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Can A Stingy Man Change?

This might sound childish,  but please i really need advice coz em,  seriousely speaking i do not know where to start,  There is this guy i just meet,  his gud looking but dam the guy is stingy. he call me to meet him in his office on my way back from work, had to obey him, went to his office, but i was suprise when i told this guy that am hugry and coupel with the fact that its was late that i can't cook as at that time, , tots its was a joke but just for this guy to play a dafe on me,   though i like his company but what do u guys think about this his stingyness, can a stingy man change?

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107 answers

Good work, RedRiver. I wonder what these girls take us for anyway. Money making machines?

People like tolulope_0 and ammamat think they can just walk up to any guy and ask him for food

and expect to be swept off their feet to the nearest tantalizer!

Imagine talking of starvation and all that crap. Must it be the man always providing for you?

What is wrong if you start fending for yourself for a change?

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i knew straight away the moment i saw the word "stingy". when cheap girls meet a reasonable and sensible man who does not dole out money on the first day, they call call him stingy. No decent girl will visit a man for the first time and go demanding for food. food of all things. food demand is one sure way of knowing a hungry girl who is looking to profit from the relationship. i guess the guy is just above your league. its only cheap boys or boys with bad motives who sees a you as a prostitute and then will struggle and even borrow to meet such demand hoping for instant reward and you will see such guys as the rich ones. on a first visit and in an office you are asking for food, i will make excuses or give you money so that you can leave me alone. a decent lady will even turn down an offer for food on a first meeting. Beside these days ladies dont eat just like that anyhow. i guess you are one fat girl

these days lot of girls say stingy and i wonder. if you truly love someone do you expect something in return. you said he is stingy, what have you given to him ever

It saddens me to know that you went begging for food. no matter how genuine you were, that was a bad first impression. let me ask you. what makes him stingy in these situation. did you asked him why he said no

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If only he was 'stingy' in the first place-yes. But fortunately there is a big difference btw stinginess and

being prudent.

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To be realistic,What is bad is bad, It doesn't make sense atall, i so much hate this stinginess act, it sucks

as for me,i regard the guy as an "olorun" how much is money? how much does she wanna spend at a eatery, find anoda guy cos if u even get married to him you will die of starvation,

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I don't think so. There is nothing worse than having a stingy man in the family. Bleep them all, cos i got one.

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he wont change if he's sting! even his cousin

confirmed it for crying out loud! my advice to is, RUN baby RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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having said that the boy is a big fool

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@ammamat,

what dýou really want from us? is it advise or what? because i notice that rather than spend time

reflecting on the candid opinions members are offering you, instead you spend time attacking

every comment that you don't agree with.

Ok, fine. You want us to tell you what will make you happy? This is my advise: the man will change.

Yes, he is a stingy man and you did right by telling him you were hungry. He was supposed to jump

at the slightest suggestion of you indirectly telling him to take you out to lunch. Just give him a little

time and he will realise how 'stingy' he has been. Next time you go visiting him, don't bother to eat

for two days. As sooon as you suggest to him that you're starving, he will rush you to the nearest

chinese restaurant to make up for the other day.

I'm sure you're happy now?

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Some naija babes always rationale their odd behaviour of hoping that a man MUST be the first and last provider of give us this day. If the guy told you that he wanted to have sex with you on a first meeting how would you respond? In Naija setting, men try as much possible to protect their territory by not allowing some needy women to get anything they want by snapping their fingers.

Even if this relationship works (not likely) it would be predicated on the notion that this new guy would be generous with his pocket. You made it seem soo abnormal for folks to be wise spender  by putting it in your own word "stingy" Ask your brothers and uncles how many times  folks like you would come up that format of being hungry. Your being in his office was not by force and you  could have excused yourself, but you were there simply to be fed by him. Your  post smacks of  someone looking for an economic host. I wonder if folks like you would ever give someone  who is in a lower economic standing a chance.

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And if he starts spending like Otedola you will laugh to your friends that this one don chop love medicine and is spending like mumu.

