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Do Nigerians Always Marry Each Other?

Hi for those who don't know me I'm Nayah and brand new in your forum which is very funny and interesting. Well brothers and sisters, I would like to have your opinion about something African community used to say about the fact Nigerians use to marry each other. It means even though they can date other women their family are conservative especially step mother who wants an original Nigerian sometimes from the same tribe, some African like, Ivoirians, Ghanians, Liberians have told me that. What do you think, thanks

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108 answers

As the only son, I think sometimes it's difficult to marry outside his tribe.

Except He was raised outside the country or his parents are very liberal.

He might be real and sure wants to settle down with u but pressure back home might be the "decider".

Sit him down and discuss your fears with him.

Also try to get closer to his family or atleast take trips to Nigeria with him to know his people.

Wish u the best.

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yah, Nigerians are fond of inter-tribal marriage. Unless those who travel abroad who felt they should marry elsewhere due to certain reasons.

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No henry he's the only son and the last one,

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@ Nayah

Is your BF the first son of his parents?

Does he have other brothers and where are they presently?

Thanks.

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looooooool Martinosi well thanks for your contribution

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Calm down bro, take it easy,  those Nigerian Girls are still young, let them hit 30 years

and no Husband they will soon start running in search of a Good Guy like you.

And if you are taken by then, they will book their ticket to NIGERIA and

seek out their Nigerian Prince lol!!!

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Sooooooooooooo True!!! Period!!!

And may i add this Nigerian Girls Born & Raised in Nigeria " Put Marriage of an Olympic Gold Medal Podium!!!! THEY DONT PLAY WITH IT, Its like the Highlight of their Relationship CAREER!!!

And another thing a Non-Nigerian Black person who has lived in Nigeria would always

be mistaken for a Nigerian unless they tell you otherwise (And i am now finding out that some of my friends are really Ghanian, Togo, Sierra Leone etc after all those

years in Secondary school thinking they were Nigerian)

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Nigerians mostly marry Nigerian Girls, because you cant marry people

you dont interact with socially,

Most Nigerian guys i know that marry Non-Nigerians live abroad!!!

Only two live in Nigeria and the only reasons why they married non-nigerian

girls ie one White-American and the other Israeli is becuase those two guys

went to the same private school with them in Naija!!!

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hmmm i have heard all the discussions and i can only conclude

that a Nigeria Man will Mostly Marry an African Lady if not a Nigerian.

A nigerian Guy will not give it a "2nd Thought " to marry any girl no matter want race she is if and i say if she was born and raised in Nigeria.

So that means Nigerian, Other African ie Ghana, Togo, Mixed Race, North

African, Asia, American etc if they have lived in Nigeria for a long time

or were raised in Nigeria due to the fact that a woman that has been raised or has lived in Nigeria for a Long Time will have the Core Naija Spirit!!!

A Nigerian Guy living abroad will be more likely Marry a "white girl" or "Non Nigerian Girl" that was raised in Nigeria from the age of 5 to 18 or lived

in Nigeria for a long time, than a Nigerian Girl that was Born and Raised Abroad!!!

I have seen that when you have been born and raised in Nigeria or Lived

in Nigeria for along time as a woman of any race you will understand the

Nigeria "Naija Norms" more and be able to understand and flow with

the Nigerian Man in general.

That why some of my Nigerian friends have Scottish and English wives

and mixed Race wives who were raised most of their Youth in Nigeria

due to their Parents being Exparts etc,

And for those that doubt this, i will send you the link of messageboard/forum

of girls ie English, American etc that went to British, American International school

and others School  in Nigeria that later on in LIFE MARRIED NiGERIAN MEN,

But on the Avergae Nigerian Men mostly marry Nigerian Ladies,

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no we only marry japanese

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fixed- the parts in tiny font are irrelevant.

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Most homeboys 4rm 9ja are ready to marry any female with much dough 4rm any part of the world(well except 4rm iran,afgahnistan,iraq etc)

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Marabout: You are forgiven. And I agree with your last comments. Dating people from other cultures does present challenges, but learning about those cultures is what is most enriching. That's part of the attraction. And you don't have to be born in Nigeria to follow a recipe for rice and pepper soup or whatever it was that an earlier poster made a reference to, One only needs to be able to read and follow a recipe. Believe it or not, white north american women do have some qualities to recommend them to others of different cultures and races. We're not a bunch of complete losers. Thanks for your response,

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To Ohmigod,

That message was addressed to you in error. You did not open a thread about who to date or marry, Nayah did.

