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Do U Think Its Over?

My Boyfriend, after I refused to buy cigarettes for him, he removed me from his FB friends and he never contact me since them and it’s been 3 weeks now, I was always hoping he’d call but he hasn’t even this moment, Only God knows how much I miss him but I am willing to hold my horses as long as it takes for him to call me back

So my questions are:

1. Do u think he will call

2. Shud I beg him, shud I cry, shud I email him or text him

3. shud I call him and ask whats going

4. or just sit here and figure that its over between us

5. Do u really think I was just cigarettes to him

6. do u think removing me from his FB friends was just a way to say we were done

7. Shud I degrade my dignity and go after him to get those answers

8. Or Maybe let it be and forget about him

9. Is it possible that he may have a problem with his phone or something

10. Shud I ask his friends so that they can tell him I was asking about him, then run a risk of putting my reputation at stake

Only God knows how much I hate begging, even worse if it includes BFs drama, keep in mind that I cant spend a minute without thinking about him, and remember he saved my Cell numbers as ABC and the other one as XYZ on his phone book

And finally please answer the questions other than that rest assured, no one want to read Ur pointless response

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41 answers

hey Tracey, forget about him. he doesn't deserve you. I dont know if it's okay by you but can I have your Yahoo id so that we can chat?

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dear i dn't have much to say to you but i think, i ve a question for you.

how much love do you still have in that heart of yours for him after

knowing that his probably playing with your mind uh?

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@Poster,

From day one that guy wasn't real.It's over so just quit worrying urself over him.Look for someone more deserving.

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umm threadstarter, are you actually 40?

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@MRbrownJAY

Only 3 words for u bro , , .OH MY GOD

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first let me just say that all what you wrote there is bullshit because if you practiced what you, so well, preached then you wouldnt be in such silly situation. here what you should have done and stand for (taken from the horse's mouth): I don’t need a man to be happy or I can live perfectly without being in a r/s

if you had followed and stood by these statements , you wouldnt be ranting about silly childish stuff as you do here. no point in saying something and then come round and do the complete opposite.

ok there are a few things that you gotta know about life.

one of these things is that you shouldnt give your heart to anybody that comes your way, you should first study them, understand them, get to know them, spend time with them date them and somewhere along, care for them and maybe love them. if for any reason they decide to dump you then something was definitely not working but let me tell you a very important point. if you are a mature person and end up with some guy that cannot even get a phone charger and dont have money for ciggies then you either should be ready to spend a lot or move on with your life.

also any person who has been in love will testify that when a person is TRULY in love, buying a pack of cigarette will never be the reason to quit. call me crazy but is that so much for you (an independent adult) to spend for someone that you "couldnt stop thinking about"?! get your priorities straight before going into any type of relationships.

ladies like to say that men are cheap if we dont pay for dinner but if a woman buys a pack of cigarette as a "SPOIL FOR BIRTHDAY" then cheap is an under statement.

also another thing is that, if you attract a$$holes all the time then you shouldnt blame them but rather look at yourself and find out what attracts these men or what makes you choose a$$holes. you are confused at the highest level: first you say that you dont need men for happiness and then you write:" dont u think its kind of a waste of time to be in any kinda r/s for happiness". please can you tell us WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IN THESE RELATIONSHIP since it is not happiness?!

practice what you preach or be quiet but dont talk poo about the two option that you made for yourself. you either decide to be happy by yourself and so be it or you decide to "put your heart out there to look for happiness" as you so put it and so be it. cant stand women who call us a$$hole the minute they realize we aint  what they wish we were.

anyway the following statement makes me understand why you only meet a$$holes.:

-"Gee we dont meet those kinda guys who sees u once at night in the party and never 4get u" (oh lawd what kind of men have you been meeting before?!)

-"so we exchange numbers, he called and we met and we date, exchange promises of love, do some future planning, share our dreams and all the poo" (and you left him for a pack of cigarettes?!)

