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How Are Interracial Relationships Viewed In Nigeria?

How Are Interracial Relationships Accepted/Viewed In Nigeria?

Hello everyone. This is my first post and I'm really excited.

I am a Nigerian who lives in South Africa but moving back to Lagos to start up a business online.

I am coming with my expatriate(white) boyfriend and our daughter.

Is it safe to be back in Lagos and what can I expect?

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Saying that will only lead to more "indignation". My "children" aren't so reasonable. I'll have to lock the thread.

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iskew, thank you for coming to my rescue. i asked an innocent questions and i have been bashed like i have commmited a crime. the question about the priviledges was a bloody joke. pls guys calm down and try not to burst a vein. i have lived here for 5 years.

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seun, thank you for coming to my rescue. i was about to be eaten alive. guys, please don't get me wrong. im not saying my child is special but lets be honest, people are fascinated when there is  a child between an interracial couple. my best friend is from ghana and her daughter has long straight hair to the middle of her back like a teenage white girl and black south africans still ask her daughter where and who her mother is. they think my friend is the maid who takes care of her for a lighter skinned woman.

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[color=#000099][/color][i][/i]Woa! I think the lady was just asking about the general climate in Lagos in interracial relationships. By the time I got to the end of the post, it felt like y'all were bashing her because everyone wanted to apply their own semantics to her innocent and excited question. Why is this? I have always found Nigerians to be very warm and accomodating people, but someones the courtesy and respect that Nigerians are so well known for is rather set aside here. Give the lady a break and welcome her to Nigeria for pete sakes!

~Iskwew

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expatriate:

An expatriate (in abbreviated form expat) is someone temporarily or permanently in a country and culture other than that of their upbringing and/or legal residence. The word comes for the Latin ex (out of) and patria (country), and is sometimes misspelt as ex-patriot, due to its pronunciation.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expatriates

dont let urself think its some other issues

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Hello.  I enjoyed the topic, for I am an African American woman married to a Nigerian man.  He and my stepson will join me in the states soon.  One thing I noticed that most of the responses, concerning "mixed couples" only dealt with the "black and white" issue.  There are many more mixed couples than an African woman and a White man.  Believe it or not, I, being an African American woman, have caught much negativity simply because my husband is a Nigerian.  In America, I have been questioned, doubted, and even rejected due to whom I love.  Yes, our skin color is the same (I am a bit lighter than him but brown-skinned none the less), but because I am African American and he is a Nigerian, we still face many of the things that an African woman with a White man will face.  Except in our case, many believe that he is the one benefiting from my American status, for I am his "ticket" to America.  Never mind we just love one another, want to be together, and want to share our lives together.  Many African Americans feel he is blessed to have me (the American), but I am equally blessed to have his love and devotion.  I was questioned, many times before coming to Lagos, Nigeria to marry him, "why marry an African man . . .!"  It is so odd.  In Nigeria, I am very respected and looked up to for marrying a Nigerian man; however, in America, I am looked down on (by some and more than enough) for marrying a Nigerian man.   While I was in Nigeria (during my wedding and honeymoon), Nigerians felt that since I am African American, the family's status was lifted to a higher level.  It did not matter that my skin color, as was said, is brown-skinned, just because I am African American, and my husband is Nigerian, it was like "he had arrived".

So, you see there are many "mixed couples", and various reasons why people like, or do not like, the fact that they are together.  In America, mixed couples and mixed children are very common.  One of my brothers is married to an Italian girl, and my other brother is married to a Jamacian girl.  My two nephews have babies by white girls.  So you see, in America, it is so common.  My family heritage is mixed with Black Foot Indian, Irish, and African.  In Nigeria, seeing  mixed couples, might take some getting use to it, but in America it is really no "big deal".

But whether someone excepts or ejects you, you have to live your own life.

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that is not true! how would you say 'Nigerians would think you got picked up in a night club' if you were dating a white guy? Unless of course that is the case here. But if it isnt, then, I see no reason for your concern. The only thing is boyfriend?!!?!!!?!!! Sweetie, you can do better than dat, what about 'Marriage'? I do believe in that than you living together but its not my problem now is it? Im seeing a white guy, would love to come to Nigeria anytime soon and interracial rship is the least of peoples worries in Nigeria as far as I know plus if your parents say its ok, then you've got nothing to worry about.

