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How Do We Handle Situation Like This?loving The Wrong Person (urgent)

Please my belove in the house i need your advice, Have been with my guy close to a year, we happen to be in the same age range, and intially the love between us was so deep , but just of a sudden my guy change just of no reason.I call him when things was out of hand and ask if I have done anything wrong, my guy told me that everything that happen between us was a mistakes, that his not worth to date me that am too good to be deceived, that he pray that God should give me someone that will appreciate me,

And now am in trouble, I can't eat, I mean I cant think about anything and I can't listen to any guy that comes my way. Please I need advice from both male and female in the house on what to do and the standard to keep men that comes my way.

waiting for urgent respons

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20 answers

when someone says he is not good for u, believe him or her, its either d person is feeling really guilty bout something u cant handle or d person is 2 insecure 4u or d person is tired of u! either way walk

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@Thoniaslim. im just curious, id like to just have an IM chat with you. Just a natural curiosity to meet a Nairalander in person. Who knows I mite know a couple of people U know back home. The world is a small place. Dont mind my profile name. Its a direct opposite. We can chat sometimes. U seem to be a sharp minded person.

I work in PJ, but im moving this Xmas bye bye to Msia.

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But I Thot You Said He Was Too Small For You In This Your Post. You Even Thot of Moving On. Maybe God Answered Your Prayers.

Reference: http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=77501.msg1473184#msg1473184

You know one thing id like to say about guys moving on? Sometimes the body language of the partner in question maybe sending the clue that its time to leave. Where You beaming the wrong signals unknowingly? Check yourself or history may repeat itself again.

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@topic

My dear, move on with your life jooo. the guy is not worth such trauma your putting yourself through, just look at the bright side of things. things that are meant to be would surely be. but those that are not meant to be would not be, and its not worth fighting or stressing yourself over them.

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Read this existing thread at below:

7 Reasons Why Females Get Hurt In Relationship

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-94423.0.html

Don't be victimized yourself waiting for your guy come back to your love life! Move on finding someone who loves who you are.

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some of what u guys r saying hurts but they are all truths,

I keep telling myself that i deserve better n that he aint worth it but then again, i really do love him n it frigging hurts, and there r days it's frigging annoying

God help us to get over and forget phases like these.

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My dear God will give you strenght, its not easy but it will be ok, soon.

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my dear, remember the good times you had and forget the rest. like someone else has so rightly pointed out, if he had the guts to tell you , then he really means it. letting go wont be easy, but it sure is possible.

be strong.

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I really appreciated the quick respons , I think with great and wonderful people here I don't need any friends  to hang out with.lol, because hanging out with male friends sometimes it's might turn to be a problem.

@chychy u are sayingthe real truth here (seeing each other often) Yes we see often because I invited him to my church once and he now pick up interest of coming to my church, so we do see at least 3 times a week in church.

talking about  body languages I will tell you that there is how a  guy will come and appear very real, i mean real till u wont even remember to if guys do flattered ladies. I think I need prayers too because I was so get used to the said guy, He'll always be there anytime any moment I need him, though the cash was not there but i tell you the truth I really enjoying it then, coz i was okay we manage what is available, please as you are responding you add a word of prayer too to give me more strength,

Thanks.

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@life's like that girl. you have to move on with your life. Sad it may seem, but he's history. You'll definitely get someone to love you like you should be. Take care missy.

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MEN U GOT TO MOVE ON, GUYS ARE NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE JARE just let him go, go out much often with both male and female, i had a similar problem but hey i have gotten over it and am better for it, he is not the best for you ok?

just go out more often, read your bible, watch the movies ,

all da best

peace

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try going out with some male friends of yours, change your environment, see life as new, very soon you will fall in love with another guy, but please dont rush so you dont rush out.

take care.

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@churchy

"how r u supposed 2 get ova him if u keep seeing him everyday, for instance, if u're working in d same place?"

in the quotes above i guess the guy is tired because you guys see all too often, you probably getting into him too much that he gets uncomfortable.

@ poster

in my opinion the guy is falling in love with someone, somehow, somewhere and i guess he prefers the latter to you, thats my humble opinion.

solution:

1. delete his number from your phone so you are never tempted to call, the more you call and beg, the farther he goes.

2. if he calls be very formal in your speech, and try ending the call first by telling him you have an appointment, its non of his business, now you have your whole life to live.

OH, if only you will have the courage to do this, LOVE IS WICKED.

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[b]how r u supposed 2 get ova him if u keep seeing him everyday, for instance, if u're working in d same place?[/b]

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@Poster

For a guy to face u & tell u all dat, he is so o o thru with u, i believe he thought about it well b4 he told u. I think u should credit him for telling u. Not many guys would.

Its hard to get over stuffs like that especially when it comes with a blow. But u've got to be strong. & i can bet u dat after some time, u would wonder how u made him fit in ur life. Yes u'll surely move on & u'll be glad u did.

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It is not only guy that do it. Ladies are more active in this game.

That said, from my own experience, that is if the guy is an honest type, certain issues must have been considered before any sane man decide to back out of a rosy relationship. That other person can be the world to you, but if there is an element in the relationship that is sure to block your long term happiness, then love had to be quenched by all mean!

The poster must first look for any of such sign before embarking on fence mending. It is the way you handle your finding that would decide the outcome.

If the guy/gal is honest, then it would not take you long to know his game. But if the guy is a player, and had recently find a new lady, he would first take you on a trip to eldorado before you know his motive. If you are smart, you would read from his body language.

When a guy say, he is not interested in relationship, may or may not be persuaded to change his mind. It is all about knowing his real motive.

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Its over, Accept it, mourn and get over it. Its part of learning, Life is for the strong and the tough, you need this to make you tough. So girl, cry as much as you want then shake it off and get over him.

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Yes, good advice. Don't try too hard to make it work. Give yourself distance from him, don't call, etc. It can take a long time to recover, do try to eat something. There is a natural reaction to being dumped (sorry to call it that, but it's the truth), you try to cling on more. Don't. It's not attractive and would be counter-productive, if you did want to get back with him, which I recommend against. It feels very personal, and is upsetting, but there are so many people in your exact same position (look at these forums). How was the relationship beforehand? When thinking back you may even realise that you had your doubts yourself. The trouble is, him ending it makes you feel like it must have been a good thing that has been taken away, when perhaps it wasn't. Be strong. Good luck.

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Wish I knew how old you were cos I will be able to advice you better.

Truth is that once a guy is no longer interested in a lady, there is little or nothing you can do about it.

Crying or even dying will not change anything. the best is that he might continue the relationship out of pity and continue to date whom he really wants and treat you like trash. That's why a lot of ladies go to the desperate level of trying to tie a man down with pregnancy which is silly.

The best thing is to let him go, love yourself and look out for love again. Since you've felt it once, you'll feel it again.

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I'm not in a position 2 give good counsel cos d truth is i'm in a similar situation, so let's wait for nairalanders 2 give suggestions

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