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Going Back To Nigeria To Find A Mate, Is It A Good Idea?

I created this topic because I have been thinking about marriage lately. I am a female and I am only in my very early twenties. I want to marry a Nigerian man, but as i look around my environment, I notice that potential life partners are non-existant in my environment. I can't even picture myself marrying the nigerian males that live around here. The males here are just not marriage materials. The thought of going to Nigeria to find a mate have crossed my mind, but i dread it since I am a very Americanized Nigerian and I don't know if I can deal with FOP(FRESH OFF THE PLANE) nigerians

What are your thoughts on the matter? If you are a male or female living in the western world, would you ever think of going back to find a potential life partner ?

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31 answers

My sister is a Nigerian America and  is currently engaged to someone in Nigeria. So it is possilbe. Expand your options. Ignore the poster above. Man this Man that. They did talk 6 months before meeting. He is close to my family back home. I would not say its bad or good idea.

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I think a man has a better chance of finding a partner in Nigeria and being able to keep the marriage when you are back in your foreign home base. A woman will find that more difficult, perhaps impossible.

Look, there are some people here who may wish to know you, are in America, maybe even right in your backyard; so I suggest you leave a contact email for conversation on your profile or something.

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My advice to the poster is since you are not the man that God said will find a wife.It may be a big mistake going to Nigeria to find husband.I will assure you, any Boy you finally find will only be after you taking him to America. So since you are very good in finding ,try to find a husband in America.

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Good material for likely scenario. I am off to create it.

Your likely scenario is ready Oba234 read it here http://sammilla.com/2010/05/30/is-it-good-to-go-back-to-nigeria-to-look-for-mate/

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Seconded!

@Poster

when you are ready to get married, find someone that is culturally compatible with you. Maybe you can find an American of Naija descent right here in America. If I were in your shoes, I will not look for someone back home. They have a different mindset when it comes to marraige, your role as a wife and how they generally view women. Be careful!

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No, bad idea. You don't go looking for love, you let love find you!

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One thing about life is all about compartibility.u know ur choice in marriage,if u feel that those over their are not good enough for u,keep searching but there is nothing good as marrying from where u belong(ie your fatherland)

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I have noticed that many young nigerian men over here are faking or as they called it in Nigeria "forming". personally, I don't have time for back and forth games. I think it is childish.

Have ever bothered asking those young men their thought on most Naija girls? They would say they are forming as well. Put your eyes on the ground. A Naija guy who is over there with all his '' forming" is a positive indicator of Naija found husband. Have you tried Naija born Americans?

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Your post is quite odd especially the part in bold. In which country do you reside? I'll assume USA

Anyway, I can assure there are many marriage-type Nigerian men in the US

So, it's better to connect with the ones there since you're already Americanized (you have a different culture and mindset already) and also because Long distance relationships suck (believe it or not)

There are good Nigerians everywhere. At least I know some here in Boston

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@ poster

It's a good thing u thinking abt dat already u aignt 2 young luv.However,if u going back to Gidi solely because of that it might not be the best move.

If u r going on holiday or ve got family commitment it is understandable,u could seize that opportunity 2 sniff around.

It works out better if u ve got relatives down there, u meet people thru dem ,go out and probably organise a get together or somesort.If u play by the book,U stand a good chance of meeting God fearing fresh Lag bois(gt good jobs in Gidi n dey dont mess abt wit there holiday) they will match ur so called American stease A 2 Z.gba!

Sometimes in life u just ve to go for broke for broke luv.I ve got peepz who had to move from other parts of UK to London purely to get dat special person,since there are loads of nja gurls in London.

I know there are loads of nja dudes in Texas and Chicago u may as well consider dat,so long as it doesnt alter ur other plans.

Really,finding ur soul mate happens when u least expect it,only few people discern that,so put urslf in check.I hope u ve got wifey potential thou.All d best babe.

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@poster it's your wish,and it's all good.

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@Oba234

Men front, fake the funk and form everywhere even in Naija! Please tell me you have more reasons than that cos i'd hate to see you get disappointed. I am sure there one or two more things that may irk you about some of us over here. Like i said if you want to come have an open mind don't make it a tipa tipa thing and don't settle for less just cos u wanna justify your preference to hook up with fellas like us

@FL Gators

Stop being a rooster blocker joh. The lady says she can't stand dudes there and i can swear she's not alone

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You cant deal with frsh off the plane Nigerians and you want to go to Nigeria to pick someone who has probably not been to the airport before?

I dont get you

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nothing wrong with it why not do what some naija guys do by dating online first or something that is if going back home would be hard because i wonder how you will meet the potential guy. Are you planning on eventually relocating?

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Driving at at something abi?

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bhahaha@ur comment. name the Nlanderz o.

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I have noticed that many young nigerian men over here are faking or as they called it in Nigeria "forming". personally, I don't have time for back and forth games. I think it is childish.

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dont want these prying eyes to hear what i wanna tell you

1st let me get you a bottle of nuvo is it ok with u~

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@Poster,I was going 2advice you 2b kiaful of certain Nlanderz who'l cash in on ths and make you go gaga either way,I then noticed that d 'baddest' of the worst has already postd here.Plz be kiaful ok?

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Yeah, absolutely nothing wrong with it. Good men can be found anywhere.

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@FL Gators

If she no come see nko

@Oba234

There is nothing really wrong with it but i'd advise you don't harbour unrealistic expectations. The fact that you are not in a rush solves half the problem! Clearly you have your reasons why you are not settling for fellas over there i hope they are good ones sha

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It depends on your person and how you plan to live.If you are the type that is not submissive to a Niger man in Niger,or you are richer than the guy and you flunt it,the marriage will crash.

Even in Nigeria ,the churches and mosques are filled up with singles attending different programs set for them.

Lastly when you get married and relocate together,its possible the guy will go the same way of the guys you see in your environment.But if you live in Nigeria,it will work out fine.

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The bolded part is a generalization that is biased.We guys here can't say we are perfect but u never can tell there are still some good ones around.Moreover u can stay from a distance and judge someone whether they are marriage materials or not.It's your duty to make it work together not to be expecting manna in form of a man to fall from heaven.The mistake Yankee based gurls and guys do is to go home and get married to a partner they barely know.The partner would be happy that he/she is coming to America but when they get here u will see their true colours.

Don't expect to marry a saint as husband but try to work out things with what u have cos nobody is perfect.Everybody has his/her own shortcoming.

Just look before u leap here and make the best decision for yourself and don't expect to see a man u will be controlling around cos this is 22nd century.

Just my 2cents.

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Man, don't worry yourself about whether it's a good or bad idea. Just do what you want to do.

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No. Find one where you at.

Too much problem with oversea relationship.

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trust me o,  I am not planning on getting married anytime soon. I am not necessarily looking for a mate now. I have just observed that many of the men in my environment are not really marriage materials, so when I am ready, I am basically screwed. The question was actually to see what people thought of going back to Nigeria to find a mate.

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Not a bad idea, but be careful when u arrive home-naija

cos the devils (nigerians leaving in america) u know may be better than most

angels(nigerian leaving in naija) u dont know.

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What are your criteria both physical and emotional? You could expatiate some more! I also think since you are in your early twenties be you male or female you are still kinda too young to be getting married take things slow cos guys would always take advantage if you appear desperate. Naija men are not perfect but we are the closest to it

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