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i always gbadun dis honda29.he always syas d fact,good job man. how can u even think of asking a guy buying food for you for the first time?u av no shame. hungry girl.

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you are playing yourself, the reason why there is men like him treating you like that is because there are women like you who let them.

if you are such a catch then you should have had no worries in removing that plague from your life FOREVER!!!!!

let me give you an example of what you should have done 6MONTHS AGO (or whenever you met him):

the first time he treated you like garbage/trash, you should have stop the vehicule and tell him straight to his face that he is not the kind of "friend" you wish to associate with and that he should delete your number and forget he ever met you. then you jump in a taxi (or okada in your case) and leave!

YOU should then proceed by deleting his number and if he ever contact you again, hang up the phone and NEVER reply his text msgs.

this thread is 127msg deep, if you dont get the picture by now then you never will.

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so is he your boyfriend now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

@ MRbrownJay

Yes i can call him my boy friend But not MY BED FRIEND,

While i said his my boy friend is that

(1) His a Male not female, so his a boy

(2) His a friend coz we talk, not an enemy

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what on earth are you still doing with him?and what the Bleep was he doing at your place?

@ amebo1:

I was at home while he came, i did not call him to come niether did i sent for him, He came on his own.

Since i was not felling fine i could not talk to him and he could not ask me what the matter is.

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This is the type to girl that gives our women bad image. You just met a man and you want him to start buying you food. Why cant you feed yourself. Where is your pride? Why must you make yourself a parasite? What is the difference between you and ashawo? Ashawo ask for money for seeing a man. You were asking for food for seeing the man. You are just like so many Nigerian girls that ask a man for recharge card the very first time she chat wth him as if the man manufactures recharge card. If I were in his shoe I would have bought the food for you, pound your Kitty-Cat and then move on (sex for food).

@ honda29,

I will appreciate if u can go back and read well, its will be better than just writing anything that comes ur mind or anything u know u can spell okay,

I do not lack what to eat, talk of to just meat a man and start asking him for food ok.

Open your eye wider and if u can't see well u can look for glasses

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D guy is not stingy,he's only principled.

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Am really not interested in this mail. Pls don't reply.

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Pls i'm new on this site. How do i delete a post i don't want.

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If this is true then you are an amazing woman, to say the least.

the "madness" is that you allow this man to still be in your life, if you don't like what he is doing to you, then why do you still keep on hanging around him or letting him in your life to treat you like garbage?!

do you expect him to miraculously change?! what is it about this man that keeps you drawn to him?! its definitely NOT the person so what is it?! status?! money?!  you must be into sado-maso type of poo, you take pleasure in suffering?!

HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU AND, THAT MY FRIEND, WILL NEVER CHANGE!

i thought people learn from their mistakes but i can see that you are hard in learning.

the fact that he didnt pay for your dinner is not the problem, the fact that he treated you like garbage is!!!!!!!

respect yourself before you expect respect from others,

so is he your boyfriend now?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

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its alright, i brought the topic, for all of u that do not have what to say, thanks, but to all that believs that i complain hunger for this guy becoz i do not have money to catter for my dinner fine,, God bless u all , but let me tell u guy what happen yesterday again,

This same guy came to my house ans saw me lying down, i mean i was sick, i could not even care to know what was wrong with me meanwhile i did not call him to come oh. All what he could do, was to get annoyed telling me that he came to my house and i am doing as if i did not see him,

for all the good judges in the house, is that how u guys treats ur chic, , ,

I mean u see ur g/f rolling on the floor u can't even ask what is wrong, but expect me to bow and worship him first.

Is that not madness

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poster, it is you should give him time and watch him some more, if he doesn't change i should advice that you run for your life, Stingy men are not worth having around. especially if they are bouyant and refuse to spend on you even if for little little things.

