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How Come Women Are So Difficult?

How come when you're dating, everything's fun, you flow beautifully with your babe, conversation's no problem, the two of you can sit for hours just chatting and laughing. You think" life cannot be better than this. At last, I found my soul mate"

But immediately the two of you are married, everything changes. Gone is the fun, the laughter, the attraction. Conversation becomes a contest where every statement you make can and will be used against you. For example:

You say: Honey, I will be going to the club tonight with my gees. Its our Boys night out.

She hears: Honey, I am fed up staying in the house with you. I'm going to the club where I will drink tons of beer, tell my friends all about you, and likely chat up a babe or two.

She knows you always go to the Club at least once a month to hang out with your guys, and she never had any problem with that when you were dating.

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36 answers

Is "lady friend" the same as WIFE? Abeg, go and sit down

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Mr. Coolruler

Will i be correct in saying you are a Woman too.

Cos all you have been doing here is Bitching.

GET A LIFE.

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@KarmaMod

Maybe you need to widen your horizons more before you can issue blanket condemnations like that.

I have a lady friend who works in an Insurance company here in Lagos. She got employed back in 2006, and was given a target of N20million naira.

One weekend, she was invited to a bithday bash at a club in Ikoyi. While there, she got an opportunity to market to a fellow woman.

Suprisingly, the woman called her within the following week and purchased a life insurance policy worth N50million naira.

In any case, if you take your time to investigate, I'm sure you will discover that many of the Banks' marketers (both guys and ladies) go to clubs regularly. You think they go there just to drink beer and fornicate?

@sistawoman

"Nuff" Respects to you! Wish all our ladies have your maturity.

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maybe here, not Nigeria. It's all excuse

If the wife was the one getting networking tips at clubs, these same men would be yarning dust. Abegi.

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Actully I have to agree.

Back home in DC most of the networking events for adults are held after work hours at clubs or bars. Not to say that all networking is going on, there is some flirting. But having attended a few of these I can say that those there for the networking are there to network and those for fun are having fun.

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So the only way this imaginary friend could have gotten a "promotion" was by patrolling nightclubs?

Sounds like a pathetic company. Never knew "networkers" now shy away from daylight

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@karmamod

I have a friend (married) who kept his job with a bank through networking with people in night clubs. He met and exceeded his targets and he got the promotions (twice) he deserved and in two years he left the banking job for a better offer. His wifey is now smiling.

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Only yahooze makes "business networks" in the dark. plenty of hanging out in the DAYTIME can be done where so called "contracts" can be made

so use that lame excuse for some other slowpoke.

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@Nella

Then why don't her family ever obtain pemission?

I come home from work, and I meet her siblings, sitting in my favourite chair, eating my Apples and drinking my Heineken!

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Marriage is a different kettle of fish oga. Once you're married it comes with enormous responsibilities. No more freedom, you are now accountable to a soulmate. Deal with it. to be frank . . . even though i might complain openly, i love the fact that there's someone out there worrying over me. I'd love someday to worry over someone too.

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Just like women like to hear it when a guy finds them attractive, so do men.

We know that our spouse, HAVE to say we are beautiful and desired, but to hear it come from another man or for the men from a babe is a boost to the self-esteem and if he is a good man it stays right there.

I have no problem with other women looking and desiring what I have, as long as he conducts himself in a manner that is not disrespectful to me I could care less that he steps out to a club 3 or 4 times a year with his homies.

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@Nella

What's so horrible about looking at babes?

Yes, one of the reasons we go clubbing is to relax and ogle all those women and fine babes shaking their asses all over, maybe flirt a little and recharge our hormones.

It may also suprise you to know that serious deals get made in clubs, business networking is more easily achieved, and beneficial friendships are sometimes made.

So you see, its not all about "meeting babes".

In any way, if I return from the club with a 50million naira contract, won't the same wife call me the best husband in the whole world?

Abeg, spare me the hysterics!!

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Two things i can't give up

1) Beer-be it any brand but i'm cool with stout and heineken (moderate drinking and i can take it at home while watching soccer.

2) Sports- soccer is my favorite, africaMagic is 24/7 and soccer is just 6-7 hours on Sat afternoon plus 2-4 hours on Sunday afternoon, except for Champs league matches on Wed and i will be too tired to watch.

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i can't believe this

We give up being wined and dined by various men (hmm, serious issue here)

We give up the freedom to look sexy just for d heck of it because d husband may feel threatened (after how many pickins will a man feel threatened?)

If half of niger women can be a lil bit understanding as sistawoman then 60% of marriages will work, trust me. There is always this rapid change when women are married and the pickins are coming. She is relax, she can do and undo. There are so many places and ways to cheat and the club is just one, what about men that don't go clubbing but still cheat w/o their wives knowing.

The problem with women is they can't and won't want to accept the fact that their spouse priorities comes first, if there is something wrong with what he wants then talk to him and find a better way to deal with the situation than to do the opposite. Women do think (that is after marriage) that they are doing men favor by giving up all those things they use do in their past

Marriages can't be perfect but a good understanding can make it work.

