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How Do I Carry On? I Can't Cope Anymore!

I got dis gal i once truly luvd. We met Dec '06 & as tym went by,we luvd each other mor & mor until she was offerd admissn in2 1of naija's higher insts. Few mnths in2 sch, she automaticaly change her manners 2wards me. It wasn't 3mnths in2 school, we broke up bt reconciled a couple of mnths later.

B4 our first brake up, she used 2b a virgin, which i felt was part of my luv 2preserve it - & i neva touchd her!

2mnths in2 our reconciliatn, i found out she was no longer a virgin (i asked her & she told me), out of luv, i swallowd it & carried on wit her, only 2realyz she's even gettin worse - keepin different sex partnas. When i found out i couldn't take it anymore, i took a step 4ward, which she neva cared; bt d truth here is dat, i find it very hard 2luv som1 else & presently, she's d only 1dat occupies my moments of solitude.

She stil goes around 'fuc.King' & it hurts me when i hear such. And she doesn't even care about me anymore.

Pls, i need ur earnest advice on hw best 2put ha behind me. 4Maturd N/Landers!

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46 answers

@iice, what do u mean by double personality? Eh!

@hollandis, dat's a funny one, y'know!

She don show me her own cat eye, now na my turn to show am my own, And na LION EYE me go show am!

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@iice, what do u mean by double personality? Eh!

@hollandis, dat's a funny one, y'know!

She don show me her own cat eye, now na my turn to show am my own, And na LION EYE me go show am!

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d easiest way i tthink u can get over her, is 2 get urslf a female close frd, u guys wud talk and with time definately get close,who knws u myt fall in love or she myt and if ure lucky she does den gud 4 u cos at leas ure 99.9% sure, since she fell4 u 1st.

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@Niuboy, how de story take bend?

@iice, wetin make am get k-leg, nao?

Anyway, i ain't beggin u to bliv it.

@OP, i'm no longer sufferin any pain. Rather, i dey seriously work on how to make her wish she was dead. De don come back, after i plead wit am, thinkin say me stil dey in love like b4.

Revenge is like de sweetest joy next to gettin pus.sy.

God sef no go blame me!

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@poster

sorry man. you refused to disvirgin her cos u loved her but did she reciprocate? HELL NO instead she gave it to someone else.

lesson no. 1: women do not like gentlemen instead, every woman feels an uncontrollable attraction for the man that can bring out the beast (i mean sexual beast) in her. you do not need to be a gentleman to achieve this. i'm saying it from experience.

JUST LET HER GO. she does not feel attraction for you anymore simply cos u aint man enough for her. she's found other people who can do the job better.

hope u've learnt some lessons.

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Holly, for some reason I think your story get comma, Even if true, I don't know why people go into relationship searching for love, The point of relating with another person is to socialize and get to know the other person, Love develops when things mystically gels and not so often does. So please save me the LAMEness of saying "I don't think I can love again". Just go ot there, socialize and be open minded.

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Accordin 2 TuPac, Revenge Is Like De Sweetest Thing Next To Gettin Pus.sy!

Guess what i did?

I reconciled wit her, and eva since (close to two weeks now), i've been fuc.king her head off witout me lovin her.

I'm workin towards gettin a more reliable chic.

I'll make her pay wif her own heart too! Dat's a promise i made within me.

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@Poster,

At times We Err in Loving.

We err because we close our eyes to vital signs and handwritings on the wall which if properly adhered to might have saved us the agony of a heartbreak.

Take Heart and Channel your Energy towards other ventures.

Time Will Heal your Wounds

And Most Importantly,

Don't be afraid to Love Again because It's in Loving that we find Fulfillment

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@poster,it obvious she does nt love u. . . y wastin ur tym?wen derez alot u can do wit ur love life . . . . .i know it diffcult . . . put urself 2geda nd move on . . . . am sure dere are lot of shawty on ur waitinnn list wake up . . . . . . dude. . . . !

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@C2H50H, nothin do you!

Thanx, anyways!

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Lol this post always cracks me the fork up each time I read it.

Dear Holly,

Just forget about that girl. Do not take her back when she comes crawling back to you with her silly apologies. Life is too short for you to gamble with your heart. Erase her from your life, your sim card, your hard drive, everything. Erase every single hint of memory you have of her. Please don't mistakenly believe her when she says she loves you. It's total bull! Move on.

