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Did She Really Love Me?

I met a lady online and we became friends but after some months we became lovers, we do talk online everyday and even on phone both in the morning and at night as things getting good with us she decided to see me face to face not only on picture and I really love her also she too thus love me. I got to Abuja and she was very happy to see me also introduce me to some of her family and siblings.

She works as secretary with an IT firm so do I but am an engineer and company is in Lagos. I came back to Lagos after someday she ask me to give her some money which I did, not more than a week she ask of another money which is 20,000 naira and I could not raise all but got her 10,000.

I wanted her to come and see me in Lagos but her work won’t let her then fortunately for us her friend was doing a wedding in Lagos and she had to come with their colleagues but promise to stay with me when she comes, late that day they got to Lagos and she went an hotel with her co-workers after the wedding she had to go back and I gave her 10,000 to go back even after the company has provide them transport and she did not come because of me but the wedding.

However, a view weeks after she left back to Abuja she ask me of some money that her Junior brother is resuming back to school that she need me to give her 30,000, but I told her I am sorry that I could not get the money why because I had just pay for my own little sister, for me saying that she got mad and stop taken my calls even when I told her that I really lover and gave her a promising gold ring that I will marry her if she can give me love.

Moreover, she insult me online when ever I see her online but now she is begging me that it was a transfer of aggression but what about the things she has done to me, the tiers and the sleepless night? I need advice, is it that she did not really love me as she clam or she only need my money? Please the great people with good wisdom please help me out with your knowledge

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15 answers

she is a fake .forget her, !

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common guy ,dont ever think of giving the lady a chance , if u do ,sorry dt means u are digging ur grave. love is a sacrifice ,if the girl has 2 wait 4 u to pay 4 her travelling dt means she is not seroius and not ready to make a sacrifice ,though there is nothing wrong paying her back after d visit. realy she just want to play and mugu u. dont rush urself will find real love.she is a fake

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@ Yim.

That chick is definately "sick in the vision"! She is not real one bit!

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Silly boy, take time oh, anyway sha, I agree with your style, but just as you pointed out, it doesn't work with a lot of ladies!! I feel you sha, but when a brother sister is in love, that could be difficult. I don't believe that girl is real, that's y he needs to talk to her to find out her intentions.

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Be careful, dear. If u dearly love the girl, give her another oportunity. forget totally about sending more money to her no matter the importance attached. this is a way of putting her into study again.

This gal may be a nice gal,but the nature of her upbringing may be influencing her. you have gone to her home,seen the siblings. cant u analyse her problem with reference to her background? You can change your partner if her background is the case. for her to have taken you her pastor means that she has that little fear of God in her. I think that gal has the potential.

Put her into a kind of training to your taste. if she cant adapt ,then you know she does not love you. she loves money.

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@yara

Ol' boy that girl is a fraud. Gbabenchi.

There are no two words for it. Don't pay any air fare.

Take it from me there's no hope in this rl'ship. Decent girls don't begin rl'ships with incessant demands.

She'll prolly even go all the way n' marry u once she's certain her financial life is secured in you. . .and then make your life miserable.

My guy take time out n' clear ur head sharp sharp.

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Many thanks to the well meaning Nairaland users for their contributions and advice, it really opens my eyes on how girls could be and i think i have actually learnt my lesson.

Esther is 27 while am 31 this year. Ever since my life time i have never board a plan with my money but my company pays for me when ever i have an outside job to carried out for them.

Yesterday, Esther told me she wanted to come and see me in Lagos coming Friday but ask me to pay her to/fro air ticket from Abuja but which i told her i don’t have it and she did not say anything again and i did that simply because of your advices.

The most painful of it is that when i was in Abuja in the hotel i lodge in to at our fist night together i actually want to have it with her but she told me if i do she will not marry me because of her covenant with God, but after caressing each other very well she called me to do it for her which i decline why because i don’t want to lose her, then after that she took me to her pastor and introduce me which makes me to love her so much but not again with all the collective advice i 've gut from here.

Yemiton, i think u really right and i promise not to even call her again talk less of given money i think she show me who she really is and some members that think am a MAGA as they called i am using this avenue to let them know am not one at all but its just that if u are in love it consume you like fire and that’s was what happen to me.

PEACE OUT TO ALL NAIRALANDER that contribute to this and i still expect more advice on what to do if to give her a chance or not

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You've been duped.If i were you,ill be thinking of vandetta right about now

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If you really love her and you sincerly want to marry her, I'd advice you give her a chance, but she'll have to make some sacrifices too. This doesn't mean you should become unnecessarily selfish and self centred, just do things with moderation. Sit her down and talk with her, what does she really want with you? does she love you? is she ready to settle down? is she ready to go the extra mile with you? is she currently seeing any other person? these and more are things u have to find out.

If your girlfriend want to come all the way from Abuja to see you and u can afford it, i see no reason y you shouldn't pay her flight fare, just make sure, she's actually coming and not taking you for a fool. Don't allow your previous experiences with her totally turn you into what you're not.

Take care and be wise.

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Ayeesha.

Where you refering to me?

Digging into my pocket

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Lol This isn't the question of love, but lust, lust for ur money.

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Dear, one thing i really understabd here is that u have a kind heart.Out of experience, the lil advice i can give you is to hold back a little. You love the gal, yes, but have you hold on 4 a moment to see what this gal really wants from you? You were so fast @ giving out that engagement ring.

Now, you can still call her @ will,but give her another chance of trial.Dont make ur self a money bag that coughs out the money each time she makes the request,cos each time you really cant give, she may misunderstand you.

One thing is certain in relationships; The impression you give ur friend @ start matters a lot. What kind of impression did you give her when you met her online? you still have the time to redress yourself. maybe she would see it & run away if she's not 4 u.

Good luck

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Hmm @ post u hv heard it all so na u kw o

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Dear Yara, the hand writing is too glaring for any matured minded human being not to see that your internet girl friend is not real. She's "dating" you only for the money and when you stop giving her money, she'll definitely jilt you. I can't imagine how a lady will be asking you for money when you've only just started dating and she gets mad when you can't provide all she wants even after you've explained your situation to her. Surely she's taking you for granted. You're too serious in this so called relationship. Pls, take it easy and DON'T DON'T give her any more money until she can prove to you in other ways that she genuinely cares about you and wants you for real.

If you really care about her, you may keep up the relationship, but don't go about giving her money, that doesn't totally prove how much you love her. Besides, distance could really be a problem when you're trying to start a new relationship.

Tread with wisdom!

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