-"I loved him the very first moment I lay my eyes on him" (didnt your dignity/pride stop you from acting a fool then?)

and last but not least you wrote:"we don't choose whom we fall in love with, when our hearts making choices its just not in our hands, so I guess Im gona have to re-do this more often hey"

any adult will know that our hearts leads us down a path but we use OUR HEADS to make sure that we dont become zombies to something that may not be right to us.

if you can stop yourself from buying worthless pack of cigarettes then use that same common sense to walk away from these no good men of yours"before the deed is done"

the answer to why you date assholes is right her in this thread: YOU KNOW HE IS AN A$$HOLE, HE SHOWED YOU HE IS AN A$$HOLE, YOU BRAG ABOUT NOT NEEDING AN A$$HOLE AND THEN YOU WRITE A THREAD ASKING HOW TO GET BACK WITH THAT SAME A$$HOLE?!!!!

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@Tracey

T-gal, Im nt an expect in dis r/s issue myself bt I wil tel u dt dnt evn bothr 2 stress urself ova da guy dt deleted u on FB bcz of jus cigars.

Bt 4 me, I like 2 hv closure coz it helps u 2 move on. Mayb u cud jus meet up wit him & found out why, dt shud give u closure & makn sure dt he dsnt cum bak lyin aftr a while & say he ddnt dump u. Coz if he tels u straight up in ur face dt means he wont hv an excuse lata on.

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you sound like a good reasonable girl, my advice is, go look for a good reasonable boyfriend.

you dnt have to waste your life for a good for nothing dude, someone who will dump u cos of

cigarattes. that means he cherishes his cigarettes more than u and he has no intention of quititing

remember, smokers are liable to die young, and if u keep up with him, be prepared to train the kids alone.

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well even the nicest guys , when they're with the wrong girl, can become mean assholes

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It was analogy explaining that there are guys who mean and do what they say, and then there are guys that talk the talk but can't walk the walk.

And since the former fits me to a "T", I figured why not use myself as a befitting example.

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Also, might I add that it would be very silly of me - and even hypocritical - to pretend like it would be easy for you to walk away from the situation and pretend it doesn't exist.  I can assure you that I've been in similar situations before and I have a rough idea of how difficult it can be to deal with disappointments.

The best gift you can give yourself is to reward yourself with someone who would treat you right and appreciate you for the beautiful woman that you are.

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there u're exhibiting the characteristics of the typical wrong guy smh i bet the cigar dude used the same lines on her. lol

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And of course I can go on and on and on typing bits and pieces of long-winded posts basically knocking on you, trying to persuade you to adopt a different trend of choices.   But I feel like all of that would be futile and unnecessary because you a grown Bottom woman who knows what to do.

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You're always falling for the wrong guys? And yet you say there's nothing wrong with your taste in men. Have you thought about revamping your choices. Maybe try moving in a direction different from the one you're accustomed to.

The game of love is definitely very dirty. If you are lucky enough to be blessed with a genuine dude like myself who would not only make a commitment to be true to you but also stay true to that commitment, then you are truly fortunate. Otherwise, you would end up going back to the drawing boards, getting kicked and bounced up and down and around by people who don't have your best interest at heart.

Sure you can't always control how you feel. It's easier and possible in the earlier stages to prevent yourself from developing feelings for the Naughty Person. And you know he is an Naughty Person. There has to have been something about him that attracted you to him in the first place.

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Ok now back to my dilemmas with guys, I guess I am always falling for the wrong guys now aren't I? and I don't know how a person deal with that, we don't choose whom we fall in love with, when our hearts making choices its just not in our hands, so I guess Im gona have to re-do this more often hey

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Of course she was in one. you would be surprised by how many dumb Bottom motherfuckers are out there that people are having to deal with on a daily basis. Yet it would be very difficult for them to snap out of it because of the silly feelings of attachment they have developed for these people.

Love's a dirty game.

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i don't think she was in a relationship. she only though she was in one.