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I would advice you let her off your mind completely.

Don't try to rush into any relationship now or else you transfer aggression.

Try to get a new hobby or pastime.

Bury yourself in your work or something you love that will take her off your mind.

See life in a new way.

yours

obafemi

obafemionline.com

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@topup, yeah u right!

A lot of pple came up wit all kinds of contributions. Some are misleadin, while others were constructive (most especially urs).

You too much, gal!

Thanx!

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@Johnnyboy, must u read or send a thread. Abeg, leave pple wey wan help me nao!

@whizzy, me dey kampe! Ehen, no mind dat useless thread wey 1of my homeboys post. O.k?

@topup, thanx dear! You came wit something i neva thot of. U must be a wonder to pple around u!

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pls read my post oh mr holly

end this thread cos i think you should know what to do now

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Right now, it seems she doesn't care about you, not enough to want to be faithful to you, and she doesn't share the same passion for you as you do for her. It's just not balanced.

If you two were together, you'd probably always be compensating for her distance or lack of commitment in the relationship.

You need to learn to start wanting the best for yourself. I am not talking looks or sex appeal, but in general quality of a person, in terms of their manners, the way they compose themselves, their values and beliefs.

For now, I don't think you should pursue her, and the desire you're feeling is only natural - we all want what we can't have, and even more than that, we all want to re-create something we had in the past that may never happen again.

I bet you can only remember the good memories, and not the anger and pain.

Try and balance it out, know that you wouldn't treat her the same.

Seriously, do you want to be with someone who's eyes stray away from yours all too easily?? Can't you see the warning signs??

You deserve better - it's time to put your effort into healing your heart and find things to occupy your time. If she cares even just a little bit, she'll come back, if she cares a lot, she'll be faithful, if she loves you she'll be devoted to you in as many ways as she possibly can.

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Czarskit! Whatz ur concern?

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Nothin do u bro!

But it ain't dat easy, you know! I don dey cope shaa.

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@190, hope it's not similar to mine. Cos, man, dat thin fit kill person.

Anyway, besta luck!

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@amram, ur words are heavy like gbim-gbim!

Dat's great.

Thanx alot.

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The good guys have told you the fact. It is part of life, we meet to part and part to meet. The scripture said that two cannot walk together except they agree, there is no doubt that the two of you are not made one for the other. Thank your God that you are able to see her in her true colour early enough. Carry on and remain focused. Imagine you get to discover this after you had become committed to her more than this. keep her off you mind and keep on thanking God

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Thanx, y'all!

Lack words to express my appreciation.

Beginnin to bounce back.

N/Landers are wonderful.

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Thanx, y'all!

Lack words to express my appreciation.

Beginnin to bounce back.

N/Landers are wonderful.

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How Do I Carry On? I Can't Cope Anymore!

sorry pele

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We appear to be in the same shoes except 4 i dated dis girl 4 3years though it was distant we saw like two times each year but i think its the most serious relationship i'll eva have we really luved n neva cheated on each oda (atleast am sure oof my side)  until 5weeks ago some annoyed me i stayed angry for days n while we were talking on fone i said things about our relationship (mainly religious issue) told her we needed to end it thats not the first tym we've both come up with such skepticisms but to my suprise this time we were both in agreement we needed to stop and since then evry thing changed ryth we no longer talk coz weneva i call she's always like "thanks for calling'" and it always hurt me deep coz its something i've been doing every day for the past three years. she switched off her fone some weeks back for like two to three day and i found out it was coz of me then i stopped calling shé does not call too. All i do is think of her but i know she does not want me anylonger and there's notin i can do about it even though i know i can neva stop lovin her but life has to go on. The bottom line is no matter how attached you are to people you just have to stay away wen they no longer want you doing odawise will cos you much more pain. I'll advise you just keep to yourself for now she does not want you let her go, move on concentrate on something else and dont rush into any other relationship DATS WAT I"VE BEEN DOING even though its hard you just need to know dat its important u move on u'll get over it sooner than you expect.

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Hollysmile,u do not do ur work as a man cos u would ve be de 1st person 2 disvirgin her.it maybe that she ìs in need of it but she cant tell u and now that she been disvirgined,she will love the guy forever.

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@whizzy, wetin me come do nao! I jus happen 2love de gal, dat's all!

