the whole time.

I need your sincere opinions, is this a mistake or just silly to be considered in the 1st place

we definitely wanna stay together, but for some reason I thought a break would do us good.

try not to be too harsh please, thanx.

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46 answers

your stupidity has no limits,nansense.

Only a foooolish bf will accept you back!

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It will definately not survive it, a break as said earlier is an euphemism of saying good bye.

So if you know you love each other, you look for better ways to improve the relationship &

not breaking up. tckr

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well i will say having a break could lead to two different things.

either he gets to appricate u more cos he is gonna miss u and u too in return, and when u guys make up again it really could be intresting.

but on second tots, things may go wrong and he will blame the whole thing on u cos u started it, so my sister just give it a carefull tot. the answer is in u.

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If u wanna break up aaaabegg break be4 its 2 late and if u want 2 stay with him/her make sure you are doing your possible best not 2 hurt each other.[/color]

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i dont think its a good thing to break up in the first instance.

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apparently individual bias and difference is very strong here

can't i find at least 1 person that sees things the way i do

when u don't c urself as u but as a part of some1 else 4 almost 4 yrs of ur life and at a young age

wouldn't u be at least curious to know what u stand 4 as just u and not part of some1 else?

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this really isn't abt respect now is it?

and definitely not abt putting him in check,

this is me trying to find myself, is dat so wrong?

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Guys don't want to be "put in check". They'd rather find another woman who respects them more than that!

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my point exactly, i believe in letting something go and if it comes back to you, then it's really urs.

and there is no new guy, i just want to re-evaluate the whole concept of our r/ship, we've been together 4 quite some time and this break would help us realise what brought us together and things can get better b/w us.

and all of u making me sound selfish esp. the guys calling me a heartbreaker and stuff like that means u don't really understand, i don't need u to judge me but to see things from where i'm standing and try being empathic,

i hope y'all understand.

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i feel you because one of my very close friends just had a huge misunderstanding with her guy and they've taken an indefinite break which is really killing the guy.and the thing is, he caused the tiff. i think it's a sensible way to put him in check because when you guyz part for a while, he'll value you more and you guys can even chill out with others to see how truly compatible you guys are. but,girlfriend, don't overdo it.

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To support,davidylan's poem,Gem87,look at this as well

Before you say goodbye

and walk out the door

darling think twice

let your heart make the choice

Remember our sweet nights

playing stories of delight

don't throw the memories we made

locking it in the attic to fade

Before you break my heart

and tear our moments apart

ask yourself do I want this

will I miss that kiss

Don't bring distance to our eyes

my flowers in the garden will die

before you push my hands that clutch

ask, can I forget this touch

Look back through the years

of how we hold each other dear

a life without you is miserable

to walk away from me are you able

Don't banish our beautiful life

and leave me with strife

for my soul knows only you

living in this world for you

So before you say goodbye

and walk out the door

darling, think twice

let your heart make the choice

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thats nice davidylan ! i wish that would help her !

For real gem87, getting confused wont help,okay ! u have someone else and yet, u wanna keep the guy incase the new guy turns SOUR. why dont u help urself by making amends for all the shortcomings u might be experiecing with ur guy? no relationship is hitch free my dear ! just go and resolve ur issues with u guy .

Fine, the freedom of a girl of 20 cant be compromised ! and anygirl in that age bracket would want to explore and groove that, any guy that is trying to show them love is seen as " MR CAGER" funny huh ? but thats the truth !!! my dear, concentrate on how to make things work out first and if its not working out then, back out and take a long break for like 70 years !

Just think every over and probe yourself, know what u want and go for it. keep the guy and forgo the "new guy" or forgo ur guy and go for the " new guy"

I really do wish u best of luck.

Cheers

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this song is to you gem87 on behalf of ur boy friend

Take note of words in bold.

I'm missing you

Girl even though you're right here by my side

Cause lately it seems

The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me

But baby sometimes

You're just saying the words

If you've got somethin' to tell me

Don't keep it inside

Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

Girl I'll make it easy for you

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time

But it's gone too far now we can't rewind (And there's nothing that I can do

To stop me losin' you)

I can't make you change your mind (If your heart's not in it)

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

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Gem, pls dont go on a break because if u 'resume',things aint gonna be the same.The ball is in ur court,it's either u break up wiv him if u have any genuine reason to or u let sleeping dogs lie,

Goodluck

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d whole thing is complicated, and i don't know how to make everyone understand where i'm coming from,

i need this break but i still wanna keep my man, it sounds selfish, i knw.

i don't wanna be with him and keep wondering what it wld be like 2 be with someone else,

our relationship has potential, he's asked me to marry him, i'm 20 and not ready.

i still love him, just becos i wnt a brk doesnt mean i'm tired of him or anything like dat, it's more of

satisfying my curiosity, he's not happy about it but he understands, cuz it has to happen soon or later.

it's a break and we cn do whateva we want really, i know it sounds silly but i don't mind him sleeping wiv other ppl

it ws my idea anyway, i'm not looking 4ward 2 replacing him, i just wanna grow a bit apart from him and find myself.

