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Can I Ever Find True Love? I'm So Depressed Now.

i'm getting lean everyday and could hardly eat or concentrate on my job because a girl i loved so much and sacrificed a lot for sold off an investment of about 700k which i opened for her, the following day which was val'z day she came to my house to drop a letter saying she is walking out of our two-year relationship.

This february made us 2yrs in the relationship and i was even planning to get married to her but i found out she was deeply in love with her ex-date whom she told me she had nothing to do with him and was even planning to travel out, so when i confronted her, she denied this and the following week she sold off my investment without telling me and then wrote me a letter thaat she is working out of the relationship.

If i didnt truly love her i wouldnt bother, i would just leave it that way, but because i truly loved her and she was just the only serious girl in my life ,  so its not been easy for me at all, though my friends have told me,  you're a man with a good job working with an oil servicing firm, you can easily see better girls out there,  but in reality its not easy to see true and genuine love.

It really hurts but i'm still trying to think positively about life but sometimes i just feel like ending it all instead of suffering terribly emotionally. i dont know if i'll ever see someone who truly loves me .

I feel so miserable now and i cant just figure out what to do again. its so hard for me concentrating on my job and even sleeping at night, my heart keeps pumpimg fast, i cant even eat, i'm really miserable, i was planning to get married next year, i just dont know where to start from again now.

EAZYMAN.

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@OP eazyman, don't ever make another mistake of your life by deciding to find true love on the internet, especially on NL, forget else u will end up meeting another Diamondminer like your ex. Majority of single girls here have very uterior motives, and they also have dubious intentions, so be wise. Most may come pretending to be virgin Mary but they are Dilila and Jezybel. you got a cute job, I also believe u got a cute ride and apartment, so whats the big deal in finding an easy replacement. another advice is this: if u truly want to filter the Nigerian girls and get the best girl to marry or get committed with, then u need turn a playboy with no mercy for ladies. only have feelings for their stuff, but not for them, so u can gather a lot of them and filter the chaffs to get the real ones to chose from. good guys, soft guys, don't always get the best girls becos they confide and sell their heart to one girl, hence they end up being blinded in love that usually ends in a scary way. but playboys have no conscience for girls, they only go for fun, hence gathering both good and bad girls to finally make choice. their being playboys also makes then lovable by ladies, becos practice they say makes one perfect, thats y companies like hiring people with years of cognate experience; ladies love playboys unknowingly becos they got lots of experience when it comes to handling girls. so try being a playboy for just one year and watch out if u will ever cry again. For example, I have no emotional feelings for any lady, even the one I am with right now, she is sleeping, she knows and she is doing all she can to trap me down, but it work. so try working on being hard-hearted and u will see that naturally u will get lots of ladies dying to make u fall in love with them, that is Nigerian ladies for u. The good part of it is that u have a good job which I am also believing that u are financially loaded! An added advantage that majority of guys out there are dying to get to man-handle ladies and u got it and still crying for a small girl, whats 700k by the way? come on move on jare and break at least 10 hearts for yours been broken. Wake up man, your no wasn't going through why?

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I dt believe this story at all, OP is looking for girls to deceive, why did he drop his no. I don laughhhhhhhhhhh still the laughhhhhh, he is a play boy 100percent or more

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Yes u can find true love, cause i believe for everything there is a reason. At times we look at the wrong direction. Love is sweet, true love exist. who knows u might be lucky next time.

Don't think of retalating, leave vengence for the lord, what goes around comes around she will definitely meet her match some day.

cheer up, love is knocking at ur door

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Eeyah! pele, she doesn't deserve u after all u did for her, she has caused u a whole lot of pain and sorrow. Some ladies doesn't whot the care sometimes even if u put them on the bed they will still find there way of sleeping on the floor (omo ile le ni kii se omo ori eni). Don't worry u will surely find a lady that will love and cherish u. Forget about her and move on, they use to sing this song on superstory: this life, iiiiis beautiful! so, life is so sweet for some1 to die cos of 1 she-goat. See, we must sue her for damages. Take heart man!

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I feel for you man.I'm going through something similar but not as bad as yours (directly).I've "invested" a lot more than what you put in but that's not the issue.The point is, women are as unpredictable as the waves of the sea.They can be mild today and wild tomorrow.They don't think before they act.They only react to their "feelings".Don't ever think you can reason with a woman.It's totally impossible.

