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Can She Visit Me?

There is this my girl friend I had though a platonic one while in school, we were very close to the extent that we could even sleep together in the same room without any show. Her parents and siblings know me too well, in fact, I even visit and spend weekends in her family house in Ibadan. Currently, I am married to another girl that we met during our service year and we recently moved to Ibadan from Lagos as a result of my transfer.

That my old friend now wants to visit me in my house to see my wife and probably have a chat with her and my wife is objecting to it. Is my wife not taking things too far? Is anything wrong if she visit? Your advice please.

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23 answers

Good luck hope its a success.

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@SA LADY, you do have a point, I am beginning think of using my son's birthday in July to get them together. Actually, this my friend is someone I cant just let go cos I am married, we've share many things in common. however, this is not to say I don't love and cherish my wife, my wife is one in a million; cute, understanding, caring and humble. but with love to a fault that she doesn't want to see anything on shirt near me.

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@Kellysopy, your friend probably means a lot to you and you are obviously very fond of her. There's no reason to cut the friendship over this. What you need to do is to get the two ladies acquainted in a very creative way, e.g if you share common friends have get together's or be at parties at other friends places that way it will all gradually fall into place. You'll be surprised they are already best friends that havent met yet.

If they dont get along well you and your friend will have to make peace at the loss and dont force matters. Family comes first

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My wife insisted that if she must visit, she must do so with her husband, this she knows is not possible as her husband is not in Nigeria.

From my understanding of most posts, no lady must visit me in my house even if it's a colleague in the office except related by blood. na wa ooo! am still new in this game of marriage.

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emboldment unfinished story we want more. Will you be visiting her husband house soon? Anyway why insist that she comes if your wife objects it? What have you got to loose or gain if she comes or doesnt come? think carefully.

We understand she's only a friend but protect your wife's interest and territory in this regard, because when the friend leaves the only thing you may be left with is a lot of work on damage control.

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Can your wife too bring her old boyfriend home? If yes, then go ahead and bring your old girlfriend home while your wife too bring her old boyfriend to spend the night on your bed.

You are a very very bad person. You want to hurt your wife in order to please your old girlfriend. You will not appreciate peace until you see war.

GOODLUCK

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@poster,in as much as she is ur friend.Conveying such message to her shouldnt be a big deal,at least we guys get real wit platonic girlfriends.Just tel her ur wife reaction to her coming was clumsy.She wil undastand afterall she is also a woman.I dont blame ur wife she is only protecting wat she values most especially when ur suppose friend's marriage has a BUT.

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n y is diz friend of urs so curious 2 av a word wit ur wife, i dont think her intentions r gud. n hey, don't 4get she's ur wife.

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if ur wife does not agree wit it, den 4get it. y do people make things more complicated than it is?

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u are right, good advice. but,'' woman's home. ''?

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OP: Be careful. If the girl wants to meet your wife, your wife has the right to refuse to such a meeting. Just because she's your friend, doesn't mean she can dictate what occurs in another woman's home. Again, be careful. Don't let being a man get in the way of you protecting your marriage; prevention is always better than the cure. If your friend insists on entering your house and forcing her 'friendship' up the wife, then you should know that her intentions are not pure. Seriously, be wise.

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I tell you, if you give a woman a step she will take a mile.

You need to be in charge, she is your guest and your wife should not be telling you who should visit(if youre sure there is nothing o).

if she just your old time friend, tell your wife shes coming to visit. PERIOD!!!

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Your wife is just simply jealous and insecure. This is a long time friend and you claim you've never had anything intimate so what's the problem? If its your ex coming to visit you i'll understand your wife's action but with this one Abeg tell am make she free herself.

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One question: how would u feel if it is ur wife that is doing exactly what you re doing?

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Bleep your wife, tell the old friend to come visit

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If your friend doesn't understand or RESPECT your wife's feelings, then her intentions aren't straight. I can't demand to enter a married male friend's home if the wife isn't comfortable; to do so means that I don't respect myself, my friend, his marriage and definitely not his wife. Tell your platonic friend to kick rocks. If she insists, then ask yourself: who is your spouse? Your marriage trumps (or should trump) your friendship with this female.

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@daylae, she's married but,

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U just have to tell her your wife is not pleased with the idea of visiting your home,she'll have to understand. Your wife must have put herself in her shoe to know that she won't let go just like that,but some wouldn't see her visit as a threat. Hey,but this is your wife. . . Is that your said friend married now?

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Mr Oga, let me advise well, don't allow her to come 2 ur crib so u don't destroy ur home.

Some old feelings might come up while hanging out with her which could spark up some reaction,

Use ur head man, unless u wanna use ur willy,

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I discussed this with a colleague of mine and he advised that I should not allow her visit in order not to cause conflict in my home. but how do I tell her?

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When I met my wife I told her about our friendship. Recently, we met at a fast food joint and she was bitter that I don't want to let her know my wife and my home, I was forced to give her my address which I announced to my wife when I got home only for her to object to her probable visit. Do I now tell her not to visit as I cant retrieve back the address.

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with it,

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