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How Do You Handle A Mummy's Boy?

He is a young man in his early twenties. Has got his job and an apartment of his own which is situated in a city 30 minutes away from his mum. However whenever his girlfriend visits (once in a month) she always accidentally meet his mother. sometimes it degenerates to the extent that all his friends happen to be present as well. To cut the long story short: the girl asked the guy for a space specifically meant for her. In a period of one month what is a weekend without a visit from your mum? Answer: you are asking for too much. That's it.

Now that girl is me and the boy happens to be my ex. I have been reasoning and it seems that in the African contest I had no right whatsoever to make such a demand. But, considering he nurtured me with so much hope for a future together, wasn't I right to recquire a special time and space from him?

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75 answers

michelin89 you are dating the wrong guy, but i think you asked for too much. The relationship should not have gone that far. When i was in secondary school all the guys i dated i went to their house and they made sure their mother's arent at home and if only when a guy wants to marry me that is when his mother comes into the equation. Anyway you said he was talking about marriage well he wants you to be comfortable in this world. I think you approach was wrong. Next time ask the right question

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You are a very selfish girl. Try and improve on your self relationship with people OK especially your guys mother.

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@ OP, become a Daddy's Girl

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Micheline,i was once in your shoes,i think you need to relax,be less possessive and act smart if you truly love the guy,believe me before you know it,you will have both him and his mother wrapped around your fingers.

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I feel you should get used to the mother being around,cos that what he wants.You could try taking him out(or suggest he takes you out)just to have a nice time b4 his Mum shows up.You may start up a battle you will loose if you keep showing the sign that you are not cool with his mum.He will surely get over it with time.

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This one never still understand say any reference to my mama nor dey touch me at all. He mistake me for my bf who go burn him hand if someone even mention him mama name.

listen omo me, nor dey too sad eh. I sure say one day you go also find another JustFool to marry you. Abi nor be this world get billions of people? Take heart. Doh!

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just give him little time to get matured. i,m sure he will change. but incase he does'nt,

find time to talk to him with a bedroom voice so that he will not have different meaning 2 it.

if all these strategy failed then quit or continue n' manage him like that.

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you are the wicked wife that all men shld flee from. dnt go spoil a good family relation, go look for a guy whose family is all dead to marry or berra still u can kill them so u can have all the time u seek, i pity the dude wey marry u sha. he will say i do to a life in eternal prison.

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@spiked, this is insightful. Having no maternal love might make a girl jealous of another mother showering love on her son

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You need couple time too!!!

Your family and parents can't be up in everything all the time. If they think so then there will be nothing but havoc in you and your partner's relationship.

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sweetheart,im sure u dont think dis boi is going to end up wt u in future?u dont right?pls i beg u,dont just hope for it,cos it might not happen,no man wants to end up wt smone who might scatter d family

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Na who talk say i dey jealous?

See these people. As I just comot small una start to dey gossip. Nor make me vex ooo!

UPDATE: we are still together and I have already made my intention known to him; i nor go pretend one day. He don talk him own and me sef talk my own. And i don tell am say he way go cause wahala between hima and any woman wey he go marry tomorrow. he laugh am off but one day one day he go see.

So thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread.

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craving has always been there,so women should stop playing d victim or crying foul wen they come in

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umm 'feeling comfortable'' i guess Michelin should have made her not too comfortable.

and talk of craving, why is it that that cravings spurt out like an hydra once the guy has a girl?

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and not when d motherinlaw is nice and does not have a prob,or has said to  u sm words u don't like

my mum once told me that

see i hate grownup mummie's boi,but this guy is a child,haba early twenties,22-23,so his case is understandable

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It's not feasible.

Women should know their boundaries.

A woman must not compete with her mother-in-law.

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lol.I hear you though

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madam i don't know d full story alright,but all i know is a girl trying to come between a man and his mum,all in d name of "love and future togeda"

not when this boi is still a mere child

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probably what the guy thought when he heard Mich's request.

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Slow your roll woman. We don't know the full story here. I'm not saying what she did was right but i believe there's more to this story than she's telling us.

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"wtout calling" or seeing" read dat

moving out im sure he needs his own privacy all d time,but living under my roof,means im going to be there 24/7 to know wats going on,he might not be too comfy wt dat

there is a diff btw a mother visiting(for a few hrs)and living wt her child

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that boi cant stay away from his mum,cos its obvious shes his financial support,infact blood sef is talking here,the OP is just asking for too much from a "boyfriend" and not a 2husband" ,i wonder wat will happen wen they get married

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why let him move out then?

