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Do Tribes And Cultures Matter In Love And Marriage?

Does Ethnic Group/class Matter Where Love/Marriage Is Concerned?

Why should a person's culture or tribe matter when love or marriage is concerned? I have seen so many couples break up due to the fetish belief of marrying your own tribes person. Isn't it weird that it is still practiced in this 21st century?

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19 answers

they shd not matter but shd not ignored

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Heh. Pleased to meet you. Have a lovely time at church!

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@ Seun

Who said that I think people are more different than they are alike? And who says that they are part of who I am? I do. Do I think that they should matter in terms of relationships with people? No. But they are still part of my life just as they are a part of everyone's lives even if they don't want to admit it. Everyone is ruled in some way by the traditions of their heritage because it affects the parents, who raise the children, who then raise their own children and so on. Even if I wanted to completely ignore my heritage there are still things that I do or think that are an effect of that heritage in some way. We cannot completely shun our heritage in the hopes that it will somehow make the world a more unified place. There will always be cultural differences because on a globe this large there are different ideals and practices that will benefit the peoples of different places. Why ignore that for the sake of "unity?"

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Says who? The same traditions and heritage! This is the same way people justify religion. "The bible is true because the bible says , " "Tradition is important because my mother said , " I just see culture - like religion - as something that arbitrarily divides people, who are more alike than they want to believe they are.

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@ Seun

My traditions and heritage are part of who I am, they're part of where I come from. Especially in a place like America where it's a giant melting pot of different people. It's part of respecting my parents and grandparents, appreciating where they came from and the struggle they went through so that I could have a better life. It's my history and if you can't hold on to some part of where you come from what are you left with? I think it would be different if my family had lived in the US for hundreds of years, maybe it wouldn't be so important, but my family has been here for less than a hundred years. I'm American, but the history of my family is more closely tied elsewhere. It was passed from my father anyways, my mother doesn't have as much connection with her heritage because her family is French Canadian and when you're living in New York, Canada is just the "state next door."

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Shannon, why is it so important to pass on traditions? Any reason in particular, or is this belief in itself just another tradition that your mom passed on to you "because"?

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I completely agree with this idea. My boyfriend is Nigerian, I'm American and I think it's essential to pass on cultural traditions no matter what cultures are represented. I'm American but my family is Irish in heritage, I grew up with a lot of traditions from the Irish culture because it was important to my family. It's important to instill in children where they come from so I completely agree that you shouldn't give up your culture. It's all about making adjustments without abandoning who you are.

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Well,one cannot generalize on this topic. It depends on a lot of factors,which I wont enumerate for now. Me,am from CRS,am married to a Yoruba lady,and I know for a fact that am much better than if I were married to someone from my tribe. My most senior brother was married to an Ibo lady till she died,and he did not have any complains,the boy next to him is married to a lady from Plateau state with no regrets!2 of my sisters are married to boys from Delta,and one of my other brothers,married to a lady from Delta. Non of  us has any problems with these choices.BUT the fundamental thing, is that we all live independent lives and do not tolerate family interference in our homes. The only person with marital problems is my sister married to a guy from our tribe!

I guess the extended family consider us all rebels!

So does tribe matter in love and marriage?- YES and NO,BUt the most important factor is the couple concerned and how they choose to live their lives-To please others OR to ensure their own happiness. Me I know what I want,and no tradition,cultural expectations will influence me! There are as many broken homes in same tribe marriages as there are in different tribe relationships(don't quote me sha!)

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Indeed ethnic group, class and religion matter in a case of love and marriage so that one is not unequally yoked. Some ethnic groups in Nigeria demand as much as five hundred thousand naira when it comes to the marriage project and as such i will be very careful when the time comes for love because i think its absurd. Not to talk of the fact that this particular ethnic group will make sure you train all the sibblings in addition to other "useless" demands.

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although i agree dat we r all Nigerians but culture and tradition matters 2 me. big up 2 those who marry outside their tribe.good if they like it and enjoying it. i don't mind. on a personal note, as am an igbo gurl, i can't marry a non-igbo and even in igbo, tradition differ 4rom town 2 town or even state 2 state, wheneva i tell ppl i cannot marry a non-igbo, they alwqatz say am tribalist but am like NO, itz a choice and I have ma reasons 4 dat. am da kind dat learning language very diffcult, i want my kids to speak igbo bot where by they r stuck in between etc and i have friends 4rom oll ova 9eria but ma choice remains 2 be an igbo man, anambra or even Nnewi if itz God's will, ppl do it and it works 4 dem, if u now ur capability, do wat u can handle.

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Hmmm, take heed to your own signature my friend!

Besides, not all Americans marry anyhow and divorce anyhow(as you put it).

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why do we Nigerians seem to think we have the monopoly on culture and tradition i fear it makes us look foolish!

i cannot speak for America as i have never spent any real time there, but i did grow up in Scotland and they have so many traditions regarding who you can or cannot marry. until recent history you would not have been permitted to marry anyone from a diffrent clan that is any one not belonging to you tribe- and if a man married a woman who's family were more wealth or powerful (from a different tribe) than his own he would have to take on the womans family name if it is stronger than your own.

A man would also no have been allowed to marry a woman younger than him ,as his family would have to be sure she was strong enough to help her husband through his life, indeed a young couple were not permitted to marry until the girl was pregnant. the couple had to live together in the man parents home until the woman became pregnant ,if after 1yr she was not pregnant they were forced to split and not allowed to try and marry anyone else for 1yr.

none of these things are still practiced but Scottish culture has not fallen appart they are a patriotic people second only in my own experience to Nigerians. culture is built on the peoples of a land, people are not built on the culture they are the culture.

every culture has traditions but the world is becoming smaller and we must move with the times or be left behind

marry the person you love.

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U rite even though theres da love, theres also the differences

and that is always the problem

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i think it matters a little imagine a yoruba guy marrying an hausa girl apart from family there is religon and a few other things, but not to say love cannot over come it but there will be difficulties in a marraige between people from different tribes

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I agree that our cultures are unique and make us unique

but i dont really think is that much important in whom you

choose to love or marry,

i be hatin them shiit about ooh you cant marry him/her cause he/she

from this tribe, (love is all dat matters)

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Tribe matters oh! We are not americans or british that marry anyhow and then divorce anyhow. We have a culture and tradition and that doesnt make us any less civilized, All of us Nigerians who are ashamed of our values should change, Our values make us unique, and even the so called oyinbo's are envying it! if not, then why are they investing so much in africa history and artifacts and cultures, even our dance is now a talk of the entire world, Abi u neva see oyinbo wey dey dance makossa?

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It does matter. Lets forget 21st century and all those ideas. Its in your best of interest to marry from your tribe but its advicable not to marry from any other tribe or culture different from yours except u are ready to face or u have enough knowledge and understanding of what u getting in to (marriage). One should only get involve in such engagement if at least 85% of ur inlaws agree with the marriage unless its future trouble u playing with. Simply because each of ur respective family attitudes towards the marriage will always have effect on their child or daughter.

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i think it's really weird, i don't see the reason why culture or tribe should stop ya from marring someone you love

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