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Have I Done The Right Thing?

She's my first date. I've known her for close to six years now, and we have dated for almost 4years (my third year in school). She's now serving. The fact is that i do not really feel that deep, emotional affection for her in my heart. but i really do respect this girl and we've been good friends since. some of her brothers and the sister know about us (she offered to give me the brother's phone no and i said OK, that was how i got to know the brother). on the other hand, she always ask of my mum everytime we speak on phone, and so i decided to give her my mum's no. she has called her once or twice. she's not spent even a weekend in my house ever, but we do spend time together although we decided to stop havin sex for about 5months now. i would've let her know this since, but from the way i treat her (no regular phone calls for fun or to show care and love, but only when it's necessary etc.)she thought of it and she asked me what the problem was. i think we're not compatible and from my observations i don't think we'll make a happy couple.

After several weeks of pretence, I had to let her know exactly what my feelings are before it becomes too late so she could move on with her life. Else i may be raising her hopes (if i've not done so already).  The fact is: i've kfully searched my heart and i don't love her. I only like her as a friend. Why i kept the rel for so long was because i thought it'll grow with time and i could 'develop' my likeliness for her. What do you think? Am i being rude or heartless? Have i done the right thing?

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21 answers

Well, something like that happened to me too, I never realized I was in love untill she finally left. What is your defintion of love by the way? You are probably better off marrying someone who loves more than you do.

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guy you didn't do bad,since the girl did not complain maybe she is the one using as her s.e,x toy.

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In fact some of you r my friends on this NL- like thoniaslim, henry and ebonyeyes. i had to use my cousin's username who's a newcomer to post cos i never wanted you to find out it's me. you wanna know my real username? nah. i won't tell you.

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@Nikkykay: i've considered your point to be very vital. all i wanted to confirm was what you said that "IT'S EVEN BETTER IF YOU DATE YOUR FRIEND COS, " thanks a great deal.

@all the other ladies that 'CRUCIFIED' me: here's the good news- i and my girl are still rocking. In fact, from what i gathered i now have the believe that we can even marry. she's kind, Godfearing and homely. i only wanted to get your responses. what i noticed was that at a point you were biased in your judgement just because it's a girl that's involved here. all the same, thanks. i've learnt a lot from y'all.

one love!!

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Youa re a  heartless human being!!!!You know u cant have peace of mind thats why u came here to seek consolations from pple thinking some pple will support ur action.Ur conscience is really disturbing and will continue to haunt you and that makes u guilty of ur action.

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OK ebony and nikky: let me say this 4the first time- i'm a christian and God knows i considered marriage as an option in the rel before i even spoke wif her for the first time. Picture this: a lady wants to get a form for an official matter from you. but she comes to your house to get it and she even walks freely into your room, sits down in a relax atmosphere and never was in a hurry to go home-

1st time. what can you make out of that? pls don't make me insult this lady cos i don't intend to. all d same, u are all my sis. so i really appreciate ur inputs.

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You are a selfish moofooker, why did you taste the goodies if you knew marriage wasnt an option? Just pray to God you dont have a daughter because useless coons are going to mess her up as well.

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Pls read my post kfully. it doesn't imply dat we dated for 4years and even if we did we started makin love since then.mayb that's what you're lookin at. secondly, i've not told you we broke up. we're still good friends  maybe you call it dating, but we no longer do anything immoral and all i did was to make her understand we may not become soulmates.  just go thro my post again.

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thanks nikky

the guy is mean

4years relationship haba

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My dear,u did the wrong thing.Those telling you that it is better the way u said it now are not giving u the right advice.My point is u shldnt have waited this  long be4 u told her u were not compatible.

PERIOD!!!

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having a boyfriend, its a probability that he might one day be a husband

since u had already known that that wasnt gonna work, why venturing into it with her?

thats my question

next time,do not date a gurl u know u cant marry pls, ok what if it happens that the other gurl got pregnant along the way(even with or without protection), am sure u gonna tell her to abort the damn thing, am I wrong??

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foyeks: hope we're not making an issue out of this. but i can say it even at her presence that i never for once discuss anything relating to marriage wif this lady. but lets just say we both understand that it can't just work. i don't know if you understand the term 'marriage'. it's 4a lifetime dear!

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Foyeks: you don high? do you reason at all or have i said she was a virgin when we met? you don't need to curse me. God knows i never meant harm.

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after u ve finished sucking her, smooching her,banging her now she doesnt fit to be ur wife.

be prepared another man will surely do that to ur daughter n ur grandchildren, wat goes around comes around

what do u think u are justifying here chiooor

hisses n walks out

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Tonye: Okay sir. but you know i'm human. i'd be deceivin y'all if i say we never had it. i've taken the corrections anyway.

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That won't be necessary I get it. . .

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ha.ph is kool no wahala.

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Chibenwa thanks. how's PH today?

Thoniaslim: i don't think so. in fact i initiated it cos i wasn't feeling the love flowing anymore. give 'us' a lil chance dear, boys aren't wicked. at times the women cause it. if there's any way i could talk to you privately, i'd forward the sms she sent me afteryards. so i'm justified cos i haven't hurt her. again for the respect i have for her, i won't share it here.

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u never did bad at all.

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henry that's not true. she can confirm that. do you mean it took me 4years to 'taste wetin i wan taste' not at all bro. if that was my motive, i could've let her go within 6months (i told you i still respect this girl, so i don't want to go into this cos of the same reason)  i've  omitted a whole lot of things in this story. thanks, though

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u were never in love with her and you are being heartless!you deceived her,u don taste wetin u wan taste,

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