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Tracey, I for one would question your taste in men. But I stop just short of doing that because I have come to realize that we all have different tastes. There was the awkardness f you having to find out that your prior boyfriend knocked up your homegirl, and you were still in the process nursing thoughts of welcoming him back into your life. Now with you having to deal with this I'm short of words. I just think that with the caliber of men you date you should have seen it from a mile away that problems like this would arise.

If you have gotten the cigarettes from him once before, why exactly did you refuse to get them now?

If the guy can ditch you like that over a puff of smoke, I doubt he really cares that much about you anyhow. But what do I know?

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I personally think some women fail to see how the responsibility for the failures in their relationships falls squarely on their shoulders too.

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@MRbrownJAY

Dude, ur one mouthful guy I have ever have to meet, but to sum it all up, I hear u and blv me I am not as stubborn as u think I am

Its just that I dont understand why is it a mission impossible for guys to love some1 without breaking their hearts, anyways its not like they gona

bring me the world coz everytime I put my heart out there for those a$$ holes all they do is to tear it apart so dont u think its kind of a

waste of time to be in any kinda r/s for happiness if ur not gona be happy anyway

There are more important things in life than relationship hey there dude

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loooooooooooool this woman sef.

40 calling herself an overegoed Dam. indeed

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I know I am an overegoed B1tch and sometimes my pride saves me from unnecessary discomforting situations

Can u imagine belittling myself over some wretched-miserable-a$$-hole who doesn't even know what he want

himself, please

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And that's what I have learned in the past 40 yrs of my life hey

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Let him go.

Don't waste your time, let him do his thing.

Don't let the cigarette butt burn you.

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Seriously now? Are you dating a man or a little boy. This boy had the guts to break up with you over mere cigarettes and you're asking if you should run after him begging to be with him.

I personally think you can do better than a dude like that but what do I know.

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It's over divided by over(over OVER over)

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I wouldn't call him , . . I loveeee my pride . . .

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Just walk away . . .NOW ! ! ! !

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MrBrownJay has said all I'd have said and more.

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dont worry Tracey, i will be gentle with you as i know that you dont take criticism very well

I won’t agree with you coz Ur wrong

ok lets not dwell on this matter, i guess people are different on that subject.

1.   Do u think he will call

nope, but if he does it wont be because he missed you and it will probably be because he needs something from you(cigarettes etc)

I’d reserve my comment

2.   Shud I beg him, shud I cry, shud I email him or text him

yes you should have sent him an email the day he removed you from his facebook to ask him why he did that. if his reason was "silly" then you would have known that something is fishy and therefore move on with your life as to wait for someone who is not serious with you.

U probably are right but I am the person who think first before acting, I don’t wana do something that will hurt my dignity, I was told I can do it with no man whatsoever at all, that means I don’t need a man to be happy or I can live perfectly without being in a r/s

then why asking the question at the first place if you know for certain that you will never lower yourself for anyone?! if you really believe in your above statement about not needing men to be happy then why bother even being with that man. i think you are contradicting yourself on a higher level because right now, you are definitely not happy thanks to him

3.   shud I call him and ask whats going

yes you should but you have to expect the worst.

Not a good idea what if he…. Never mind U will crucify me anyway

hey who cares if he doesnt want you anymore, you are talking like this man is the father of your children/the man you married.

if he says he doesnt want you then you move on with your life, basta! are you not the one who said you dont need man for happiness, so why make such a big deal about something as little as this?!

4.   or just sit here and figure that its over  between us

that is not the way to go about it because you will always wonder , what if. . . . . . .?

U are right but its me we are talking about and I don’t like to appear desperate, better keep it cool and under control

BEING cool and under control and PRETENDING to be cool and under control is two different things. you care TOO MUCH about what people would think and not about the important part here.just imagine if the person you are dating is as stubborn as you? if that person didnt want to look desperate too or didnt want to loose their "dignity". you would go nowhere. if that is what you want to do then do it and to hell with what people think. be in charge of your life and dont let stupidity like this ruin what may be something great.

