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Can You Marry A Married Man?

A married man asked me if I can be a second wife. I know I shouldnt read any meaning to this question but a girl always knows when a man is hitting at her. I have a hunch that things between us will want to go beyond the platonic friendship we currently have. And I definately wouldnt want to be labelled as a home breaker. At the same time, I dont want to assume what is not and spoil our friendship. It was my answer to his question that even suprised me. I answered in the affirmative. A clear 'No' would have sent him a good message but I didnt say that. My dilema now is should I give some gap,at the risk of losing a good friend, or continue at the risk of things going beyond control. Whats your opinion? thanks.

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26 answers

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-484265.0.html

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Its a free world, anybody can do anything they like, and for those asking for her head for telling the truth, you have all done worse in your lives.

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Thanks to all those who made meaningful and useful comments. The likes of you make NL a good place to turn to in times when good advice is needed.

@Boller, see, my problem with NL is that they fail to clarify that those signing up have no history of mental illnesses. If they did, you wouldnt be here. For in a forum where intelligible,reasonable comments, devoid of useless and baseless utterances are needed, you fall short. I dont trade insults but you just went on your knees, begging to be insulted with that piece of crap you posted up there. Theres something called respect for people,but asking that of you will be asking a snail to run. The title of this thread should have been FOR SANE MINDS ONLY, maybe then your cursor would have bounced away, instead of you clicking and disturbing your fingers by typing nonsense. I politely asked for opinions. Mind your business if you cant respond in the same vein.

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U obviously dont knw the trobles of polygamy. Babe pray 4 ur own man. There is so much joy in being a first (and hopefully, only) wife. If he is a christian, u just may be another mistress; and if a muslem, be sure to get 2 more mates. Pls be wise.

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That person is legally married, so don't go.

Like you've rightly said, never plan to be a home breaker.

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if am the one i'll tell him an "NO" i dont know if u want to be in mess.

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u alone has d answer to dat question. QED

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stop deceiving urself, he is not a good friend

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Nairaland question of the Yeaar!

You are there asking if evil is evil.

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Do u nid a prophet to tell u dat u r already treading on d wrong path by even bringin it on forum 4 deliberations? Pls pray n wait 4 your own bone of your bone, dont go breaking anoda person's bones. Dont even desire him, pls free him.

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Na wa what? reply to the topic.

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^^^ Brava Ma Gee, i love ur style

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No.

Why would any woman even do something as silly as marrying a married man?

It's adultery and he wouldn't even stay with you for too long then he goes back to his wife.

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It really breaks my heart to see that a young girl could be contemplating getting married to a married man.

How can you even think of such a thing?

Do you know how many problems come along with polygamy?

Please stay away.

I need to give you my own experience. While married to my ex, he suddenly decided to take another wife, who was over 10

years older than I was. They had been schoolmates. It was clear after sometime tat she no longer wanted to be second wife but

wanted the man all to herself. There was nothing she did not do to make me leave.

My ex rejected my food, locked me out of my room and got very violent on me.

At the end he asked me to leave, even though I pleaded with him to be patient and think about the kids.

After I left him, that broke up less than a year later, and he came back on his knees pleading. It was too late.

Two marriages broken up.

He was to get married four times after that and none f the marriages worked out.

All his wives have told me that he keeps comparing them to me.

Basically what I am trying to tell you, is that you do not know what bonds two people and putting it asunder can bring allot of misery in many peoples lives.

Stay clear.

When I married my ex, he was living in one room and sharing toilet, bathroom and kitchen with others.

I stood with him and but when he became somebody, I became nobody.

God does not sleep!

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why don't u let dis thread die, if it's not so important.

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Ok. Lemme clarify smethngs. He didnt ask me to be HIS second wife, he asked if I can be A second wife. World of difference. My question is, should I assume he's asking 4 his own benefit, and truncate all ties, or continue being his friend though I have a feeling of where this is headed. And hell no! I wouldnt sleep with a married man, cept he's married to me ofcourse!

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Another confused person.

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u want to remain friends with a married man---amen

i hope wen u get married---thats if u dont marry u current friend /boyfriend---that ur husband has friends like u that he would like to marry but ave refused to marry him but continue to remain friends with him.

first and foremost, the man wants to shag ur brains out---- am almost sure he has tried to get in ur pants, thats if he hasnt done so already---y r some women so damn naive and so effing hypocritical

listen--tis either u want to shag him or u want to cut ties with him

come here saying u dont want to loose a friend like him----if i had a friend that wants to marry me as a second wife----then am out like a light---that aint no bloody friend---so stop trying to pull the wool over ur own damn eyes

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@ afrobaby

U r right girl! I have never dated a married man before and will never do it. Why should I when I can have my own man! Most ladies date these men becuz of financial gains and when they have their own marriages they want it to be perfect after hurting another woman's marriage. Karma will always bite.

Well, I thank God for the kind of mother I have, she taught me to respect and believe in myself. I value myself too much to start playing hide and seek affair cos such affairs are.

I can’t stand cheaters; I’ve never condoned cheating in a relationship and never will.

Men are right when they said “both parties (men and women) are cheats" cos men don’t cheat with dogs, cats, goats. They cheat with women like us and those women are not better than dogs cos no decent woman would do such.

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are u ready to be second wife. again be ready for more wives

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The questions you should be asking is, what if am the wife at home, will I be happy.

If you are from a polygamous family, U will understand,

Biblically, it's only two people that can be joined to be one, any additional person is an adversary, an intruder, is that what u want to be seen as?

NO WAY, I CAN'T MARRY A MARRIAGE MAN, HE IS ALREADY MARRIED, NOT FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, AM BEAUTIFUL AND THERE ARE SO MANY SINGLE HANDSOME RESPONSIBLE MEN OUT THERE, WHY WILL I TAKE SOMEBODY'S PROPERTY

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You dont need to smell what you are not going to eat. I wont advice that, I came from a polygamus family and I know what it is like. so my dear forget about him.

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no should b d answer my dear.

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H.E.LL NO!! I'd rather stay single and enjoy a beautiful relationship than PRACTISE POLYGAMY.

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