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Can He Change?

Now guys please help me out.

Met a nice guy, ideal and definately my idea of my dream boat.

The thing is that he says he isnt ready for anything long term yet cause his private life is in a mess and i know for a fact that his private life is in a mess and he likes me (he told me that) and i like him too.

His reasons for trying to sort out his private life is most definately valid.

But the thing i wanna know is - is he likely to change or is he leadingme on.

P.S. I think he is genuine but maybe my judgements are blared.

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22 answers

It is a doubled edged sword.

While the fact that he's been there and done that may significantly mean that he has sowed his wild oats and is ready to be a responsible man, it could also be delicate should in case he has not outgrown such tendencies.

My advice is to enter a platonic relationship with him to decipher if he's real or not.

I know you like him despite the warts and all.

People change when they find love. Check him out. But remember, 'PLATONIC'.

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More often than not, women who end up in bad relationships had seen the red light earlier but chose to ignore it.

You can risk it but don't say you never got the signal.

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just bone his side....u dnt trust him so wats d point?? u stil wil keep havin dis feelin dat he is cheatin on u...so it wld b best u forget bout datin him....

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Change because of you?

You must be kidding

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this should b in the romance section

i dnt really think u should venture into a relationship with som1 u dont trust, and ain't sure about cox it will always comeback to hunt u. u don't trust him, u ain't sure that he will change, then don't do it. or why not just watch him and see if he dares to  change?/ though he might change so to get u and then go back to his oldish. so if it was me i wouldn't do it.

trust is one of the core aspects of a relationship and when it is lacking in a relationship, the relationship is already a failure. and since u dont trust him now, that doubtfulness will also linger in that relationship if u go ahead with it cox then everything he does may seem as untrue to u, which maybe escalate into an argument blah, blah then the failure of it.

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If you're not sure of someone and you cant trust him, why start anything with him?

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Oh ma goodness thanks guys.

I thought i was gonna get plastered by the responses but its been bearable so far.

I really think am just gonna keep looking for my own man cause i dont fell i have any time to waste. At 28 the biological clock is ticking and i would love to have another baby soon (my first is 8 and half).

Thanks alot guys- will keep searching

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adeboo you are a very sincere person and i prt that no man will use you as a wrag. What is the level of mess he is in?is it that bad abd has he explained it to you?if he has and you can cope with it, then take the risk but endeavour to open up to him your heart feelings and fear at every level of your affair. You are not judgementl and thats a sure way that you are on a good track to being a 1daful spouse or friend. Please, try to kkep us on naijaland.com posted so that we could help or contact us privately.bye there,

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lt allright if you think u cant make it up.

good luck

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I regret that in Jesus name.

Thanks guys for making me see beyond his finess.

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welcome to the third child by a third woman for this guy.

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IF I WERE U, I WONT GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.In this tin called love its always good to use ur head 1st b4 ur heart

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Thanks alot people. I know that i definately cant change a man.

I really appreciate the advice. Am beginning to come back to ma senses now.

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l really believe in love, if u really love him, why not sacrifice and make sure u stop him from such mess, if only u can discover if he truelly loves you.

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lemme put it like dis hon,d dude is a wolf,i know dis cos use2b one of em,u jst gonna end up havin mo kids for him plus he's gonna use d same line(am tryin 2sort out my private life bull poo)on the next gullible dame.take my advice get over ur hormones and use your head,surely a fine Bottom chick like u can find sommone else with less luggage,but which ever way u play it good luck, k

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lemme put it like dis hon,d dude is a wolf,i know dis cos use2b one of em,u jst gonna end up havin mo kids for him plus he's gonna use d same line(am tryin 2sort out my private life bull poo)on the next gullible dame.take my advice get over ur hormones and use your head,surely a fine Bottom chick like u can find sommone else with less luggage,but which ever way u play it good luck, k

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Thats so true Creamish - thanks a great deal.

Thanks for bringing me back to my senses.

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thanks uchetobi.

i understand what you saying i have thought of the same thing maself.

I actually have a child maself and am usually one that wouldnt date a man that has numerous baby mamas but you guys know how you just come along and change evrything - especially when he is what you have been looking for.

Damn why cant life be so straight forward.

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y does he go about having unplanned children? Hasn’t he heard about protection?? So why did he break up the relationship with the mother of these kids? Hope he is not the hit and find another woman to hit type? Open your eyes and reason with your head and not your heart. Theball is in ur court. Its your decision to make. But if you guys get all serious and it leads to marriage u have to accept his kids like your own. You may just not want that enormous responsibility.

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Well he has two kids from two different mothers. One nearly ten and the other just two.

According to him, he said the youngest one wasnt really 'planned'.

I really like him and at thispoint in ma life, am not really ready for anything long term either but i just wanna know if he is taking me for a ride or if he is someone i could truly invest my time and effort in

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it all depends on the mess he is in (would help in the assessment if you'd give us a little detail of what it is). because some mess take long term to correct while others take long term.

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