5.   Do u really think I was just cigarettes to him

no you was probably not JUST cigarette but the cigarette might have been what made him decide to end it with you. you dont say much about how it really happen so we cant really say

Here is how it happened, it was his BDAY, slept over in his place, he is been using my charger for his phone and I was using my USB cable to charge mine and I took it, so there he goes was angry, in this same day I went thru his phone and found out that he saved my numbers as ABC and the other one as XYZ, I was gona take him out but after seeing that I withdrawn n I knew I hv to take my charger the idea was never to see him again, but u know how love is u can’t dismiss it over night, so the following day he was online, we chatted and I asked him to call me ABC n he said I must not take things seriously and I asked him if he was sure abt that he said YES and I changed my status on FB to single and he was offended, told him that I was only taking things and him for granted then we argue, but b4 w cud finish or go deep to fighting he told me how much he misses me and I said the same n I did really after telling myself we were done, so he asked me to buy Cigars for him and meet him in town, told him no can do, and he was persistence about it, he didn’t have phone, he didnt have a charger, I took mine, so my last msg to the chat we had was “Im not buying cigars for u” and I left it was late, so a coloured dude called me telling me he was waiting for me in the shop that he said he was gona meet me, and then I was already in the Taxi to where I stay, told him so and the next thing when I try to access his FB account the ff day, I got a msg like “Whoever only shares certain information with friends invite him” and I said OMG, I sit and think about it and I said let me pretend I didn’t see that, and until now haven’t heard from him,, So does this do the trick for u

well first you looked in his phone and we all know how some men can be quite sensitive about that issue, then you took the charger knowing that this guy was so broke he couldnt buy one, then if i understand you correctly, you didnt want to see him again and was leaving for good. yet you say afterwards that you love/care for him and cant spend a minute without thinking about him. what do you want?! you either want to be with him or you dont and if you do, then stop pretending to be what you are not.

6.   do u think removing me from his FB friends was just a way to say we were done

probably, depending on how childish that person is.

Reserve my comment

7.   Shud I degrade my dignity and go after him to get those answers

if the answers bother you THAT MUCH then yes but if you can move on with your life not knowing then keep on playing the stubborn one(he might be doing the same thing on the other side)

Lets leave that way hey

8.   Or Maybe let it be and forget about him

its all up to you, you are the one who will have to live with it

We will see about that

i mean you are confused, you want him, you dont want to show him, you dont want to be seen as WHAT YOU ARE. this way you will never succeed in relationship. dont be afraid to show who you truly are if you care that much about someone. being too proud will only get you lonely and by yourself. at least if that guy doesnt want to be with you then let him know exactly what he is going to miss.

9.   Is it possible that he may have a problem with his phone or something

where does problem with phones remove people from FB. you are just trying to make excuses for something that you already know the answer. if a person removes you from FB and suddenly doesnt ccontact you anymore then you know what the deal is, we know what the deal is so no need to pretend or make excuses for him. his email still works fine i guess.

U are right, U know we always hope for the better, that’s how were designed

10.   Shud I ask his friends so that they can tell him I was asking about him, then run a risk of putting my reputation at stake

you are talking about your reputation/dignity for such small thing like a person who is too proud for her own self. maybe that is what may have hurt you in that relationship.  on one hand you sound a bit desperate to get back with him, on the other you sound like you think you are better than that.

if you are desperate then do not talk about dignity/reputation and think about what you want.

Yah I am desperate but does he really have to know that now when he is behaving like this

well since you were planning on leaving and not seeing him again , i concur that you are just as bad as he is and that he is doing exactly what you did/do.

