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Fiancee Abroad: Do I Wait For Him?

i am very much in love with my afincee and he loves me too. But d problem is that he will be travelling abroad very soon and i dont know if he will come back to me.he keeps promising me he will come back but i dont want to wait 4 him and at d end, be left brokenhearted as has been the case with many of my friends. what do i do?

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48 answers

Babes, if u truly love him, wait for him

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You really need to get ur act right cause the moment he lands in whatever land he has gone to study the immediate he will nurture a crush with a hot sexy lady, so no matter how much promise he assures you with on phone it is all but a face cover to his guilts.

Shape up ma dear, go do your thing "time is of the essence" like the professional world always say.

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I'm afraid I totally disagree with you. And I'm a proof that a guy can still be loyal to his woman. I left the shores of Nigeria 3 years ago for my post-grad studies, leaving behind my beautiful fiancee. You can only imagine the pain we both went through that very night I took off from Lagos, and I can still remember her cries tthat night (luckily, she wasn't there at MMA to see me off cos I doubt I could've handled it).

I spent two good years in the UK, but through out my stay I NEVER cheated on my fiancee in anyway. Don't get me wrong, there were times I felt strong sexual urges, afterall I'm human. And it was so easy to get laid. But the very thought of cheating on the very girl that loved me so much and stood by me through good and bad times NEVER crossed my mind.

Anyway, the one thing that made those 2 years a bit easy for both of us was COMMUNICATION. Boy did i spend a lot of money on airtime.

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Baby, what is yours is yours, come rain come sun. If it is God's wish, your fiance must come back and finish your marriage, nothing shall stop it.

Wait for him and be prayerful if you love him.

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@topic

whether long distance relationships works depends on the two people involved in the relationship. I believe that for most it dose not but for the lucky few it dose work. I have a cousin who has been in a long distance relationship for a good five years and her boyfriend just came back two weeks ago for their wedding.

And me myself have been involved in one for just over two years now. My babe in Nigeria told me recently that she's getting tired. So am planning to go to Nigeria this September to make arrangements for our wedding.

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Manmust wac,

That's your opinion.

Am sure Nigeria still got some reliable men left in her, well, ok, maybe barely.

But that does not mean I have to roast a guy in America for 3 years when am not even guaranteed he'll come back for me.

1 year sef is just too much!

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@onyinye2

@ruby_pearl

well i believe if both of you had guys who traveled abroad and both of you were roasting in nigeria

i know you would be prepared to wait 2 3 or even more years coz that will be your ticket out of nigeria

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My definition of an incredible man is

One who is able to love all of me. From me being quick at the mouth to my romantic side

One who is able to get to know the real me. That alter ego that stays at bay.

One who understands im his equal not inferior to him, but still holds it down

One who makes is out of his way to make me happy. no matter what mood im in.

One who understands when i need to talk i'll come to you not the other way around.

there is more but i aint gonna say it or write it.

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Oka that is truly questionable. Any ways if the guy lives in a different city then one of us is going to have to sacrifice our comfort zone and move to the other one's city. i highly doubt it would be me.

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well you just do you. me on the other hand will give a man the maximum of a year to get what ever he needs to get together.

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Whoa three years is alot.

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So if u had a guy who loved u and promised he'll bring u over to the states in 3 years time if u just waited for him in nija.

Your telling me you wouldn't wait for him?

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So beating women is ok, but engaging in verbal warfare with them is a taboo?

dude, let's end this convo here.

Me thinks you're confused!

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that would be a very good idea

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verbal warfare

u can never win, and women can run their mouths till eternity, and it can be very annoying

@ onyinye

another member of the big brother nairaland house is here!

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But sure, a truce then.

BtW, which is worse? Beating a woman or engaging in verbal warfare with her?

Take your pick.

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if i was, then why this constant attack?

lets call a truce, i dnt normally engage in verbal warfare with women, it goes against my principle

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Of course you're entitled to your own opinion.

Who said you're not?

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e be like sey some people dey sleep, eat, bath, poo, even live for nairaland

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8 out of 10 times those relationships dont end up working.If you love something let it go and if it comes back its meant to be yours aint that what they say?

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@gab

not cheeky honey. just plain facts!

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my answer?

wait for him

when you're Hot?

call me up!!!

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@poster; Does really take d grace of God. . . i guess with time u wld find out what u need 2 do. . . "good luck though"!

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My sister there are two sides to a coin. You can bank on him if he is very serious with you. But you know as well that girls abroad are very appealing and they could make you forget about your hommies. Does he still call you?

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Poster, in any relationships, there are always a 50/50 chances on getting your heart break. Its like a lottery. You never know when you will loose your money or when you will hit the jack pot. So since you have decided to be in a relationship, these are the risk which you should be willing to take.