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Quit a difference between being there all the day and being there the days she decides to pay him a visit

They should set a schedule.

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d guy has introduced her to his mum as his girl,d woman accepted her wt a smile,see ehn lets look at this thing two ways,michel wants all d guys attention to herself,its dripping from her post,and its obvious,d guys house I'm sure its d mum that is paying d bills and other things,hes just a kid for christsake,d mum is just being a caring mother,if i had a son whos 22 blive me ,i wouldnt stay a day wtout seeing him or talking to him on d phone,its only natural

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But she doesnt visit everyday. he visits on the 2-3 days michelin goes there

I only blame the boy for not telling her the days that its fine for her to visit and there wont be any interference

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lol. They have broken up though. All she needs now is to move on. Unless she wants to go and beg him

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Lmao! It really isn't that serious at all.

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oh pls karma michel is just exagerating abeg,dis woman has got other kids ,its not only her ex,she cant be there every single time she(michel)comes visiting

abegiii women r good at painting stories in their favours

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U can say that again.

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Even though the guy isn't a kid any longer i still think he's kind of young. Most men will always choose their mothers over you or rather only a few knows how to separate the two. He is now an ex and all you can do now is to move on with your life. Do whatever that will make you feel better about it regardless of what anyone thinks and with time you will be fine.

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Solutions that might have worked;

1. Buy a big ferocious dog; A rotweiler, Doberman or Pitbull. Keep a picture of the boys mum close to his food, so that anytime the dog sees the mum he thinks shes food. After two bites, the mum would never visit the house again. Not even on holidays.

2. Your House; Instead of going to his place, invite him to yours.

3. Juju a.k.a Cobnomi; Use african magic to get your mans undivided love.

4. Relocation; Get the guy to move to another state.

5. Confrontation; Walk up to the mum and tell her to give your man breathing space.

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I seriously doubt this too

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seriously michelin i think u r exagerating ,because d mum can't be there all d time,i mean every single time u visit

sorry but i think its not d visit that is ur only prob,u r jealous of d guys feelings for his mum and d attention,shes his mum,he has d right to give her d attention and love hes giving to her now,c'mon don't give yourself unnecessary headache over one woman

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lol true.

Michelin the guy is now an ex . . . find another guy who doesnt have his mom around 24/7. I also dont agree that he cant leave the house with you when his mum is there . . . he just doesnt want to.

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Rebellion is independence.

At that age, she knew i couldn't be bossed around ALL THE TIME.

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It seems a lot of people didn't read the first post. Here it is.

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Thats not independence, Thats called being stubborn.

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this topic interesting no be small.

the way u dey blow pigin here, i doubt you re not naija.

back to the topic,

why not be inviting him to your house,with this you can send your families out or better still  visit him ordinary day and make love as much as you want.

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what a depressing statement.

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without anaesthetics or the guarantee of success!

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I know what you mean. LOL! I hate it whenever I go to a guy's house and meet his mother. I don't know how to handle myself but it's a good thing they all know how to get me to be comfortable with them.

What you should do is you should try to talk to his mum and ask her more about her day. Have little discussions with her to the point where you can laugh and have a good time with her. That will make your ex love you more.

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Lol . . . . . kinda know what you mean there, That can be uncomfortable.

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u mean "were" and "was" right?cos u just told us hes ur ex?

r u really sure hes ur ex,or u lot r still doing the whole thing

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I don't want to start discussing if living together is better than being married because I have got my views on that.

All I want to clarify is that:

we are dating.

His mums knows it.

My dad knows it

We have plans, even though they are not official.

But I am having problems being comfortable whenever I am with him.

Exactly! I don't know how to behave or what to do around her. Should i ask her if she wants something to drink? She might think I am living there while I am just on a visit. Goshhhhhhh! Somebody help meeee!

We alternate. He comes to me and I go to him.

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Good point for you to think about Mich.

I understand, but she mentioned the guy is in his early 20s.

- first off, it seems he's too young, is not mature enough for the kind of relationship she wants and still depends on his mother to do a lot of thinking for him.

- The mother is obviously not convinced her son is ready for a committed relationship yet.

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I dont think that's what she meant.

More like give her a time when it's just them

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Why can't your guy come and visit you? Why do you have to be the one going there all the time if his mum is always around him?

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No she isn't. I greet her and she answers me with a smile. I absolutely have no problems with her, but it kind of stresses me to see her all the time I visit!

Did you read where I wrote "we weren't matured enough"? I don't feel ready to take on such a huge responsibility and I also feel he needs to clarify things too. I am not so foolishly in love.

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