Personally as i am right now, i leave myself open to anything.I may be in a committed relationship with a lady but i am working on configuring myself to drop her like a hot potato the moment she starts acting up.If you are a Christian, learn something from Solomon who was acclaimed to be the wisest man ever in human existence.The dude had 700 wives and 300 concubines at his disposal.Think about that for a second.Why would the wisest man on earth not stick to one woman?He has them in excess so there is nothing like heartbreak coming into the scenario.Even if he slept with one woman each night, it would take three years before he came back to the same woman.

Women are not worth it man.Just try to find one you can put up with and another better one you keep on the side.That way, you stay focused.I learnt a lot from tai2.Read through his posts from time to time.That dude is resourceful.

End of!

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@Eazyman, I have come to the conclusion that humans are not perfect and love is a form of perfection and hence cannot exist. I prefer to define what I am searching for differently.

I will settle for the kind of woman whose peace of mind seems to be directly linked to my happiness. Someone who wants to be with me more than anyone else. The sum total of all the actions of that person must add up to a deep desire to love and cherish me.

I say sum total because I dont want to expect them to love me all the time.

In essence, life will not give the ideal to you, you must create it yourself

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few you talked about but GOD has a way of doing things tho.

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My brother these are girls way of life bt not all of them.i believe that we still have some homely and decent girls out there, since you are up to the task.,let her go and move on with your life, the lord will fight for you, just relax your mind and believe that everything will be fine ok may the lord with you and console in jesus name i pray amen.

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you ain't gotta be depressed. There's lots of women out there for you to network with. I'm sure one of 'em is bound to get somewhere with you.

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Many thanks Maxy, i'm optimistic it will.

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women!!!!! , wiv head bowed, he walks out!,

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Eazyman, how many of these Nairaland babes have come to this thread to tell you sorry or offer reasonable advice? But 98%of them are on other threads discussing how to eat money they didn't work for.

There are so few good ones that looking for those ones is like winning the lottery. Even the ones who pretend to be good don't have the guts to be bad or can't afford to be with their ugliness. Open your eyes and see what is cooking, true control is the only way to go. I test women just for laughs on a regular basis using money as bait and you'd be surprised to know how many of them bite. ALL OF THEM. Even the ones with boyfriends/fiances.

True control is not for younger men as you say, it is the way of the Alpha Male.Control your life before a woman controls it for you. Your 700k is gone now and you've wasted two years of your life, is that your definition of being a mature man. It's hard to swallow the bitter pill of truth but get the God will provide a woman mentality out of your mind.80% of the women on my hitlist are the so-called religious. Get real my brother and step out of the cocoon.

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@poster,Take it eazy man,looks like its ur 1st hrtbreak.d hrt'll break till it bcomes elastic like kpomo.

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You only spend money for romance and not LOVE.

Most people mistake ordinary romance for LOVE.

You need money for romance, but LOVE does not need your cash to flourish.

Look for love and you do not need to pay for it.

Majority of babes and ladies in Nigeria are POOR and in reality, they need financial security for their safety and welfare. So, do not blame them if they offer themselves to the men who can afford to pay more for their romance.

Many guys in Nigeria lust after material babes and most of the material babes pretend to be innocent and modest, but they are only playing you for time before they hook the golden fish they want.

But If you the one, she will never leave you

Rich babes are the most secure girlfriends you can have, because they are not going out with you for your money. They are going out with you for fun or for love.

Every Nigerian babe has a price.

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Time heal all wounds.

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easy man, just take it easy man.

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im sori abt wat hapnd @ poster.its realy sad dat most girl dont appreciate good guys, wel do not give up on love n im sure it wudnt give up on u.u just havent meant d good ones and honestly they are out there but i think they are few, dont worri,wen u are ready u ll find her

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nobody  thank you for been sad. watch out for more of them.

this days you can hardly trust, but gather yourself together and move on.

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relationships are so hard and true love is even harder to find, its going to take some time to get past this and of corse we know time heals everything. the right person is out there trust and believe that and also trust and believe that you reap what you sow she will get hers its jus a matter of time. take all the time you need to heal cry mope around if you have to get it all out cus in the end you will meet that peerfect somebody

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I'm now focusing my thoughts on better things and how  to make myself better.

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I really feel for you, been there done that. You need to wake up man. I did not have much time to read your post but sounds much like the same things an heartless girl will do. Stories are always the same. You have to move on. Come to think of it, there are thousands of girls out there and she's definately not the best. So she left you with the chances of meeting someone better. Thats my mindset when i break up.

