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Does My Ex Want Me Back Or Am I Being Used?

How can i tell if my ex wants me back or is just using me until he finds someone else?  He broke up with me about 3 months ago citing that he didn't know if he loved me the same anymore or didn't know if he saw a future for us (we dated for 2 years, lived together.  he was 31 and i'm 23), but recently has started hanging around at my place again.  Could it be that he is just afraid to admit that maybe he was wrong?  He apologised for saying horrible things after we broke up and wanted to know if my mother hated him,    When he comes over its like nothing ever happend, he calles me baby and sweetheart and even offered to give me a back massage after a really long day at work (thats NEVER happened before!)

what are your thoughts?[/b][b][b][/b]

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39 answers

What's wrong with people here? Just writing the guy off like that?

He may have realised how much of an angel u were to him hence the change in attitude.

He might be back to make things up with you and love u more than before or he just came for sex like some have said.

Decoding his intentions is what you should work on. Don't just throw him off like that

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Firstly what do u want? Are you looking for marriage, commitment or you just want to have a boyfriend and a cuddle. If you want something serious then don't give in to him easily nosex nosex and pls nosex. Until ur sure he's serious by his words and actions.

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Take your time to study him so you don't just get re-used and dumped again.

Best of luck

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Nd what gives you the impression that it is

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Lols! Duuuuuuude! Chill 1st,don't get it twisted

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I wonder what he did to make you get that impression

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my 2 cents...run as fast as ur leg can carry u, from wat u said, theres no sign of genuine remorse from his side, dis dude actualy told u he loves u no more, now hes loving u again? girl, i ve been there, its just about the sex now.

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@ poster.. bbe.. to me ehn.. d quy just realyzd dat he lost the most wonderful thnq in his life.. mayb at first he wantd to play uu.. bt he realyzd dat u wayyyy worth more than that..#thouqhtz

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u are in the best place to explain y he left u at the first instance. again u luk at the gravity of his offence commited. my only addvice is u should give him a second chance, but do know that every man has what he hates, so be careful of those things u did that made him to run away. forgive all the pains and accept him bk.

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He could be playing games, when he dumped you did he apologise and explain his mistake, it's not good enough him wanting you back you also have to find out why he left you in the first place and see if you think the reason was respectful, because the reason why he dumped you could show a lot to his character. Watch him, he knows you still have feelings for him and can take him back just like that, please do not let yourself be manipulated. Find out what he did in the time you two were apart, no kids, no wives, no lovers?

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@ poster

ex ke, ex ni,dearie, just move on with your life and dont even begin to have feelings for the guy.

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@ Poster: USER ALARM RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!!!

How can a 31 year old man not know if he REALLY wants to be in a relationship, I imagine that his fling didn't work out so he's going back to his comfort zone.

Don't waste ur time with such a man.

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@poster

I think he wants you back because he wants you to sit on his nail with your big batty all over again!!

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i wonder what happened to the poster anyway?

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@poster

DIRECT THE SAME QUESTIONS STRAIGHT AT HIM.

LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE AND WANTING THE TRUTH.

NAIRALANDERS CANNOT ANSWER MORE THAN YOUR EX.

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If I was in your shoe, I would think twice not wanting to through another heartbreak.

Try to give him a chance finding out what are his intentions and future plans with me before giving all my heart with him!!!

Keep my legs shut!!! Be tough letting him work harder to gain my trust and feel to be loved again.

If he turns me trick, kick him out of my life, period!

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@ POSTER, fink about it gurl, would u wana go thru d heartbreak again like u did wen u guys first broke up, all i can say is, u knw dis guy more dan ne of us here, so ur decision shld b urs, but if i were u, i will fink it twice infact more dan twice.

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girlie there just mite be nuthing wrong with u taking him back

but this time let him know what u want

if he is so into wanting to sex you, then blieve me sweetie he just came back to hit some Bottom

guys do that cos they know that we just mite still be into them emotionally

so they get to take advantage of that

let him know how u feel, let him know u were hurt n let him work to get back ur trust and love

his acting lyk nuthing eva happened is a very smart move

if he doesnt agree to your terms n u r not sure of his intentions if u tink he is still crooked

then let him step!!