I work now but before now, i use to depend on my bf for little little things, and he never complained. infact we use to joke about it when there was no money cos he once gave me my TF while going home from his house and i told him to bring more incase i threw away someone oil , just like we use to tell my mum at home when we need little pocket money, well he told me to be careful so that such thing will not happen cos there is no money.and i said what if i needed ice cream , he told he to chain my long throat, we all laughed. he is not stingy but was trying to tell me that there was no money at that point. even though i work now, but he still pays my tranport fare or takes me home whenever i visit , Any guy that cannot do that is not a gentle man. i expect any guy that invites to any where be it office or home to be responsible for the transport fare and collar me too, if not there will not be another visit and i will not bother to tell you why i won't visit you. . it is not the cost of the things he spent on me that i am after but for the fact that he care enough for my welfare to do all those things. i love caring guys and that is the only way a guy can show care to a lady he call his own

.

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the guy is self centered, all he thinks about is wat he can get from u

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I dont know where you live but if you are presentable, act right and dont talk like a dumb Bottom, (and have access to the right places) you can hook up with the right women for free. bare in mind that having your own ride, your own house, a J O B and conversational skills will greatly enhance your chances.

although what you have can enhance your chances, it should never be the reason for success. YOU are the main prize. YOU as a person not you as the guy with the Benz and cash. the Benz and the cash should only be the cherry on top of the big cake.

If the women where you hang out are like the poster, then change environments to find proper ladies that doesnt judge men by the size of their wallets.

No wonder some women are ready to marry guys that beat them black and blue!!!!! these are insecure women that think that the answer is in the money, these types will only make your life miserable. if someone judges you by how much you spend on them rather than how caring/loving you are or how compatible you are then "HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!".

Materialistic women are everywhere but dont get the idea that ALL women are like that. change your tactics and environments of hang outs if you want to meet different babes.

ps: unfortunately if you live in 9ja., !!!!

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Yes i am a man and i understand life.

men who are we kidding. its a dog eat dog world. If u want Kitty-Cat be ready 2 pay 4 it. Stop listening to all dat bullshit neyo and d rest are singing. We guys all want beautiful babes as a girlfriend(not ugly ones or handicap or deaf and dumb women on wheelchairs) and them girls want a rich man as boyfriend (not a poor one) so what is so difficult 2 understand about a girl being pissed that her bobo is stingy after she has gone through all the stress looking good for him. Do you think it is easy being a woman. abeg poster no mind dem jo. get your money girl. nuthin do u.

Dont hate d player, hate d game.

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this babe, you really like this guy but a person cannot be complete, and if you're very tight he won't turn deaf ears.

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y cnt u buy ur food from ur own pocket?ole barawo oyeochi,d guy its stingy its u who is a child from a poor background. omo oju o ro la ri.

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There is no patience with someone who does nothing or little and expects mighty stunts. She is not good herself, not refined but expects both.She labeled Calabar men stingy, tomorrow, Igbo will join. I once dated a Yoruba gf  who said Igbo men are always after money, but funnily enough over-demanding made me kick myself in the Bottom.It won't work. The original poster should go to her level. Now, men are stingy to get the basic things in life going. Your bf may not be the man to marry you, but you kinda appreciate your future husband when you see the investments he had, the house, the plots of land and stuff. You don't get too excited with the number of gfs he bought this and that. Do you? Women buy lipstick, powder, shoes and clothes to catch the men that saved and scrimped to have houses, cars and permanent money-spinning stuff. Men are stingy and we still get laid.Funny!

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In my own opinion, I think you have already crucify the guy without any consideration at all, maybe he is not financially buoyant when you met him and you cannot labelled him as being "stingy" based on dat, so what i want to you to do is that yu shd have patient with the guy and try to give him some time, best of luck.

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WELL IT'S GUD U GAVE HIM RED CARD PROVIDED THAT IT MAKES U FEEL GUD.

DID U TRY 2 TUK DIS OVER WITH HIM, I MEAN D STINGY STUFF?

WELL SOME GUYS ARE HEAVY SPENDER WHILE SOME JUST MICE THIER MONEY, BUT ALL THESE DEPENDS ON THE AVAILABILITY OF THE EGO. THE RULE HERE IS, SPEND AS U EARN HAHAHAHAHAH Grin Grin Cry Kiss Undecided

I think some people are just scared of 2morow and they stay hungry and spend less with an excuse of saving 4 d future.

i told him he's too stingy for my liking and we cant be compatible lai lai. he's still ma friend sha.