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Easyman, with all the time you spend sucking in all the pity and cuddling remarks passed at you when are you going to get up and start living again cos bro you are really getting on my nerves with all the thanks and reply you are dishing out.

Man, it has happenend it has happened move ooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn.

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the truth is she is not responsible and never really loved u. this alone shuld console u, a girl who really cares abt u would not sell ur investment without informing u. tink about it, had is it d kind of person u want as a wife. naaaaaaaaaaahhh. more shes will com and not just shes but ur true love. tak heart u are blessed

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true, and stop worrying let God do dat 4 u. just engage urself with friends and family u will be fine with time.

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poster re u ready to make something good out of whatever happened to u? or u want sit in there and be posting why's question and expecting answers when u can't gt off ur butts?

depressed won't help u until u stop worrying and start living well

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@poster dont expect d worst only be prepared for the worst, expect the best. and true love still exist work and pray for one and it will come. trust me there are still good girls out there its just dat we are few. trust in god always and it will be well.

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Ma nigga man up. No need to go off on a thousand downers getting depressed. Being hard on yourself won't change her feelings. The sun is still shining brightly out there, all hope is not lost. You will fall in love again and you will get married, probably and most likely not with this one woman. Her heart just isn't with you and it sucks that you had to find out this way or that it ended the way it did.

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ma bro, just a word to keep "always expect least from anybody" take heart

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People actually live on this nairaland like Alice in a wonderland- literarily.

Pele my broda e go beta, sooner or later- trust me

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anyway wish u the best,next time open ur eyes not ur heart

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Dear EASY,

I feel so sad reading this story, but the only thing you have to do is,don't be hard

on yourself, don't blame yourself, dont be bitter, its hard to be happy but try

to take one day @ a time, b4 long u'll heal and pls whatever you do, dont treat

women badly, as for the in-grate, she'll reap what she sowed, my prayer in situations like

this, the guy she left you for will throw her out sooner than anyone can think of, and her

pains wld be worse than what you are going through.

It is well Brother, cheer up! NKIRUKA.(meaning, what's ahead is greater than what's past)

And to your question, i will say, YES you can find true love again!

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Am an ibo girl, precisely from imo state,and theres dis yoruba man asking 4 my hand in marriage and my family is against it totaly,givin reasons such as tribe and language barier, culture difference and tendency of marrying another wife. Am so confused now as am having another suitor from my state. Pls i need to be advised.

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I'm going to sound like a strange person but the chances of finding love is as good as low,Incase you haven't noticed Love doesn't exist anymore people mistake comfort in another partner,fondness for love.you see Love is a concept

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Guys, whats wrong with you all, why can't you just move on with your life; the future is always brighter than the past. Love, relationship and marriage should be a mutual agreement, why can't you just let go, do not even border to regret because, it's going to be a huge waste of time. Go on man, if you waste today thinking of yesterday, you will waste tomorrow thinking of today. If you would ask me again, I have some gist for you.

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my bro sorry bout wat u went tru, it is well, d girl is obviously not worth it trust me and theres just no point loving someone who doesnt love u in relationship its just pain. also remember money doesnt buy u love though it is important and can help, try 2 balance how u use money to influence love so dat d person does not fall inlove wit ur money instead of u, i say dis cos u have 2much money to spend. i dont think wat u had wit ur ex was true love or else she wudnt have done dat to u wit out u commitin some fault like cheating etc, she was just a bloody lie 2years or not. i blive if u looked well u wud have seen signs to show she was fake though wen u love someone u ignore somethings u really shudnt, shes lacks integrity and character to even start talks about marriage wit her.  take ur time and pray and dont rush into relationships or u'l rush out, take ur time, God will give u a true and better person. cheers

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tak it easy on yourself. dont kill yourself over an ungrateful girl who may not luv you. you will surely find true luv oneday. i hv had similar experience lik urs, but i focus on the future and forged ahead. it is not easy though.

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GUYS GUYS GUYS. See the way you all are cuddling and handling and consoling each other because a girl played a fast one on one of your kind.

Supposing a lady called easyman MUGU now, we wont hear the last of it.

EASYMAN no offence but Thumbs up to that girl, at least "one goal". Lets have a case of guys being at the receiving end of the bad side of life. I'm not supporting evil oh but guys lets admit, una own toooooooooo much.

