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Engaged?is It A Criteria?

women,wat if u find out the person u r inlove with is engaged to another girl,and from the way things are the both of u have feelings for eachother,as a woman would u leave him for d girl,not minding the fact that they are just engaged but not yet gone to the altar.

guys,would u leave d girl u r engaged to,for someone else,because u have compared them both and found out dat u love d other one dan the one u r engaged to,how will u break up wt ur fiancee,that is if u make up ur mind to leave her,if not how do u let the other one u just fell inlove wt go?

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What i know is for 2 pple to be engaged means they're in love.

But while some may work out, some don't.

Again if a girl thinks an engaged guy is not committed, it is true. But if he is capable of cheating d girl he engaged before he met u, then he is also capable of doing d same to u.

Don't 4get dat men reap what they sow.

As for me an engaged guy is a no go area for me. If he wants me he must break up with whoever he is engaged to for some other reasons not because of me.

I love a man who is consistent. A man dat say yes and it is yes.

But a man who cheatson his girlfriend is not consistent. He'll do same to u if u eventually force urself to win his heart.

A word,

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osisi, you know I dont refer to you as such and besides I knew about the situation between you and your former fiance. Didnt you tell your ex that things were OFF before you began a full relationship with your current husband? My comment is to those who think it's ok for the guy or woman to go behind their fiance/finacee's backs and get into affairs just cos the person claims the engagement isnt working yada yada. Those are SELFISH HOMEWRECKERS. Dont believe the person is your so called "rib" anymore then TELL THEM. Font go off hiding with some other person and then use the "we werent meant to be excuse" when you get caught.

I must say however that I actually agree with David on how the term "engagement" has been destroyed by people

Some people think just cos they've been dating a while after a few months, they can just jump and call it "engagement" cos they think if they still use bf/gf, people will "laugh" at them. Who gives a damn? Are those people the ones in the relationship? Insecure people sha. You meeting the guy or girl's parents coincidentally doesnt boody mean you're 'engaged" either. It's more than that. It's when you get to the point of the relationship and you sincerely believe that person was MADE for you, no more no less, the parents get into it SERIOUSLY this time, prayers are done, advice is given, yada yada, that is engagement, in the Nigerian sense anyway.

Anyway my problem is with the lies and people feeling like they have the right to ruin relationship, if he guy believes he's meant to be with you, he'll come baclk on his own, doesnt need your bloody help.

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hahaha

neither did I.

believe me once you see the right one,nothing will stop you.

especially if the other party feels exactly the way you do.

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@nwando

mine was very tough though,but God fought for me,he was actually engaged wen we met,he told me the truth,thats one thing i admire about my husband and im proud to say it,even though the truth is bitter he prefers saying it.anyway he was engaged and i also had someone but i wasnt really engaged,but the feelings i started having for him,just grew so much that i was begining to forget i had someone and he also had someone,his family even knew about the girl,so it was tough,but two of his sisters never liked d girl,according to them,they said she was also sleeping wt someone else,and wen i the brother introduced me to them as afriend,they fell inlove instantly wt me,wen d other girl heard about me ,it was fourth world war,she came directly to me in my family house to warn me,she even sent a guy to act as my lover before my husband(who wasnt then)u see all dis things dat happens in home video some of them happens,but to cut the long story short,im now a happily married woman wt 2 kids and hoping to have 2 more

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.

Exactly. All those other excuses that closet homewreckers make dont impress me.

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@nwando

na waoo,even to the extent of threatening with juju?like i said wen u meet d right person,not only will the love fight for u,BUT ALSO GOD. and i can imagine wt all d threatening wt juju she did not win d battle,infact if i were u wen i see her on d way ,i'll laf her crazy

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Maybe if I never had this experience I'll be dogging people who disengage after engaging.

Love can be very very crazy sometimes

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y would a guy propose to a girl,and still look out?and y would a girl fall for an engaged man,there are thousands of single men out there,she could get one

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@still water and sly

i dey enjoy dis una beefing oooooooo

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gbam! nothing i can add here.

