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Can I Let Her Stay In At My Residence?

I used to have a girlfriend, I loved her very much. But after a few years we both lost contact and when I waited for a year and half for her with no words coming forth from nowhere, I met another girl and we started a relationship. The relationship, however, is still on going. Last week, I met my former girlfriend, we talked over stuff that happened between us and how we lost contact but she wasn't really happy I have another girlfriend now but later claims she understands. Right now, she's in town and wants to start a program which is going to last for about 12 months and she needs a place to stay for a couple of weeks until she sorts out her accommodation problem. I have talked it over with my girlfriend about it but she doesn't seem to have anything to say, she said I should do what I think is best. Do you think I should let her stay until she's on her feet around or should I decline her request? Please this is a pressing issue.

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37 answers

Com on man be reasonable, dnt u think she already had a place in mind b/4 comin. Or did she tell say she was xpecting 2 see u miraculously.? Sugst u giv it a 2nd thought.

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Thank you everyone for the advice! It was appreciated. Wish y'all a good time on NairaLand.

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@ Poster,

Well, I think it’s between you and your conscience. If you are sure in your heart that you don’t have any hidden intentions, just helping out a friend, then why not. Even if she doesn’t stay at your place and you want to have an affair with her, you can still do that.

If she’s really stranded and doesn’t have any other choice, then help her out. If you don’t trust yourself, you can have your GF around for the period she’s staying. If she has any ulterior motive, I’m sure your GF’s presence will scare her away.

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He already asked his gf if she has any probs with the arrangement, and besides this girl only needs to stay a few weeks until she sorts herself out. If the poster is a strong man, he will withstand anything thrown at him if the girl has ulterior motives - but what if she just needs some help? will u allow a fear of the unknown to stop u from assisting someone? What if that was u in need of help? Do u know where u will meet in future?

Dude do your mind's desire - help the poor girl and strong your face.

Be ye kind to those u meet on your way up, as u will surely meet them on your way down

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THESEEKER

so u min i have insulted u 3tymes so far on dis land

haba

i was only tellin others who were plainly givin u advices and u refusin 2 listen 2dem

2 simply tell u wat u wanted 2 hear,sorry if u felt i ova did it

neva knew u were countin the # of tymes i have insulted u

no vex,

@Enockia

Thanks bro 4 watchin my bak

ure a true brother indeed

i believe i hav cleared myself from the soothsayer seeker

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For every action, there's a going to be a reaction. Think about that before making a decision.

Obviously the term Narcissist isn't uncommon with you. I'm assuming the poster wants unbiased views, not selfish ones.

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Dude help the poor thing out, if your girl shows any sign of insecurity - show her your right hand!

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Guy,

Help her out 4 old time sake,

This might be a time for reconciliation,

Damn all the risk,

What will be must surely be,

Whether u allowed her not,

Why not just do the needfulll!!!

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dont ever try it!!! cos it can be very damaging

dont tell me u didnt deduce anything from ur babe's reply, i'm sure that question of urs didnt go down well wit her.

i understand ur feelings toward ur ex (i mean helping her out) cos u might hav shared somtin special in the past but ex can be destructive oooooooooo if care is not taken

just be wise abt ur decisions and consider ur new chick cos she doesn't deserve to be treated badly.

best of luck

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Bros, allow her stay for a while,

at least you know what you're looking for, the taste of the pudding is in the eating, after one and a half year leave.

No harm in tasting it all over again, but beware!

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@topic

You seem like a smart guy, figure it out

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@TheSeeker

u have heard it all, now all u need do is to adhere to the numerous advice and suggestion that has been given to u

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if her ex boyfriend want to pass d nyt in her crib wat will be ur response ? apply it here.simple!!!!!!!

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Spot on bro.

Tit for tat, eh?

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@poster

letz c it d oda way round, ur gf tels u her ex is in town nd wants 2 stay in her place 4 jst 2 dayz nt until he gets accomdatn o?