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I think you should give him a second chance- he most probably has realized he erred. The fact is we (men) often only realize what a jewel we had after we've lost it

Good luck girl

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be careful, I sense trouble.

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If I were u girl, i'd think twice before allowing him back into my life, but perharps he went and realized that he is making the biggest mistake of his life by letting u go. Ever heard the expression (u neva know wat u hve till u loose it) It is true! Well u can try him out and c if the 2nd time is a charm but dont give him all your heart cos of wat he did and said to u in the past.

Who knows wat his motives are, rather sit and talk about this with him aswell. Communication is power.

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Well, I was in the same fix 2 months ago. Just that am a guy and she's the girl and this is what I said:

"Is anything you want to tell me, something you feel I should know?

Something you ought to tell me which you may not want to say.

Just to know what's really happening with the new mood, the new attitude, the new attention.

You do realise we broke up; and breaking up means moving on. So what's this all about?

I remember when we used to text back in the day. It was the most fun thing I remember about you. I wonder what we'd text to each other these days.

And those nights we'd just lay together and sleep. When you were cold, I'd cuddle not to keep you warm, but just to keep myself a little cool too, you keep me cool, I keep you warm. You know that's the whole Yin & Yang thing.

That's when I started to believe.

But all that is gone and done with now. It's all dead and buried. So what is this brand new amity supposed to be?"

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He know what he said and that his the real feelings in him that he can't find the love he felt last two years anymore , such guy can  kick you out of matrimonial home after you settle down .My advice is that you pretend you are not in love anymore, avoid going to bed with him , talk more on how your future gonna be.Deny him of what he enjoy doing with you and see if he will stay , Be sure he's for real before you give a second chance.

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Iroyin o dabi afojuba!

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give the chance again but don't trust easily.

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Just be carefull i agree with KAJAD watch him closely ,

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Sweetheart run like a fugitive, I am sure is a reason, and a very valid one too, why he is your ex.

I had a conversation recently with a very dear friend of mine regarding this matter. And he pointed out something to me which had me thinking. Guys would "knock" on an ex first whenever they are looking for an easy lay. You see it beats having to go looking and many ex's are still emotionally hang up on their mates, that makes it rather easier to give in.

Please say what you mean, and mean what you say, let this guy be, You will only end up being hurt, again, in the long run,

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He knows you are still into him emotionally.  I man 31 years should know what he wants.  He wants to use for sex, until someone else come along.  Honey this is how it works.  When meets her, he is going dump you.

If you take him back, he will know that you are weak and treat you accordingly. Girl you got to love yourself more than any man.

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@topic

I am a little confused at the responses, some harsh, some weird and some funny. from my perspective i think sometimes we guys/girls take for granted what we have and want to be a little adventuorous only to realise that what we had in our previous partners was a blessing in disguise. i think u shud give him a chance he has realised you worth thats why he came calling, sometimes we could all fall for temptations to look else were.

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mandy the weary i wouldnt trust him.

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Girlfriend please get him out of your life fast!!!! He is just missing the good ol 'days of hot passion!

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;Dpoor boy,dnt u tink he had bin sufferin,i mean he realised he lost someone special n nw!!

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Maybe he's changed,maybe not.You've gotta really watch out.If its true action speaks louder than words,then u should watch out for the sincerity of his actions.Time would tell whether his intentions are genuine,so don't have your hopes high.Besides you shouldn't give the impression that you are like some fallow land that he can leave and come back to at will.

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yewo!, from experience err i think you should kick him to the kerb

my own two cents

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Be careful girl, I think he just wants to hit some Bottom.

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well maybe he realised that he made a mixtake when he broked it off, that why

hes back now, or maybe he back just to use you, and then break up your again

so just ask him why he is back Now, whats his intention, let him go expecially if he

doesnt want to be with you for the long run!!!! dont let him waste your time, the fact

that hes actually older than you, he might have came back for sex, who knows,

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Maybe you should ASK him what his intentions are? he may not tell the truth but you should be able to garner a lot from that conversation.

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Perhaps he has realised he had jewel in his hands. Give him another chance but watch him though

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Mandy,you are the one in it,guys are bad,you see there us nothing we enjoy more than free sex and when it comes with ease,sometimes we rush back to our old love when the chips are down as regards other girls,because things will be easy there,hold on tight and ask him what he wants from you before giving in to any of his advances

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