You're still having doubts then keep her as a girlfriend . . . save her the added heartache of having to decide what to do with ur ring.

See, SU folks spoilt the true meaning of being engaged. They have used it as their own version of boyfriend and girlfriend that is why most of us dont understand what it means anymore.

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@still water

ah ah,still water u no dey fear place,na sly u dey tell sharrap,u don forget say sly fit send bomb from iraq wey go blow nigerian finish,i beg i no dey

@sly

i beg tamper justice wt mercy,i never wan die,forgive still water for he knows wat he said,no send bomb come naija i beg

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@nwando

make i ask,u no get problem wen u wan switch over ,i mean to mr nwando,i had a tough time in mine,cos we were both engaged wen we met,it was a very tough battle for me,i mean handling the other woman,she was a lion then,but one thing i know is wen u meet d right person,that person and the love he has for u ,will be ur battle axe,the guy and the love the he has for d girl will fight for d girl,and d girl will just hold her peace,that is wen u know u have met ur missing rib

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I agree with Osisi to the fullest. Every relationship has its up and downs. Disagreements can cause people to question the relationship. No one is always 100% that the relationship will work. Its hard work a constant battle,

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Most individuals would do just that ie get engaged believing this is the right one

but then things can happen down the line and they say "i don't " before saying their "I do"

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@nwando

yes ooo,i believe so,engagement no be for only mouth,the guy gotta make it a little official wt a ring

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@sly

so iraq people sabi talk Amen,na wao,i think say war don collect una christian brain finish

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so if there's no ring,it's not yet an engagement

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let me see if i can ansa dat nwando,i believe engagement comes wt a ring,u know wen the man proposes to a woman and says WILL U MARRY ME,and gives her a ring,and then wedding and traditional marriages preparations kicks off

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In my opinion do not engage me if you are still having doubt, period

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let me ask,what is considered engagement.

at what point is a couple considered engaged in your opinion ?

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@sly

i feel u sly,true true mr nwando lucky no be small,no worry sly u own go come

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I wish he could read this ROFL

thanks for the compliments

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@4him

i quite agree wt u,marriage is really sweet wen u r wt d right person

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I don't mean the 4 years literally

haba david!!!!

I too believe in short engagements

That's the only way to avoid "chopping"

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marriage is like graduation from college

and engagement is like the 4 years it took to get there.

You must finish the requirements to be given the diploma

an intent to marry is not the same thing as marriage

You can be in college 10 years,publish papers sef but without that diploma you can't site that college as your school of graduation

same with marriage

you can be engaged 4 years but until you have that contract,you are not married.

That's why just living with a woman is not considered marriage

@nwando

u r very right,keep it up,men mr nwando is d luckiest man on earth to have u,u r one intelligent woman

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do you guys know some men may not even tell the woman that they're  engaged until things have gone far

in that case,we have a man who have fallen out of love with the other woman.

call it unfair,but he intended to marry her and now he intends no longer

This is very very common.

And I thank God I met my hubby because I was already looking to flee the other relationship.

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Nwando, na there me and you go differ.

Engagement should not be the 4yrs it takes to graduate from college.

Christians have bastardised engagement . . . because we dont want to sound like the world, because we dont want to call it dating and the other partner a girlfriend, we pretend that we are "engaged".

This is where it starts for me . . .

- a relationship - can last till marriage or until either one or both of the parties realise that they are not meant for each other. At this stage there is no firm commitment. You are basically just testing the waters.

- Engagement - At this stage i have finally decided to commit to you and you to me. There is no going back from here. I dont believe in all these engagement lasting as long as methuselah's age. Highest 6 months u shld be married.

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marriage is like graduation from college

and engagement is like the 4 years it took to get there.

You must finish the requirements to be given the diploma

an intent to marry is not the same thing as marriage

You can be in college 10 years,publish papers sef but without that diploma you can't site that college as your school of graduation

same with marriage

you can be engaged 4 years but until you have that contract,you are not married.