In real life I stopped advising female friends about dating long time ago as soon as I realised that women generally don't actually need your sincere opinion in that regard. Since you know they will do what they have already decided to do, just offer your support. Painful sometimes when you can see some obvious "signs" that they cannot see. Since they won't listen anyway no need playing killjoy. Like I said in a previous post, experience is the best teacher.

I think it's good for people to independently make their own decisions.  If it works for them, wonderful. If it doesn't, offer them a shoulder to cry on.

I am not a relationship Czar and I did not seek anyone's advice before making my own choice. I would have thought that everybody marries for love.

Not that the opinion of over 30s like me matters these days but we do have some experience that only education and sophistication of modern life cannot provide.

Regarding family values and all that, the rate at which marriages/families (African) are crumbling here in the West and wife killing is happening in America seems to suggest otherwise. You are right other nationalities have family values: Italians, Arabs, other Africans and more certainly do. As a guy who dated women of several races and cultures, I should know. But I also know that  dating people of other culture come with their own peculiar challenges.

Good luck.

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To Marabout

"Family values, respect for elders, and generousity towards friends and family" are not qualities that are singular to Nigerians who live in Nigeria. I would agree that the faced paced life here in North America at times appears to leave those values behind, but some make a point to keep them present in their lives- both Nigerian and non Nigerian people. "

Your statement to me about who I can marry (" you can marry one of those, ") is more dismissive to Nigerians living outside of Nigeria than it is to me. And for the record, I will date or marry whomever I please. Or not. I am free to do so. And my friends and family would support whatever choice I make.

True love will be my only motivation and if he is a Nigerian man we will build a life together and not care what the Marabouts of the world think,

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theblessde non offense but sophisticated people are not only in Nigeria and sometimes being, natural and yourself but now if you are telling me we need to "tto much" yes we are different,

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theblessde don't offense but sophisticated people are not only in Nigeri

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@ohmigod,

Well, on the surface Nigerian may appear to live a very long time in Europe/America/Diaspora but some have returned over the past few years. Some due to lucrative employment opportunities in Communications sector and banking. Some in the US just got fed up after losing houses (subprime) and business. They just returned home especially some who invested back home earlier.

For an average immigrant, the dream is to return home some day. Of course many never manage to do so. Despite the prosperity in Diaspora there is always something missing: family values, respect for elders, generosity towards friends and family and people being there for you in difficulty. This may be difficult for some foreigners to appreciate because they think that because an immigrant is relatively economically better off now, why go back home?

Of course there are some immigrants who for personal reasons may not have any plan to return. So yes ohmigod you can marry one of those.

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@Nayah, if you are going to marry a Nigerian, I think you may be better off marrying an Ibo chap. Until early 1960s, part of anglophone Cameroon was part of Eastern Nigeria! So if you are looking for cultural proximity, that may be what you need. If you want to marry for love no matter what the future holds, then go ahead and marry anyone you like.

@Ujujoan, I don't know about Ibo men but all the Ibo ladies married to us (members of my extended family and non-Ibo ) have all been a singular blessing. I don't think those family members would have succeeded better in life with intra-tribal marriage.

I feel very touched when I see interracial couples loving up. It kind of reminds me of the days of innocence and I always wish them good luck.

Chere Nayah, there is no TUEV or MOT for a relationship or marriage. Until you get into it you never know how long it will last. Most couples have good intentions when they start but it is a marathon not a 10 seconds sprint.

If you are tolerant, long-suffering, forgiving, generous and accommodating, you have a better chance of making a success out of it.

Bon courage!

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Just to Prove that Nigerians Dont Always Marry Each Other

and so that we can end this thread as quick as possible

Pls Will you marry me,

This will show the world that Nigerians are open minded

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just to prove that Nigerians Dont Always Marry Each Other?

Will you Marry Me

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You need to update ur research result, pple have moved on, the younger generation is more open minded, i guess u carried out ur WESTERN AFRICAN 20-30yrs ago, among the tribes in Nigeria, Igbos are more travelled and more exposed to other cultures. Your views about Igbos and their culture has passed its sell-by date.

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First of all brauneyes I was born in France and am living there so I'm french, Camerounian because my father is full cameroonian, german because my mother has german blood and cameroonian.

Then yes, I wouldn't like this topic turn to tribe clashes, just want to have your impression about I 've noticed. Thanks for your honesty about Igbo tribes, but one thing I was not sure to marry him I have the affection for him but just affection. Actually, I really like him but not as a husband and the fact , anyway it's really good to know more about some culture and traditionnal things. But that's pity because we are in 2010 and the world is changing,

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This is quite simple. Almost every nationality out there would rather stick with their own. This is because it makes a lot of things easier such as culture and understanding. People who speak the same language and those who share a similar culture tend to have a lot of things in common assuming that their background is similar.