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I'm not a weak guy tho but from experience i observed i trust people easily and i'm putting a check to that already especially after learning my lesson.

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@poster,

na wah for u oo.let me say that there is wht we call compatibility in relationships.if a born again guy goes out with a typical sharp lagos babe,then the born again guy is bound to suffer.i think that is what happened in ur case.if u were my brother -be it younger or elder-i for don slap u.u opened a 700k business for a girl.weak guys like u make me so sad.sorry if am sounding silly but i must tell u d truth which is bitter

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Maro ot she le oh e don happen so no think am !!!!

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There is a stage you get to in life and you outgrow some habits.

Its said,  Once beaten twice shy, like i said earlier i dated this girl for 2 years and i felt i was so sure of whom i was dating to the point of planning for marriage, so the thought of investing for her while she wasnt my wife yet  didnt arise, but sometimes things happen for a reason, sometimes to propel you to something greater.

Like they say every dissapointment is a blessing, some people may not get a better job untill they loose their present job,  so having learnt my lesson, i'm not gonna fall so cheaply, i'm gonna take my time and by God's grace i'll get the best which He has for me.

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FRANKLY SPEAKING, the way the poster sounds in all his post even in the last one, he has already figured it out that his's not man enough to handle a lady. I think he needs to learn a lot.

@ POSTER

And on a neutral ground, if the poster seek for another girl it might also result to this, but I just felt the best luck you have for now is that the place you are working, cos you can use that to attract a lady that is also desperately looking for husband that has work and financially capable and ready to settle down like you, even despite the kind of mentality you still have she would still be able to cope with you.

These are happening to you due to the way you were brought up, and the kind of area you lived during your childhood or where and the kind of people you were exposed to, and also the lack of communication between you and girls/ladies or the way you communicate or interact with them.

But in short, for now I think you just need to focus on your work and your life and please (grow up) cos in as much you keep on chasing ladies all in the name of seeking for one kind true love, mennnnnnn forget the more you are into it, the more you mmmm

Take care.

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D problem is that u are lookin 4 lov wen u dont evn no what it is. U are not evn man enuf 2 handle the next girl, that mean u are goin 2 b duped again. Why are u so much interested in true love. U hav been use and dumped yet u talk about true love, a pure sign that u havnt learnt ur lesson. The only advice i can give is 2 carefully read tai2's thread on hw 2 control a woman and learn 2 b a man 4 once in ur life b4 its 2 late. God, if i were the md of these oil companies or big establishments, weak men like u will neva b employd

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700k ?!! U need 7 serious slaps to wake u up.how can u open a business for a girlfriend.she's not ur wife yet and she's been using the proceeds of your money to help her sharper boyfriend who's been givin it "HOT" to her.i dont pity u cos if id begged u for 10k to fund small business,ud tell me of economic depression.i hail that babe.learn control just like Tai has been talkin about.anyway come to the Beer parlour let me give you 3 bottles of your favorite then i go give u one fine okpeke to help lessen ur sorrows. But u'll pay for the peppersoup oo.

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@poster ,

I am very sorry for what your girl did to you. Attilla is correct that you should be thankful you did not get married to that she-devil. I think the adage "every dissapointment is a blessing rings true in your case". Don't listen to pro01 about deleting love from your heart, love is kind, love is unselfish, love is all encomapssing and we all need a little love in our lives. With time, I am sure you will find a woman worthy of your love, until then be careful. I wish you the best of luck.

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its well and by God's grace it will continue to be well.

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@ Post

Exactly my point about women & ingratitude. "sold off my N700k investment without telling me". And, "dropped a letter saying she was walking out of the relationship". Ha! Why shouldnt one be paranoid about these serpentine descendants of Eve?

My brother, the only lesson here is that you MUST terminate 'love' from your heart forever. I've since realized that the more you show love and commitment to these creatures, the more the serpentine demons in them nudges them to take you for granted, despise you and crush you! If you like, fall sheepishly in love again with the next girl; she'd repeat the 'feat' of her predecessor. The truth is bitter, but you must swallow it for your own good.

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Take heart my brother; its one of those things.

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Is not the end of the role, life still continues. U get luck say u neva propose

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dude just try to take it easy.

think of better things and try to make ur mood better.

Its not going to be easy and will take time but work through it and u will come out a better man. Remember it could always be worse, imagine if she has like 2 of your kids then decides that she wants to leave u or go back to her ex that kind of thing is even harder.

take it easy and make sure u enjoy ur weekend.

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