We all know that the decision as to who we are with is solely ours n not the worlds, is it? I wish you all the best

hmm! im quite reconsidering this you know, to b honest what difference does it make if you are with a white person, your child is a molato or, ? I see no point in this thread, its just a way of rubbing it in peoples faces, n lets b honest, no one is difft white, blue, black grey we are all thesame, its like this is a joke or more like you bragging about it

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that is not true! how would you say 'Nigerians would think you got picked up in a night club' if you were dating a white guy? Unless of course that is the case here. But if it isnt, then, I see no reason for your concern. The only thing is boyfriend?!!?!!!?!!! Sweetie, you can do better than dat, what about 'Marriage'? I do believe in that than you living together but its not my problem now is it? Im seeing a white guy, would love to come to Nigeria anytime soon and interracial rship is the least of peoples worries in Nigeria as far as I know plus if your parents say its ok, then you've got nothing to worry about.

We all know that the decision as to who we are with is solely ours n not the worlds, is it? I wish you all the best

hmm! im quite reconsidering this you know, to b honest what difft does it make if you are with a white person, your child is a molato or, ? I see no point in this thread, its just a way of rubbing it in peoples faces, n lets b honest, no one is difft white, blue, black grey we are all thesame

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@pazuzu, you were doing okay until you started asking about privileges.

Thanks to a well-established kleptocracy, poverty remains a big problem in Nigeria. The distribution of wealth and influence is so unevenly skewed that wealthy people are sometimes treated as demigods. Most whites in Nigeria, are there to collude with the kleptocracy to further widen the gap between the rich and the poor for business, hence the pervasive perception that they are wealthy. This perception leads to something some refer to as "privilege" while others refer to as "sycophancy". Actually, the latter is more accurate.

When the white person interacts with the Nigerian in the public when not shielded by their Nigerian collaborators in project "Wreck the Niggahood called Nigeria", especially when bargaining the price for goods (Nigerian art forms like sculptures, items of clothing, food items, etc.) or services (a hair cut, taxi fare, CSWs, etc.), he/she risks being swindled. This is not just a color issue but based on the perception that the "foreigner" is wealthy but gullible.

This perception has contributed (and still contributes) to the success of many "419 men" or "yahoo boys" in extorting huge sums of money from the white man. In my experience, this view (not fraud but the view that wealth and gullibility come in the same package, especially among white foreigners) is almost unique to Nigerians.

So, as is said in Ajegunle, shine your eyes well!

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@ davidylan.

Live in Lagos ?? Hmm, not so sure about that one - maybe yesterday's Lagos but not today's.

Why not Abuja or do you want your oyinbo wife to suffer ??

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No problem, she has a half caste kid and she's asking for priviledges. Lets wait and see what real whites going to Nigeria will ask for. Maybe they will be entitled to living in the government house.

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I wonder how long she has stayed in South Africa.In the old SA,there was a hierarchical order within which privileges were distributed  to the various colors.Blacks at the bottom,"half-castes" in the middle and Whites at the top.

The legacy of those privileges still exists  in today's SA and having become used to them in SA,she probably wonders whether she may obtain same in Naija.

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Naa, read through her first post.

Why is she "excited" to be coming to Nigeria with her white boyfriend? Why asking what people think of inter-racial couples? we've seen them a 100 times before. My parents didnt blow a horn and announce to their neighbours that i had a white girlfriend.

Would she be equally "excited" and comfortable if she were with a Nigerian boyfriend who has had a child with her but has refused to marry her ever since?

The statements we make sometimes are a snapshot into the kind of thoughts that run through our minds. It's clear she sees herself as "priviledged" to be blessed with a white boyfriend. Whether he marries her or not i'm sure she's thanking God everyday for giving her a daughter that is close to white (her passport into the white world) hence the reason for asking if she gets any special priviledges.

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Lmao david

You cant really blame her though for thinking like that considering the rubbish that loon BigSis wrote to her.

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Quote from: pazuzu on Yesterday at 08:02:29 PM

It's apparent you view yourself as being priviledged to be pregnant for a white man even though you both are not even married. Get over it, there are tons of half-caste kids we grew up with in our various towns who went to the same public and private schools we went.

Are there special priviledges for half caste kids in South Africa? Then what priviledges would you expect real white kids to have? Exclusive schooling at Aso Rock?

Get off your imaginary high horse and send your child to Obalende Grammer school!

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Lmao cotton picker ko, agbepo ni.

care to show me where you got the IDEA that it means "cotton picker"

By all means I would like sources, links, articles, whatever you can throw.

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That's true. Most decent schools arent impressed by such irrelevant issues.

