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Did I Indulge This Lady?

I have been dating this girl for over a year now and ive been having a very hard time trying to understand her personality.

since begining of the relationship, I had shown her how much i cared about her and love her and i know she also loves me

Just recently, she claimed she was not growing any younger, she needed more commitment from me which i did not object to cos i know i was not also growing younger but after that she came up wit some other issues

She claimed if i would like to marry her , i must become a catholic (like her) or better still have a mixed marriage that would never allow any of our children to attnd any other church apart from a catholic church.(I dont feel comforable with this)

secondly, she has now developed the habit of always having her way in the relationship without considering what I feel and once I dare say NO to any of her wishes (mostly selfish), we are bound to start a quarel for about a week onlyfor her to conclude that i dont love her cos i was not bothered about the fact that things have not been going on well btw us.

I would say giving in the relationship has been rather a one sided affair as i ve always done the spending from buying flight tickets,shopping in the most expensive stores,poviding for her personal and even official needs (I did not complain about this) and she had hardly bought anything for me, no matter how small (tho she has a good job)

Unfortunately, I lost my job 2 months ago in one of the distressd banks and she has always been around but still desperate to get me committed under these conditions as she would always tell me some other guys are after her.

I think i am fed up of this relationship cos ,now for the past 2 months ,i ve been able to see a whole lot of differnce btw us.(her attitude and demands)

I have refused to call her for 2 weeks now and she has not bothered to call me.

Guys pls where did i go wrong?

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20 answers

@poster, wise up. Materialism don't keep a lady 4 too long. Wondering why a man dat has money allows a woman to b in control. Women most times abuse privilege n power. Dis is my conclusion a man likes, a woman loves

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@poster, make you writing brief next time. Just don't have the time to read all that.

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drop her like a bad habit abeg

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Thanks so much guys,

I had a chat with her online today and one of the most interesting thing she did was ask me to talk. "Talk about what" I asked her

"About us" she replied.

This had always been the trend as I ve always been the one sorting out issues whenever there s a misunderstanding but this time around, I had to and will continue to ignore her as i ve done for over 3 weeks now cos with her, i m through, done and gone for good. I dont even need to start telling her what she has done wrong or right!

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Am very sorry the didnt truly love you,she only loves the money and the material things she was getting form you.

I always respect guys you are in control.Sorry cant date someone like this that will give me the opportunity to always have my way cos i will misbehave and i will blame him for everything at the end.

Please just forget her.Imagine she hs not called you for weeks for the fact the you dont have a job again and she is working.Everything she was saying that ur children will only attend catholic is that an excuse to dump you cos the knows you may not agree to that.

We ladies at times ,na wa oooooo

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Poster

rules to live by:

never marry anyone who plans to change things that are important to you like your religion or political views

never marry someone who doesn't appreciate the things you do even if it is money spent

never marry someone who always has to have their way without trying to at least compromise

never marry someone who is all over you when things are going well but runs away when you have a pit fall

And never ever ever ever ever have a baby by someone like that hoping that things will change because you have a baby together.

run from that woman she seems sellfish (from what you told us) and she will only make your life hell at least she showed you her true self quickly

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I feel for u dawg, u made amistake by not putting ur foot on the ground, also by not letting her know bout ur feelings. It should be a lesson 4 u.

Either u sit her down, reason wif her and see if she change or u move on.

Frankly speaking i'd say she has already moved on, by not giving a hoot if u called or not.

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@Poster/cool22: i feel for you man. AND I CAN UNDERSTAND. you went wrong when you made the relationship a one way traffic financially. yeah a man should take care of the expenses but a girl who seldom (and when ever she eventually gets to it, grudgingly) spends on you ain't worth it. will definitely not be around if the cookie crumbles for you.

my ex once told me you show your love for a woman when you spend on her. coming to think of it now i think it's safe to say you can make decisions on the appropriateness of wifing a chick by the level of selfless service (time, service and money) she dotes towards you.

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@POSTER, May be you can use this link as a guide for your choice of woman when you are ready for another relationship.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-404469.0.html

Cheers.

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, and you used the term" relationship" to describe this kind of an affair?? No broda, you are certainly not in a relationship.Please dumb her "dirty Bottom" like u ought to have done yesterday though i doubt if she will feel it.

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@poster,

Welcome to the club brother. I've been in two different relationships with catholic faithfuls. The second one was not really concerned about the church thing but the first was whom I believe must have been influenced by the knighthood of her father.

My opinion to this aspect, if you really really want peace in your family, it is better you marry someone that agrees to join your church even before you even tie the knots otherwise trouble go dey o. That will enable her to get used to your faith.

On the demand side of things, I think she's a material-driven kind of woman. This may sound very crazy to you but you better start thanking God that you lost your job because this lady could be the reason for your job loss. You may not understand because it's a mystery. I am 100% sure that you will get a better job before the end of this year. God just opened your eyes to reality because you were so in love that she decided to take you for granted. This has just got to show that she never loved you in the first place. If a girl loves you, she'll be the one advising you to stop spending unnecessarily which I see as another way of giving back to a guy(not necessarily buying things).Gosh, that your babe is so selfish. Trust me,she'll regret it later.

Thank God,you've taken the first step of blanking her for now (don't hate her for her actions because you need a peaceful mind with everyone for God to answer your prayers).

Just keep concentrating on getting a job and keep mingling with people so you don't give enough room for her thought.

And most importantly, keep thanking God for opening your eyes and for all things.

Hope this helps.God bless you brother.

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@porter u re lucky she is showing u herself b4 marriage. Thank ur God cos u have the time to come out of the relationship. Otherwise she ll be the one to make all the decisions in ur marriage. U better quite now or suffocate later in marriage.

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@poster, whether u go for another girl or not, u'll still end up in a hot pot of soup (dont all guys do?). One thing iis obvious in all relationships:

Ur girl will always call u selfish when u make a demand & to a 60% want her to yied. When she makes her own demand, she'll to a 110% want u to yield & when u dont/wanna reason with her, she takes it to mean u dont love her. U stop talking & its down down from there.

So brace urself bro, its gon be d same with d next girl, even ur wife! Most guys marry these days cos they aint got no other choice.

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googles doing the snoop dance

drop it like its hot

drop it like its hot

drop it like its hot ok dats the only part of the song i need

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Ol boy in ur time of need she is not there to support you. It is time to start packaging urself because that woman aint urs sorry to say. For her to be telling you about other guys chasing her instead of supporting you now that you desperately need her support & love says alot about the kind of woman she is! Poster start walking away and dont look back

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d gal is emotionally immature n she's not ready 2 sacrifice.@poster,there's fire on d mountain so u bera run as far as ur legs can carry u.cos i wonder wot man can be with a domineering,selfish n uncaring woman cum mother.she seems 2 me like dose women dat will party n live d children n feeding in care of d house help,spend d money meant 4 family up keep,childrens school fees on jwelrry n latest clothes.2 bera think 2wise, not all dat glitters is gold

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i'm really sorry about that, but i blv there's a better future ahead of you.

but this your gilr no try at all,

haba, givin u conditions even b4 marriage. i'll suggest u think twice b4 makin any decision

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*peers in2 his crystal ball*

I see emotional blackmail looming ahead. . . wait, wait, I also see disrespect and ultimate (gbege) divorce looming ahead. Infact, my guy pack ur bags and run, hw are u sure she's not having a side kick already, any babe bold enough to tell u, u got competition is bold enough 2 go for that same competitor.

Guy, sharp up.

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The hand writing is on the wall man - in your trying moments she decides not to show any commitment, sympathy and loyalty.

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