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d whole thing is complicated, and i don't know how to make everyone understand where i'm coming from,

i need this break but i still wanna keep my man, it sounds selfish, i knw.

i don't wanna be with him and keep wondering what it wld be like 2 be with someone else,

our relationship has potential, he's asked me to marry him, i'm 20 and not ready.

i still love him, just becos i wnt a brk doesnt mean i'm tired of him or anything like dat, it's more of

satisfying my curiosity, he's not happy about it but he understands, cuz it has to happen soon or later.

it's a break and we cn do whateva we want really, i know it sounds silly but i don't mind him sleeping wiv other ppl

it ws my idea anyway, i'm not looking 4ward 2 replacing him, i just wanna grow a bit apart from him and find myself.

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@gem87,

u need a break dear,i feel you badly.relantionship is not marriage,your kids in three years marriage should be able to offset the boredom you experience with your boyfriend.

advice!!!!!!!,think of marriage now instead of further relationship.

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why take a break?if u are in really love with the guy u won't think of taking a break let's assume the guy gives u wahala or headeache becos he luvs u or probably jealous,there are better ways of excusing urself u can just travu 4 a week or two,but if u are the type that work and can't travu then move out of the environment 4 a while and pretend 2 him that u are sent out by ur company.he will miss u like hell.but if u want 2 leave him finally,u can then tell him u want a break then during the break he will get someone else.but becareful if u still want him,don't take a break oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A break from a relationship is the most handy explanation (excuse) for someone who wants to eat his/her cake and still have it. When most people are distracted in a relationship, and they cannot resist the distraction, the next thing is to ask for a break so that 'we can give ourselves some room'.

A break-up is a definite decision taken with or without reason to end a relationship and get along with your life.

Either way, you've just got to stick your neck out and reap the benefits/losses.

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i dnt buy d idea of a break rily,well, diff strks 4 diff folks.

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It seem most of us decided to live like our parent why cant we think on our Relationship the way you think on your business i belived we can make the change

Business man think how is going to make is business going concern without being discourage with his failure

Relationship it part of our life span the more we grow the more we live with experience

In relationship i discover we can'nt forgive each other then why relationship?

even some men cant even say 'I'm sorry dear' are you born perfect?

and if you guy are working in one reputable company you belived you are in the best position to control your own financial budget without consult any partner.

The hope i want everybody to have is simple. Make the convenat in your mind that no matter what happen she/he will continue to be my husband/wife. If your wife was molest what will you do? most men we send her away instend to become her conforter but you will be the first enemies of her life.

If you are still in courtship you can still enjoy peace after Marriage you are living together everything we change immediately first from the speech.

We men have one greatest problem 'The Head' that word always make us to over react

but for you lady make up you mind to live happly with your crown your God gave you

Note: Religion is not Marriage

' The more you're religion the more you lose'

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Be sincere you want to leave the relationship and you want people to help you rationalise why its a good idea to leave.Dont worry just go ahead with your plan you dont need people to help you deciede and besides our opionion dont matter,you only want someone to help you overcome your guilt

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well break in a relationship has its good and bad sides, it all depends in the maturity of both parties.

for instance, i had a break from my fiancee for about 1 year, and we still came back at the expiration of the deadline. it all depends on wat u want, wat u are trying to watch out from. if it is for selfish motives or because of a new find love it is not worth it, but if the love is geniune it will stand the test of time.

just make up your mind and talk it out between u two.

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break up? i have been trying to justify ur reason(s) for wanting to do that ! i guess, u are just fed up with the relationship and u wanna use that as a smart way to free urself from him.

My lil advice is this, if u still love him, dont even try to break up, OKAY ! look for other ways to resolve the whatever issues u might be having with him .

If i were in that guy's shoes, i might not want to consider "our" coming back together ! But, if u are fed up, why not ! take as much break as u want my dear.

The main point is, if u really do and if u still " gbadun" the guy, dont gamble with the love of your life !

Best of luck

cheers

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a break shouldn't be more than a week, anything u do after that week cannot be used against u if u do get back together.

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Two of you are probably just tired of each other and you dont know how to end it, if u saw a future in the relationship you wouldnt say you want a break. Its sha a nice way of breaking up with each other without any fighting involved and all that because you would see some other people and want to move on.