Of course those in the western world depending on how they've assimilated into their new abode might be a bit western hence marrying outside of their countries and ethnic tribe or still mostly traditional which means they rather marry from their country of origin. It depends on which category your now bf falls into.

Igbos are highly traditional and they tend to stick to their own. There are many out there who are happily married to women from other countries. Life isnt black and white so do you!

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Most relevant answer for me. Kudos.

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This answer is too simple

Nigerians within Nigeria borders will prefer to marry someone of their ethnic back ground or closer to their area of origin because of proximity.

Nigerians who spread out across Africa will inevitably take on wives from these areas they settle in but probably look for traits that are similar to their cultural values. Some Nigerians are polygamous in culture and so do not see a big issue with taking on second wives if the opportunity arises. it depends on the individual

Nigerians outside of Africa will inevitably marry people from these regions depending on their values and customs.

Bottom line it depends on your value system and if it is compatible,though some people chuck this fact out the window. They everly regret it when they get much older.

IF YOU ARE AFRAID OR DOUBTFUL OF MARRYING A NIGERIAN THEN YOU ARE NOT READY TO MARRY ONE.

Simple as ABC

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@ Justwise

I"M NOT EVEN FROM THAT REGION, I'M ONLY CITING THE FACTUALLY OBVIOUS WHICH NEGATE ME BEING BIAS. I DID INTERNSHIP AT THE U.N AND IMF IN WASHINGTON D.C. AFTER DURING AND COLLEGE AND MY RESEARCH FIELD DEALT WITH WESTERN AFRICAN AND EASTHERN AFRICAN SOCIO-ECONOMICAL CHARACTERISTICS IN THE PRE AND POST COLONIAL ERA AS RELATES TO GLOBAL ENVIRONMENT WHICH HAPPEN TO INVOLVE MARRIAGE AND CULTURE , SO I THINK YOU CAN APPRECIATE MY NEUTRALITY HERE, DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER!!

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@nayah, How come you claim to be french, german and Cameroonian. If you were born in Cameroon, then u are cameroonian?

Most of us nigerians in this forum hold a foreign passport but that does not make us no longer nigerian. I personally was born in Nigeria, went to college in Nigeria and Germany, speak very good german but now live in the US. I cannot claim to be American or German, even if i hold the passport. I am a natural born NIGERIAN. So please.

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Yours is a case of one in a million an like I said, you cannot concretely generalize.

I have a cousin who married a German and after a 10 year marriage is asking us to find a 'Nigeria wife' for him.  And that is not an isolated case, it's very very common especially with Igbos.

How many threads do we get on this forum where Nigerians abroad dont even want to marry their own people there. They prefer Nigerians living in Nigeria. Are you telling me they NEVER dated a non-Nigerian they could have married comfortably

Are u a sociologist or a statistician? Do you have any data to back up  these  generalisations? U are saying that if "A" happens that be "B" MUST happen. Can you bet with your life that "B" must happen?  Show me facts not emotions or stereotypes. How can you speak for over 100 million folks? This is 2010 it ain't 1900.

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so e don turn case abi, no vex

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Niger-Delta abi? especially the Edos they know how to take good care of their woman.

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go and ask married couples not these noise makers

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Am born in 9ja with rubber spoon and not silver spoon. As a youth, am striving to make a good future for myself and next generation because I pass thru hell in my childhood age. So wateva I suffer to establish is for my next generation to enjoy cos 9ja of tomorow won't be easy, so if they live abroad and sell my sweat just to enjoy in a develop country wat is my aim of suffering and struggle? No be waste? or wat is my aim of struggling if there is no child to enjoy nor be there to look over and manage my investment wen they all base abroad? We all have diff perception on how we see this issue but for me, home is home even if it is slum I would ever go back there. Ask urself, why OBJ no go abroad go dey enjoy the money wen him embezzle? Look at the likes of Adenuga, dangote and other prominent and rich guys in 9ja. Mind u, their children r all base in 9ja and manage there investments. I know 4 sure ur children would ever live when they r grown up but how would you feel if they sell ur investment, take the money to a foreign land and blow it all. Na wetin fit bring them come back 9ja again wen there is nothing to fall back on for livelihood? To me I see them like bastard!!. Simple.

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To clarify on the "hard to get close to" comment, what was meant was that there sometimes seems to be a mild level of 'suspicion" or maybe 'apprehension' is a better word, that one feels when approaching a black man. On their part. It's hard to convey what this feels like, and these forums don't really lend themselves to full expression. Maybe it's better to not to try to explain it. It's a generalization for sure, but I have experienced it. I was always able to get past it within a minute or so, but I also know it wasn't my imagination.