@sky, i thot that'll solve de heart break so I angrily "fuc.ked" de gal for some time before she finally come scatter my heart by sharin it to almost every guy i know.

Don't really want her back, just dat she goes around sharin her 'suppy' to guys, both those i know and the ones i don't.

Imagine dat kind thing, nao!

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@ poster

Its not as hard as u think.If u want to forget her,u will.Just hang around females a lot.i know u still think about her but with time as u hang around them,u get to forget her slowly and u might find another chick u might like

But Guy(just speaking out loud) u 4 try do sumthing with her b4 u leave ooooooooooo.e no pay like that now(my thought ,no harm intended)

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Nna holly, na wa 4 u kwa o.

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Oh gosh! Thank God i have true pals up in here.

Thanx all, really appreciate ur contributions.

I'm beginnin to feel free again.

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Whoa! *Sighs*

What a painful stroke but d truth has been opened 2 u by others. 'Wit time u'll scale over it' they said. D fact is dat u r afraid of getting beating up again in ur struggle 4 permanent love. 4 me, i'll say "FILL FREE!, KEEP SEARCHING AND KEEP LEARNING". Life is a lecturer. Av learnt 4rm dis ur kind of experience 2 months ago. But mine might b different 4rm ur's cos i'm still a virgin.

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I can imagine ur pain Hollysmile.

At times like this,it is not only d fact dat d girl left u dat hurts much but

the bitter truth dat wat u have bn helping her to preserve,was cheaply

dashed to one undeserving fella.

Dis is why i hate girls dat pre-condition relationships on no sex,while they

are robbing paul,they ll be paying peter handsomely.

Move on,next time,always remember to strike the iron when it is hot.

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@IK. Nothin do u!

I never spent extravagantly on her, it jus happened dat i fel in love wit de gal.

She loved me too, but it happened dat she wanted to experience life.

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Bliv me, she does not deserve u 1 bit.

My advice? Open up to new relationships, dat way u can only meet so many oda nice girls out dia-because they are out dia.

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Please free the babe, She really isnt worth all these emotions you're showering on her.The idea is that you're hurt,ofcourse you should be, you loved her.But then when a girl behaves like that,then its time you moved on,

Go do something with yourself, A course or something, Studying should take your mind off stuff.Or go and have some fun mehn, U never know, you might meet someone sweeter and better, Just free am jor.

A word is enough for the wise,no go carry wetin nor b your own in the process of squeezing ur neck for this girl.

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Thanx, whizzy. I know i can always have a shoulder in u to lean on.

At a point in my life i decided to equate issues by being a flirt, bt in a very short period of time, i quit cos it's no good thin for me.

Once again, i appreciate ur post, and all those who have sent in theirs.

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abeg make u 4get dat girl and move on with ur life.

what were u thinking when you allowed her to  enter sch with out opening her? maybe she didnt love u to the extent of giving her virginity to u, yes b cos immediately she get into sch and meet the person she loved, she releases to the person. or may be u were her money bag and she loved u cos of the money u were giving to her and not that she really loved u.

so, make u wakeup and wash her off ur mind and head and move ahead.

look for a good girl to date and forget her.

ekwu chelam, Gbam!!!!!

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Holly, that poo is nat worth losing sleep over. All u need do now is 2 put urself 2geda, try 2 4get about her, & take time to look 4 another girl u can love and trust. I know u'll find it difficult 2 love another girl o, but with time u 'll get acquainted to her.

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@camelot, thanx dear.

I earnestly pray so!

But until time switches this state of trauma off, i'll keep on trying.

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surely with time u will get over

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Yeah! You right bro.

I know she has tasted the fruit and don't need me anymore; i want her neither, and can never go back. all i want is how to get her off my head!

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Best advice for you bro is just forget that chic, she has tasted the sweet apple and now she sure don't want a geek like you "no offence"

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Wow! Thanx, y'all, for ur constructive words of advice.

Tho, i can get a chic if i go for one, de problem is dat i know i'll find it difficult to love dat person. Dat's why i'm try'na take some time before i jump in2 it again. What do think?

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u cant tame a lion no mata how hard u try, get urself a new chic,or beta stil occupy ur mind wit beta tins,4get d babe no mata how much u luv am,cos she aint worth even 1 byte of space in ur head

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Poster

You no go fok am well wel b4 she live you?

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Holly, how u dey nao? Long time.

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