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Wahala dey for this men give up this, women give up that. The women here won't want to admit the truth but they defend themselves. Marriage requires alot of endurance so what you don't want tell your hubby and don't hide away from the fact. Most women do pretend from courtship so you can marry them thinking you've met madam right. The only thing i can't handle is women pretence. I believe there are two mature adults in a marriage so you talk about what you both want and both parties should strictly adhere to the rules. If the guy is okay with your terms and conditions he will marry you and if he's not then he step away.

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lol . . .Thanks for sparing my life . . .

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@Coolruler

Quotes:

"How many things will a man give up for the sake of "taking on the responsibilities of a man" as you put it?"

He gave up his lady friends (not lovers) -- "And so did she, with her male friends"

He gave up his male friends( she scared them off) ----

"Oh please! yea right, there is no way a lady can scare off your male friends. Highest thing is that u won't have as much time to hang out with them. Which is justifiable because, unlike most of them, u are now a married man! And the same thing applys for the ladies as well!"

He gave up his sports(no watching supersport when she's on AfricanMagic) -----

"why do u have to make everything sound like such a big deal? It's vice-versa for her too,  no watching AfricaMagic when he is glued on his sport chanel"

His Mum needs permission to visit ----

"EVERYONE needs permission to visit your marriage home! -- It's called respect"

Now he cannot step out of his own house for one night? ------

"who says he can't step out of his house for one night? Like u said\and like the guy would say, :" he is goin to have a night out with the boys" -- now, if u know that a "night out with the "boys" is what u want, why head to a club? -- is a club used for playing poker? Is a club used for talking\watching sports? no, the main aim\use of a club is : TO MEET BABES and TO LOOK AT WOMEN! -- dispute me -- u are a guy, when u prepare to go clubbing wht is goin through your head? is it to go and dance with a guy? sit and stare at some guys? NO, u go there because it is a fun place to be in because THERE ARE WOMEN AND FINE BABES ALL OVER! Full stop!"

Now, no one is sayin he shouldn't have a "boys night out" Besides, let's face it. Calling it a boys night out is just a way of disguising wht it really is, You are not going to a "boys night out" u are going CLUBBING! Call it wht it is.  . . . boys night out my a$$, will u stay five minute in that "boys night out" if there weren't botty women walking around and shaking there asses all over?? --  Why not just go to a gay bar, if u really want to have a "boys" night out?

sometimes u men think u are talking to small children, *hiss* . . . at least a little respect for ur marriage home?

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No shooting neccessary. . . . . . .just having alot of fun.

All the things that married people give up for each other are things that we gratefully give up because we cant imange our lives w/o the love of our lives there with us.

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thanks girl

@ coolruler

~ we give up the freedom to look sexy just for d heck of it becos d husband may feel threatened

~ we give up randomly flirting with random men just for fun

~ we give up glorious lie-ins because theres a husband to take care of

~ we shorten time spent primping and pampering becos ther r more important things to do ie hubby's dinner

~ we opt for a simpler hairstyle becos we cant make it to the salon as often as we like

~ we hav to buy more sensible shoes because gon r d days when we can just splurge on every and any fabulous pair we find. .  after all we hav leess nights out

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My opinion please . . .don't shoot me

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Well, if the situation really was as simple as the OP states, then there is nothing wrong with his suggestion to go out, and maybe the wife is being over sensitive and may have changed over the course of the marriage. However, usually there is always an underlining issue (using pre-marriage) that is causing tension. Maybe you two had an argument the night before about something else, and maybe she felt instead of you making time to bond with her so that you two can forget your differences you are opting to party with your friends.

During the first few years of marriage, I believe it is SO crucial to put your spouse above almost everything, reassuring them with every move, obviously this is easier said than done, and eveyrbody believes you can still do the same things you did before the marriage in exactly the same way, duration and times.

I still believe that you should be able to have fun with your friends occassionally, but marriage is not just a simple step up from a relationship, it is a huge jump and you have to be ready for everything it throws at you.

If you start sensing that your spouse is resenting the time you're spending with your friends (and pre-marriage she never showed signs of jealousy), you should in an instant cancel plans with your friends, because I don't believe they are worth your marriage, and they should understand, after everything's sorted, you can have all the fun you want with your friends and because the home is happy, I'm sure she won't mind you going out.

I must point out, the problem is not just that the woman changed, but it could be that the man did not change.

Lastly, both the male and female roles in the above dilema could be easily swapped, sometimes it is the husband who wants the wife to stop going out with her friends so much.