D ans u give me 4 dis question is d best ans 2 urs.

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she actually meant Dont let her stay @ ur place! She doesnt want 2 say it plainly cos she really loves and respect U. Dont Bleep up my guy!

P.S. A lady played this old trick (that she was handed a quit notice by her landlord) on me last year and I ask my fiancee if d girl can crash @ my end 4 just 1 week 2 sort herself out. and she said d same thing - Dear, I trust U, do what U think is best, Though I didnt allow d girl 2 stay after that statement but I allow her 2 drop few of her loads since I have a vacant guest room. ol'boy my woman vex no b small. I later find a way 2 cajole d girl (intruder) 2 come and take her loads. Now am happily married with my fiance with no probs and later got 2 know d girl is actually planning a a take-over coup! BE WISE!

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well u guys should settle ur disputes

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That is what you think but he has insulted me three times so far on NL but I have never said none to him. I think he has sensible posts, I'm not disputing that but sometimes he gets down too low that I think he's so dumb! Whatever! That's how he chooses to talk but if he insults me again, he won't find it funny.

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he is only telling them to reason again

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look 190 has some nice posts so i totally disagree wit u

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I've seen some of your comments on NL and sometimes I bring your mental sanity under a microscopic scrutiny. Honestly!

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cant u peeps see

he nids sm1 2 tell him wot he wants

@poster

tell her 2 stay so u can Bleep her

hope ure happy now

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And what about the ones where he had insulted people? Well, I think he's a nobody's fool but I sincerely hope someone adopts him

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Your comment was appreciated but you were way too conclusive!

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i pity our girlfriend. From her answer u'll see she is weak and infact knows she is loosing you. Am sure she is shopping for another boyfriend right now.

UR EX STAY WITH U!!!.That is unheard of. Am sure u'll sleep with her the very first night.

Imagine ur girlfriend telling u she wants to spend the night with her ex.

Evidently ur still interested in ur ex and u're seeing this as an opportunity to have her back. Good for u but please don't try deceiving the poor girl u call ur girlfriend.

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heeeyyyyyy!! my guy wan born pickin

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An ibo adage goes[b]:"He who fetches ants invested firewood,should not complain

when lizard pays him a visit"[/b]

Meaning,if u bring her in and let her stay in ur place,do not complain

when she takes over d place of ur present love for life.

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guy,

help the girl out,

its not like she's a`stranger to u.

afterall she just wants to stay till she can find a place of her own.

she could also help u with other household activities.

its a win win situation for u both.

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@TheSeeker

You need to be strong and decisive as to what u want and what u don't want and seriously letting her stay with u is one of those things u shouldn't even dare to want.I say this from the bottom of my heart,experience has taught us lessons that we must learn from or face the consequences.your current GF is definitely not happy though she might opt to remain calm at the moment and besides didn't you promise to make her happy, DEAD END.

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That's not what I meant. I'm just explicating the issue in a more detailed preview.

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my broda risk is an understatement in dis case if you let her in ur house even 4 24hrs, take it from me. if all of ur female friends are not comfortable staying wit her, guy bone de she,that is if u love n cherish ur present relationship.

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it sounds to me like u have made up ur mind.

dont let us stop u, go ahead, and take her in if u ready to loose ur new babe.

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She was planning on staying at a hotel until she's able to find an apartment. But the hotels close to where she'll be attending the program are so expensive and there's a good chance it will take another 3 weeks before she gets an apartment, so looking on the side of the finances, she pulls off this suggestion. Then again, she didn't expect she was going to be admitted for the program -- just came as a shock to her.

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Allowing her stay is as good as saying bye bye to your new grilfriend.

Say no to STAYING!

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And if none of my female friends is comfortable enough to accept her to stay with her?

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when she left to come for this programme, what plans did she make,

cos apparently her plan never involved bumping into you unexpected.

if you must help, pay for a hotel, whatever but not ur house!

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not wise atall.

if you must help, arrange for a female friend of yours that can take her in.

but not you.

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