I would be interested to know how many Nigerians leave Nigeria for employment opportunities and then live the rest of their lives outside the country. Some of these responses seem to refer to 'bringing a foreign wife back home' and her adjustment to that environment, but how many go home permanently? I know I could be married to a Nigerian man in my country and there would be no problem whatsoever.

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Olibyno I've heard about taking care of women but I've also heard somethings not very good abouit ibos like being each other sometimes violent but whatever a peron is not a tribe so, but no I'm a real cameroonian not an igbo brother, actually I'm from the french part of Cameroon,

Damysa and Mikerich thanksbrother and sister I think like you

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It all depends on the people who are involved.

If you like a Nigerian, then go ahead and marry the

person. Happiness is always better than sentiments.

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@the saintz: you dey see wetin i see? but na me come first ooooo, so you go wait after me, lol

@Naya:Chei! i just loooked at you pic again, nawa ooo, won't you like to be a Nigerian by marriage, Ibo precisely, we sabi take care of women well well infact its our tradition. i knew you wouldn't give out your contact upon say i yarn some french for you, parle en francaise ( I just pray you understand pigin english)

Back to the topic, i strongly believe Nigerians wishes to marry each other, for them it's very essential.

We (home) Nigerians guys, we can fall in love with any woman from any part of the world but we have this flare for our ladies coz it makes us feel at home & fullfilled. You can quote, a Nigerian guy abroad would consider getting married to a fellow nigerian than foreigners just becoz they both came from the same place and would further do anything to get her.

i have a couple of of friends that travelled abroad for the Masters, fews weeks on getting there, they both had marriage proposals from nigerians and they were really desperate. in so many cases a Nigerian guy would have a home based wife and a foreign wife as well, its just a norm, Though Nayaif na you, i promise i no go go for anyoda person coz you get everything (Home based & foreign base), lol

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That a relationship isn't working is not always due to tribal differences, I could tell you most marriages between Nigerians could be a living hell. I married from my villlage and there have been loads and loads  problems/misunderstanding from inlaws, husband etc until we started ironing out things. Just before I stumbled into this post, I was just thinking maybe I should have married the other guy who wasnt from my village.

Even though the poster might have a sour relationship with her guy it might not just be connected to her tribe. To me marriage is who u are and not where u are from.

why must u bring your children home to suffer? whether oyibo or naija kids, when its time for them to be on thier own, they will leave u period. whether u have same culture, tradition etc is not a determining factor for a successful marriage.

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Well said!!

Like they say, 'blood is thicker than water', your background or culture will always be you no matter where you go. Some Nigerians still marry foreigners but the chances of a lasting marriage is LOW.

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my friends r doing a lot of work for u o,

r u the same as NAYAH T.

The other name Starting with T and ending with S

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The Saintz my father is Cameroonian and mother has a grand father who was german and she's also cameroonian

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Nayah where did u say thatr u r from

your pic is looking like someone from benin or yoruba in naija, a lot of my friends around me like your face o

n want to know you

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well, the bitter truth is that our ladies here in naija are more of great virtue and i don't think that can be under-emphasized when it comes to a life time decision like marriage.

you can predict them more than the foreigners, especially whites cos we've lived with them and they think twice before taking decisions, unlike them them!!, lol

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I know a family that everyone is married to people outside there tribe and country, the beautiful thing is that they blend wonderfully

every christmas thay all gather in lagos from all around the globe just to enjoy themselves, its also lie a mini carnival, seen europeans, southafricans, ethopians and ghanaians all together.

i think it because there r no boundaries n the parents r simple minded, n there r just no hidden agenda anywhere. there is always laughter in the house

@least this is what i see, maybe there r issues that we just dont see

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i know not every nigerian girl can do that but for a man to say i cant marry because ure not from my country . . theres is somthing about his country women he doesnt see in you . . .what i said earlier is mostly for nigerian guys

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Naya, is that your pic on your profile? huh?

wow! you are truly beautiful

Nice Topic, i thought i would see your contact, may be email, messenger e.t.c, uoynietseretnimai!

Tu es jolie et j'aime beacoup

telephone de numero? sil'vous plait

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this doesnt sound quite right.

Nigerian men do date and marry non-Nigerians in huge numbers.

and just today I read an article about an Australian lady married to a Nigerian who is considered one of the foremost authorities on eastern Nigerian history. The woman, that is, not her Nigerian husband.

Many more like her, too.

and on NL alone, there are countless threads praising non-Nigerian women. So I'm not too sure what this thread is about, actually.

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