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now this brought me back

did i insult u?all i said  was  i have a very responsible family,its left for u to also state that u have a responsible family too,u call my posts insane and you're here telling me to post wtout insults now tell me who is d sane person here?

if u enjoy a night out wt your friends go ahead haba and leave me alone abeg

i said im too busy for that thrash its as simple as that,i have a wonderful family and like i said we all catch fun sm other ways outside d night out and  so on

get used to mi posts,or ignore me,simple

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Why cant you just simply state your views on a matter w/o insulting someone. I simply shared my views on the subject and because they are different then yours I get hurled insults. That my dear is completely insane. You should have better command of the english language and be able to state your views w/o insults.

People disagree all the time but if done in a respectful manner you can get your point across and give someone something to think about. but if you do it with insults the person is less likely to hear you.

Just some food for thought. Do with what you would like.

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good for u,too much long story

i have a very responsible family which im very proud of,we catch our fun sm other ways,that im very grateful to God for

have fun wt ya gals in da club,like i said im too busy to get involved wt such things

and as for your hubby ,its what u get for dragging your familys name into nairaland

buhbyeeee

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You are entitled to your opinion. And at no time in my post did i insult you. I simply said I disagreed and stated why i disagreed.

My husband and our arguement has nothing to do with clubbing. Therefore I dont understand your reference to it here.

My girlfriends and I go for spa days, weekend retreats and every once in a while, like maybe 3 times a year to the club. I never said what kind of club. We go to jazz clubs, dinner clubs, dance clubs and we have a few drinks, on our husbands and let our hair down.

We all have very good jobs and when we do this it is because my kids are away for the weekend visiting friends or doing other things. My girlfriends are all my sr. by at least 13 years. You see i hang with, talk with and get advice from women much older than me. These outings are times for us to take off the wife, mother hats and just relax. We are not out looking for other men as we are all happy in our marriages.

Because I am married it does not mean I am dead.

My hubby and I also attend the club together as a date night thing that we do in addtion to other fun activites.

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im entitled to my opinion aint i?

no wonder your hubby left home for days d last time

thank God my hubby is not d type that hangs out in d club at night ,that is what i call being responsible

what on earth im i looking for in d club all in d name of girls night out?can't we all meet smplace during d day time,please im too responsible for that poo,to leave my kids and tell them im going out to meeet sm friends at night,no hells way

anyways its only jobless people that will do such a poo,im too busy for such an irresponsible life

i did it when i was single and don't wish to continue now that im very much settled

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I disagree.

There are times that i just want a girls night out and I can understand him wanting a guys night out.

A club is not the only place a man can meet a girl to cheat with. If he is going to cheat he is going to cheat and I am not going to worry my beautiful little body thinking about it. What is done in the dark comes to light and if you are willing to throw away what we have for some azz in the street then so be it.

Trust is one of the foundation blocks of a marriage if i cant trust you then i should not marry you.

I think that couples should/must retain their own identity when they marry.

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that is a foolish example

a man is supposed to forsake alot of things once he is married

what is a married man doing in d club drinking and dining wt frinds when his wife,and prolly kids r at home

u men should just say you're looking for licence to cheat abeg

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We give up half of the bed.

We give up sleeping thru the whole night, yall will roll over and "poke" us

We give up being wined and dined by various men

We give up freedom to come and go w/o having to "check-in" with someone else

We give up only having to cook for ourselves and having to cook for you

We give up more time cuz it now takes longer to wash the dishes or do the laundry or shop at the store, we are no carring extra weight.

We give up control of at least one remote in the house.

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Please dont blame all women because you married the wrong one.

If my hubby wants a night out. . . . . go have fun

If I want a night out. . . . . go have fun

If you want to watch sports. . . . Lets watch it together

If I want to watch something else. . . . . .there are 5 other TVs in the house, pick one or i pick one

If you want to drink beer. . . . we both drink Heineken's bring enough for both of us

If you want a glass of wine. . . . . . be sure to leave some for me later

Not all women are the same. You just married the wrong uptight female.

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@Nella

How many things will a man give up for the sake of "taking on the responsibilities of a man" as you put it?

He gave up his lady friends (not lovers)

He gave up his male friends( she scared them off)

He gave up his sports(no watching supersport when she's on AfricanMagic)

His Mum needs permission to visit

She even made him give up Beer!

Now he cannot step out of his own house for one night?

"SHIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR"

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THE MISTAKE: the guy should have said, honey i think we should just remain that happily unmarried couple.

trust me it always works.

THE SOLUTION: live with it.

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wht a foolish example.

Like u said : " She knows you always go to the Club at least once a month to hang out with your guys, and she never had any problem with that when you were dating."

There, "when u were dating" ,  But now u are married and no more a boy but a man, So 4 Christ sake put your whole boyish behaviors to the side and take on the responsibilities of being a man! u are no more 24.

Besides, using your example, how about this : "look, your wife also used to club and go partying with friends every Thursday night when u were dating, how about she continues that now in your marriage hu? After all u never had any problem with it when u were dating.

If u are married, then be married. If u want to go out and club and chat up babes with the boys, then y in the world get married??

And tell me the guy doesn't do any of those listed there!??

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you serious or wat, try a sex change and you will know wetin dey!!

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