PS: saving you on his phone as ABC/XYZ means that he is hiding you from someone/something that has access to his phone. this is definitely NOT a nickname and more like a "code"

He doesn’t have a GF, I know and I am sure but maybe he has managed to track down one in the past 3 weeks

well the code was in place before you sneak into his phone so there is something fishy about someone putting you down on his phone as abc/xyz.

just because you dont see anyone around him, doesnt mean there is no one there. you can never be 100% sure that there is no one even if you were living with him.

And finally Sir U got it all figured out hey

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Poster,

Move On, It's Over!

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dont worry Tracey, i will be gentle with you as i know that you dont take criticism very well

I won’t agree with you coz Ur wrong

1.   Do u think he will call

nope, but if he does it wont be because he missed you and it will probably be because he needs something from you(cigarettes etc)

I’d reserve my comment

2.   Shud I beg him, shud I cry, shud I email him or text him

yes you should have sent him an email the day he removed you from his facebook to ask him why he did that. if his reason was "silly" then you would have known that something is fishy and therefore move on with your life as to wait for someone who is not serious with you.

U probably are right but I am the person who think first before acting, I don’t wana do something that will hurt my dignity, I was told I can do it with no man whatsoever at all, that means I don’t need a man to be happy or I can live perfectly without being in a r/s

3.   shud I call him and ask whats going

yes you should but you have to expect the worst.

Not a good idea what if he…. Never mind U will crucify me anyway

4.   or just sit here and figure that its over  between us

that is not the way to go about it because you will always wonder , what if. . . . . . .?

U are right but its me we are talking about and I don’t like to appear desperate, better keep it cool and under control

5.   Do u really think I was just cigarettes to him

no you was probably not JUST cigarette but the cigarette might have been what made him decide to end it with you. you dont say much about how it really happen so we cant really say

Here is how it happened, it was his BDAY, slept over in his place, he is been using my charger for his phone and I was using my USB cable to charge mine and I took it, so there he goes was angry, in this same day I went thru his phone and found out that he saved my numbers as ABC and the other one as XYZ, I was gona take him out but after seeing that I withdrawn n I knew I hv to take my charger the idea was never to see him again, but u know how love is u can’t dismiss it over night, so the following day he was online, we chatted and I asked him to call me ABC n he said I must not take things seriously and I asked him if he was sure abt that he said YES and I changed my status on FB to single and he was offended, told him that I was only taking things and him for granted then we argue, but b4 w cud finish or go deep to fighting he told me how much he misses me and I said the same n I did really after telling myself we were done, so he asked me to buy Cigars for him and meet him in town, told him no can do, and he was persistence about it, he didn’t have phone, he didnt have a charger, I took mine, so my last msg to the chat we had was “Im not buying cigars for u” and I left it was late, so a coloured dude called me telling me he was waiting for me in the shop that he said he was gona meet me, and then I was already in the Taxi to where I stay, told him so and the next thing when I try to access his FB account the ff day, I got a msg like “Whoever only shares certain information with friends invite him” and I said OMG, I sit and think about it and I said let me pretend I didn’t see that, and until now haven’t heard from him,, So does this do the trick for u

6.   do u think removing me from his FB friends was just a way to say we were done

probably, depending on how childish that person is.

Reserve my comment

7.   Shud I degrade my dignity and go after him to get those answers

if the answers bother you THAT MUCH then yes but if you can move on with your life not knowing then keep on playing the stubborn one(he might be doing the same thing on the other side)

Lets leave that way hey

8.   Or Maybe let it be and forget about him

its all up to you, you are the one who will have to live with it

We will see about that

9.   Is it possible that he may have a problem with his phone or something

where does problem with phones remove people from FB. you are just trying to make excuses for something that you already know the answer. if a person removes you from FB and suddenly doesnt ccontact you anymore then you know what the deal is, we know what the deal is so no need to pretend or make excuses for him. his email still works fine i guess.