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some relationship can survive a break but not if they want to

Why dont you hang with your friends a bit more, go sky diving, have girls night out do girly things mak sure you stay away from other guys

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gem gurll

no matter how far apart or how many breaks u and ur boyfriend want to take, as long as u two love it each other it will survivee.

now of course we arent americans and dont leave in a fantasy land, and im sur eu know that there are many nigerians who love someone else and end up marrying someone who they dont love as much due to the other person not being ready for something more serious. well i personally would advice u not to do it, it sounds like u really love this guy and and he does love u too. I know u are probably thinkin hmm, im in a new country new bobos let me try, nne biko, they are all the same, let nature take its course and give hinm a call, the only thing i worry is that u migh thave instilled some doubt in him with a suggestion like lets take a break " so sweetheart take a cue from Ross in the show Friends" Taking a break sometimes is not the smartest idea. gurl i wish u the best of luck ok, peace

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Taking a break - an euphemism for "i want to break up but i dont have the courage to say so".

Tell him you want out! It wont take you to move a mountain neither will he suffer a heart attack. There are many fishes in the river afterall.

You must have seen other people and u're bored with the relationship so u're looking for a legitimate outlet to go frolick around.

If i were in his shoes, i'd never take you back. Once we "take a break", that is the end.

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i made the mistake.yhough i didnt tell my bf i wanted a break.i told him i was tired of d relationship.now i want us back but he isnt interested anymore.cos,i believe he found better love some where or he just eventually got tired of the relationship.exploring isnt too good for a smooth relationship.

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oh and when he sleeps with someone else and you guys get back together, if he tells you what he did you are gonna end up holding it over his head like it was his fault.

what i don't get is that people want love and when they find it they come up with idiotic ideas to push it away.

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For what? To taste new apples?

Come off it, I think it was a mistake

to suggest this kind of break.

It shows some lack of commitment

to the relationship on your part.

Just go back to him and apologise

if you still love him.

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then tell him you need space and not that you both need to see other people

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there are times that it's really not that u dont like the guy. u just need some breathing space to clear ur head and think abt things. assure urself that u are making the right choice.

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Can A Relationship Survive A Break?

Well on a real it depends on the status  of the relationship? you really need to DEFINE your MAIN REASONS FOR DOING it,  whats your intention and what do you want from the gain from it Because i dont really think you would gain much if you say its alright to go and see other people,  his a man and he is just gonna take it that your not serious,  he may take it that your just bored of him and the relationship?

i feel he needs real definition, cause as much as your feeling are on the line, his is tooo and you as a woman of mural and principle need to address that its takes 2 in a relationship, because he may see it that in a NICER WAY (WHICH WOMAN R GOOD AT) your telling him its over, and will you really be able to handle it if he was seein someone else?

please dont qoute because every relationship is different ,

holla back at me wid ya comments on this ,

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If you really love him, you wouldn't have considered a break up in the first place. The answer is only within you.

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Where you getting tired of just being with him or what? 3 and a half yrs is kinda long. Where do you see both of you in the next couple of years? If you absolutely love this guy - break is not a good decision at all. Except you want to break up with him in a nice way then tell him you want a break.

Girl - i hope you know the risk you're taking because the moment one of you find someone that you think is better, there is a lil' if not no chance of actually coming back together.

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pls dont break up ,except u wanna break away from him, it's that simple

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And if you must break up, break up amicably. Otherwise, the time spent together would have been a waste.

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i think its a silly idea, you break up if you no longer want to be with each other, and move on. ok lets see, you both take a break and he finds someone else or sleep with someone else whose fault will that be, i dunno why people who love each other come up with silly ideas about seeing other people, if you are tired of the relationship break up for crying out loud.

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Can a relationship survive a break? Yes, it can, if you don't mind the thought of him sleeping with other girls.

And if he doesn't mind the thought of you sleeping with other men. What's the purpose of the break, anyway?

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well this dude, got married 2 this chick, and they were like happy couples maybe on the dude's aspect, so when they went on their honeymoon, this muscular and absilicious dude offers them a boat ride, but the dude was like nahh, but suggest that his wife goes, which she did, and he went back to their hotel, cheez i fanatisize about that hotel, u need 2 c the view, nwaiz, went back, 2 prepare dinnere, decorate the whole house, put roses on the floor and bed, and did all that poo, but it was getting late and the wife did not return he decided 2 go look 4 them, only 2 discover some screaming and mourning from the back of the ship, his dearly weded wife was been bleeped lemme say screw by the other dude, and she was like i want a divorce,

go get the movie its good 4 this ur condition

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I haven't seen the movie, can u pls elaborate, thnx.

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have u seen this movie ALONG CAME POLLY, ok that one wasent just a break, it was more like a few hrs outing, u might wanna reconsider

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