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hunger don finish u for ur father house u dey look for man as loop hole to ur problems

GUYS please stay away from poor Girls, for ur own good cos with rats like this u are only diggign your grave

spend as u earn if she does not like it she can go an hang.

@ keacy:

Do we still have poor girls now adays? i don't think so , mind u girls of this days are full of pride okay, i do not think girls would want guys to take advantage of them,

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D GUY SHOULD BE ABLE TO SATISFY THE BABES STOMACH 4 DAT IS VERY IMPORTANT. I AGREE WITH U HERE.

IT'S 9CE 2 B COMPATIBLE, THESE GUYS ARE NOT SO D BETTER WAY IS 2B APART

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you wont run away now

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Please, i brought this thread, i think is time to stop,

Thanks for all ur responds, reply,comments, opinion and contribution.

thanks

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My Guy I tire oh, I dont blame that guy who said lets stop dating poor girls, I thought he was silly that time, ow I see he beginning to make sence eachday, as of my thinking, regards GF/BF girls are more stingy than guys cos thiers is for keeps and guys's own is for take, well I thank God for my life sha, girls Plz go and listen to J. Fox & NE-YO's new one (She Got Her Own)

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@poster

the truth is u r so blinded by self denial that u have an excuse to support your actions and accusations, if i am the guy i sure would run away form a leach like u.

when u got to his office u then realised that the environment was unsafe and they would molest u, wat if he had planned to get u Molested for him to ask u to stay till 10:30pm?

@erico

sorry my guy, the girl did that intentionally except she is a teenager or a kid, most girls few exception with irregular period they sure know the signs and the symptoms of when their period would be out or not so most are prepared, why do u think girls carry big handbags all the time

i have had different girlfriends at different times and they know one way or the other except as someone said BEWARE of POOR GIRLS, remember poor girl symptoms - excuses, whining and fast to conclusion and off course selfish, looking for every means to siphon money from the guy, just any means

haba!!!!

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@ erico, na u sabi, u forget that, its do changes,

which ever one u can or will do all na ur cup of tea,

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Thanks so much @ amebo no1, for understanding, don't mind this some of this guys that think up side down.

@ erico, are u saying if ur chic come to ur house and her period came unexpected, u will tell her go to house with blood stain so that she can get herself sanitary pad, nawoah i wonder the kind of men we are having now, , thiers is alway trade by bater, I pitty ur wife.

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Okay let me tell u what his cursin told me that his former chic came to his house,and her period occur unexpected, its was a problem for this guy to buy pad for this chic.

What is that one being call, is that one too food?

Chi POSTER, so you gonna or you are telling us that you could ask a guy to give you Money to buy sanitry Pad as well? man what vilage did you come from?I have to put that in my diary and warn folks to stay clear from them areas,common man life aint that hard in Nigeria Im very sure.

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ammamat ignore the people insulting you

i myself misunderstood ur story until i read it all

my onl advice to u is,when u meet such a man again,dont do everything he tells u,if u do it,he will call u cheap and desperate

if i were u ,i would have told d okada man to stop,come down and walked away , instead of staying with him till 10.30pm

seriously i think u brought this insult upon urself,u acted desperate

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There is nothing to understand here. Your attitude is a sad commentary on the kind of mentality

that is rife among ladies in this part of the world. A large proportion of women here fall into your

category, so maybe you shouldn't feel too bad about it. They're always begging, demanding one

thing or the other at the slightest excuse and when the men fail to respond, they label them with

all sorts of unsavoury nomenclature.

Please it's high time our women hold their heads high like their counterparts in other parts of the

world. Learn to depend more on yourself rather than expecting somebody else let alone a stranger

put food on your lap

@ George D:

Sound very funny, lets forget about we talking online, i think at times is better u meet sombody one on one so that u can atleast know who the person is.