U are right, U know we always hope for the better, that’s how were designed

10.   Shud I ask his friends so that they can tell him I was asking about him, then run a risk of putting my reputation at stake

you are talking about your reputation/dignity for such small thing like a person who is too proud for her own self. maybe that is what may have hurt you in that relationship.  on one hand you sound a bit desperate to get back with him, on the other you sound like you think you are better than that.

if you are desperate then do not talk about dignity/reputation and think about what you want.

Yah I am desperate but does he really have to know that now when he is behaving like this

PS: saving you on his phone as ABC/XYZ means that he is hiding you from someone/something that has access to his phone. this is definitely NOT a nickname and more like a "code"

He doesn’t have a GF, I know and I am sure but maybe he has managed to track down one in the past 3 weeks

And finally Sir U got it all figured out hey

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dont worry Tracey, i will be gentle with you as i know that you dont take criticism very well

1.   Do u think he will call

nope, but if he does it wont be because he missed you and it will probably be because he needs something from you(cigarettes etc)

2.   Shud I beg him, shud I cry, shud I email him or text him

yes you should have sent him an email the day he removed you from his facebook to ask him why he did that. if his reason was "silly" then you would have known that something is fishy and therefore move on with your life as to wait for someone who is not serious with you.

3.   shud I call him and ask whats going

yes you should but you have to expect the worst.

4.   or just sit here and figure that its over  between us

that is not the way to go about it because you will always wonder , what if. . . . . . .?

5.   Do u really think I was just cigarettes to him

no you was probably not JUST cigarette but the cigarette might have been what made him decide to end it with you. you dont say much about how it really happen so we cant really say

6.   do u think removing me from his FB friends was just a way to say we were done

probably, depending on how childish that person is.

7.   Shud I degrade my dignity and go after him to get those answers

if the answers bother you THAT MUCH then yes but if you can move on with your life not knowing then keep on playing the stubborn one(he might be doing the same thing on the other side)

8.   Or Maybe let it be and forget about him

its all up to you, you are the one who will have to live with it

9.   Is it possible that he may have a problem with his phone or something

where does problem with phones remove people from FB. you are just trying to make excuses for something that you already know the answer. if a person removes you from FB and suddenly doesnt ccontact you anymore then you know what the deal is, we know what the deal is so no need to pretend or make excuses for him. his email still works fine i guess.

10.   Shud I ask his friends so that they can tell him I was asking about him, then run a risk of putting my reputation at stake

you are talking about your reputation/dignity for such small thing like a person who is too proud for her own self. maybe that is what may have hurt you in that relationship. on one hand you sound a bit desperate to get back with him, on the other you sound like you think you are better than that.

if you are desperate then do not talk about dignity/reputation and think about what you want.

PS: saving you on his phone as ABC/XYZ means that he is hiding you from someone/something that has access to his phone. this is definitely NOT a nickname and more like a "code"

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He has been looking for a perfect fault to dump you,,,,Guess what! You had no fault he could hold onto,,,,,So he created the "BUYING OF CIGARATTE" Format and it worked for him.

Waste no time calling or begging him, just dust ya self up, He just paved way for someone far better than he is to nurture and love you for real.

I will assure you in no distant time, when he realised you had no fault on him,,,he will come begging,,,but then ofcourse it will be too late.

Thats my 2 Penny!

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Well I just thought that, thats what I am to him, ABC or XYZ, the only reason u can save a person like that is bcoz u dont care, I mean ABC, XYZ, common Dude, to all the things in the world

And as for the rest of the questions I think ur right, Im gona leave him alone, he is not worth it, I dont think he ever does, I just cant blv I can be this easily forgettable, this dismissed hey, I just thought I deserved to know, maybe reasons why he wud just disappear

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Dont answer this I get ur point, sorry, so u mean I dont have to do anything to find out if ur Yes is correct

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Yep, I knew he was smoking but never thought he'd ask me to buy him cigarettes, I dont smoke and I dont have problem with smokers but buying cigars for them its gotta be some kinda mission

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to me he's only using you

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If I may ask, were you aware of his smoking habit before you started dating? When you answer this, then I can make my suggestions.

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