Secondly, in a relationship, you must always see yourself first before other people and ask yourself these questions:-

1) Do I really love him like as in I value him to be with me?

2) Do I trust him?

3) Am I willing to share all of his burdens till death do us part?

If its yes to the three of them, than you should wait for him (if you have doubts because of the long distance, I know that you actually dont really love him, do you know that?) - I know this myself because I have had long distance relationships as well before. If no to either one of them especially the trust factor, then break it off and move on with life. Theres no point to engage yourself in a relationship if you dont trust your man.

lastly, I would advise you to pleaseeeeeee for the love of God, never ever make decisions because of what you see in your other friends. Not everybody will have the same fate you and I know that very well.

Ok girl, Good luck to you in making the right decision and all the best.Learn from every mistakes and you shall be fine.

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2006 thread and you guys are here giving advice. She don born pikin since then sef. Y'all need to move on lol

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@topic

is he going there to study or generally as an economic migrant?either way both of you should set a realistic time for yu to either go meet him abroad or when he will be planning to come back home,maybe leaving a window of a couple of months either way,its not that hard for a guy who is really serious to commit himself in that manner,if he doesnt do so or if he gets there and doesnt adhere to the set time,then its ultimatum time and move on if he fails

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yeah u got to be smart n observant here,

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Where is he going and for how long?

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@poster

wait and CONTINUE WAITING TILL THY KINGDOM COMETH!!!

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wait for him if you realy love him

but never be too sure of cause you might be the one to leave the relationship before he does

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sweetheart put ur trus in God , if the man is yours Gpd will help put things in place for him fast so he can come for ur hand properly in marriage. but if he is going there to huzzle not as a geniune immigrant, he may do odd things like marrying a foreigner to find his feet and in the process may get stuck. but as ur scared he might cheat, don't cheat also urself untill yuo are supposed to, when is obvious is not working out again. best of luck[

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@Curly

Another Naija girl mentality. Do you even love this guy? or you in it for the benefit. If you love him i'm sure you will give him a chance and see what happens, If he messes up then do what you have to do but make up your Dang mind if you want him or you want another rich guy for Naija.

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@ Topic

gurl, don't waste ur time waiting for some boi. Move on with ur life and meet other people. If u're meant to be, y'a both will connect back together one way or the other.

distance does kills relationships, don't be deceived with all the i'll wait for u talk. It don't work!

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distance in any relationship is always a thorn.having said that,follow your heart sis,

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it all depends on the communication and trust between u both,and if u know ad feel he truly loves u,all u have to do is go to God in prayers and ask for his grace and to give ur man the grace to stand by u through thick and thin,and his grace is ever surfficient.be strong and positive.

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please, give me a break n move on. there is no way he is gonna be faithful, u only see it in nigerian movies, trust me when he leaves the country his eyes go open to the temptation around, n having a long distance relationship doesn't work, i didn't really up with my boyfriend before i left naija, i thought the long distance thing was gonna work, but trust me i've been here for 5 years n all these while he has written less than 10 times and we were in a 2 year relationship, so when i went back for holidays he tried to get back with me but i didn't feel anything for him. all i am trying to say is that you should move on, bcoz he is gonna do the same.

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Get Plan B ready

God gives us brains so that we can use it

Make him ur No 1

but have ur fall back position

If he messes up anytime during the relationship,

u have a disaster recovery plan

Out of sight is ALWAYS out of mind

Learn from my experience

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he might already be going out with someone on NL!!

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i will be back for more but just have hope will ya? dont quit now.

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I think if you know within yourself that you really love him and he also does the same. You should also put all your hope in God's hands, because it's not an easy thing to stay far away from someone you truly love with every fiber of your being.

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see where there is life there is hope, if you have made up your mind to stay with him ,, God will make a way.

i have being away from my girlfriend for over a year now and we are still dating ,,,, the factors that determine them are ,

Trust: which i believe yours is already shaky.

Communication. depends on country.

Decision. and so many others.

you might ask i do i acheive all this.

i trusted her from the begining,

i call her every SINGLE day {$2 card to talk everyday} although some times we dont have anything to say but i just love hearing her voice and she also calls me but not as long as i would and sometimes we talk for over 4 hours and it is not enough and sometimes we talk and just sleep off, ,,,,,lol

Decision; i decided to marry her when i was at home and she agreed so we prayed and still have faith,,,,,,,,

just keep yourself focused. God is Good

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If he is really the one u are met to spend ur life with no matter where he lives in this world

there will always be a way .

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wait for him and monitor him. If there is any change at any point, you will see the signal, Be prayerful to

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