That's why just living with a woman is not considered marriage

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anyway d matter no concern me,na my elder sis d thing concern,anyway God go help am

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@babes in nairaland

i dey enjoy dis topic,my advise be say ,if una find una sef for dis situation,i meanif una see person wey una like engaged or not,go for it girl,engagement ring no give anybabe right over a guy

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@nwando

no wonder u stood on ur ground in this argument,same thing happened to me my dear,engaged to someone else and ,married another,and everybody is living fine

@joycee87

tell ur sis if she truly loves dis guy,and d guy feels same,there is no harm in trial,he might be her rightful husband,and i must confess,the guy is truthful enough to have told her d truth that he is engaged,i think he is inlove wt her too,LET THE WILL OF GOD BE DONE

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david it's not that simple.

haven't we all felt at some point we were in love and it turned out not so

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this is the part that gets me . . . how do u fall out of love with someone you wilfully engaged?

I suppose u both had spent a good deal of time in a relationship before making the decision to get married to each other . . .

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Thanks dear.

I think what people have a problem with is the thought of an engaged man cheating with another woman not really the thought of a broken engagement per se.

I believe in honesty.

If a man feels he no longer feels for his fiancee (and same for a woman who falls out of love),he ought to let her know immediately not string her along.

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@sly

na wa for u sly,so u go dey play away match even wen u give ring,this ur motto fit u sha,true true u no send ooooo

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this matter serious ooo,so e still dey run,i beg make una leave chinda3,i think i kinda get wat shes saying everybody has their own views about this thing

@chinda

welcome to nairaland i see u r new here,and very active at dat,keep it up

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@stillwater

im not d poster just joined yesterday and the topic caught my eyes,maybe its because i know too many pple it has happened to

@morenike

i assume the OP means poster right?nope im not ,morenike can one actually log in with two different nickname?

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Of course we know they are free . . . but if you think u'd rather marry another man then step up to me and let me know asap. Dont go around my back cheating and then using the "afterall we arent married" excuse.

I see engagement as the first step to marital commitment, if u cant be faithful to that woman who u're not even married to neither can she trust you to be faithful 10yrs after marriage.

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sorry guys. , i kinda side with the poster/ Chinda. . . but there's a limit. . .if i know i really love this guy, i'll try to get him. . .but if he shows no signs of interest and he really loves his fiancee, i'll step aside

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Yes they are free to change their mind but don't go about dating some other girl behind my back. Tell me now!!!!!!!!!

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as long as the man is not married,he is free to change his mind and so is she.

Of course I wouldn't encourage some one to go looking for an engaged man to date

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@ chinda

It worked for you friend doesn't mean it will work for others

@morenike

He or she sounds like the poster

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Chinda3 . . . stop decieving urself. What if you were engaged to your fiance? You'd be comfortable that he's spending time with another woman?

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@nwando

i love ur replies

@poster

every woman is free to tap d guy while he is engaged,he hasnt walked down the aisle for pity's sake,he does not belong to any woman till he has walked up d aisle wt her,my best friend got married same way,she fell inlove wt d guy and played maturedly,cos d other girl was always coming at her(i mean fighting her)and telling her to leave her husband,i encouraged dis friend of mine to leave d guy for d girl,she refused and said nobody has d guy until he is married,and as i type now,she won d battle and now lives in south africa wt her husband cos they got married,that he is engaged doesnt mean he is not available,every man or woman is available for any partner as long as there is no confirmation at d altar(wedding)

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na wa o. . .some people sha

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But do u mean to advocate that another woman is free to "tap" up the brother while he is engaged to someone else?

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As a woman, I will not date any man that is engaged, period.

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NO David but as long as they haven't walked down the isle,they are free to go their seperate ways.

There is no contract yet

You can't drag someone to the Isle can you?

If any union was bound to end,I pray it ends a day before the wedding.

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Men divorce their wives and marry other women for "irreconciliable differences" . . . does that mean the marriage establishment is fair game?

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ROFL.

I know a girl whose fiance left and married another woman after the initial stages of the  traditional wedding.

He just fell out of love and found the love of his life,he said.

Such is life

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