I can never in anyway depend on a man, even when am married i can't depend on my husband okay, i do not allowed men to take me so low, i do not allowed them to count me as cheap girl, why am I working, is it not to take care of myself and free man, If u have been meeting girls like that, plz change ur mentality coz all gilrs are not the same ok.

I am not feeling bad about his act, but my concered is that he should change coz is really bad,

Okay let me tell u what his cursin told me that his former chic came to his house,and her period occur unexpected, its was a problem for this guy to buy pad for this chic.

What is that one being call, is that one too food?

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There is nothing to understand here. Your attitude is a sad commentary on the kind of mentality

that is rife among ladies in this part of the world. A large proportion of women here fall into your

category, so maybe you shouldn't feel too bad about it. They're always begging, demanding one

thing or the other at the slightest excuse and when the men fail to respond, they label them with

all sorts of unsavoury nomenclature.

Please it's high time our women hold their heads high like their counterparts in other parts of the

world. Learn to depend more on yourself rather than expecting somebody else let alone a stranger

put food on your lap.

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This is the problem we have in our part of the world. Women expect men to do everything for

them. You are hungry and because a man you just met did not over reach himself and rush

you to the nearest MR BIGGS or TANTALIZERS you quickly conclude that 'he is stingy'. With a

mentality such as this, no wonder our ladies fall for men who offer them food and take them

to bed the next minute. Are really that cheap?

George D:

I should say u do not know what u are talking why becoz u ve not read my reply well.

Fine if u did not have cash to take care of me at that moment why did u have to borther me coming to ur office when I alredy let u know my situation, Do u know what its mean for one to work since moring without eating, okay did u expect me disobey him or what?, Do u expect me go out while getting there to get food when the street is no go area, if am got and reap what will he do?, its seem u don't understand my point.

Please is rather adviceable to read well before contributing.

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my dear poster

with your kind of grammar

i wont even advice my driver to spend a dime on u

sorry

its chicks like u dat spoil d reps of oda babes

u just met a guy u don dey ask 4 food money already

are u sayin if u had not met him u wld not eat

my dear step up

dis days girls dont ask guys directly 4 tins

even if u need smtin u go form small

@ sexyHotMom

with your kind of grammar,

Can u plz do ur own correction, in anywhere u found the grammertical error, madam too know

u just met a guy u don dey ask 4 food money already

are u sayin if u had not met him u wld not eat

is a month pluse, just meet by the way who told u that i was asking him for food, his he my daddy?

He invited me to his office, told him i need to go home so that i can cook as have not eaten since moring, but he said ( I said u should come to my office) plz do not misinterprite me, after all his not the one that has been taking care of me before, so why should i allowed that to be his problem.

But do not forget that its was his responsibility.

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Never ask a man you just met for money. It's not a good look. I suppose you have a job; if you were hungry you should gotten food for yourself.

@starstruck

I have never aske him for money,,,,,,,,, i only let him to understand my predicament, if that can make him to allowed me go home early, plz read all my reply well.

thanks

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This is the problem we have in our part of the world. Women expect men to do everything for

them. You are hungry and because a man you just met did not over reach himself and rush

you to the nearest MR BIGGS or TANTALIZERS you quickly conclude that 'he is stingy'. With a

mentality such as this, no wonder our ladies fall for men who offer them food and take them

to bed the next minute. Are you really that cheap?

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You just met him, he may think you are the demanding type. But at least, he suppose to offer you something just for the visiting. He is somehow stingy if he didn't at all offer you at least a drink for the visit, Haba.

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girl if you are hungry buy food for yourself. wait for no man.

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Dear Poster plz define stinginess, cos the episode you just described above is that of a typical stereotyped Nigerian girl who for some strange reasons think the Ono's is for the man to prove himself worthy to be seen with, we have same issues with some girls in the UK and America too, cos they failed to change thier sense of orientation once they reach the advance world where women are almost equal to men, would it not have been So awesome of on your way to his office you brought him some takeaway and say hey babe, I got these for us, step up your game to add value to yourself, what you have just done is like Politicians saying in the UK, Vote me I will build a road and school here lol that only happens in Nigeria lol

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