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Dont forget to buy a big generator when you land plus a big dish for your connection.

your kid will only get special treatment if you send her to a rubbish school

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We have different values but the way we address them is not really helping anyone, it sort of lowers our 'value' we hold in high regard.

i posted this earlier.oga admin this isnt against the rule is it?

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You people should stop using that term "akata".Its derogatory and a mockery of black people in general

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Thank you!

Is "akata" a term for a male or a female? Is it a negative term or is it fairly neutral?

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@topic:

It seems that this thread has been a busy one! I hope you're getting the info you seek, pazuzu. I know I'm learning a lot!

@ThiefOfHearts:

What I mean is that your signature (with regard to nappy heads and red necks) is true on many levels. Is that what you were asking me? (By the way--what does "akata" mean?)

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I can understand your disgust for BigSis who rightly promotes the African American cause, but can't just live with the fact that Africans, irrespective of the colour semblance with AA, have different set of values.

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this is why i love nigerians. the sense of humor. okay, people should just stay away from the poor childs hair before they put juju on it. make me happy. any good schools in lagos for her to attend? any creche or pre school? i dont know what its called in nigeria.

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privileges ko, special treatment ni.

You didnt give birth to the Messiah.

If anything people will just wanna play with her hair.

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it would certainly be fun to be back in lagos. the men would think that my partner must have picked me up from the nite club or picked me up from italy. we are actually moving to lagos for about 4 0r 5 years. we are starting an online business but im not goin to give you guys the scoop yet but once we are up and running, i will inform all. what are the priviledges my kid gets an a HALF CASTE? which good school can she attend?

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It's quite irritating when you have jobless akatas running their mouths about a country they know nothing about.

Wealthy people get love and respect in Nigeria, not based on race.

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Sadly what Black Mama said about the color caste. TThe color caste goes like this, which is enforced and supported by Naija: whites are the top dog. Near whites. Asians and other lighter skinned people, the African is at the bottom of the color caste. Naijas are fascinated with lighter skinned people. So you will probably, through your husband, benefit from white privelege.

A half caste in the states is called a half breed, a mut, a mongrel, which means someone who isn't a pure bred. The political correct term to someone's face is biracial/mixed. To use any of these terms is considred an insult. It is funny the terms we come up with for things that have existed for ages. Black Americans have been mixed for almost 400 years, yet we are well aware that we are the descendents of Africans. You can be high, high yellow to blue black in black American society.

Do you know that during slavery many of our people were whiter than the whites? The condition of the mother is the condition of the child.

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The average Nigerian reduces everything in life to wealth. Traditionally we hate on tribal lines rather than race. We don't necessary love a white folk but will let it slide because of his perceived wealth. If you get to Naija with enough cash to smooth your way around, you'll feel a lot of love around you. Though most will be out to get what they can out of the friendship. Actually your kid will enjoy a privileged status just for been mixed. But the bottom line is that you must have enough cash to look wealthy. The average Naija don't care about the colour of your skin one way or the other.

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my family has absolutely no problem with me being with a caucasian. its funny that they are called expatriates in nigeria. half caste kids are called coloreds here in south africa. my family lives in london. im not worried about being in lagos. we simply have to live in either ikoyi or victoria island where we would blend in just fine.

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Doubt they really have a problem with it. I knew alot of "half caste" kids when I was in secondary school. The question you will probably get or your kid will be asked is stuff like "why arent you married/why arent your parents married"

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safe? i dont know about that depends on where you end up in lagos

what kind of bixnix /job you intend to get into when you get back home

if your hubby and child will be able to adapt to life in lagos Nigeria

also interracial marriages abound in Nigeria its no biggie

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thank you for the response. i have lived here in south africa for five years and dont forget that this the country that gave racism a name called apartheid. it has not been a problem for me at all. i actually find it amusing. i am 33 years old and from the yoruba tribe and have no problem being with my boyfriend. i am not bragging but he is very attractive and we go everywhere holding hands. we are hated by both the black south african women and the white women hate him too cos they think he has sold out to his pepole. when i was pregnant with our daughter, nothing changed. we went out everywhere holding hands and almost everyone stared at me, my boyfriend and my pregnant belly. it was so funny. now that i have had my baby, they still stare even more. now the whites come to me to say how cute my baby is. the blacks are simply envious and still stuck in the ages.

in nigeria of course, it is assumed that when you are with a white guy, he picked you up from the nite club. what a silly mentality. it all boils down to ignorance!!!

pls keeps comments coming in.

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I'm glad you asked this question, pazuzu. I live in the US and I, too, would like to know how the people of Nigeria feel about this.

How have things been for you and him in South Africa in this regard?

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